parenting after divorce Archives - Child-Centered Divorce

6 Ways To Boost Connection To Your Kids ...

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce is often a time for disconnect. It’s not uncommon for you to feel alone, rejected and insecure in the months following your divorce. So can your children. It is important for you to strengthen your bond with your children during this time of transition – whether you are living with them or apart. Children want to know they are still loved, valued and cared about. Show them, tell them and keep in close communication with them. This is equally important during the happy times and the sad ones. They need to know they have a safe place to turn, a shoulder to cry on and a non-judgmental ear when they need it. This is true even if you are not physically together. If divorce has been tough on you – remember it’s even tougher on them – whether they confide that to you or not.

Parenting After Divorce

5 Mindset Keys To More Positive Co-Parenting (& a happier you) After Divorce!

Cooperative coparenting supports children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Parenting during and after divorce can be complex, frustrating and confusing. However, every day parents around the world cope with the challenges and raise happy, well-adjusted children. There are many factors that impact your effectiveness as a co-parent. Here are five that greatly influence your pre- and post-divorce co-parenting success. Monitor Your Attitude Attitude plays a crucial part in every facet of our lives. It’s especially important when we’re parenting after divorce. If you make a commitment to creating as positive an experience as possible, on behalf of the children you love, you are on your way to succeeding. What attitude are you conveying about your divorce? Try to catch your thoughts and the way you speak about it. Are you filled with negativity? Resentment? Fear? Are your days consumed with a “poor me” mindset? Are you attracting

Child-Centered Divorce

6 Key Questions When Children of Divorce Resist Their Other Parent

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Parenting after divorce is always challenging, especially when your children act out. One big issue is handling children if they resist spending time with their other parent. Many factors come into play. Here are 6 crucial questions to ask yourself which can help you determine the source of the problem and understand the reasons why your children are resisting contact with their other parent. Are they feeling guilty or disloyal about leaving your presence? This can easily influence how they react to visits or time away living with their other parent. Have they been privy to information, slurs or other comments that make them dislike their other parent? Do they hear you complain about that parent to family or friends? Are they being raised in an environment hostile towards that parent? Has their other parent been mistreating them or disciplining them in a different way than

Parenting After Divorce

5 Smart Ways To Strengthen Your Parent-Child Connection After Divorce

parenting after divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Sadly, divorce is a time when we experience disconnection. We disconnect from our former spouse. Too often we often have to disconnect from time spent with our children as well. That’s why it is important for you to strengthen your bond with your children. Find ways of strengthening or at least maintaining your connections during this challenging period of transition. This is equally true, when you are living with your children as well as when you are apart. That’s the basis of a Child-Centered Divorce. Children want and NEED to know they are still loved, valued and cared about. Show them, tell them and keep in close communication with them – during the happy times and the sad ones. They need to feel they have a safe place to turn, a shoulder to cry on and a non-judgmental ear

Parenting After Divorce

Divorcing Parents: Don’t See Divorce As a Failure

Family Portrait By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all know divorce marks the end of a marital relationship. But when children are involved, it need not mean the end of the family. This is an important distinction for both parents and children to grasp. It can affect how that family is impacted by the divorce. Too often in our culture we look at divorce as a failure. That negative label puts an added emotional burden on parents when they are already feeling vulnerable, ashamed, anxious and confused. Rather than reflecting failure, divorce can be a solution for families. This is especially true for families that have been living with tension, anger, disrespect or other highly charged emotions. For those families divorce may become an intervention. It changes the form of a family, but need not mean the end of that family from a child's eyes. Parents who

Parenting After Divorce

2 Crucial Gifts Your Child Needs From You After Your Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC One of the greatest challenges divorced parents face is adequately meeting their children’s needs during and after the divorce. While most parents pay lip service to focusing on the wellbeing of the children, sadly that’s not always the case. Divorcing and divorced parents can become overwhelmed by the emotional upheaval they are experiencing, especially if they don’t chose a positive divorce platform. After marinating in the anger, hurt, resentment, guilt, shame, blame and other conflicting emotions for so long, some lose their capacity to empathize with what their children are going through. Or they just stop caring. Other parents need parenting themselves. They don’t have the ability to put their own needs aside to address the turmoil they see in their children. More than ever before co-parents need to feel and show compassion for their children. So often kids are feeling frightened, confused, guilty, angry, ashamed

Parenting After Divorce

Made Divorce Mistakes? It’s Not Too Late To Get it Right – For Your Children!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Whether you got divorced several weeks ago or it’s been several years, most of us can acknowledge that we’ve made some mistakes. Perhaps we lost our tempers at an inappropriate time and watched our children painfully internalize the experience. Maybe we referred to our ex in a rather unflattering way only to find our child get very upset and storm away in anger. Chances are, in the heat of the divorce drama, we settled for a decision or two that we later regretted and still feel unsettled. Or we made a child-related agreement that, in hindsight, was not in our child’s best interest – but we don’t know quite how to remedy the situation. While some legal matters will involve only legal resolution, there are many post-divorce relationship decisions involving our children that we can remedy. And it’s never too late to make amends and get

Parenting After Divorce

Co-Parenting Success Is Based On A Healthy Mind-Set After Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Getting divorced and preparing for the responsibilities of co-parenting ahead? This facet of life after divorce can be enormously complex and challenging for several good reasons: Both parents are bringing the raw emotions resulting from the divorce into a new stage in their lives. Mom and Dad are also bringing previous baggage from the marriage – ongoing conflicts, serious disputes, differing styles of communication, unresolved issues and continual frustrations -- into the mix as they negotiate a co-parenting plan. Both parents are vying for the respect and love of the children – and are easily tempted to slant their parenting decisions in the direction that wins them popularity with the kids. Anger and resentment resulting from the divorce settlement can impact and influence levels of cooperation in the years to come. Parents may disagree about major issues ahead that weren’t part of the parenting dynamic in

Parenting After Divorce

Teens Taking Sides A Painful Consequence of Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC I received the following question which poses many challenges related to divorce and parenting. While there is never a one-size-fits-all answer to relationship questions, I’m sharing my response with you as a perspective worth considering. This may be useful to initiate conversations with your former spouse and children or for discussion with a therapist or divorce coach if you are seeing one. "I am divorced for a short while, after being separated for several years. My 16-year-old daughter is awful to me and she yells "I hate you" and even curses at me even in public. I am sure she blames me for leaving her mom, but my other two children (boys, one older and one younger) seem to be dealing with the divorce fine. My problem is that I have no control over discipline. I would never speak to anyone the way she speaks to

Parenting After Divorce

Parent/Child Communication – Even More Crucial After Divorce!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC It’s no secret that one of the biggest challenges a parent faces after divorce is staying in good communication with your children. Obviously all parents struggle with communication issues as their children grow, but children who have had their lives dramatically altered by separation or divorce need even more attention – and diligent observation by their parents. Children tend not to tell you when they are angry, resentful, confused, hurt or depressed. Instead they reflect their problems through their behavior – acting out or perhaps turning inward in ways that you have not experienced prior to the divorce. Here are some tips that most all professionals agree about as ways to encourage positive and productive communication between you and your children. Many of these are obvious or innate behaviors. However, others can easily be forgotten amid the challenges you are juggling in your own life on

Parenting After Divorce

6 Ways To Boost Connection To Your Kids ...

5 Mindset Keys To More Positive Co-Paren...

6 Key Questions When Children of Divorce...

5 Smart Ways To Strengthen Your Parent-C...

Divorcing Parents: Don’t See Divorce As

2 Crucial Gifts Your Child Needs From Yo...

Made Divorce Mistakes? It’s Not Too Late

Co-Parenting Success Is Based On A Healt...

Teens Taking Sides A Painful Consequence...

Parent/Child Communication – Even More C

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