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Child Centered Divorce
The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent
Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC
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Divorcing or Divorced Parents: Why Janua...

Divorcing or Divorced Parents: Why January is such an important month for you!
FREE GIFTS & SUPPORT RESOURCES  -- from divorce and parenting experts around the world commemorating the 16th Annual International Child-Centered Divorce Month In the U.S. today nearly 4 out of 10 first marriages end in divorce. Even more significant, 60% of divorcing couples have children, resulting in more than one million kids each year experiencing the divorce of their parents. The consequence of parental divorce takes its toll on everyone in the family. An estimated 25 million children (36%) live apart from their biological father with about 26% of absentee fathers living in a different state than their kids. Close to 17 million children (25%) are living with their single mothers. It may come as no surprise that more divorces are initiated in January than in any other month. A large majority of parents wait until after the holiday season before breaking the divorce news to their children. For this

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Why YOU Should Resolve Your Parenting D...

Why YOU Should Resolve Your Parenting  Divorce Disputes – Not a Judge!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Family-focused divorce attorneys are passionate about keeping parents out of court when handling disputes over child custody. These lawyers know that long-term outcomes are better when the decisions are made by the parents themselves rather than left to the legal system. Most parents continue to co-parent their children after divorce. Except for circumstances where children are at risk, parents have the responsibility to put the their children first by working out a parenting plan that is in the children’s best interests. Here’s the key point to keep in mind. If you are unable to resolve your children’s issues with your co-parent, a judge will! There are some very good reasons to avoid that: 1. The custody evaluation process can humiliate, frighten and compromise your children, and cause them enduring emotional harm.  2. Custody cases are tremendously expensive. Parents must not only pay their own lawyers, but

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Post-Divorce Parenting Over The Holidays...

Post-Divorce Parenting Over The Holidays: Protecting Your Kids!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC The holiday season can be especially difficult for children of divorce – especially during the first few years. Parents need to be diligent in creating new family traditions and activities designed to replace the memories of holidays past. These tips will help you give your kids a wonderful holiday season this year, despite changes to the family structure. Show Empathy and Compassion When talking to your children about the holidays, listen, and don’t lecture. Let them vent about their feelings, regrets and frustrations.  Acknowledge what they are expressing to you. Don’t refute or deny what they are saying. Instead, show compassionate understanding. Some kids will hold their feelings in  to protect you. Reassure them it’s okay to talk about their sadness or anxiety about what the holidays will be like this year. Remind your children that what they are feeling is okay and normal. Be there

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4 Keys To Rebuilding Your Self-Esteem Af...

4 Keys To Rebuilding Your Self-Esteem After Divorce
Rebuild your self-esteem after Divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce can be devastating on many levels. In addition to the financial and stress toll on both partners, it can easily wreak havoc on one’s self-esteem. Even those who initiate the divorce process can experience tremendous emotional turmoil. This can show up as guilt, anxiety and insecurity. Those who were not expecting or in any way desiring the break-up can be devastated. They come away feeling psychologically battered, confused and questioning their own worth. It’s hard to tackle these burdens alone. A support group, personal divorce coach, or therapist can be very helpful. They can remind you that you are not alone in your experiences or feelings. They can provide strategies for feeling more confident. And they can help you believe there is a brighter future ahead for you. Especially if you take proactive steps in that

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Divorce or Separation During School Year...

Divorce or Separation During School Year Especially Tough on Children
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC  Many families experience separation or divorce as summer approaches, taking advantage of the school break to ease post-divorce transitions. There are many other families, however, that make the split during the school year. There are several reasons why this sometimes becomes a necessity. Many couples considering a divorce decide to wait until after the holidays to break the news to their children. Others wait to take advantage of year-end job bonuses. This can provide additional funds to cover attorney, moving and other related expenses. Still others are faced with unexpected circumstances which accelerate the decision to divorce. Regardless, it’s not the why that matters most at this time – it’s the how. How are these parents going to approach their separation or divorce – and how will it affect their innocent children? Compassionate, mindful decisions make all the difference! I, too, planned my separation mid-school year.

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Protecting You & Your Children From the

Protecting You & Your Children From the  Emotional Toll of Divorce!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce can be devastating when you’re a parent. You can’t just crawl into a hole and grieve, rant or rage. You must still care for the wellbeing of your children. And sometimes this challenge is so overwhelming parents fail to cope with the responsibilities of parenting. When that happens, your children pay a high price. And very often, you may not be fully aware of how your kids are affected. It’s not always easy to remember that your children may be grieving as deeply as you are during and after divorce. It’s even more frightening for them because they were not responsible for the divorce. Nor are they aware of the complex dynamics that led up to the split. Their fears are compounded by apprehension about whether either parent may   ever divorce them. They fear what will happen to them and their family in the future.

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Co-Parenting After Divorce: 3 Crucial Qu...

Co-Parenting After Divorce: 3 Crucial Questions Every Parent Must Answer
Co-Parenting Positively After Divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Sadly, not every Family Law attorney is Child-Centered. Many are seriously too self-centered. They put their personal welfare before the wellbeing of the family caught up in the divorce. The outcome can be a higher conflict and higher cost divorce. Michael Matracci, Esq. is one of the "good guy" collaborative divorce attorneys who avidly supports the concept and principles of Child-Centered Divorce. He is the author of an excellent book I've been recommending for you. Fighting Over the Kids: Resolving Day-to-Day Custody Conflict in Divorce Situations can be found on Amazon and  his website at www.divorcewithoutdishonor.com. I had the pleasure of interviewing Michael, who is a divorced parent himself. He shared with me a valuable technique he uses when dealing with parenting issues with his former spouse. I loved the concept and am passing it along to you.

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Divorce Decisions & the Economy: No Excu

Divorce Decisions & the Economy: No Excuse For Irresponsible Parenting
Cooperative coparenting supports children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC  Is our down-turned economy having an effect on divorce in the U.S. and other nations around the world? While it’s too early for statistical evidence, many Marriage and Divorce professionals word-wide are in agreement. These are tough times. Professionals are seeing couples who were ready to call it quits postponing the divorce decision due to financial reasons. With food, clothing, vehicle, home and rental pricing at record highs, many are not divorcing because they can’t afford it. Does this mean couples are finding new ways to get along and reconsider their marriages? In some cases, yes. However, for others it just means adapting to ongoing states of unhappiness, disappointment and frustration. This, of course, does not bear well for their innocent children. They experience the negative consequences of a distressed marriage. The kids are affected whether the couple

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4 Ways Parental Anger and Conflict Harm ...

4 Ways Parental Anger and Conflict Harm Children of Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Does parental anger affect children of divorce? Studies repeatedly show that fighting around the children does more damage to them than divorce itself. That’s why as parents we need to be diligent in monitoring our children as well as our own behavior. So, we can safeguard our kids from emotional and psychological damage. Exposure to conflict can change a child’s self-image and sense of security. It impacts their concept of the world and their ability to trust others. The consequences can last a lifetime. A study published in the Journal of Research on Adolescence* shows that children exposed to constant parental bickering are more likely to be depressed. They are also more prone to expressing other “problem behaviors,” including substance abuse, aggression and poor school grades. Some children regress back to bed-wetting, thumb sucking or limiting social contact. Others move into bullying, acting out and thoughts

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Parents: 5 Crucial Tips For Talking To K...

Parents: 5 Crucial Tips For Talking To Kids  During & After Divorce
Communication with your child is essential. By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC During and after divorce your children may be hypersensitive about many things. What may have formerly been routine conversations are no longer that. Questions or activities can now be touchy subjects fraught with anxiety, resentment or ager. This is understandable when you consider that the stability of the world they knew has been dramatically altered. Minor insecurities can easily grow into major problems. Children may regress in their behaviors and skills. They may become more clinging, aggressive or more aloof – depending on their adaptability and perspective about the divorce. This is a time to master the art of good parent/child communication. Time to reinforce or rebuild trust, security and confidence that things will be okay again despite the changes inflicted by your divorce. Here are some solid tips for more effective communication with your children.

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