MeetRosalind Sedacca, CCT Rosalind Sedacca is an author, an award-winning professional speaker, and Certified Corporate Trainer specializing in both communication and relationship issues. She has facilitated workshops and seminars throughout North America on creating 'conscious' relationships for both singles and couples. Based on her own personal experience, she wrote How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children - with Love! This internationally acclaimed ebook provides an innovative new approach to breaking the divorce news to your children and setting the stage for positive parenting ahead. At Rosalind's Child-Centered Divorce Network parents will find resources and tools to help them create successful outcomes for the entire family in the months, years and decades to come.
"Rosalind's book is unique in that it offers parents an innovative approach to having that difficult and usually dreaded initial conversation with their children and making it as positive and supportive as possible. A parent contemplating a divorce would be well served by reading this valuable book."
Raoul Felder,Celebrity Divorce Attorney
"Rosalind's brilliant book's non-judgmental, compassionate and no-nonsense approach will resonate with all divorcing parents – even those with the most challenging relationships. It is a critical piece of the divorce puzzle, and a must read!"
Cynthia Tiano, Esq."I highly recommend this as more than a book, but a tool to assist children to more successfully navigate the disorientation and maze that comes as part of divorce."
C. Paul Wanio, Ph.D., LMFT, LMHC"This hands-on interactive storybook is a must for all parents going through a divorce. It is a step-by-step guide for appropriately including children in the process. No parent should leave their home without it!"
Sally Goldberg, PhDCenter for Successful Children
"Rosalind Sedacca has invaluable information to share with divorcing parents. There is no other book a couple needs to help them with the most difficult conversation a parent can have with a child, that their parents are getting divorced. You are VERY lucky to have found my partner in the peaceful divorce movement."
Belinda Rachman, Esq"Rosalind Sedacca has just improved the lives of countless children. I have practiced divorce law for 44 years and will attest to the importance of how children are introduced to their parents' divorce. How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? gives us something simple and sound to rely upon. There is absolutely no downside to Rosalind's storybook concept. It's all good and it beats anything else that I've come across. In fact, it's great and it is definitely something that the world has needed. The book is a winner and it is also a lifesaver."
J. Richard Kulerski, Esq"Rosalind Sedacca has made a monumental contribution to self-help resources in an area that affects the lives of millions of men, women and children. After 32 years of counseling people in various stages of uncoupling, I can testify to the urgent need of a "how to" guide for people contemplating divorce. This book offers them a "life preserver." I have already referred my patients to this material and have received great feedback. I cannot recommend this book highly enough."
Beverly Gibel, LCSW, ACSW, BCD"Rosalind Sedacca's 'How Do I Tell the Kids about the DIVORCE?' is a much needed breakthrough in the emotional minefield that parents traverse when they prepare their children for an impending divorce. The template, storybook strategy sends sensitive, kind, loving and safe messages which every child needs as they prepare for the scary unknown. I recommend her book for everyone who has children and is contemplating divorce."
Jack Singer, Ph.D.Licensed Clinical & Forensic Psychologist, LCSW, ACSW, BCD
Doing Divorce Right – Reese Witherspoon, Ryan and Kids
Congratulations to Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe for taking the high road when so many in Hollywood choose another path. These two are rising above resentment and vindictiveness for the sake of their children – and in the process they’re setting an example that’s worth public mention.
Three months after their split this couple was seen together attending a school function with their young children. The significance of spending time together with Mom and Dad when kids are experiencing the drama of their parent’s divorce can’t be overstated. It provides support, security and stability at a time when the children’s world is falling apart.
It takes mature parents to move in this direction. Many therapists call it
Child-Centered Divorce. These parents are consciously aware of the emotional, psychological and spiritual needs of their children at this challenging time. They are willing to transcend the personal drama in their own relationship to help ease the way for their kids during and after the divorce.
Witherspoon asked for joint legal custody and primary physical custody of the children. As parents she and Phillippe will have dozens of opportunities to choose whether to create times together as a family unit. Besides the obvious holidays and birthdays, parents in a child-centered divorce keep the door open to other activities, such as sporting events, school programs, recitals, parties, Open School Night, etc.
“Parents in a child-centered divorce put their differences behind them when it comes to “family” time, “ says Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, author of the upcoming ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce: A Fill-in-the-Blanks Storybook To Prepare Your Children With Love! “They’re civil, respectful and totally focused on giving their children the best possible experience when the family spends time together. These caring parents,” she notes, “do not confide their frustrations to their children and, most important of all, they limit venting their anger and distain about the former spouse to conversations with other adults.”
To ask, “How will my divorce affect my child?” is a very courageous question, says C. Paul Wanio, PhD, LMHC, a contributing therapist in Sedacca’s ebook. “This is a time of countless demands when clear thinking and good decision-making are imperative. While at times you may feel like giving up, there are ways to lessen the severity of the negative effects of divorce on your children. Committing yourselves to creating a child-centered divorce is the best way to start.”
Congratulations again to Reese and Ryan. Their efforts are to be commended.
Rosalind Sedacca can be reached at Rosalind@childcentereddivorce.com. Her free articles and ezine is available at www.childcentereddivorce.com. Rosalind’s new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook(TM) Guide to Preparing Your Children — with Love! can be found at http://www.howdoitellthekids.com
6 Responses
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Thank you Rosalind for sharing this valuable reminder that there are parents who are focused in making the right choices for their children’s emotional welfare. Target parents of alienation and hostile aggressive parenting tactics especially recognize the effects for the children and applaud these parents…But not more than their children will as they continue to grow. Through their own difficult transitions, as all divorce has challenges, this is their personal character and emotional health as loving parents to focus on their childrens needs.
Thank you, Tara, for your comments and for sharing your perspective on parental alienation. Yes, it’s important for every parent to be aware of the negative consequences of alienating their children from the other parent. That’s why I rally toward supporting and recognizing parents who are making wise choices, especially when they are role models in our society.
I encourage you and others to share you thoughts with us at any time!
Best regards,
Rosalind
as a family mediator i get asked the question often if two parents should do things together with children once separated and specialists say that kids that way , keep hoping the parents will reconcile; whic way is better ?
There are no absolutes when it comes to divorce and separation as each family dynamic is different. However, continuing to do things together as a family is usually beneficial for the children because you will remain a “family” long after the divorce. You want the kids to understand this and the better the parents get along after the divorce, the easier the transition is for the kids. Remind parents to keep telling the children that Mom and Dad will never live together in one house with them again and will never be married any more, but they will always be your parents and always love you. In time the children will get the message. Don’t encourage parents to only do things separately with the children. Birthdays, holidays, school and sports event and other important occasions are times when children want and need both parents together. The more they have that time, the better the divorce outcome for the entire family.
Yes this would be wonderful, but when one parent has to flee the marriage for her and the lives of the children, you can’t get together for Thanksgiving dinner. Abusive parent’s use the “excuse” of Parental Alienation, which is not recongnized by any real mental health professional or in the DSM – IV, as a reason as to why the children are afraid of them. Certainly it couldn’t be from years of abuse. It would be great but, not all families are able to to this. Understand there are legitimate reasons why. Understand without being judgemental.
Thank you for your important message, Kim. Yes, there are families for which the ideal child-centered divorce is not possible and that is truly sad. I hear you loud and clear and understand that there is much psychological abuse in divorce.
Not all parents care about being fair or what’s in the best interest of their children. Their goal, instead, is simply to hurt or exploit the other parent — as well as the children. I know parental alienation can be used as an excuse for irresponsible behavior by Dads or Moms who “just don’t get it” or just don’t care. My heart goes out to you and wish I had some magic words to make it all right for you and your children.
It is much easier for me to share my message so as to prevent abuses within couples facing divorce. It’s much harder to undo the damage once an abusive parent moves ahead in a counter-productive manner. Sadly, it’s the children that suffer the most in these cases.
Please don’t give up — and continue to be the best parent you can be. Take the high road as much as possible so your children see you as a positive role model they can look up to. It may be many years ahead, but one day your children will be grown up and will thank you for being the mature, responsible parent you are. Often adult children come to reject the alienating parent when they see the larger picture.
I wish you only the best for you and your children — and wish I could do more!
Sincerely,
Rosalind