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Posts in category Child-Centered Divorce

A resource all parents can turn to before, during and after divorce (or separation) for support, expert advice, tools and networking focused on creating an environment in which their children’s physical, emotional and spiritual needs come first when making family decisions.

Are Your Kids Paying The Price For Yo...

Are Your Kids Paying The Price For Your Difficult Divorce? How Not To Sabotage Your Divorce For the Sake of the Kids!
Parents Fighting Around Kids After Divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Most people believe belive that it’s divorce itself that scars children. But the real truth is HOW PARENTS HANDLE THE DIVORCE IS WHAT DOES THE MOST DAMAGE!  Know that, I faced a lot of skepticism, from both the media and from parents, when I started my work as Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network.  There were gender battles between mothers and fathers – each side accusing the other of being damaging to the wellbeing of the children.  There were sweeping generalizations about the impact of divorce on children – with cultural and religious contention that divorce was bad and staying together for the sake of the kids was somehow morally superior!  I fought those battels on TV, radio, blogs, magazine articles and social media – and slowly found support and strong endorsements from experts around the

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Shared Parenting v. Equal Parenting: ...

Shared Parenting v. Equal Parenting: 5 Ways the New Laws Will Hurt Kids
Guest Post by Karen Covey Children affected by Divorce The story is all too familiar. The kids stand on the front steps, consumed by sadness. They watch their father walk toward the car. Silent tears roll down their cheeks while their dad gets in the car and drives away. As soon as he’s out of view, he chokes up and pulls over. He doesn’t want to lose his kids. But shared parenting seems like an impossible dream. It’s scenes like this one that have fueled the Father’s Rights movement. Over the past few decades, Father’s Rights advocates have slowly been chipping away at the assumption that mothers should always have sole custody of the kids in divorce. For years, fathers have been fighting to have an equal say in how their kids are raised. They have fought to get more time with their kids. Now, they’re

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Why YOU Should Resolve Child-Related...

Why YOU Should Resolve  Child-Related Divorce Disputes – Not a Judge!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Family-focused divorce attorney Larry Sarezky is passionate about keeping parents out of court when handling disputes over child custody. Based on decades of experience Larry knows that long-term outcomes work out better when the decisions are made by the parents themselves rather than left to the legal system. Most parents continue to co-parent their children after divorce. Except for circumstances where children are at risk, Larry strongly emphasizes that parents have the responsibility to put the their children first by working out a parenting plan that is in the children’s best interests. Larry’s message: If you are unable to resolve children’s issues with your co-parent, a judge will. There are some very good reasons to avoid that: The custody evaluation process can humiliate, frighten and compromise your children, and cause them enduring emotional harm. Custody cases are tremendously expensive. Parents must not only pay their own

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Is It Divorce – Or Parental Conflict ...

Is It Divorce – Or Parental Conflict – That Most Damages Children?
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce catches kids in the middle So often I am asked: Is it divorce or parental discord that most damages children? More and more evidence points at the attitude of the parents being most influential on the outcome for innocent children. Many studies I've read about over the past decade all come to the agreement that children are more negatively impacted by parental conflict than by divorce itself.  Numerous articles by marriage and family therapist Ruth Bettelheim address this topic in ways that are both relevant and, quite surprising for many. That’s because she refutes common misconceptions about divorce and addresses the real issues of concern. According to Bettelheim, “Studies conducted in the past 20 years have shown that on all meaningful measures of success -- social, economic, intellectual and psychological -- most adult children from divorced families are no worse off

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5 Reasons Why Bad Marriages are Worse...

5 Reasons Why Bad Marriages are Worse for Kids Than Divorce
Staying together for the kids. Is this a selfless gesture that puts your children first, or is it more damaging to your child’s psyche than if you were to separate? Here’s a piece of divorce advice: staying together for the children isn’t always noble. Your marriage is the first example of love and partnership that your kids see, and how you treat your partner plays an important role in how your child views relationships in the future. This means if your relationship is healthy, your child will grow up with a great view of partnership. But if your relationship is troubled, it may do harm to their emotional and mental wellbeing. Are you staying in your marriage for the benefit of your children? Here are 5 reasons why bad marriages are worse for kids than divorce. Constant Tension and Unease  Many parents want to stay in their unhappy marriages for

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Divorced Parents: Compassionate Commu...

Divorced Parents: Compassionate Communication With Your kids Is  Crucial For a Happier Outcome!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC During and after divorce your children may be hyper-sensitive about many things. What may have formerly been routine conversations, questions or activities can now be touchy subjects fraught with anxiety, resentment or ager. This is understandable when you consider that the stability of the world they knew has been dramatically altered. Minor insecurities can easily grow into major problems. Children may regress in their behaviors and skills, become more clinging – or more aloof – depending on their adaptability and perspective about the divorce. This is a time to master the art of good parent/child ommunication so you can reinforce or rebuild trust, security and confidence that things will be okay again – despite the changes inflicted by your divorce. Here are some solid tips for more effective communication with your children. Master them today and they will work on your behalf for years and years ahead.   Keep your conversations private – at times when

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Divorcing Parents: Be the Role Model ...

Divorcing Parents: Be the Role Model You Want Your Kids To Be
By Rosalind Sedacca I recently came upon this quote from British blogger, David Bly: “Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be.” Basically that’s the best advice anyone can give any parent. It’s especially relevant when faced with challenging times, such as your divorce. It’s estimated that 40% of our children will experience the divorce of their parents. The outcome is not the same for all children or all families. That’s why it’s so important for parents facing divorce to understand that every decision you make has consequences that affect your children as well as your own well-being for years and decades to come. As a Divorce & Parenting Coach I’ve found that many parents are short-sighted when it comes to understanding the effects of divorce on their children. They don’t understand that emotional wounds in childhood lead to behaviors in the teen years

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What You Don’t Know About Divor...

What You Don’t Know About Divorcing As a Parent That Can Hurt Your Kids!
Divorce catches kids in the middle January is International Child-Centered Divorce Month – a time when divorce filings are highest: after the holidays at the start of the New Year. In recognition of ICCD Month, international Divorce Coach, author and trainer, Rosalind Sedacca, CDC, has gathered family-focused divorce professionals throughout world to give away complimentary ebooks, courses, videos, coaching services and other valuable tools to help parents:   Make the best decisions regarding your children before, during and long after divorce. Avoid serious mistakes that negatively impact your children Learn how divorce affects children at different ages and stages Understand divorce options to choose the best course of action for both parents and children. With more than one million children impacted by divorce each year, why focus on Child-Centered Divorce in January? 5 Things You Don’t Know About Divorcing As a Parent That Can Hurt Your Kids!

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Divorcing or Divorced Parents: Why Ja...

Divorcing or Divorced Parents: Why January is such an important month for you!
January is International Child-Centered Divorce Month Join experts in commemorating Child-Centered Divorce Month In the U.S. today nearly 4 out of 10 first marriages end in divorce. Even more significant, 60% of divorcing couples have children, resulting in more than one million kids each year experiencing the divorce of their parents. The consequence of parental divorce takes its toll on everyone in the family. An estimated 25 million children (36%) live apart from their biological father with about 26% of absentee fathers living in a different state than their kids. Close to 17 million children (25%) are living with their single mothers. It may come as no surprise that more divorces are initiated in January than in any other month. A large majority of parents wait until after the holiday season before breaking the divorce news to their children. For this reason the Child-Centered Divorce Network

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Interview with Rosalind Sedacca, CDC ...

Interview with Rosalind Sedacca, CDC — Founder of the  Child-Centered Divorce Network
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, Founder of Child-Centered Divorce Networki What is a Child-Centered Divorce – and how is that different from more typical divorces? Unfortunately, too many parents approach divorce as adversaries. When child custody becomes a battle, everyone loses. Parents are pitted against each other and innocent children inevitably pay the price. When custodial decisions move into contention, creating a scenario where lawyers, legislation and courts determine the direction of your children’s future, you not only lose power in your life, you lose harmony within your already fragile family structure. When you create a Child-Centered Divorce, your children win – on every level because you put their real needs first and foremost. Parents who make a concerted effort to sit down with each other and discuss the future wellbeing of their kids together, keep their perspective where it really belongs – on the children. Most parents

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Parenting Beyond Divorce
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Dating again? Rosalind Sedacca shares valuable tips for success: NEW 10-week Dating Rescue! eCourse for Women

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