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Child Centered Divorce

The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent

Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC

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Overcome Holiday Depression During and A...

Overcome Holiday Depression During and After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Separated or  divorced? Thanksgiving, Christmas – most any holiday -- can be depressing. Or bring up painful memories of happier times, especially if you have children. So, what can you do? Keep in mind that with the pain comes a choice. You can choose to acknowledge the past for what it was. You can value the good times you might have had together. Then you can choose to move on and let go. Yes, that’s never easy. But it is worth the effort. Because otherwise you’re likely to get stuck tormenting yourself with all the "shoulds."  We should still be a family today. He should be ashamed of what he's doing to us. She shouldn’t be able to have the kids on Christmas Day. I should be over this by now. It should be easier for me to move on – why isn’t it? You get

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Disciplining Children Through Divorce By...

Disciplining Children Through Divorce By Limiting Behavior — Not Their Thoughts!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Discipline is always a challenge for parents. Regardless of the age your child may be, they inevitably find ways to act out, challenge your authority and test the limits of their boundaries. Often these behaviors create tension and disagreements between both parents which children are good at exploiting to their advantage. This, of course, is the time for parents to forge a solid bond of agreement regarding their approach to discipline. If they do, the child is less likely to test the waters and more likely to alter their behavior into more appropriate channels. When separation or divorce takes place, disciplining children can become even more difficult. This is especially so if both parents are not on good terms regarding the parenting equation. Parental discord can open the door for children to move into behavioral extremes, pitting you and your former spouse against each other. We've

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Divorced Parents: Made Mistakes You Regr...

Divorced Parents: Made Mistakes You Regret? It’s Not Too Late To Make It Right!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce drives some people crazy. Because of that, divorced co-parents often make many poor decisions. Their judgment, integrity and behavior are easy to question. Their decisions regarding taking responsibility for their children come under scrutiny. There is much we can all learn from these mistakes as co-parents. And wisdom we can take away that is important for all of us to remember: It’s never too late to get it right – when your children are at stake! We all have regrets … In the heat of the divorce drama, we may have settled for a decision or two that we later regretted and still feel resentful. Or we made a child-related agreement that, in hindsight, was not in our child’s best interest – but we don’t know quite how to remedy the situation. Perhaps we lost our tempers at an inappropriate time and watched our children

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Divorced Parents: Don’t Let Your Childre

Divorced Parents: Don’t Let Your Children Start Parenting You!
Divorce catches kids in the middle By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce is tough enough. When children try to protect their parents by parenting their parents, the parenting is moving backwards and the results are devastating. Always be careful of what you share with your children regarding your own emotional state during and after your divorce. It can create enormous confusion for your children, along with guilt, frustration and despair. Children can be very resourceful in how they behave when they sense either one of their parents is vulnerable or hurting. Often they will side with one parent over the other as a means of support. They may fear that expressing happiness about time spent with one parent can seem like a betrayal of the other. They worry about hurting the feelings of the emotionally weaker parent – or experiencing the disapproval of the emotionally stronger parent.

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5 Divorce Co-Parenting Questions Your Ki...

5 Divorce Co-Parenting Questions Your Kids Want You To Explore
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Co-parenting brings enormous challenges to both parents. For those not caught in high conflict divorces, it’s easier to move into the co-parenting equation. And much easier to adapt to new schedules, boundaries, agreements and conversations. That’s why the Child-Centered Divorce Network so strongly endorses mediation, Collaborative Divorce, the new Amicable Divorce Network and similar low-conflict options. They keep both parents focused on what really matters long-term: the emotional, physical and psychological well-being of your children! When one gets entangled in the complications of litigation, you are opening the door to court involvement in your family dynamics. This is rarely a healthy situation for parents or children. No judge, regardless of how well-meaning they may be, knows your family the way you do. Their decisions are binding. That may lead you to countless  appearances over many years trying to untangle a decision that didn’t need to be

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6 Tips For Talking To Your Kids After Di...

6 Tips For Talking To Your Kids After Divorce!
Divorced parent communication with your child is essential. By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When you’re a divorced parent, effective communication with your children is more important than ever. Which means honing your communication skills so you’re connecting with love, respect and compassion. Candid divorced parent communication opens the doors to a healthier, more positive relationship with your kids. It makes you more sensitive to issues of concern early on so you can nip them in the bud. It encourages your children to talk about what they are feeling. It addresses their questions and situations that are creating conflict for them. How to open the conversation so you’re not shut down! Don’t sit down and say, let’s talk. Find comfortable times and places where conversation can flow naturally and easily. Then bring up related subjects in a casual way. Watching TV or movies at home can often be

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9 Ways Divorcing Parents Can Support The...

9 Ways Divorcing Parents Can Support Their Kids With Love
Cooperative coparenting supports children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC As a divorcing parent are you worried about your kids? Most parents share a deep love for their children – along with the desire to protect them from emotional or physical harm. However, when the sanctity of the marriage is disrupted by divorce, things can dramatically change. Divorcing parents don’t always know how to give kids the support they need. Caught up in their own anger and hurt, it’s tempting to lash out, get back at their former partner, and take revenge. Too often, the children are caught in a parental power struggle. Collateral damage when parents vent their frustration or rage. The outcome is painful for everyone in the family! Children crave and need their parent’s support So how can you support your children and parent them effectively throughout this challenging time? And how can you co-parent

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5 Crucial Steps Helping Divorced Parents...

5 Crucial Steps Helping Divorced Parents Move On
  By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC  1.  DECIDE TO LET GO If you truly want to move on from your divorce you must learn to let go of negative emotions that hold you hostage. That includes anger, resentment, blame, jealousy, hatred and anxiety. Of course, there is a time and place for experiencing those emotions. Allow yourself to feel them – to mourn the dream that turned sour. Then make a decision to let them go. Do this for your benefit – not on behalf of your former spouse. Negative emotions can hold you in limbo and suck the life out of you. You get stuck in a place that’s painful to experience and it makes you unpleasant to be around. For the sake of your children – if not for yourself – decide to let it all go. Determine to move on. Yes, it’s not always easy to do, but

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Grandparents Can Help Grandchildren Bett...

Grandparents Can Help Grandchildren Better Adjust To Divorce Challenges!
Grandparents - grandchildren - affected by divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Grandparents are often caught in the tensions between parents during and long after a   divorce. While they’re eager to help, many grandparents are confused about overstepping boundaries. They want to play a part in easing the pain, confusion and other emotional issues that may be affecting their innocent grandkids. Since every divorce is unique, there are no cookie-cutter solutions that do the trick. But here are some guidelines to keep in mind, especially in regards to being there for your grandchildren. If you haven’t been close to the kids beforehand, post-divorce is a difficult time to develop a relationship. But if you already have that bond established, it’s important to keep the on-going connection at this time when the children are facing so many unknowns. Be a supportive, compassionate ear for the grandkids! When communication

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Children Of Divorce Are Affected By Conf...

Children Of Divorce Are Affected By Conflicting Parental Lifestyles
Child Caught Between Divorced Parents By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC As a Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach I often are sent questions from concerned parents. One recent question focused on an issue that many divorced parents face with mounting frustration. It had to do with one parent treating the children to lavish gifts and trips while the other parent is struggling financially. Mom was aware that she shouldn’t say anything negative to her children about their Dad. But she was finding it difficult in the face of her circumstances. The question, of course, was what can she do about this? Consider all the possibilities! It’s impossible to provide a specific answer when the so many of the circumstances are unknown to me. How often is Dad seeing the children? What kind of relationship does he have with them when he is not there? Is he angry about not

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