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Child Centered Divorce

The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent

Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC

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Divorced Parents: 6 Steps To Stop Scarri...

Divorced Parents: 6 Steps To Stop Scarring Your Kids!
Parenting after divorce takes insight By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Let’s face it, divorce impacts everyone in the family. But it doesn’t have to scar your children if you remember to put their emotional and psychological needs first when making crucial co-parenting decisions. Keep in mind that every decision you make regarding your divorce will affect the wellbeing of your children in a multitude of serious ways. Of course, the emotional scars are not only harder to see, they’re also much harder to erase. Here are 6 significant ways to avoid scarring or wounding your kids as you move through your divorce and transition into post-divorce co-parenting in the months and years ahead. 1)  Stop conflict and fighting around the kids!  Studies show time and again that it is conflict and tension around children that creates the most difficulties for them related to divorce. It’s not the

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How To Talk To Your Kids After Divorce T...

How To Talk To Your Kids After Divorce To Show You Care!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC During and after divorce your children may be hyper-sensitive about many things. What may have been routine conversations, questions or activities can now be touchy subjects. Often, they’re compounded by anxiety, resentment or ager. This is understandable when you consider that the stability of the world they knew has been dramatically altered. Minor insecurities can easily grow into major problems. Children may regress in their behaviors and skills. Some become more clinging – others more aloof – depending on their  adaptability and perspective about the divorce.   This is a time to master the art of good parent/child communication. It will help to reinforce or rebuild trust. And it will boost a sense of security and confidence that things will be okay again – despite the changes inflicted by your divorce.   Here are 5 solid tips for more effective communication with your children. Master them

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2 Challenges Your Children Face During &

2 Challenges Your Children Face During & After Divorce
Child Caught Between Divorced Parents By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Whether your divorce is pending or five years behind you, it continues to impact your children. And they will  attempt to process that reality according to their age and level of understanding. There are several concepts that cause the most emotional turmoil for children. Being aware of these sensitive areas can help parents address these issues more effectively. As your children age, they may revisit your divorce with more questions, confusion or insecurity. That’s why it’s essential that you have answers ready based on a keen understanding of how children internalize divorce – even long after it’s over. There are two major concepts that can create the most emotional pain for children. The first has to do with blame and the second with unrealistic expectations. Here are some suggestions for handling these common challenges. Children keep blaming

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5 Ways To Minimize How Divorce Impacts Y...

5 Ways To Minimize How Divorce Impacts Your Children
Cooperative coparenting supports children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Communication with our children is always important, but never as essential as when they are impacted by separation or divorce. Children are vulnerable and easily frightened by changes in their routines. The more you talk to and comfort them, the less confusion, stress and anxiety they’ll experience. This is the time to reassure your children that you are taking care of matters and everyone in the family will be okay. Then, of course, take responsibility for doing what needs to be done to assure their well-being. Here are five important ways you can minimize the impact of divorce on your children to help them thrive during and after your divorce. 1) Strive for structure and normalcy Strive to keep as much normalcy in your children’s lives as is feasible. Maintaining relationships with friends and neighbors provides a sense

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Overcome Holiday Depression During and A...

Overcome Holiday Depression During and After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Separated or  divorced? Thanksgiving, Christmas – most any holiday -- can be depressing. Or bring up painful memories of happier times, especially if you have children. So, what can you do? Keep in mind that with the pain comes a choice. You can choose to acknowledge the past for what it was. You can value the good times you might have had together. Then you can choose to move on and let go. Yes, that’s never easy. But it is worth the effort. Because otherwise you’re likely to get stuck tormenting yourself with all the "shoulds."  We should still be a family today. He should be ashamed of what he's doing to us. She shouldn’t be able to have the kids on Christmas Day. I should be over this by now. It should be easier for me to move on – why isn’t it? You get

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Disciplining Children Through Divorce By...

Disciplining Children Through Divorce By Limiting Behavior — Not Their Thoughts!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Discipline is always a challenge for parents. Regardless of the age your child may be, they inevitably find ways to act out, challenge your authority and test the limits of their boundaries. Often these behaviors create tension and disagreements between both parents which children are good at exploiting to their advantage. This, of course, is the time for parents to forge a solid bond of agreement regarding their approach to discipline. If they do, the child is less likely to test the waters and more likely to alter their behavior into more appropriate channels. When separation or divorce takes place, disciplining children can become even more difficult. This is especially so if both parents are not on good terms regarding the parenting equation. Parental discord can open the door for children to move into behavioral extremes, pitting you and your former spouse against each other. We've

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Divorced Parents: Made Mistakes You Regr...

Divorced Parents: Made Mistakes You Regret? It’s Not Too Late To Make It Right!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce drives some people crazy. Because of that, divorced co-parents often make many poor decisions. Their judgment, integrity and behavior are easy to question. Their decisions regarding taking responsibility for their children come under scrutiny. There is much we can all learn from these mistakes as co-parents. And wisdom we can take away that is important for all of us to remember: It’s never too late to get it right – when your children are at stake! We all have regrets … In the heat of the divorce drama, we may have settled for a decision or two that we later regretted and still feel resentful. Or we made a child-related agreement that, in hindsight, was not in our child’s best interest – but we don’t know quite how to remedy the situation. Perhaps we lost our tempers at an inappropriate time and watched our children

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Divorced Parents: Don’t Let Your Childre

Divorced Parents: Don’t Let Your Children Start Parenting You!
Divorce catches kids in the middle By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce is tough enough. When children try to protect their parents by parenting their parents, the parenting is moving backwards and the results are devastating. Always be careful of what you share with your children regarding your own emotional state during and after your divorce. It can create enormous confusion for your children, along with guilt, frustration and despair. Children can be very resourceful in how they behave when they sense either one of their parents is vulnerable or hurting. Often they will side with one parent over the other as a means of support. They may fear that expressing happiness about time spent with one parent can seem like a betrayal of the other. They worry about hurting the feelings of the emotionally weaker parent – or experiencing the disapproval of the emotionally stronger parent.

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5 Divorce Co-Parenting Questions Your Ki...

5 Divorce Co-Parenting Questions Your Kids Want You To Explore
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Co-parenting brings enormous challenges to both parents. For those not caught in high conflict divorces, it’s easier to move into the co-parenting equation. And much easier to adapt to new schedules, boundaries, agreements and conversations. That’s why the Child-Centered Divorce Network so strongly endorses mediation, Collaborative Divorce, the new Amicable Divorce Network and similar low-conflict options. They keep both parents focused on what really matters long-term: the emotional, physical and psychological well-being of your children! When one gets entangled in the complications of litigation, you are opening the door to court involvement in your family dynamics. This is rarely a healthy situation for parents or children. No judge, regardless of how well-meaning they may be, knows your family the way you do. Their decisions are binding. That may lead you to countless  appearances over many years trying to untangle a decision that didn’t need to be

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6 Tips For Talking To Your Kids After Di...

6 Tips For Talking To Your Kids After Divorce!
Divorced parent communication with your child is essential. By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When you’re a divorced parent, effective communication with your children is more important than ever. Which means honing your communication skills so you’re connecting with love, respect and compassion. Candid divorced parent communication opens the doors to a healthier, more positive relationship with your kids. It makes you more sensitive to issues of concern early on so you can nip them in the bud. It encourages your children to talk about what they are feeling. It addresses their questions and situations that are creating conflict for them. How to open the conversation so you’re not shut down! Don’t sit down and say, let’s talk. Find comfortable times and places where conversation can flow naturally and easily. Then bring up related subjects in a casual way. Watching TV or movies at home can often be

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