Moving through or beyond Divorce?

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Posts in category parenting after divorce

When Divorced Parents Abandon Or Reje...

When Divorced Parents Abandon Or Reject Their Kids
The emotional toll of divorce on children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Following divorce, most parents are eager to see the children as frequently as possible. Often this desire results in heated battles inside or out of court focused around custody issues. In many cases co-parenting is the ideal option. A parenting plan is set into place and the children are moved between two homes giving them continued access to both parents. While many parents may not want to “share” the children, they often realize this is in their kid’s best interest, and therefore come up with an arrangement they can live with. In families that don’t co-parent, usually one parent has primary custody of the children with the other parent taking the reins on a scheduled basis. This regular visitation may be over weekends, specific days per month, or periodic visits during the year if distance

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Managing Anger & Other Co-Parent...

Managing Anger & Other Co-Parenting Challenges After Divorce
Anger-Conflict Programs for Co-Parenting & Other Life Challenges By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Anger is a natural consequence of a relationship breakup or divorce. But not all anger is the same and it’s important to understand how anger is affecting not only your divorce, but also your life and your other relationships. Is anger seeping into your relationship with your kids? With your in-laws, or other family members? Will anger negatively impact your future romantic relationships? If not handled affectively, it certainly will. No one wants to be in a relationship with an angry partner. But often we don’t see the anger others see in us. Or we feel our anger is so justified we don’t care about how it affects us. Or affects others. Especially our kids! Balancing Our Anger Effectively There are ways to handle, manage and work through our anger so it’s not destructive

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Why YOU – Not A Divorce Judge – Shoul...

Why YOU – Not A Divorce Judge – Should Resolve Child Custody Disputes!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Judges and others in the divorce judicial system mean well. However, they are burdened with too many cases to unravel the complexities involved for each family. That leads to serious complications, injustice and errors. Consequently it is wise to do everything you can to stay out of court when settling child custody issues and disputes. Based on speaking to many family law attorneys I believe that situations work out best, long-term, when decisions are made by the parents themselves rather than being left to the legal system. Most parents continue to co-parent their children after divorce. Except for circumstances where children are at risk, both parents have the responsibility to put the their children first by working out a parenting plan that is in the children’s best interests. Having trouble agreeing on a plan that works for both parents and the kids? Remember: If you are

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Children and Divorce: 5 Keys To Help ...

Children and Divorce: 5 Keys To Help Your Kids Thrive
Make smart parenting decisions after divorce. By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC No one plans to get divorced. But more than one million children in the U.S. will experience its affects this year alone. Divorce has become relatively mainstream in our culture, but that doesn’t make it easier for the parents or children involved. Consequently, innocent kids are coping with the consequences every day. The good news is that divorce need not wound and scar your children if you put their emotional and psychological needs first when making crucial decisions. It’s misguided parents – angry, resentful, hurt and mistrusting – who unintentionally set their children up for painful outcomes. These parents don’t understand that every decision they make regarding their divorce will affect the wellbeing of their children in countless ways. The emotional scars are not only harder to see, they’re also much harder to erase. Here are

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How Children of Divorce Are Affected ...

How Children of Divorce Are Affected By Parental Anger & Conflict
Parents Fighting Around Kids After Divorce Whether you're contemplating divorce, in the process, or transitioning after your own divorce, there's one thing that's crucial for all parents to keep in mind ... Fighting around the children does more damage to them than divorce itself. That’s why as parents we need to be diligent in monitoring our children -- as well as our own behavior -- to safeguard our kids from emotional and psychological damage. A study published in the Journal of Research on Adolescence* shows that children exposed to constant parental bickering are more likely to be depressed. They are also more prone to expressing other “problem behaviors,” including substance abuse, bullying, aggression and poor school grades. Here are some essential behaviors to avoid during and after divorce to protect your children from the negative effects of conflict on their psyches and emotional wellbeing. Never battle where

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Depression In Children of Divorce – H...

Depression In Children of Divorce – How Parents Can Help
Divorce hard for children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce has many effects on children. No two children will react in exactly the same way. That’s why parents need to be diligent about watching for signs and indications that your child may be having problems coping with their new reality. Depression is one of the more common reactions we see in children of divorce. Unfortunately, many parents entirely miss or misinterpret the signs of depression. It can take many forms including behavior that is distancing, lethargic and withdrawn. This is often accompanied by a drop in school grades. But depression can also show in other ways, such as agitation, frustration and aggression. When depression takes that form, parents are likely to think of it in terms of discipline problems and respond with punishment. It takes maturity and a broader perspective to stand back and realize that your

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Holiday Coping Tips For Divorced Pare...

Holiday Coping Tips For Divorced Parents Who Are Apart From Their Children
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC One of the saddest consequences of divorce for parents is the alone-time when your children are visiting their other parent. While short-term periods when the kids are away can be a welcome respite for an overscheduled single parent, that’s not always the case. For many parents the intervals between seeing the children can be long and lonely. This is especially so during the holiday season which can become a particularly challenging time – made even more difficult when friends and neighbors are busy with their own family gatherings. It’s really important for parents who are alone during the winter holidays to get creative and absorbed in activities that you find personally fulfilling. This time of year can also be an opportunity to reflect on meeting your own needs and finding friends and activities that bring joy into your life on a personal level rather than a

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Parents: Give Children of Divorce Spe...

Parents: Give Children of Divorce Special Holiday Attention
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC For divorcing and divorced parents the holiday season can be especially stressful, pressure-filled and overwhelming. But you’re not alone. For children facing their parents’ divorce or who are experiencing their first holiday season post-divorce, this can be an especially tough time of year. For that reason all parents and extended family members who want to protect children caught in the consequences of a divorce, need to be especially mindful and compassionate during the weeks ahead. It doesn’t take much to give a child or a teen a joyous experience spending time with you. You don’t need expensive gifts or trips to exotic places. Doing things together is what counts most. Sledding, ice skating, baking, creating crafts, watching movies, visiting a children’s museum, taking a short railroad trip, building a snowman, making a family video, adopting a pet from a local shelter, volunteering to wrap gifts for

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Depression In Children of Divorce – H...

Depression In Children of Divorce – Helping Your Kids Cope Effectively
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Remember the emotional toll of divorce on children Divorce has many effects on children. No two children will react in exactly the same way. That’s why parents need to be diligent about watching for signs and indications that your child may be having problems coping with their new reality. Depression is one of the more common reactions we see in children of divorce. Unfortunately, many parents entirely miss or misinterpret the signs of depression. It can take many forms including behavior that is distancing, lethargic and withdrawn. This is often accompanied by a drop in school grades. But depression can also show in other ways, such as agitation, frustration and aggression. When depression takes that form, parents are likely to think of it in terms of discipline problems and respond with punishment. It takes maturity and a broader perspective to stand back

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Divorced Parents: When You Make Co-Pa...

Divorced Parents: When You Make Co-Parenting Mistakes, Step Up & Make It Right!
Anger-Conflict Programs for Co-Parenting & Other Life Challenges By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce drives some people crazy. Because of that, they make many poor decisions. Their judgment, integrity and credibility are easy to question. Their decisions regarding taking responsibility for their children come under scrutiny. There is much we can all learn from these mistakes. And wisdom we can take away that is important for all of us to remember: It’s never too late to get it right – when your children are at stake! In the heat of the divorce drama, we may have settled for a decision or two that we later regretted and still feel resentful. Or we made a child-related agreement that, in hindsight, was not in our child’s best interest – but we don’t know quite how to remedy the situation. Perhaps we lost our tempers at an inappropriate time and

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