Comments on: Children and Divorce: New book uses a unique Create-a-Storybook™ concept to help parents tell kids about divorce

By: Best Interest

Best Interest — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 20:01:20 +0000

Well, if parents were that interested in how their decisions affected others to begin with, perhaps you wouldn’t be looking at divorce. Please note, I only speak of the most highly used and glamorous “No-Fault” divorce in this. If there IS fault, the children’s best interest is probably served with one parent. However, no matter what the case, counting on both parents to work together is a bit of long shot. If they could, they would have. The parent filing for the divorce is usually the one trying to make sure their decisions affect THEMSELVES as little as possible, and are looking for justification for their decisions pretending it doesn’t affect their children. It is unfortunate that only after the judge’s gavel falls that society starts looking after the “best interest” of the child.

I look at it as telling people how to keep your child as safe as possible while you run into a brick wall with your vehicle. I would think a better use of time would be to help people avoid walls instead of pretending they can do it without consequence if they just buckle their child in.

This is not dark and damaging…it is actual reality and if more people opened their eyes and took SOME responsibility for the decision instead of acting like it was something inevitable, perhaps we could prevent the issue to begin with. THEIR decision to divorce is the control point. Everything after that is just giving pain meds and putting band-aids on the wounds they’ve caused. It doesn’t remove the scars, but they can tell the victims of their decisions they tried to make them as comfortable as possible while they did it. That should make everyone feel better.

Unfortunately, “No-fault” divorce is RARELY a positive light in a child’s world. And no amount of “Correct” communication will turn that around. The best we can hope for is less dim until we rewire society with spotlights on their decisions.

I can appreciate what you are trying to do and I thank you for the opportunity to express my views.

By: Rosalind Sedacca

Rosalind Sedacca — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 02:55:19 +0000

Sadly your self-righteous comments have no foundation in truth. All studies show that children do better in households with two parents who provide loving parenting.

Unfortunately, children in homes with distressed, abusive, self-indulgent, disfunctional parents do as poorly as those from divorced homes with the same kind of parents. It’s not divorce itself but the way parents handle divorce that wounds and scars children emotionally.

Check the studies and see for yourself. Our goal is to enlighten parents about responsible parenting that puts their children’s needs first.

Sometimes parents better serve their children by separating or divorcing to provide more peace in the home environment. We are not here to encourage divorce. We’re here to keep parents on the path of conscious parenting, despite their personal relationship errors or challenges.

The world is not as black and white as you’d like to see it. Why not strive to be a positive light in the world instead of a critical dark and damaging force?

By: Best Interest

Best Interest — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 23:58:58 +0000

It is truly a shame our society believes there can be such a thing as a child-centered divorce. EVERY research study shows children do better in households with two parents, yet we feign empathy for them by creating terms such as “child-centered” divorce. In most cases, it would be more appropriately named “self-centered” divorce and how to not look bad to your kids. We so readily accept divorce, especially “no-fault divorce,” when it is certainly NOT in the best interest of the children…but have the gall to then shout “best interest” to make sure the decision becomes someone else’s responsibility. I do not agree in trying to pretend there is a civil way to tell the children you are so selfish that their best interests only come into play after your self-serving decision is in effect. It is sad, and certainly not altruistic in its empathy. Justification and shift of responsibility for a decision regardless of the children is definitely more appropriate. Perhaps that should be the lead in for any couple with children seeking a no-fault divorce.

By: Rosalind Sedacca

Rosalind Sedacca — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 23:37:28 +0000

Thanks, Sandra. Hope you’ll stop by often. Lots of great info to share.

By: sandrar

sandrar — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 22:47:19 +0000

Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. Cheers! Sandra. R.

By: Karen O'Bannon

Karen O'Bannon — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 04:34:37 +0000

Great idea.

By: Tim

Tim — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 14:21:22 +0000

Here are some more good tips for minimizing the effect of divorce on kids: http://www.life123.com/article_FullStory/Understanding-Divorce-and-Children_1205354071463.html

By: Jason Lagden

Jason Lagden — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 13:14:35 +0000

This is a great concept!
I struggled for years to overcome my parents backwards and forwards slandering, this child and divorce book really looks like it deals with some important issues!

By: New and Used Book Reviews

New and Used Book Reviews — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 02:29:57 +0000

New and Used Book Reviews…

I couldn’t understand some parts of this article, but it sounds interesting…

By: Barbara Bodling

Barbara Bodling — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 05:32:13 +0000

Hi,

Just wanted to stop by from 1st Friday. Sounds like you market a great product for children–children need to understand about divorce and not blame themselves. I hope that you have a chance to visit my blog sometime at http://prettyinpinkwomansministry.blogspot.com