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Child Centered Divorce
The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent
Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC
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Your Children Are Deeply Affected By You...

Your Children Are Deeply Affected By Your Emotions After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce can be devastating when you’re a parent. You can’t just crawl into a hole and grieve, rant or rage. You must still care for the well-being of your children. And sometimes this is a challenge that overwhelms, resulting in parents who can’t cope with the responsibilities of parenting. When this happens, your children pay a high price. And too often, the parents aren’t totally aware of how their kids are affected. It’s not always easy to remember that your children may be grieving as deeply as you are during and after divorce. It’s even more frightening for them because they were not responsible for the divorce. Nor are they responsible for the complex dynamics that led up to the split. Their fears are also compounded by apprehension about whether either parent will ever divorce them? And then, what will happen to them and their family

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Balancing Boundaries & Privacy Issues As

Balancing Boundaries & Privacy Issues As Divorced Co-Parents
Balancing Boundaries & Privacy Issues as Divorced Co-Parents By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC After divorce most parents want to keep their private lives private. They don’t want the children sharing too many details about their visit time. This can create frustration for parents as they struggle to find balance in the privacy versus sharing equation. And there’s no simple solution. Often your co-parent may ask the kids not to tell you about what they did, ate or talked about during their visits. Yet, as a parent, it’s only natural to ask questions. To want to know how your kids spent their time. Handled compassionately, you can avoid needless conflict. Asking your children to “spy” on their other parent puts them in an awkward situation. They feel guilty, pressured and confused, especially if either parent tells them not to share specific information. This complex topic needs to be addressed between both parents. And should be agreed upon in

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Co-parenting Cooperatively So You Can Pr...

Co-parenting Cooperatively So You Can Protect Your Children!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry provides this advice. Children of divorce do best when both of their parents continue to be actively involved in their lives. It's the ongoing connection that makes the positive difference for children, minimizing the fact that their parents no longer live together. That's why co-parenting is so universally encouraged after divorce. It's a meaningful way to reduce the long-term emotional impact on children. Co-parenting styles and arrangements can differ widely from family to family to suit their individual needs. However, most all professionals agree that co-parenting will only succeed if some basic commitments are made. Equally important, significant mistakes must be avoided. Here are some good rules to follow: 1. Don't deny your child personal time with both of their parents. To help your child defeat the challenges and disruptions that come with divorce, remember this. Give them

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What If Your Kids Resist Divorce Visits ...

What If Your Kids Resist Divorce Visits With Their Other Parent?
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Parenting after divorce is always challenging, especially when your children act out. One big issue is handling children if they resist visitation with their other parent. Many factors come into play when this occurs. Here are some questions to ask yourself which can help you determine the source of the problem. They’ll also help you understand the reasons why your children are resisting post-divorce contact with their other parent. For simplification purposes, I’m using Dad as the example. However, this happens to fathers and mothers alike depending on their prior and post-divorce relationships. Questions for parental self-reflection Are the kids feeling guilty or disloyal when leaving your presence? This can easily influence their feelings toward spending time with their Dad. Have they been privy to information, slurs or other comments that make them dislike their Dad? Do they hear you complain about him to family or

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Divorced? 5 Valuable Life Lessons to Mas...

Divorced? 5 Valuable Life Lessons to Master Now
parenting after divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce affects everyone differently and its impact lingers with us for different periods of time. But there’s one thing that never changes: the aftermath of divorce can be a sense of self-discovery or internment in a self-made prison of depression and resentment. What influences us the most is how well we accept what is and our determination to use the divorce as a pathway to a new and better life. The good news: it’s all up to us. We can create an attitude of positive expectation or we can subjugate ourselves to months and years of self-pity and despair down the road. The bad news: it’s not always easy to change our attitude or perspective on life. But if you do, you’ll be rewarded with a happier future for yourself as well as your children. Here are some vital

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Co-Parenting With An Addict After Divorc...

Co-Parenting With An Addict After Divorce: Advice For Both Parents!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Getting divorced and then co-parenting is especially challenging for parents who are coping with addiction issues. Or find themselves co-parenting with an addict. This is even more complicated if one or both parents are not fully dependable, trustworthy or responsible. 6 Challenges That Complicate the Co-Parenting  Experience Difficulties can be compounded by the many issues all parents face following a divorce. This includes one or both parents …   1)  Giving the raw emotions resulting from the divorce an active voice in this new stage in their lives. 2)  Bringing previous baggage from the marriage into play. Ongoing conflicts, differing styles of communication, unresolved issues and continual frustrations can hinder negotiating a co-parenting plan. 3)  Vying for the respect and love of the children. It can be tempting to make parenting decisions in ways that win them popularity with the kids. 4)  Letting anger and resentment

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Divorced Parents: Communicate Compassion...

Divorced Parents: Communicate Compassionately With Your Kids  For a Happier Outcome!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC   During and after divorce your children may be hyper-sensitive about many things. What may have formerly been routine conversations, questions or activities can now be touchy subjects fraught with anxiety, resentment or ager. This is understandable when you consider that the stability of the world they knew has been dramatically altered. Minor insecurities can easily grow into major problems. Children may regress in their behaviors and skills. Some become more clinging – others more aloof – depending on their adaptability and perspective about the divorce.   This is the time to focus on good parent/child communication. You can reinforce or rebuild trust, security and confidence that things will be okay again – despite the changes inflicted by your divorce.   Here are some solid tips for more effective communication with your children. Master them today and they will work on your behalf for years and

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Parent/Child Communication Is Even More ...

Parent/Child Communication Is Even More Crucial After Divorce!
Communication with your child is essential. By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC It’s no secret that one of the biggest challenges a parent faces after divorce is staying in good communication with your children. All parents struggle with communication issues as their children grow. However, children who have had their lives dramatically altered by separation or divorce need even more attention. Plus, diligent and consistent observation by their parents. Children tend not to tell you when they are angry, resentful, confused, hurt or depressed. Instead, they reflect their problems through their behavior. Often they will act out. Other kids may regress or turn inward in ways that you have not experienced prior to the divorce. Take time to see the world through your children’s eyes. You will be better able to meet their needs and understand their confusion or aggression. Then you can find appropriate ways to resolve

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How Parental Conflict Harms Children Lon...

How Parental Conflict Harms Children Long After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC In a newsletter from Dr. Mark Goulston, he makes a disturbing point. “When asked to  choose between their parents being nicer to them or more loving towards each other, most teenagers pick the latter. The animosity between parents is very painful to their children.” Stop and think about that for a moment. Teenagers would sacrifice receiving more love from their parents if they could assure their parents got along better with one another. This reinforces what most mental health professionals have long known. Parental conflict is a source of continual pain for our children – whether the parents are married or divorced! As a Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach and Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network for parents, this is extremely important. I want both parents to fully understand the impact of parental discord upon your children. That’s why I ask every client: Do you love your

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How Blended Family Challenges Impact Par...

How Blended Family Challenges Impact Parents & Children!
Divorce and the Blended Family By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC There are twenty million blended families in the United States alone. That number has more than doubled over the past twenty years. Some project that blended families will become the norm, or at least a majority, within the next decade. Regardless of the statistics, blended families are a growing reality in our society. Blended family challenges can be overwhelming if not handled with awareness and sensitivity for all concerned. Whether you’re a step-parent, step-child or step-sibling, you face issues that other families do not encounter. 10 Tips For Parents & New Partners! Here are some suggestions especially for parents and their partners entering a blended family. They will help minimize problems and tension within your new family unit. 1. BE PATIENT: Don’t expect to be the Brady Bunch right from the start. Allow your family members time

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