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Child Centered Divorce
The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent
Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC
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Children Are Psychologically Damaged Whe...

Children Are Psychologically Damaged When Parents Fight
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC For years I’ve been pointing out to parents one clear message. Fighting around the children does more damage to them than their parents’ divorce. Serious emotional harm to the kids is avoided when parents handle divorce amicably. And when they put their children’s psychological needs top of mind when making all decisions. Many studies over several decades confirm this perspective. They show how and why children exposed to constant parental bickering are more likely to be depressed. They are also more prone to expressing other “problem behaviors,” including substance abuse, aggression and poor school grades. Not surprisingly these studies have revealed significant challenges for parents who are dealing with "money-related chronic stress." For those parents, relationships with their children were highly tense and lacking in intimacy. Add the stress related to divorce and the outcome for children exposed to this tension increases exponentially. When interviewed about

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5 Keys To Creating A Better Life After Y...

5 Keys To Creating A Better Life After Your Divorce!
parenting after divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Accepting the reality and finality of divorce can be a tough challenge. We need to be able to let go of the life we knew and prepare to face an unknown future. That can be intimidating. Here are 5 key steps to accepting your new reality with grace, peace and positive expectations for a happier life ahead. Especially if you’re also a parent! 1) Focus on yourself -- not on your former spouse We can’t ever undo the past. But the past can undo us -- if we’re not careful about our thoughts, beliefs and actions. The only one we can ever change is ourselves. Don’t waste valuable time pining about the past, blaming your ex or wishing you had done something differently. Focus instead on how you can transform yourself today into the person you most want to

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An Encouraging Message to Parents from T...

An Encouraging Message to Parents from The Voice of Child-Centered Divorce!
Rosalind Sedacca, CDC As The Voice of Child-Centered Divorce, my mission is to support parents and collaborate with divorce professionals in making the best decisions regarding the emotional and psychological effects of divorce on children.  I’m a divorced parent as well as a Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach. I’ve experienced all the insecurities, anger, fears and anxieties that come with divorce.  Like you, my primary concern was minimizing any negative effects on my child — not only in the months ahead, but in the decades to follow, too. I learned a lot about mistakes to avoid, smart steps to take and skills to learn — which I want to share with you – all on behalf of the children you love! So you can make the best decisions every step of the way.  Parents: Divorce Doesn't Have To Emotionally Scar Your Children I believe that it is not

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Child-Centered Custody Means Putting Dow...

Child-Centered Custody Means Putting Down the Boxing Gloves!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Over the past few years there has been a strong movement towards 50/50 post-divorce parenting arrangements. It’s often referred to as shared parenting. In many regards this approach to co-parenting may be the best custodial situation for most children of divorcing parents. I am a strong advocate of shared parenting. It worked very successfully in my own divorce. However, I do not believe it's the right or only answer for everyone. That’s because every situation is different when it comes to divorce. I don't believe legislation should be determining uniform custody outcomes for every family. These are issues that caring, conscious parents should be deciding together with only one goal in mind - the very best interest of their children. Unfortunately, too many parents approach this issue as adversaries. When child custody becomes a battle, everyone loses. Parents are pitted against each other and innocent children

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Divorcing or Divorced Parents: Why Janua...

Divorcing or Divorced Parents: Why January is such an important month for you!
FREE GIFTS & SUPPORT RESOURCES  -- from divorce and parenting experts around the world commemorating the 16th Annual International Child-Centered Divorce Month In the U.S. today nearly 4 out of 10 first marriages end in divorce. Even more significant, 60% of divorcing couples have children, resulting in more than one million kids each year experiencing the divorce of their parents. The consequence of parental divorce takes its toll on everyone in the family. An estimated 25 million children (36%) live apart from their biological father with about 26% of absentee fathers living in a different state than their kids. Close to 17 million children (25%) are living with their single mothers. It may come as no surprise that more divorces are initiated in January than in any other month. A large majority of parents wait until after the holiday season before breaking the divorce news to their children. For this

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Why YOU Should Resolve Your Parenting D...

Why YOU Should Resolve Your Parenting  Divorce Disputes – Not a Judge!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Family-focused divorce attorneys are passionate about keeping parents out of court when handling disputes over child custody. These lawyers know that long-term outcomes are better when the decisions are made by the parents themselves rather than left to the legal system. Most parents continue to co-parent their children after divorce. Except for circumstances where children are at risk, parents have the responsibility to put the their children first by working out a parenting plan that is in the children’s best interests. Here’s the key point to keep in mind. If you are unable to resolve your children’s issues with your co-parent, a judge will! There are some very good reasons to avoid that: 1. The custody evaluation process can humiliate, frighten and compromise your children, and cause them enduring emotional harm.  2. Custody cases are tremendously expensive. Parents must not only pay their own lawyers, but

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Post-Divorce Parenting Over The Holidays...

Post-Divorce Parenting Over The Holidays: Protecting Your Kids!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC The holiday season can be especially difficult for children of divorce – especially during the first few years. Parents need to be diligent in creating new family traditions and activities designed to replace the memories of holidays past. These tips will help you give your kids a wonderful holiday season this year, despite changes to the family structure. Show Empathy and Compassion When talking to your children about the holidays, listen, and don’t lecture. Let them vent about their feelings, regrets and frustrations.  Acknowledge what they are expressing to you. Don’t refute or deny what they are saying. Instead, show compassionate understanding. Some kids will hold their feelings in  to protect you. Reassure them it’s okay to talk about their sadness or anxiety about what the holidays will be like this year. Remind your children that what they are feeling is okay and normal. Be there

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4 Keys To Rebuilding Your Self-Esteem Af...

4 Keys To Rebuilding Your Self-Esteem After Divorce
Rebuild your self-esteem after Divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce can be devastating on many levels. In addition to the financial and stress toll on both partners, it can easily wreak havoc on one’s self-esteem. Even those who initiate the divorce process can experience tremendous emotional turmoil. This can show up as guilt, anxiety and insecurity. Those who were not expecting or in any way desiring the break-up can be devastated. They come away feeling psychologically battered, confused and questioning their own worth. It’s hard to tackle these burdens alone. A support group, personal divorce coach, or therapist can be very helpful. They can remind you that you are not alone in your experiences or feelings. They can provide strategies for feeling more confident. And they can help you believe there is a brighter future ahead for you. Especially if you take proactive steps in that

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Divorce or Separation During School Year...

Divorce or Separation During School Year Especially Tough on Children
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC  Many families experience separation or divorce as summer approaches, taking advantage of the school break to ease post-divorce transitions. There are many other families, however, that make the split during the school year. There are several reasons why this sometimes becomes a necessity. Many couples considering a divorce decide to wait until after the holidays to break the news to their children. Others wait to take advantage of year-end job bonuses. This can provide additional funds to cover attorney, moving and other related expenses. Still others are faced with unexpected circumstances which accelerate the decision to divorce. Regardless, it’s not the why that matters most at this time – it’s the how. How are these parents going to approach their separation or divorce – and how will it affect their innocent children? Compassionate, mindful decisions make all the difference! I, too, planned my separation mid-school year.

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Protecting You & Your Children From the

Protecting You & Your Children From the  Emotional Toll of Divorce!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce can be devastating when you’re a parent. You can’t just crawl into a hole and grieve, rant or rage. You must still care for the wellbeing of your children. And sometimes this challenge is so overwhelming parents fail to cope with the responsibilities of parenting. When that happens, your children pay a high price. And very often, you may not be fully aware of how your kids are affected. It’s not always easy to remember that your children may be grieving as deeply as you are during and after divorce. It’s even more frightening for them because they were not responsible for the divorce. Nor are they aware of the complex dynamics that led up to the split. Their fears are compounded by apprehension about whether either parent may   ever divorce them. They fear what will happen to them and their family in the future.

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