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Child Centered Divorce
The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent
Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC
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Your Children Are Deeply Affected By You...

Your Children Are Deeply Affected By Your Emotions After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce can be devastating when you’re a parent. You can’t just crawl into a hole and grieve, rant or rage. You must still care for the well-being of your children. And sometimes this is a challenge that overwhelms, resulting in parents who can’t cope with the responsibilities of parenting. When this happens, your children pay a high price. And too often, the parents aren’t totally aware of how their kids are affected. It’s not always easy to remember that your children may be grieving as deeply as you are during and after divorce. It’s even more frightening for them because they were not responsible for the divorce. Nor are they responsible for the complex dynamics that led up to the split. Their fears are also compounded by apprehension about whether either parent will ever divorce them? And then, what will happen to them and their family

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Post-Divorce Parenting Over The Holidays...

Post-Divorce Parenting Over The Holidays: Protecting Your Kids!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC The holiday season can be especially difficult for children of divorce – especially during the first few years. Parents need to be diligent in creating new family traditions and activities designed to replace the memories of holidays past. These tips will help you give your kids a wonderful holiday season this year, despite changes to the family structure. Show Empathy and Compassion When talking to your children about the holidays, listen, and don’t lecture. Let them vent about their feelings, regrets and frustrations.  Acknowledge what they are expressing to you. Don’t refute or deny what they are saying. Instead, show compassionate understanding. Some kids will hold their feelings in  to protect you. Reassure them it’s okay to talk about their sadness or anxiety about what the holidays will be like this year. Remind your children that what they are feeling is okay and normal. Be there

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4 Keys To Rebuilding Your Self-Esteem Af...

4 Keys To Rebuilding Your Self-Esteem After Divorce
Rebuild your self-esteem after Divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce can be devastating on many levels. In addition to the financial and stress toll on both partners, it can easily wreak havoc on one’s self-esteem. Even those who initiate the divorce process can experience tremendous emotional turmoil. This can show up as guilt, anxiety and insecurity. Those who were not expecting or in any way desiring the break-up can be devastated. They come away feeling psychologically battered, confused and questioning their own worth. It’s hard to tackle these burdens alone. A support group, personal divorce coach, or therapist can be very helpful. They can remind you that you are not alone in your experiences or feelings. They can provide strategies for feeling more confident. And they can help you believe there is a brighter future ahead for you. Especially if you take proactive steps in that

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Balancing Boundaries & Privacy Issues As

Balancing Boundaries & Privacy Issues As Divorced Co-Parents
Balancing Boundaries & Privacy Issues as Divorced Co-Parents By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC After divorce most parents want to keep their private lives private. They don’t want the children sharing too many details about their visit time. This can create frustration for parents as they struggle to find balance in the privacy versus sharing equation. And there’s no simple solution. Often your co-parent may ask the kids not to tell you about what they did, ate or talked about during their visits. Yet, as a parent, it’s only natural to ask questions. To want to know how your kids spent their time. Handled compassionately, you can avoid needless conflict. Asking your children to “spy” on their other parent puts them in an awkward situation. They feel guilty, pressured and confused, especially if either parent tells them not to share specific information. This complex topic needs to be addressed between both parents. And should be agreed upon in

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Divorce or Separation During School Year...

Divorce or Separation During School Year Especially Tough on Children
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC  Many families experience separation or divorce as summer approaches, taking advantage of the school break to ease post-divorce transitions. There are many other families, however, that make the split during the school year. There are several reasons why this sometimes becomes a necessity. Many couples considering a divorce decide to wait until after the holidays to break the news to their children. Others wait to take advantage of year-end job bonuses. This can provide additional funds to cover attorney, moving and other related expenses. Still others are faced with unexpected circumstances which accelerate the decision to divorce. Regardless, it’s not the why that matters most at this time – it’s the how. How are these parents going to approach their separation or divorce – and how will it affect their innocent children? Compassionate, mindful decisions make all the difference! I, too, planned my separation mid-school year.

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Protecting You & Your Children From the

Protecting You & Your Children From the  Emotional Toll of Divorce!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce can be devastating when you’re a parent. You can’t just crawl into a hole and grieve, rant or rage. You must still care for the wellbeing of your children. And sometimes this challenge is so overwhelming parents fail to cope with the responsibilities of parenting. When that happens, your children pay a high price. And very often, you may not be fully aware of how your kids are affected. It’s not always easy to remember that your children may be grieving as deeply as you are during and after divorce. It’s even more frightening for them because they were not responsible for the divorce. Nor are they aware of the complex dynamics that led up to the split. Their fears are compounded by apprehension about whether either parent may   ever divorce them. They fear what will happen to them and their family in the future.

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Co-parenting Cooperatively So You Can Pr...

Co-parenting Cooperatively So You Can Protect Your Children!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry provides this advice. Children of divorce do best when both of their parents continue to be actively involved in their lives. It's the ongoing connection that makes the positive difference for children, minimizing the fact that their parents no longer live together. That's why co-parenting is so universally encouraged after divorce. It's a meaningful way to reduce the long-term emotional impact on children. Co-parenting styles and arrangements can differ widely from family to family to suit their individual needs. However, most all professionals agree that co-parenting will only succeed if some basic commitments are made. Equally important, significant mistakes must be avoided. Here are some good rules to follow: 1. Don't deny your child personal time with both of their parents. To help your child defeat the challenges and disruptions that come with divorce, remember this. Give them

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Dating After Divorce: Straight Answers ...

Dating After Divorce:  Straight Answers To 7 Challenging Questions!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC I applaud parents who are striving to create a Child-Centered Divorce. It's not always the easiest path, but it certainly is the most rewarding in the long-term for your children. It involves understanding and respecting your children's needs whenever you are making decisions about your own life. This includes all facets of co-parenting. It also moves into decisions about starting over and dating after divorce. As parents move beyond divorce and start thinking about the prospect of finding new relationships, there is much to take into account. When it comes to issues related to dating after divorce, here are some common questions I am asked and the advice I suggest. Is it ok to date when you're separated, or should you wait until you are legally divorced? It's always better to take some time to prepare yourself before starting to date - legally divorced or not.

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Co-Parenting After Divorce: 3 Crucial Qu...

Co-Parenting After Divorce: 3 Crucial Questions Every Parent Must Answer
Co-Parenting Positively After Divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Sadly, not every Family Law attorney is Child-Centered. Many are seriously too self-centered. They put their personal welfare before the wellbeing of the family caught up in the divorce. The outcome can be a higher conflict and higher cost divorce. Michael Matracci, Esq. is one of the "good guy" collaborative divorce attorneys who avidly supports the concept and principles of Child-Centered Divorce. He is the author of an excellent book I've been recommending for you. Fighting Over the Kids: Resolving Day-to-Day Custody Conflict in Divorce Situations can be found on Amazon and  his website at www.divorcewithoutdishonor.com. I had the pleasure of interviewing Michael, who is a divorced parent himself. He shared with me a valuable technique he uses when dealing with parenting issues with his former spouse. I loved the concept and am passing it along to you.

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Divorce Decisions & the Economy: No Excu

Divorce Decisions & the Economy: No Excuse For Irresponsible Parenting
Cooperative coparenting supports children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC  Is our down-turned economy having an effect on divorce in the U.S. and other nations around the world? While it’s too early for statistical evidence, many Marriage and Divorce professionals word-wide are in agreement. These are tough times. Professionals are seeing couples who were ready to call it quits postponing the divorce decision due to financial reasons. With food, clothing, vehicle, home and rental pricing at record highs, many are not divorcing because they can’t afford it. Does this mean couples are finding new ways to get along and reconsider their marriages? In some cases, yes. However, for others it just means adapting to ongoing states of unhappiness, disappointment and frustration. This, of course, does not bear well for their innocent children. They experience the negative consequences of a distressed marriage. The kids are affected whether the couple

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