MeetRosalind Sedacca, CCT Rosalind Sedacca is an author, an award-winning professional speaker, and Certified Corporate Trainer specializing in both communication and relationship issues. She has facilitated workshops and seminars throughout North America on creating 'conscious' relationships for both singles and couples. Based on her own personal experience, she wrote How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children - with Love! This internationally acclaimed ebook provides an innovative new approach to breaking the divorce news to your children and setting the stage for positive parenting ahead. At Rosalind's Child-Centered Divorce Network parents will find resources and tools to help them create successful outcomes for the entire family in the months, years and decades to come.
"Rosalind's book is unique in that it offers parents an innovative approach to having that difficult and usually dreaded initial conversation with their children and making it as positive and supportive as possible. A parent contemplating a divorce would be well served by reading this valuable book."
Raoul Felder,Celebrity Divorce Attorney
"Rosalind's brilliant book's non-judgmental, compassionate and no-nonsense approach will resonate with all divorcing parents – even those with the most challenging relationships. It is a critical piece of the divorce puzzle, and a must read!"
Cynthia Tiano, Esq."I highly recommend this as more than a book, but a tool to assist children to more successfully navigate the disorientation and maze that comes as part of divorce."
C. Paul Wanio, Ph.D., LMFT, LMHC"This hands-on interactive storybook is a must for all parents going through a divorce. It is a step-by-step guide for appropriately including children in the process. No parent should leave their home without it!"
Sally Goldberg, PhDCenter for Successful Children
"Rosalind Sedacca has invaluable information to share with divorcing parents. There is no other book a couple needs to help them with the most difficult conversation a parent can have with a child, that their parents are getting divorced. You are VERY lucky to have found my partner in the peaceful divorce movement."
Belinda Rachman, Esq"Rosalind Sedacca has just improved the lives of countless children. I have practiced divorce law for 44 years and will attest to the importance of how children are introduced to their parents' divorce. How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? gives us something simple and sound to rely upon. There is absolutely no downside to Rosalind's storybook concept. It's all good and it beats anything else that I've come across. In fact, it's great and it is definitely something that the world has needed. The book is a winner and it is also a lifesaver."
J. Richard Kulerski, Esq"Rosalind Sedacca has made a monumental contribution to self-help resources in an area that affects the lives of millions of men, women and children. After 32 years of counseling people in various stages of uncoupling, I can testify to the urgent need of a "how to" guide for people contemplating divorce. This book offers them a "life preserver." I have already referred my patients to this material and have received great feedback. I cannot recommend this book highly enough."
Beverly Gibel, LCSW, ACSW, BCD"Rosalind Sedacca's 'How Do I Tell the Kids about the DIVORCE?' is a much needed breakthrough in the emotional minefield that parents traverse when they prepare their children for an impending divorce. The template, storybook strategy sends sensitive, kind, loving and safe messages which every child needs as they prepare for the scary unknown. I recommend her book for everyone who has children and is contemplating divorce."
Jack Singer, Ph.D.Licensed Clinical & Forensic Psychologist, LCSW, ACSW, BCD
Archive for January, 2012
Two Challenges Your Children Face During & After Your Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
Whether your divorce is pending or five years behind you, your children continue to process the reality according to their age and level of understanding. There are several concepts that cause the most emotional turmoil for children. Being aware of these sensitive areas can help parents address these issues more effectively.
As your children age they may revisit your divorce with more questions, confusion or insecurity. That’s why it’s essential that you have answers ready based on a keen understanding of how children internalize a divorce – even long after it’s over.
There are two major concepts that can create the most emotional pain for children. The first has to do with blame and the second with unrealistic expectations. Here are some suggestions for handling these common challenges.
Children keep blaming themselves for the divorce – even after it’s over!
Regardless of what their parents may tell them, many children still believe they are the reason for their parent’s divorce. This is especially so if the children have heard their parents fighting about the kids and related parenting issues. It’s easy for a child to assume that if they had behaved better, fought less with their siblings, received better grades or helped more around the house, they could have prevented the subsequent divorce.
Your divorce may be long past, but some children still need to repeatedly hear the same message. It’s important to explain to them that divorce is always between Moms and Dads! Regardless of what they may have heard when their parents fought, children are never the cause of a divorce. Using age-appropriate language it’s valuable to explain to your children that there are many reasons why people divorce. Sometimes they may have grown apart. Or the love they once had for each other has changed. Often they just can’t agree about issues in their lives. You don’t have to go into specifics in your own circumstances. The important point to make is that Mom and Dad both love you very much. And one thing is for certain: The divorce was not and is not your fault. You did not cause our divorce and you are not in any way to blame!
Children keep trying to fix your divorce – even after it’s over!
One of the saddest consequences of a divorce is the pressure some children put upon themselves to fix the problem. Getting Mom and Dad back together is a huge emotional burdon that you don’t want your children to undertake. It’s a no-win situation that’s far beyond the capabilities of any child – even when they’re in their teens.
Nevertheless, many children invest time in wishing and trying to make everything okay and get both parents back home again. Part of their strategy may be trying to adjust their behavior so they never get scolded, striving for A’s at school and becoming the perfect child.
Some children take the opposite track. They create negative attention to distract Mom and Dad, hoping to side-track the divorce. By acting out, doing poorly in school, jumping onto drugs or other negative behaviors, their intention is to make the divorce go away by keeping their parents engaged in these other demanding issues.
Again, it’s valuable to address these behaviors head-on. Talk about your children’s feelings. Let them know you understand and acknowledge their right to be angry, frustrated, hurt, confused or ashamed about the divorce. Explain, as well, that they can’t behave their way into avoiding or postponing a divorce – or restoring a marriage following a divorce. The more both parents are in accord regarding the finality of the divorce and the messages they are conveying, the easier it will be for your children to accept the tough reality they may have been trying to avoid.
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Rosalind Sedacca, Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, is the author of the ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide for Preparing Your Children — with Love! The book helps parents create a unique personal family storybook that uses fill-in-the-blank templates to guide them through this difficult transition with optimum results. For Rosalind’s free articles, coaching services, book, free ezine and free ebook – Post-Divorce Parenting: Success Strategies for Getting It Right! visit http://www.childcentereddivorce.com.
© Rosalind Sedacca All rights reserved.
National Child-Centered Divorce Month Now International – in January When Divorce Rate is Highest
ИконописI’m excited to announce that National Child-Centered Divorce Month has now become International Child-Centered Divorce Month. In January, following the holiday season — when more divorces take place than any other month — parents and divorce professionals in nations around the world will gather together physically as well as digitally. Their purpose is to educate parents about how to prevent negative consequences for children during and after separation or divorce.
We will be sharing advice and insights to help parents make the best decisions regarding their children’s well-being when coping with divorce issues.
In cities around the world divorce experts will be announcing local educational events including workshops, discussion groups, coaching, interviews and other activities designed for divorced parents and those contemplating divorce.
In addition, during January parents are invited to access a variety of free teleclasses presented by “child-centered” divorce experts providing sound advice on divorce and parenting issues. (For details, click on Child-Centered Divorce Month button above!)
As an author, Relationship Coach and Certified Corporate Trainer who is recognized as The Voice of Child-Centered Divorce, I founded the Child-Centered Divorce Network for parents. I work closely with concerned divorce experts around the globe who are focused on creating the most positive and harmonious outcomes for families transitioning through divorce.
2012 is our 6th year in reaching out to divorcing as well as divorced parents. We want to discuss the painful consequences of parental alienation, encourage respectful co-parenting, teach effective communication skills, and guide parents away from litigation-based solutions. A divorced and later remarried parent, I am the author of the internationally-acclaimed ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children — with Love!
I am proud to be working with Dr. Dee Adio-Moses to bring International Child-Centered Divorce Month into nations on four continents. She is Founder of the Better Than Ever After Divorce World Healing Summit. Twenty-seven divorce experts from around the world participated in this free 12-week teleseminar series which ran from October through December. An ordained Minister, International Spiritual Teacher and Life Coach, Adio-Moses is originally from Nigeria and is now based in Atlanta, GA. She is the author of several books, including Live Again After Divorce, and shares my goal of facilitating healing and healthy decision-making following separation or divorce.
“By bringing the world’s legal, therapeutic and educational communities together we can reach parents with messages designed to encourage peaceful divorce outcomes,” says Dr. Dee.
Parents and divorce professionals interested in learning more about activities related to International Child-Centered Divorce Month can get involved by visiting my website at: www.childcentereddivorce.com. Click on the Child-Centered Divorce Month button. Or contact me directly at Rosalind@childcentereddivorce.com.
Dr. Dee Adio-Moses can be reached at http://www.healingcenterofchristinternational.org.
