Facing Separation or Divorce?
 
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On these pages you'll find …

  • Tips on Parenting during and after Divorce
  • Divorce support, advice & strategies for parents
  • Parenting resources, coaching & teleclasses!
We're here for you & your children
before, during & after divorce!


Meet Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
Rosalind Sedacca is recognized as The Voice of Child-Centered Divorce. She is a Divorce & Parenting Coach and Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network for parents. Rosalind is also the author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children - with Love! This internationally acclaimed ebook provides an innovative new approach to breaking the divorce news to your children and setting the stage for positive parenting ahead. Rosalind also provides Personal Coaching services, via phone or Skype, on all facets of divorce and parenting issues. Her Mastering Child-Centered Divorce 10-hr Audio Coaching Program with Workbook provides valuable insights, tips and advice on co-parenting successfully on behalf of the children you love! Rosalind’s helpful resources throughout this website will help you create the best possible outcome for your family in the months, years and decades to come.
Experts Endorse Rosalind's Book …

"Rosalind's book is unique in that it offers parents an innovative approach to having that difficult and usually dreaded initial conversation with their children and making it as positive and supportive as possible. A parent contemplating a divorce would be well served by reading this valuable book."

Raoul Felder,
Celebrity Divorce Attorney

"Rosalind's brilliant book's non-judgmental, compassionate and no-nonsense approach will resonate with all divorcing parents – even those with the most challenging relationships. It is a critical piece of the divorce puzzle, and a must read!"

Cynthia Tiano, Esq.

"I highly recommend this as more than a book, but a tool to assist children to more successfully navigate the disorientation and maze that comes as part of divorce."

C. Paul Wanio, Ph.D., LMFT, LMHC

"This hands-on interactive storybook is a must for all parents going through a divorce. It is a step-by-step guide for appropriately including children in the process. No parent should leave their home without it!"

Sally Goldberg, PhD
Center for Successful Children

"Rosalind Sedacca has invaluable information to share with divorcing parents. There is no other book a couple needs to help them with the most difficult conversation a parent can have with a child, that their parents are getting divorced. You are VERY lucky to have found my partner in the peaceful divorce movement."

Belinda Rachman, Esq

"Rosalind Sedacca has just improved the lives of countless children. I have practiced divorce law for 44 years and will attest to the importance of how children are introduced to their parents' divorce. How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? gives us something simple and sound to rely upon. There is absolutely no downside to Rosalind's storybook concept. It's all good and it beats anything else that I've come across. In fact, it's great and it is definitely something that the world has needed. The book is a winner and it is also a lifesaver."

J. Richard Kulerski, Esq

"Rosalind Sedacca has made a monumental contribution to self-help resources in an area that affects the lives of millions of men, women and children. After 32 years of counseling people in various stages of uncoupling, I can testify to the urgent need of a "how to" guide for people contemplating divorce. This book offers them a "life preserver." I have already referred my patients to this material and have received great feedback. I cannot recommend this book highly enough."

Beverly Gibel, LCSW, ACSW, BCD

"Rosalind Sedacca's 'How Do I Tell the Kids about the DIVORCE?' is a much needed breakthrough in the emotional minefield that parents traverse when they prepare their children for an impending divorce. The template, storybook strategy sends sensitive, kind, loving and safe messages which every child needs as they prepare for the scary unknown. I recommend her book for everyone who has children and is contemplating divorce."

Jack Singer, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical & Forensic Psychologist, LCSW, ACSW, BCD

postheadericon Conflicting Lifestyles Create Conflicts for Divorced Moms and Dads

As a Divorce & Parenting Coach I continually get asked questions from concerned parents. One of the questions recently sent to me focused on an issue that many divorced parents face with mounting frustration. It had to do with this woman’s ex-husband treating the children to lavish gifts and trips when he has them, while Mom is struggling financially. She added that she is aware that she shouldn’t say anything negative to her children about her ex, but she was finding it difficult in the face of her circumstances. The question, of course, was what can she do about this?

It’s impossible to provide a specific answer when the so many of the circumstances are unknown in this situation. How often is Dad seeing the children? What kind of relationship does he have with them when he is not there? Is he angry about not sharing custody? Is he resentful towards Mom regarding other issues? Is he aware that she is struggling financially? Does he care? Is he trying to show her up and influence the children away from her? Or is he oblivious that his behavior is creating an issue for her? Is he aware that he may be spoiling the children? Does he think he’s being a wonderful Dad?

I’m sure you’ve thought of several other questions that are relevant to this situation. In so many cases there are no black and white answers to these types of problems – and certainly no simple solutions. It’s all about shades of grey, trying to find a common ground, a means of communicating your feelings and concerns in a way that doesn’t put the other person on the defensive, making them wrong and therefore no longer interested in a dialogue.

I began my answer by acknowledging Mom for understanding and respecting the importance of not bad-mouthing her former husband to their children. I also agreed that it was indeed difficult when Dad spoils the kids with material attention while Mom is struggling to make ends meet.

I offered some suggestions that she might want to consider. Depending on the age of the children, she could explain to them that Dad, like many grandparents and others who do not live with the children on a daily basis, wants to make his time with them very special by treating them to things that are not part of their everyday life. If he were at home with them, that wouldn’t be the case. Mom can’t do that because there are too many day-to-day routines, chores, expenses, etc. that she has to tend to. So this way they get the best of both worlds.

She could also talk to Dad, if her communication level with him allows that, and remind him of how his behavior appears from the children’s perspective. He might want to consider their confusion between the two lifestyles of their parents as well as the lessons they are learning about fiscal responsibility and other consequences of spoiling children.

I brought up several questions Mom needs to consider. Is Dad intentionally doing this to anger her — or is it unconscious irresponsible behavior? Is he resentful about not seeing more of his children and therefore intentionally trying to hurt Mom financially? Each of these factors plays a part in how Mom can best communicate the consequences for the children when Dad shows them different values and a different lifestyle than the one they are living with her.

If you have some other ideas and suggestions on this topic, I encourage you to go to my blog and enter your perspective. Let’s get a dialogue going on this tough topic. Just keep in mind there’s no absolutely right and wrong takes on this, especially when we don’t know the circumstances. We can all learn from each other’s experiences and, hopefully, grow in more positive ways ourselves – for the betterment of our children.

Visit http://www.childcentereddivorce.com and click on the Blog button on top. Then visit the blog page and post your comment.

*     *     *

Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a Divorce & Parenting Coach and author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children — with Love! The book provides fill-in-the-blank templates for customizing a personal family storybook that guides children through this difficult transition with optimum results. For more information about the book, Rosalind’s free ezine, coaching services and valuable resources on divorce and parenting issues, visit http://www.childcentereddivorce.com.

© Rosalind Sedacca   All rights reserved.

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