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Child Centered Divorce

The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent

Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC

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Back To School After Divorce: 5 Tips Par...

Back To School After Divorce: 5 Tips Parents Need To Know!
Divorce hard for children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Not surprisingly, many divorces take place during the spring and summer. This gives families time to adapt to the changes ahead. But it also makes returning to school a challenge for many children of divorce. Here are suggestions for parents to help ease the transition by tapping into the many resources available through the school. That’s why it’s wise to develop a cooperative relationship with key school personnel. Before school starts it’s wise to inform your child’s teachers about the divorce and any changes in your home environment. The more aware they are, the better prepared they can be to help your child. After all, school is often a second home for children – and that may be very comforting during this time of changes and uncertainty.   Be Alert For Deep Feelings & Raw Emotions You can’t expect

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Divorced Parent Coping With Stress? Self...

Divorced Parent Coping With Stress? Self-care Is Essential!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC There are days – yes, weeks and months – when life can seem awfully low. Often overbearing. The weight can seem just too much to carry. Life challenges related to divorce frequently play a part in these circumstances. And when you’re a divorced parent at the same time … well, you know how it feels! Just know, as well, that you’re not alone. Parenting is tough for everyone, even under the best of circumstances. Parenting through and beyond divorce takes enormous focus and a continuous need for compassion, both for yourself and your children. If you take it day by day, you will find the strength and even the wisdom to make decisions that tap into your innate wisdom and love for your children. But it’s also essential to parent and nurture yourself at the same time. Take a tip from the

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Divorced Co-Parents’ Dilemma: Balancing

Divorced Co-Parents’ Dilemma: Balancing Privacy vs. Sharing
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC My co-parent tells our kids not to tell me about what goes on at home when they visit. Can’t I ask questions? You’re not alone in being frustrated by finding balance in the privacy versus sharing equation. And there is no simple answer. After divorce most parents want to keep their private lives private and don’t want the children sharing too many details about their visit time. Asking your children to “spy” on their other parent puts the kids in an awkward situation. They feel guilty, pressured and confused, especially if Mom or Dad tells them not to share specific information. This delicate subject needs to be addressed between both parents and agreed upon in advance. Discuss sensible boundaries, taking into account the age of your child. Children should be able to talk to both parents about activities, meals or other innocent details regarding their time

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Co-Parenting After Divorce Depends On Sm...

Co-Parenting After Divorce Depends On Smart Decisions
Divorce catches kids in the middle By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC If you’re a parent, divorce doesn’t end your relationship with your former spouse. It only changes the form in some specific ways. It is still essential to create a working relationship focused on the optimum care and concern for your children. Every co-parenting relationship will be unique, affected by your post-divorce family dynamics. However, there are guidelines that will enhance the results for children in any family. Here are some crucial points to keep in mind to maximize your co-parenting success. Respect your co-parent’s boundaries: Chances are your former spouse has a different parenting style than you, with some conflicting rules. Rather than stress yourself about these differences, learn to accept that life is never consistent and it may actually be beneficial for your kids to experience other ways of doing things. Step back from micro-managing

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Parents: Don’t Overlook Your Child’s Rea

Parents: Don’t Overlook Your Child’s Reaction To Your Divorce!
Be aware of the emotional toll of divorce on children! By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC: Parenting is always complex. Parenting following a divorce can add many other layers of distraction and confusion to the mix. That makes it even more important for parents to be aware of how their children are responding to the divorce. Misunderstanding your child’s stage of development One common error parents make is misunderstanding their child’s stage of development. That can lead to irrational and unrealistic expectations. Too often parents will assume that their child has a better handle on their emotions and a deeper understanding of human nature than is really possible at their age. So when their child acts out or otherwise misbehaves, it’s easy to misinterpret their intentions. Parents mistakenly see children, even teens, as little adults who bring adult reasoning and comprehension to daily circumstances. With that mindset, it’s

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Divorcing Parents: Don’t See Divorce As

Divorcing Parents: Don’t See Divorce As a Failure
Family Portrait By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all know divorce marks the end of a marital relationship. But when children are involved, it need not mean the end of the family. This is an important distinction for both parents and children to grasp. It can affect how that family is impacted by the divorce. Too often in our culture we look at divorce as a failure. That negative label puts an added emotional burden on parents when they are already feeling vulnerable, ashamed, anxious and confused. Rather than reflecting failure, divorce can be a solution for families. This is especially true for families that have been living with tension, anger, disrespect or other highly charged emotions. For those families divorce may become an intervention. It changes the form of a family, but need not mean the end of that family from a child's eyes. Parents who

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10 Key Questions Divorced Co-Parents Mus...

10 Key Questions Divorced Co-Parents Must Answer If You Really Love Your Kids!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorced parents face challenges that are not only complex; they are long lasting as well. There are many variations of joint parenting, co-parenting and other forms of divorced parenting based on how well both parents get along, their geographical proximity, the age of the children and other contributing factors. Every decision made will affect the children involved -- and the impact can be detected in children’s behavior, attitudes and levels of self-esteem. To help parents co-parent more effectively I’ve created a list of significant questions to ask yourselves. I share these during mentoring sessions with parents not only before, but long after the divorce as well. If you sit together and discuss these questions, or review them during mediation, it can help you avoid serious mistakes and unnecessary strife now and well into the future. The more honest you are with yourself and your former spouse,

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2 Crucial Gifts Your Child Needs From Yo...

2 Crucial Gifts Your Child Needs From You After Your Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC One of the greatest challenges divorced parents face is adequately meeting their children’s needs during and after the divorce. While most parents pay lip service to focusing on the wellbeing of the children, sadly that’s not always the case. Divorcing and divorced parents can become overwhelmed by the emotional upheaval they are experiencing, especially if they don’t chose a positive divorce platform. After marinating in the anger, hurt, resentment, guilt, shame, blame and other conflicting emotions for so long, some lose their capacity to empathize with what their children are going through. Or they just stop caring. Other parents need parenting themselves. They  don’t have the ability to put their own needs aside to address the turmoil they see in their children. More than ever before co-parents need to feel and show compassion for their children. So  often kids are feeling frightened, confused, guilty, angry, ashamed

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Made Divorce Mistakes? It’s Not Too Late

Made Divorce Mistakes? It’s Not Too Late To Get it Right – For Your Children!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Whether you got divorced several weeks ago or it’s been several years, most of us can acknowledge that we’ve made some mistakes. Perhaps we lost our tempers at an inappropriate time and watched our children painfully internalize the experience. Maybe we referred to our ex in a rather unflattering way only to find our child get very upset and storm away in anger. Chances are, in the heat of the divorce drama, we settled for a decision or two that we later regretted and still feel unsettled. Or we made a child-related agreement that, in hindsight, was not in our child’s best interest – but we don’t know quite how to remedy the situation. While some legal matters will involve only legal resolution, there are many post-divorce relationship decisions involving our children that we can remedy. And it’s never too late to make amends and get

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Co-Parenting Success Is Based On A Healt...

Co-Parenting Success Is Based On A Healthy Mind-Set After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Getting divorced and preparing for the responsibilities of co-parenting ahead? This facet of life after divorce can be enormously complex and challenging for several good reasons: Both parents are bringing the raw emotions resulting from the divorce into a new stage in their lives. Mom and Dad are also bringing previous baggage from the marriage – ongoing conflicts, serious disputes, differing styles of communication, unresolved issues and continual frustrations -- into the mix as they negotiate a co-parenting plan. Both parents are vying for the respect and love of the children – and are easily tempted to slant their parenting decisions in the direction that wins them popularity with the kids. Anger and resentment resulting from the divorce settlement can impact and influence levels of cooperation in the years to come. Parents may disagree about major issues ahead that weren’t part of the parenting dynamic in

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