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Moving through or beyond Divorce?

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Success Strategies for Effective Post-Di...

Success Strategies for Effective Post-Divorce Parent-Child Communication
Parent-child communication after divorce really matters. By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC It’s no secret that one of the biggest challenges a divorced parent faces is maintaining good communication with your children. Obviously all parents struggle with communication issues as their children grow, but children who have had their lives dramatically altered by separation or divorce need even more attention – and diligent observation by their parents. Children tend not to tell you when they are angry, resentful, confused, hurt or depressed. Instead they reflect their problems through their behavior – acting out or perhaps turning inward in ways that you may not have experienced prior to the divorce. Here are some tips that most professionals agree are good ways to encourage positive and productive post-divorce communication between you and your children. Many of these are obvious or natural behaviors. Some can easily be forgotten or overlooked amid

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4 Ways To Ease Divorce Transitions For Y...

4 Ways To Ease Divorce Transitions For Your Kids
Children affected by Divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC During divorce proceedings parenting plans and contact schedules are usually established to create a semblance of routine in this new chapter of family life. I am a strong believer in co-parenting whenever possible to serve the best interest of your children. Sometimes parallel parenting is the norm, meaning you both parent the children but with minimum communication between parents. Keep in mind that your kids pick up on the emotional energy around their parents and life after divorce is smoother and easier for them when their parents behave with civility and maturity. However you work out your shared parenting  plan, it’s the reality of post-divorce daily life that puts co-parents to the test. Here are 4 ways to ease the process for everyone involved. Be patient with one another. Starting any new schedule in life is never easy. Chances

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Divorced Parents: 6 Steps To Stop Scarri...

Divorced Parents: 6 Steps To Stop Scarring Your Kids!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Let’s face it, divorce impacts everyone in the family. But it doesn’t have to scar your children if you remember to put their emotional and psychological needs first when making crucial decisions. Keep in mind that every decision you make regarding your divorce will affect the wellbeing of your children in a multitude of serious ways. Of course, the emotional scars are not only harder to see, they’re also much harder to erase. Here are 6 clear ways to avoid scarring or wounding your kids as you move through your divorce and transition into your new life afterwards. 1)  Stop conflict and fighting around the kids! Studies show time and again that it is conflict and tension around children that creates the most difficulties for them related to divorce. It’s not the divorce itself! That means parents can ease the process for their kids by eliminating

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Bashing Your Ex Has Bad Consequences For...

Bashing Your Ex Has Bad Consequences For Children Of Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all do it from time to time. Make a sarcastic comment about our ex, criticize something they did or didn’t do, gesture or grimace our faces when referring to our former spouse. When we do it in front of, near or within hearing distance of our children, we set ourselves up for a hornet’s nest of problems. We have all heard this, but it’s easy to forget or let slide. It hurts our children when they hear one of their parents put down the other. This is so even if your child does not say anything about it. With rare exceptions, children innately feel they are part of both parents. They love them both even when that love isn’t returned to them in the same way. When you put down their other parent your children are likely to interpret it as a put-down of part

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When Divorced Parents Abandon Or Reject ...

When Divorced Parents Abandon Or Reject Their Kids
The emotional toll of divorce on children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Following divorce, most parents are eager to see the children as frequently as possible. Often this desire results in heated battles inside or out of court focused around custody issues. In many cases co-parenting is the ideal option. A parenting plan is set into place and the children are moved between two homes giving them continued access to both parents. While many parents may not want to “share” the children, they often realize this is in their kid’s best interest, and therefore come up with an arrangement they can live with. In families that don’t co-parent, usually one parent has primary custody of the children with the other parent taking the reins on a scheduled basis. This regular visitation may be over weekends, specific days per month, or periodic visits during the year if distance

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Managing Anger & Other Co-Parenting Chal

Managing Anger & Other Co-Parenting Challenges After Divorce
Anger-Conflict Programs for Co-Parenting & Other Life Challenges By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Anger is a natural consequence of a relationship breakup or divorce. But not all anger is the same and it’s important to understand how anger is affecting not only your divorce, but also your life and your other relationships. Is anger seeping into your relationship with your kids? With your in-laws, or other family members? Will anger negatively impact your future romantic relationships? If not handled affectively, it certainly will. No one wants to be in a relationship with an angry partner. But often we don’t see the anger others see in us. Or we feel our anger is so justified we don’t care about how it affects us. Or affects others. Especially our kids! Balancing Our Anger Effectively There are ways to handle, manage and work through our anger so it’s not destructive

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Why YOU – Not A Divorce Judge – Should R

Why YOU – Not A Divorce Judge – Should Resolve Child Custody Disputes!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Judges and others in the divorce judicial system mean well. However, they are burdened with too many cases to unravel the complexities involved for each family. That leads to serious complications, injustice and errors. Consequently it is wise to do everything you can to stay out of court when settling child custody issues and disputes. Based on speaking to many family law attorneys I believe that situations work out best, long-term, when decisions are made by the parents themselves rather than being left to the legal system. Most parents continue to co-parent their children after divorce. Except for circumstances where children are at risk, both parents have the responsibility to put the their children first by working out a parenting plan that is in the children’s best interests. Having trouble agreeing on a plan that works for both parents and the kids? Remember: If you are

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Children and Divorce: 5 Keys To Help You...

Children and Divorce: 5 Keys To Help Your Kids Thrive
Make smart parenting decisions after divorce. By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC No one plans to get divorced. But more than one million children in the U.S. will experience its affects this year alone. Divorce has become relatively mainstream in our culture, but that doesn’t make it easier for the parents or children involved. Consequently, innocent kids are coping with the consequences every day. The good news is that divorce need not wound and scar your children if you put their emotional and psychological needs first when making crucial decisions. It’s misguided parents – angry, resentful, hurt and mistrusting – who unintentionally set their children up for painful outcomes. These parents don’t understand that every decision they make regarding their divorce will affect the wellbeing of their children in countless ways. The emotional scars are not only harder to see, they’re also much harder to erase. Here are

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How Children of Divorce Are Affected By ...

How Children of Divorce Are Affected By Parental Anger & Conflict
Parents Fighting Around Kids After Divorce Whether you're contemplating divorce, in the process, or transitioning after your own divorce, there's one thing that's crucial for all parents to keep in mind ... Fighting around the children does more damage to them than divorce itself. That’s why as parents we need to be diligent in monitoring our children -- as well as our own behavior -- to safeguard our kids from emotional and psychological damage. A study published in the Journal of Research on Adolescence* shows that children exposed to constant parental bickering are more likely to be depressed. They are also more prone to expressing other “problem behaviors,” including substance abuse, bullying, aggression and poor school grades. Here are some essential behaviors to avoid during and after divorce to protect your children from the negative effects of conflict on their psyches and emotional wellbeing. Never battle where

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Depression In Children of Divorce – How

Depression In Children of Divorce – How Parents Can Help
Divorce hard for children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce has many effects on children. No two children will react in exactly the same way. That’s why parents need to be diligent about watching for signs and indications that your child may be having problems coping with their new reality. Depression is one of the more common reactions we see in children of divorce. Unfortunately, many parents entirely miss or misinterpret the signs of depression. It can take many forms including behavior that is distancing, lethargic and withdrawn. This is often accompanied by a drop in school grades. But depression can also show in other ways, such as agitation, frustration and aggression. When depression takes that form, parents are likely to think of it in terms of discipline problems and respond with punishment. It takes maturity and a broader perspective to stand back and realize that your

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