Moving through or beyond Divorce?

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Posts in category parenting after divorce

Divorced Parents: When You Make Co-Pa...

Divorced Parents: When You Make Co-Parenting Mistakes, Step Up & Make It Right!
Anger-Conflict Programs for Co-Parenting & Other Life Challenges By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce drives some people crazy. Because of that, they make many poor decisions. Their judgment, integrity and credibility are easy to question. Their decisions regarding taking responsibility for their children come under scrutiny. There is much we can all learn from these mistakes. And wisdom we can take away that is important for all of us to remember: It’s never too late to get it right – when your children are at stake! In the heat of the divorce drama, we may have settled for a decision or two that we later regretted and still feel resentful. Or we made a child-related agreement that, in hindsight, was not in our child’s best interest – but we don’t know quite how to remedy the situation. Perhaps we lost our tempers at an inappropriate time and

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Divorcing Moms: Love Your Kids More T...

Divorcing Moms: Love Your Kids More Than Hating the “Other Woman”!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC parenting after divorce When the “other woman” is in the picture, divorce can be vastly more complicated for divorcing parents. But the challenges that can come with the "other woman” don't change the parenting rules. When you’re a parent it is essential that you don’t make the big “never do” mistakes when talking to your children – as tempting as it may be to do otherwise. These “no-no” mistakes include: Sharing adult information with your kids, even teens. Don’t bring up the OW unless the children already know about her. Don’t discuss adultery and other complex adult issues, despite the hurt and pain you’re experiencing at this time. Instead, reach out to a therapist or divorce coach for professional help and support. Confide in your friends – not your kids! As tempting as it may be, minimize the conversations about the why

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Children Going Through Divorce: How P...

Children Going Through Divorce: How Parents Can Meet Their Emotional Needs
the emotional toll of divorce on children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC A child's psychological needs are greatly increased during and after a divorce. Often they are experiencing an economic and emotional roller coaster, which can lead to guilt, fear and confusion. If parents are consciously focused on and sensitive to their child's needs through divorce and its aftermath, they will do a better job of meeting those needs in the weeks, months and years ahead. At this time it’s important that both parents strive to minimize the price your child has to pay for the breakup of your relationship. To do this effectively it’s important to understand some of your child’s most significant emotional and psychological needs: Approval and Acceptance: This will be a child's greatest need because their sense of self is very likely in a fragile state, especially if they have been exposed to

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How Divorce Affects Children & T...

How Divorce Affects Children & Teens: Parents Need Realistic Expectations!
Children are affected by divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Parenting is always complex. Parenting following a divorce can add many other layers of distraction and confusion to the mix. That makes it even more important for parents to be aware of how their children are responding to the divorce. Misunderstanding Your Child’s Intentions One common error parents make is misunderstanding the stage of development their children are at which can lead to unrealistic expectations. Too often parents will assume that their child has a realistic handle on their emotions. They also believe the child has a deeper understanding of human nature than is really possible at their age. So when their child acts out, expresses anger or otherwise misbehaves, many parents misconstrue their intentions. Parents don’t fully grasp the fear and insecurity that divorce brings up in children. They mistakenly see these young beings as little

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8 Tips For Co-Parenting Success After...

8 Tips For Co-Parenting Success After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC  Parenting following a divorce can be complex, frustrating and confusing. However, every day parents around the world are coping with the challenges and raising happy, well-adjusted children. As founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network I’ve found that there are many factors that influence your effectiveness as a co-parent. They begin from the inside out. In this article we’ll review some of the major keys to insuring a more successful co-parenting outcome for you and your children during and long after your divorce. Co-parenting is a life-long endeavor. When you master the skills suggested here, life will be better and more rewarding for everyone in the family. And that’s a goal worth attaining!  1: WATCH YOUR ATTITUDE  Attitude plays a big part in the success of any Child-Centered Divorce. If you approach your divorce with a commitment to making it as positive an experience as possible for

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4 Ways to Help Kids of Divorce Transi...

4 Ways to Help Kids of Divorce Transition Between Homes
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC During divorce proceedings parenting plans and contact schedules are usually established to create a semblance of routine in this new chapter of family life. I am a strong believer in co-parenting whenever possible to serve the best interest of your children. Sometimes parallel parenting is the norm, meaning you both parent the children but with minimum communication between parents. Keep in mind that your kids pick up on the emotional energy around their parents and life after divorce is smoother and easier for them when their parents behave with civility and maturity. However you work out your shared parenting plan, it’s the reality of post-divorce daily life that puts co-parents to the test. Here are 4 ways to ease the process for everyone involved. 1. Be patient with one another. Starting any new schedule in life is never easy. Chances are the between-home transitions will present

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Lessons About Celebrity Divorces ...

Lessons About Celebrity Divorces & Co-Parenting!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC In today’s world Hollywood celebrities are major role models in our culture, especially to the younger generation. For that reason I keep an eye on the movie-star set to see what they’re doing in their relationships. It always makes for great conversation within the Child-Centered Divorce community. Too often the examples we see are poor ones. So many celebrity relationships end in ugly divorces and child-custody suits. Happily, however, there are some admirable exceptions. These couples are stepping up to taking more responsibility for their behaviors before and after the divorce. They are talking about the issues affecting their children and seem more aware than in the past about the consequences for children when a divorce gets nasty. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are prime examples of putting your family first. They get together for church, special events, holidays and other family time. This reminds their

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Protecting Children of Divorce From t...

Protecting Children of Divorce From the Emotional Damage of  Parental Alienation!
Children are affected by divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce conflicts between parents can get ugly. And too often parents tend to vent or share this anger about the other parent with one or more of the children involved. The results can be devastating – not only for the “target” parent, but for the children, as well. This is just one form of parental alienation, which is a persistent and very complex set of behaviors designed to break the bond between the targeted parent and their children. Most significant is that the behavior usually feels totally justified by the alienating parent. The problem is that your innocent children are caught in the middle, and often quite upset and confused about being told disrespectful things about their other parent. Not only is this hurtful for them, the reaction can cause havoc in the family. Alienated children can

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Divorced Parents: Effective Communica...

Divorced Parents: Effective Communication Is Key to Co-Parenting Success
Children affected by Divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC While divorce may end a marriage, when you’re a parent it doesn’t end the need for working together on behalf of your children. How you communicate with one another about parenting issues will affect your children today and for years to come. Here are some tips on keeping communication with your Ex as effective as possible. Communicate in writing  Use online co-parenting tools such as MoietyApp.com to schedule co-parenting appointments and keep clear records of all conversations, notes, memos, and details. Avoid in-person or telephone talk if there is growing conflict. Writing enables you to express yourself clearly and succinctly. Emails, texts and faxes record dates and time which can also be useful. Focus on the present and the future      Communication is not about re-hashing old wounds and arguments. Focus on the issues at hand keeping

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Divorced Parents’ 10 Biggest Pa...

Divorced Parents’ 10 Biggest Parenting Mistakes To Avoid!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Some parents think once they are divorced and most of the decisions have been made, the worst is behind them. Unfortunately, parenting after divorce is a week by week experience. Your success depends on the decisions you make, your attitude toward your situation and your compassion for your innocent children. You may have heard it all before, but smart parents quiz themselves regularly to see if they are not falling into some of the traps of destructive post-divorce parenting. If you find yourself making any of these mistakes, it’s never too late to make amends. You may have to alter decisions, change some behaviors, give yourself an attitude adjustment and even apologize to your children – or to their other parent! Keep in mind, we all make mistakes that we regret. It’s part of the learning process – especially when we’re parents. It’s far better to

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