The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce! - Divorce and Co-Parenting - Parenting Children of Divorce - Dating as a Divorced Parent
Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC
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Being a single parent after a divorce or separation can be challenging. That's why Family Transitions developed the eNew Beginnings course. It’s recognized as the most well-researched and effective online parenting classes available today. Equally important, It’s also designed to support moms and dads in being the kind of parent they want to be during this stressful time. eNew Beginnings focuses on the building blocks of effective parenting after divorce or separation. Through separate classes for moms and dads, the programs offer the best evidence of positive outcomes for children. Both parents benefit from learning: Practical Tools to Protect Children from Conflict How to Reduce Interparental Conflict Ways to Decrease Children’s Mental Health Problems Listening Tools to Get Children to Share More Skills to Improve Parent’s Relationship with Children Effective Tools to Decrease Children’s Misbehaviors Positive Activities to Enjoy with Their Children Long-term payoffs: Proven Positive Outcomes: The eNew Beginnings
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Does parental anger affect children of divorce? Studies repeatedly show that fighting around the children does more damage to them than divorce itself. That’s why as parents we need to be diligent in monitoring our children as well as our own behavior. So, we can safeguard our kids from emotional and psychological damage. Exposure to conflict can change a child’s self-image and sense of security. It impacts their concept of the world and their ability to trust others. The consequences can last a lifetime. A study published in the Journal of Research on Adolescence* shows that children exposed to constant parental bickering are more likely to be depressed. They are also more prone to expressing other “problem behaviors,” including substance abuse, aggression and poor school grades. Some children regress back to bed-wetting, thumb sucking or limiting social contact. Others move into bullying, acting out and thoughts
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC In a newsletter from Dr. Mark Goulston, he makes a disturbing point. “When asked to choose between their parents being nicer to them or more loving towards each other, most teenagers pick the latter. The animosity between parents is very painful to their children.” Stop and think about that for a moment. Teenagers would sacrifice receiving more love from their parents if they could assure their parents got along better with one another. This reinforces what most mental health professionals have long known. Parental conflict is a source of continual pain for our children – whether the parents are married or divorced! As a Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach and Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network for parents, this is extremely important. I want both parents to fully understand the impact of parental discord upon your children. That’s why I ask every client: Do you love your
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Let’s face it, we all make mistakes we regret. It’s part of the learning process. This is especially true for parents. But when we make mistakes as DIVORCED PARENTS, the impact can be even more lasting – and dramatic! So, here’s the bottom line: It’s far better to set the course straight today than to reap the consequences years from now when your adult children ask: Mom/Dad, what were you thinking? Of course, coping with the challenges of parenting after divorce or separation can be very frustrating and difficult. It takes enormous awareness and compassion. With that in mind, here are the most emotionally damaging mistakes that negatively impact children of divorce. Don’t be guilty of making these mistakes: Fighting around your children. Even if it’s on the phone or in another room, if they can hear you, it’s a source of pain, confusion and deep
Cooperative coparenting supports children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC I read a poignant comment on a blog recently written by a married mother of three. She was a child of divorce whose father moved out of the home when she was four. She talks about having very few pictures of herself as a child and only one of her mother and father together. Her grandfather found and gave her the photo just a few years ago. She framed it and has proudly displayed it in her home for her own children to see. She explains how special that one photo of her with Mom and Dad is to her. It shows a little girl sitting happily on a lawn with her “real” family – before the divorce. This woman grieves that she has no other photographs of her father and so few pictures of her childhood. She
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Facing divorce and stymied about how to tell your kids? Wondering how it will affect them? Worried about hurting them with the news? When’s the best time to talk? What to say and not say? What they will say? Not sure just what to confide? Well, you’re not alone. There’s no doubt this might be one of the most difficult conversations you’ll ever have. It’s a talk your children won’t want to have – and you must be prepared. Here are the five mistakes most commonly made by parents regarding the divorce talk. Be sure you don’t add stress to your children’s lives by making these errors. You'll find answers to the other questions on my blog at ChildCenteredDivorce.com. 1. Exposing your children to parental conflict or fighting. Studies show that this does more damage to children than any other factor in their lives – whether
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce is often a time for disconnect. It’s not uncommon for you to feel alone, rejected and insecure in the months following your divorce. So can your children. It is important for you to strengthen your bond with your children during this time of transition – whether you are living with them or apart. Children want to know they are still loved, valued and cared about. Show them, tell them and keep in close communication with them. This is equally important during the happy times and the sad ones. They need to know they have a safe place to turn, a shoulder to cry on and a non-judgmental ear when they need it. This is true even if you are not physically together. If divorce has been tough on you – remember it’s even tougher on them – whether they confide that to you or not.
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Dating after divorce can be challenging for many parents who have been out of the market for some time. But it’s even more challenging for your children. It’s only natural for them to be resistant to any new partner you bring into their lives. And sometimes they can be downright belligerent to keep you from dating post-divorce. No matter how much you love your kids, they can represent obstacles to your future love life. This is a reality whether your divorce was relatively painless or high conflict. As a parent you don’t want to create more emotional drama or trauma for your children. You want to protect them from unnecessary conflict and competition for your attention. When you introduce a new partner, especially one who may be a parental figure in the future, be prepared. It’s not surprising that kids will want to express their feelings,
Parenting after divorce takes insight By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Let’s face it, divorce impacts everyone in the family. But it doesn’t have to scar your children if you remember to put their emotional and psychological needs first when making crucial co-parenting decisions. Keep in mind that every decision you make regarding your divorce will affect the wellbeing of your children in a multitude of serious ways. Of course, the emotional scars are not only harder to see, they’re also much harder to erase. Here are 6 significant ways to avoid scarring or wounding your kids as you move through your divorce and transition into post-divorce co-parenting in the months and years ahead. 1) Stop conflict and fighting around the kids! Studies show time and again that it is conflict and tension around children that creates the most difficulties for them related to divorce. It’s not the
Child Caught Between Divorced Parents By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Whether your divorce is pending or five years behind you, it continues to impact your children. And they will attempt to process that reality according to their age and level of understanding. There are several concepts that cause the most emotional turmoil for children. Being aware of these sensitive areas can help parents address these issues more effectively. As your children age, they may revisit your divorce with more questions, confusion or insecurity. That’s why it’s essential that you have answers ready based on a keen understanding of how children internalize divorce – even long after it’s over. There are two major concepts that can create the most emotional pain for children. The first has to do with blame and the second with unrealistic expectations. Here are some suggestions for handling these common challenges. Children keep blaming
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