Parenting After Divorce Archives - Child-Centered Divorce

Divorced Parents: Never “Guilt” Your Kid

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all know that one of the biggest divorced parent “don’ts” is putting down or disrespecting your children’s other parent to them. Clearly, while it’s tempting to badmouth your co-parcoment for the way they’ve hurt you in the marriage, venting to the kids puts them in a very uncomfortable position. They love both of their parents and don’t want to hear from you about the ways your ex misbehaved or initiated your divorce. There’s another element in this conversation that doesn’t get as much attention – but certainly needs to be addressed. And that’s the “guilt factor.” It’s based on your forbidding or discouraging your children from expressing love or talking about their other parent around you. Kids naturally want to talk about their lives. They like to share things they might have done with their other parent, especially the fun times. Very often our expressions,

Parenting After Divorce

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5 Keys To Help Your Kids Transition Between Post-Divorce Homes

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Parenting plans and contact schedules are an important part of divorce proceedings. They help create a semblance of routine in this new chapter of family life for divorcing parents. And for the children you love. I am a strong believer in co-parenting whenever possible to serve the best interest of your children. But not all couples can work together with civility and harmony. So sometimes parallel parenting becomes the plan. That usually translates into you both parent the children but with minimum communication between one another. Keep in mind that your kids pick up on the emotional energy around their parents. It's no surprise that life after divorce is smoother and easier when both parents behave maturely and responsibly. However you work out your shared parenting plan, it’s the day-to-day challenges of post-divorce life that puts all co-parents to the test. Here are 5 important

Parenting After Divorce

5 Steps To Moving On After Divorce Based On Parental Awareness & Acceptance

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC What’s holding you back from moving on after your divorce? Are there constructive steps you can take to transition into the better life you desire and certainly deserve? Here are some important points to consider and take action on. They will enable you to create a healthier, more gratifying new chapter in your life – for you and your children. LET GO OF THE NEGATIVE If you truly want to move on from your divorce you must learn to let go of negative emotions that hold you hostage. These include anger, resentment, blame, jealousy, hatred and anxiety. Of course, there is a time and place for experiencing those emotions. Feel them; mourn the dream that turned sour. Then make a decision to let them go. Do this for your benefit – not on behalf of your former spouse. Negative emotions can hold you in limbo and

Parenting After Divorce

Your Children Are Deeply Affected By Your Emotions After Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce can be devastating when you’re a parent. You can’t just crawl into a hole and grieve, rant or rage. You must still care for the well-being of your children. And sometimes this is a challenge that overwhelms, resulting in parents who can’t cope with the responsibilities of parenting. When this happens, your children pay a high price. And too often, the parents aren’t totally aware of how their kids are affected. It’s not always easy to remember that your children may be grieving as deeply as you are during and after divorce. It’s even more frightening for them because they were not responsible for the divorce. Nor are they responsible for the complex dynamics that led up to the split. Their fears are also compounded by apprehension about whether either parent will ever divorce them? And then, what will happen to them and their family

Parenting After Divorce

Balancing Boundaries & Privacy Issues as Divorced Co-Parents By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC After divorce most parents want to keep their private lives private. They don’t want the children sharing too many details about their visit time. This can create frustration for parents as they struggle to find balance in the privacy versus sharing equation. And there’s no simple solution. Often your co-parent may ask the kids not to tell you about what they did, ate or talked about during their visits. Yet, as a parent, it’s only natural to ask questions. To want to know how your kids spent their time. Handled compassionately, you can avoid needless conflict. Asking your children to “spy” on their other parent puts them in an awkward situation. They feel guilty, pressured and confused, especially if either parent tells them not to share specific information. This complex topic needs to be addressed between both parents. And should be agreed upon in

Parenting After Divorce

Co-parenting Cooperatively So You Can Protect Your Children!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry provides this advice. Children of divorce do best when both of their parents continue to be actively involved in their lives. It's the ongoing connection that makes the positive difference for children, minimizing the fact that their parents no longer live together. That's why co-parenting is so universally encouraged after divorce. It's a meaningful way to reduce the long-term emotional impact on children. Co-parenting styles and arrangements can differ widely from family to family to suit their individual needs. However, most all professionals agree that co-parenting will only succeed if some basic commitments are made. Equally important, significant mistakes must be avoided. Here are some good rules to follow: 1. Don't deny your child personal time with both of their parents. To help your child defeat the challenges and disruptions that come with divorce, remember this. Give them

Parenting After Divorce

What If Your Kids Resist Divorce Visits With Their Other Parent?

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Parenting after divorce is always challenging, especially when your children act out. One big issue is handling children if they resist visitation with their other parent. Many factors come into play when this occurs. Here are some questions to ask yourself which can help you determine the source of the problem. They’ll also help you understand the reasons why your children are resisting post-divorce contact with their other parent. For simplification purposes, I’m using Dad as the example. However, this happens to fathers and mothers alike depending on their prior and post-divorce relationships. Questions for parental self-reflection Are the kids feeling guilty or disloyal when leaving your presence? This can easily influence their feelings toward spending time with their Dad. Have they been privy to information, slurs or other comments that make them dislike their Dad? Do they hear you complain about him to family or

Parenting After Divorce

Divorced? 5 Valuable Life Lessons to Master Now

parenting after divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce affects everyone differently and its impact lingers with us for different periods of time. But there’s one thing that never changes: the aftermath of divorce can be a sense of self-discovery or internment in a self-made prison of depression and resentment. What influences us the most is how well we accept what is and our determination to use the divorce as a pathway to a new and better life. The good news: it’s all up to us. We can create an attitude of positive expectation or we can subjugate ourselves to months and years of self-pity and despair down the road. The bad news: it’s not always easy to change our attitude or perspective on life. But if you do, you’ll be rewarded with a happier future for yourself as well as your children. Here are some vital

Parenting After Divorce

Co-Parenting With An Addict After Divorce: Advice For Both Parents!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Getting divorced and then co-parenting is especially challenging for parents who are coping with addiction issues. Or find themselves co-parenting with an addict. This is even more complicated if one or both parents are not fully dependable, trustworthy or responsible. 6 Challenges That Complicate the Co-Parenting Experience Difficulties can be compounded by the many issues all parents face following a divorce. This includes one or both parents … 1) Giving the raw emotions resulting from the divorce an active voice in this new stage in their lives. 2) Bringing previous baggage from the marriage into play. Ongoing conflicts, differing styles of communication, unresolved issues and continual frustrations can hinder negotiating a co-parenting plan. 3) Vying for the respect and love of the children. It can be tempting to make parenting decisions in ways that win them popularity with the kids. 4) Letting anger and resentment

Parenting After Divorce

Divorced Parents: Communicate Compassionately With Your Kids For a Happier Outcome!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC During and after divorce your children may be hyper-sensitive about many things. What may have formerly been routine conversations, questions or activities can now be touchy subjects fraught with anxiety, resentment or ager. This is understandable when you consider that the stability of the world they knew has been dramatically altered. Minor insecurities can easily grow into major problems. Children may regress in their behaviors and skills. Some become more clinging – others more aloof – depending on their adaptability and perspective about the divorce. This is the time to focus on good parent/child communication. You can reinforce or rebuild trust, security and confidence that things will be okay again – despite the changes inflicted by your divorce. Here are some solid tips for more effective communication with your children. Master them today and they will work on your behalf for years and

Parenting After Divorce

Divorced Parents: Never “Guilt” Your Kid

5 Keys To Help Your Kids Transition Betw...

5 Steps To Moving On After Divorce Based...

Your Children Are Deeply Affected By You...

Balancing Boundaries & Privacy Issues As

Co-parenting Cooperatively So You Can Pr...

What If Your Kids Resist Divorce Visits ...

Divorced? 5 Valuable Life Lessons to Mas...

Co-Parenting With An Addict After Divorc...

Divorced Parents: Communicate Compassion...

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