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Posts in category Child-Centered Divorce

Divorce Advice From Family & Fri...

Divorce Advice From Family & Friends – Don’t Take It!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC The Divorce/Separation Path Divorce by its very nature brings up lots of judgments. Most people have strong opinions about divorce, strongly influenced by their own experiences or the programming of their upbringing. You’re very unlikely to change anyone’s mind about the best way to handle divorce when you’re a parent. So don’t try. Your family and friends mean well. They want to support and help you through any crisis. But be aware that along with their support they bring their personal prejudices. These are weighed down by the baggage of judgments that inevitably color their advice. If you allow yourself to be influenced by the well-meant suggestions of these individuals, you may find yourself falling into a deep quagmire of confusion or even depression. No one walks in your shoes or has experienced your history. At the same time, most

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Divorcing Parents: Avoid Taking Your ...

Divorcing Parents: Avoid Taking Your Divorce Drama To Court
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT divorce consequences for families You’re getting divorced. It’s likely that one or both of you are angry, resentful, hurt, vindictive or any combination of other painful emotions. You want to lash out, to get back at your spouse or boost your own sense of esteem. Hiring the most aggressive litigious divorce lawyer you can find may seem like your smartest choice. Your ex is in for a fight! If you’re a parent who is thinking along those lines, you’re making a decision you may long regret. And so will your innocent children. If you choose a lawyer who directs you straight into a vicious court battle, the costs to you can be insurmountable – not only in financial outlay, but in emotional turmoil as well. Think long and hard before you move your divorce battle into the litigation system. It is likely

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3 Signs You’re Ready For A Divorce – ...

3 Signs You’re Ready For A Divorce – Especially If You’re A Parent!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce catches kids in the middle Is it ever right to consider divorce, especially if you’re a parent? Of course, divorce should be avoided whenever possible. It’s not a solution to marital problems. More like an escape hatch – with no guarantee of a happy ending. If you don’t master the art of fair fighting, using effective communication skills, showing empathy and compassion for the needs of your partner, divorce is not likely to be of value in your life. Chances are you’ll move on to another toxic relationship, bringing with you the same unresolved baggage and issues which are destined to lead to new discord with your new partner. That said, there are sigs that divorce might be the best option for a couple, especially if they are parents. These include: Irreconcilable Disrespect: If one or both partners reach a point

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Is It Parental Conflict – Or Divorce ...

Is It Parental Conflict – Or Divorce – That Most Damages Children?
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Parents Fighting Around Kids After Divorce So often I am asked: Is it divorce or parental discord that most damages children? More and more evidence points at the attitude of the parents being most influential on the outcome for innocent children. Numerous articles by marriage and family therapist Ruth Bettelheim address this topic in ways that are both relevant and, quite surprising for many. That’s because she refutes common misconceptions about divorce and addresses the real issues of concern. According to Bettelheim, “Studies conducted in the past 20 years have shown that on all meaningful measures of success -- social, economic, intellectual and psychological -- most adult children from divorced families are no worse off than their peers whose parents remained married.” Researchers have found two explanations for this, notes Bettelheim. “Children who have to cope with their parents’ separation and post-divorce

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Is There a “Gift” in Your Divorce? F...

Is There a “Gift” in Your Divorce?  Find the “Silver Lining” and You Will Flourish!
Find the reward in your divorce experience. By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When we are in the midst of life trauma, like a divorce, it is very difficult to experience anything but the pain, disappointment, hurt and anguish related to that experience. That’s only natural. But very often, in hindsight, we can find meaning, relevance, valuable lessons and insights that were the direct result of those major life challenges. Without that life-altering event we would not become the more resilient, more successful person we are today. Many people look upon that result as the “gift” they received from the experience – the wisdom they gleaned, the turning point they needed to move on to a new chapter in their lives. They look back and can say the lesson was tough, but they don’t regret it in the least. I believe divorce can be looked upon as one

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Divorced Parents: Keys For Coping Wit...

Divorced Parents: Keys For Coping With Anxiety And Guilt
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Children are affected by divorce Not surprisingly, guilt is often an integral part of the equation for parents coping with divorce. No parent wants their child to have to go through the turmoil of a parental divorce or separation. This is especially true for the parent initiating the divorce. Sometimes the internal battle over whether to move ahead with the divorce can go on for years before the final decision is made. Complicating matters is the anxiety connected to breaking the divorce news to children and fear of the consequences for each child. Often, parents don’t want to discuss the divorce after the initial conversation. It brings up anxiety about what our children will be saying and reluctance to hear feedback that will produce sadness, anger or guilt in us. In addition, it may also be difficult to listen to negative comments

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Recognizing Child-Centered Divorce Mo...

Recognizing Child-Centered Divorce Month in January:  An interview with Rosalind Sedacca
What is International Child-Centered Divorce Month? ICCD Month is dedicated to alerting parents about the effects of divorce on children – and how to prevent emotional and psychological damage to children during and after a divorce. January is International Child-Centered Divorce Month In recognition of International Child-Centered Divorce Month divorce experts around the world will be providing free ebooks, video programs, coaching services, teleseminars and other gifts to divorcing and divorced or separated parents throughout January. What is the purpose of ICCD Month? More divorces get initiated in January, following the holiday season, than in any other month. That’s why as a Divorce & Parenting Coach and founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, I chose January to commemorate International Child-Centered Divorce Month every year. ICCD Month is dedicated to alerting parents about the harm to their children when divorce isn’t handled effectively. Repeated studies show that

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Does Divorce Scar Children – Or Do Po...

Does Divorce Scar Children – Or Do Poor Parenting Choices Create All the Damage?
Rosalind Sedacca, CDC reveals the truth! Rosalind Sedacca, CDC More divorces are filed in January, following the holiday season, than in any other month. That’s why January is recognized as International Child-Centered Divorce Month. This year is our 10th Anniversary commemoration. I initiated ICCD Month as a Divorce & Parenting Coach, founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network and author of How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce.  Our goal is to educate parents about how to prevent negative consequences for children during and after separation or divorce. One of the most important questions I get asked by both clients and the media is: Does Divorce Really Scar Children?  My answer is NO! It’s how parents approach the divorce that does the damage. Parental Conflict is behind most of the Negative Effects On Our children. And that’s both good news and bad news. The good news:  Parents

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International Child-Centered Divorce ...

International Child-Centered Divorce Month Commemorates 10 Years  Helping Divorcing & Divorced Parents With Free Advice, Services & Other Resources!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC January is International Child-Centered Divorce Month This year we commemorate the 10th Anniversary of International Child-Centered Divorce Month. In recognition of International Child-Centered Divorce Month divorce experts around the world will be providing free ebooks, coaching services, teleseminars and other gifts to divorced parents throughout January. ICCD Month is dedicated to alerting parents about the effects of divorce on children – and how to prevent emotional and psychological damage to children during and after a divorce. Divorce attorneys, mediators, therapists, financial planners, coaches and other professionals on four continents will be participating. Their purpose is to promote peaceful divorce, cooperative co-parenting, and educating parents about how to prevent negative consequences for children affected by separation or divorce. More divorces get initiated in January, following the holiday season, than in any other month. That’s why as a Divorce & Parenting Coach and founder

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Finding the Best Divorce Attorney Whe...

Finding the Best Divorce Attorney When You’re a Divorcing Parent
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Choosing the best divorce lawyer for you is a major decision for anyone facing this life-altering reality. However, when you’re a parent, the decision is far more complex and significant. In our culture divorce is looked upon as a legal battle between two parties with opposing sides. Legal battles are about “winning,” which means all effort goes toward not “losing.” Sadly, parental divorce is more than the dissolution of a marital contract. It’s a highly emotional experience that deeply affects everyone in the family. Not all divorce attorneys approach divorce in the same manner. When you’re a parent you must not only protect yourself and your financial interests, but your children as well. If you hire a divorce litigator, whose primary focus is “winning” through the courts, you are exposing yourself and your children to lengthy periods of stress, heightened conflict and the loss of power

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Parenting Beyond Divorce
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