Archive for July, 2011
Denise Richards/Charlie Sheen Divorce: no alienation for their kids!
Православни икониThe Charlie Sheen/Denise Richards marriage and divorce has been fodder for tabloid headlines for years. Too often celebrity divorces are showcases for doing divorce wrong. That’s why it deserves our attention and recognition when any divorced parent who is under constant media attention makes decisions that are supportive of a child-centered perspective.
Sheen and Richards were divorced in 2006. “When we fell in love,” Richards said, “he had been sober for three years. He was getting his life back together. He had just gotten a job on ‘Spin City.’ And I really admired his strength and courage for overcoming addiction, and being so humble about it.
“And that’s what attracted me to him. So the Charlie that some of you have seen over the last year is not the person that I met and married.”
As with so many marriages, the early years started with much promise. Richards said Sheen was “amazing” when they first met. “He was so humbled and sweet, and charming and funny. And had such a great heart, and very honest. And we just had a very deep connection.”
When asked about the recent media circus surrounding Charlie and his questionable behavior, Richards noted, “From the beginning of it I was very worried. And it made me sad to see him that way. And so I was concerned. I was concerned for our children.”
What parent wouldn’t be? Richards went on to say that when it comes to Charlie’s antics, it’s the couple’s two daughters — Sam, 7 and Lola, 6 – that are her top priority.
And this is why I’m bringing attention to this high-profile divorce. Richards understands that her girls love their Dad and while she needs to protect them when he’s acting out, she also knows that keeping them from him would be emotionally hurtful and psychologically harmful for the girls. While other mothers may have chosen to distance their children from a troubled father, Richards is rooting for him and working as hard as she can to keep her “family” together – for the sake of the kids.
She did have to talk to the girls about addiction to explain some of the stories even they were hearing. According to Denise she was not planning to have that conversation for several years, but it had to be done.
“We’ll always have a bond with our daughters,” she said. “And I wish nothing but the best for him.”
When recently interviewed and asked what her wish for her ex-husband was, the actress said she wants him to be healthy and there for his kids and himself.
“He’s a survivor,” said Richards. “If anyone can pick themselves up, make a huge comeback, it’s Charlie.”
There’s a valuable lesson here for us all when we find our Ex isn’t behaving according to our standards or value system. Watch, wait and be flexible. I salute Denise for knowing that her relationship with Charlie and his relationship with the kids need not be black or white. She can evaluate the circumstances and monitor his actions before bringing the girls to see him. When things are good, the girls get to spend precious time with their Dad. When he’s off center, Denise steps in to protect them all from possible embarrassment or hurt.
Isn’t that what a responsible mother does? And what a child-centered divorce is all about?
Yes, this is a controversial topic with no simple right or wrong answers. I invite you to provide your own perspective so our community can chat about it.
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Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a relationship seminar facilitator and author of How Do I Tell the Kids … about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children — with Love! The ebook provides fill-in-the-blank templates for customizing a personal family storybook that guides children through this difficult transition with optimum results. For free articles, coaching and other valuable resources on child-centered divorce or to subscribe to her free ezine, go to: www.childcentereddivorce.com.
© Rosalind Sedacca All rights reserved.












