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Posts in category parenting after divorce

Holiday Coping Tips For Divorced Pare...

Holiday Coping Tips For Divorced Parents Who Are Apart From Their Children
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC One of the saddest consequences of divorce for parents is the alone-time when your children are visiting their other parent. While short-term periods when the kids are away can be a welcome respite for an overscheduled single parent, that’s not always the case. For many parents the intervals between seeing the children can be long and lonely. This is especially so during the holiday season which can become a particularly challenging time – made even more difficult when friends and neighbors are busy with their own family gatherings. It’s really important for parents who are alone during the winter holidays to get creative and absorbed in activities that you find personally fulfilling. This time of year can also be an opportunity to reflect on meeting your own needs and finding friends and activities that bring joy into your life on a personal level rather than a

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Parents: Give Children of Divorce Spe...

Parents: Give Children of Divorce Special Holiday Attention
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC For divorcing and divorced parents the holiday season can be especially stressful, pressure-filled and overwhelming. But you’re not alone. For children facing their parents’ divorce or who are experiencing their first holiday season post-divorce, this can be an especially tough time of year. For that reason all parents and extended family members who want to protect children caught in the consequences of a divorce, need to be especially mindful and compassionate during the weeks ahead. It doesn’t take much to give a child or a teen a joyous experience spending time with you. You don’t need expensive gifts or trips to exotic places. Doing things together is what counts most. Sledding, ice skating, baking, creating crafts, watching movies, visiting a children’s museum, taking a short railroad trip, building a snowman, making a family video, adopting a pet from a local shelter, volunteering to wrap gifts for

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Depression In Children of Divorce – H...

Depression In Children of Divorce – Helping Your Kids Cope Effectively
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Remember the emotional toll of divorce on children Divorce has many effects on children. No two children will react in exactly the same way. That’s why parents need to be diligent about watching for signs and indications that your child may be having problems coping with their new reality. Depression is one of the more common reactions we see in children of divorce. Unfortunately, many parents entirely miss or misinterpret the signs of depression. It can take many forms including behavior that is distancing, lethargic and withdrawn. This is often accompanied by a drop in school grades. But depression can also show in other ways, such as agitation, frustration and aggression. When depression takes that form, parents are likely to think of it in terms of discipline problems and respond with punishment. It takes maturity and a broader perspective to stand back

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Divorced Parents: When You Make Co-Pa...

Divorced Parents: When You Make Co-Parenting Mistakes, Step Up & Make It Right!
Anger-Conflict Programs for Co-Parenting & Other Life Challenges By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce drives some people crazy. Because of that, they make many poor decisions. Their judgment, integrity and credibility are easy to question. Their decisions regarding taking responsibility for their children come under scrutiny. There is much we can all learn from these mistakes. And wisdom we can take away that is important for all of us to remember: It’s never too late to get it right – when your children are at stake! In the heat of the divorce drama, we may have settled for a decision or two that we later regretted and still feel resentful. Or we made a child-related agreement that, in hindsight, was not in our child’s best interest – but we don’t know quite how to remedy the situation. Perhaps we lost our tempers at an inappropriate time and

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Divorcing Moms: Love Your Kids More T...

Divorcing Moms: Love Your Kids More Than Hating the “Other Woman”!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC parenting after divorce When the “other woman” is in the picture, divorce can be vastly more complicated for divorcing parents. But the challenges that can come with the "other woman” don't change the parenting rules. When you’re a parent it is essential that you don’t make the big “never do” mistakes when talking to your children – as tempting as it may be to do otherwise. These “no-no” mistakes include: Sharing adult information with your kids, even teens. Don’t bring up the OW unless the children already know about her. Don’t discuss adultery and other complex adult issues, despite the hurt and pain you’re experiencing at this time. Instead, reach out to a therapist or divorce coach for professional help and support. Confide in your friends – not your kids! As tempting as it may be, minimize the conversations about the why

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Children Going Through Divorce: How P...

Children Going Through Divorce: How Parents Can Meet Their Emotional Needs
the emotional toll of divorce on children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC A child's psychological needs are greatly increased during and after a divorce. Often they are experiencing an economic and emotional roller coaster, which can lead to guilt, fear and confusion. If parents are consciously focused on and sensitive to their child's needs through divorce and its aftermath, they will do a better job of meeting those needs in the weeks, months and years ahead. At this time it’s important that both parents strive to minimize the price your child has to pay for the breakup of your relationship. To do this effectively it’s important to understand some of your child’s most significant emotional and psychological needs: Approval and Acceptance: This will be a child's greatest need because their sense of self is very likely in a fragile state, especially if they have been exposed to

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How Divorce Affects Children & T...

How Divorce Affects Children & Teens: Parents Need Realistic Expectations!
Children are affected by divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Parenting is always complex. Parenting following a divorce can add many other layers of distraction and confusion to the mix. That makes it even more important for parents to be aware of how their children are responding to the divorce. Misunderstanding Your Child’s Intentions One common error parents make is misunderstanding the stage of development their children are at which can lead to unrealistic expectations. Too often parents will assume that their child has a realistic handle on their emotions. They also believe the child has a deeper understanding of human nature than is really possible at their age. So when their child acts out, expresses anger or otherwise misbehaves, many parents misconstrue their intentions. Parents don’t fully grasp the fear and insecurity that divorce brings up in children. They mistakenly see these young beings as little

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8 Tips For Co-Parenting Success After...

8 Tips For Co-Parenting Success After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC  Parenting following a divorce can be complex, frustrating and confusing. However, every day parents around the world are coping with the challenges and raising happy, well-adjusted children. As founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network I’ve found that there are many factors that influence your effectiveness as a co-parent. They begin from the inside out. In this article we’ll review some of the major keys to insuring a more successful co-parenting outcome for you and your children during and long after your divorce. Co-parenting is a life-long endeavor. When you master the skills suggested here, life will be better and more rewarding for everyone in the family. And that’s a goal worth attaining!  1: WATCH YOUR ATTITUDE  Attitude plays a big part in the success of any Child-Centered Divorce. If you approach your divorce with a commitment to making it as positive an experience as possible for

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4 Ways to Help Kids of Divorce Transi...

4 Ways to Help Kids of Divorce Transition Between Homes
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC During divorce proceedings parenting plans and contact schedules are usually established to create a semblance of routine in this new chapter of family life. I am a strong believer in co-parenting whenever possible to serve the best interest of your children. Sometimes parallel parenting is the norm, meaning you both parent the children but with minimum communication between parents. Keep in mind that your kids pick up on the emotional energy around their parents and life after divorce is smoother and easier for them when their parents behave with civility and maturity. However you work out your shared parenting plan, it’s the reality of post-divorce daily life that puts co-parents to the test. Here are 4 ways to ease the process for everyone involved. 1. Be patient with one another. Starting any new schedule in life is never easy. Chances are the between-home transitions will present

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Lessons About Celebrity Divorces ...

Lessons About Celebrity Divorces & Co-Parenting!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC In today’s world Hollywood celebrities are major role models in our culture, especially to the younger generation. For that reason I keep an eye on the movie-star set to see what they’re doing in their relationships. It always makes for great conversation within the Child-Centered Divorce community. Too often the examples we see are poor ones. So many celebrity relationships end in ugly divorces and child-custody suits. Happily, however, there are some admirable exceptions. These couples are stepping up to taking more responsibility for their behaviors before and after the divorce. They are talking about the issues affecting their children and seem more aware than in the past about the consequences for children when a divorce gets nasty. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are prime examples of putting your family first. They get together for church, special events, holidays and other family time. This reminds their

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