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Child Centered Divorce

The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent

Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC

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Do You Have Anger Issues Triggered By Yo...

Do You Have Anger Issues Triggered By Your Divorce or Relationship?
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all get angry when we believe we are being wronged, misunderstood or unjustly accused. It’s a natural reaction to circumstances that put us on the defensive. For many, divorce is the perfect storm that triggers all our anger issues. When we’re parents and cannot manage our anger, it can take over our lives and affect the wellbeing of our children. Focusing our anger on our divorcing spouse can fuel the fire to dangerous levels for everyone involved. Anger is a feeling that alerts us that something is wrong. What we fail to understand is that we, as human beings, always have choicesregarding how we act regarding those feelings. Acting before thinking can lead to mismanaged anger.Once we have reacted to anger, we have allowed our feelings to control us. This can lead to actions and behaviors we never would have taken if we were making

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Back To School After Divorce: 5 Tips Par...

Back To School After Divorce: 5 Tips Parents Need To Know!
Divorce hard for children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Not surprisingly, many divorces take place during the spring and summer. This gives families time to adapt to the changes ahead. But it also makes returning to school a challenge for many children of divorce. Here are suggestions for parents to help ease the transition by tapping into the many resources available through the school. That’s why it’s wise to develop a cooperative relationship with key school personnel. Before school starts it’s wise to inform your child’s teachers about the divorce and any changes in your home environment. The more aware they are, the better prepared they can be to help your child. After all, school is often a second home for children – and that may be very comforting during this time of changes and uncertainty.   Be Alert For Deep Feelings & Raw Emotions You can’t expect

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Divorced Parent Coping With Stress? Self...

Divorced Parent Coping With Stress? Self-care Is Essential!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC There are days – yes, weeks and months – when life can seem awfully low. Often overbearing. The weight can seem just too much to carry. Life challenges related to divorce frequently play a part in these circumstances. And when you’re a divorced parent at the same time … well, you know how it feels! Just know, as well, that you’re not alone. Parenting is tough for everyone, even under the best of circumstances. Parenting through and beyond divorce takes enormous focus and a continuous need for compassion, both for yourself and your children. If you take it day by day, you will find the strength and even the wisdom to make decisions that tap into your innate wisdom and love for your children. But it’s also essential to parent and nurture yourself at the same time. Take a tip from the

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5 Steps To Better Communication With You...

5 Steps To Better Communication With Your Children –  For A Better Divorce Outcome!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC During and after divorce your children may be hyper-sensitive about many things. What may have formerly been routine conversations, questions or activities can now be touchy subjects fraught with anxiety, resentment or ager. This is understandable when you consider that the stability of the world they knew has been dramatically altered. Minor insecurities can easily grow into major problems. Children may regress in their behaviors and skills, become more clinging – or more aloof – depending on their adaptability and perspective about the divorce.   This is a time to master the art of good parent/child communication so you can reinforce or rebuild trust, security and confidence that things will be okay again – despite the changes inflicted by your divorce.   Here are some solid tips for more effective communication with your children. Master them today and they will work on your behalf for years

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4 Crucial Steps To Transforming Your Lif...

4 Crucial Steps To Transforming Your Life After Divorce!
parenting after divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce is always a life-altering experience. But it doesn’t have to be all negative. For many it’s a time of personal self-discovery. For others, a self-made prison of depression and resentment. What makes the difference is our acceptance of what is and our ability to use the divorce as a stepping stone to a new and better life. The bottom line: it’s all up to us. We can generate an attitude of positive expectation or we can choose instead a life filled with the pain of self-pity and despair. The real challenge: changing our attitude or perspective on life is not a simple task. But if you take consistent steps in that direction, you’ll create the foundation for a happier future -- both for yourself and the children you love. Start by focusing your attention on these 4 Steps

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Divorced Co-Parents’ Dilemma: Balancing

Divorced Co-Parents’ Dilemma: Balancing Privacy vs. Sharing
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC My co-parent tells our kids not to tell me about what goes on at home when they visit. Can’t I ask questions? You’re not alone in being frustrated by finding balance in the privacy versus sharing equation. And there is no simple answer. After divorce most parents want to keep their private lives private and don’t want the children sharing too many details about their visit time. Asking your children to “spy” on their other parent puts the kids in an awkward situation. They feel guilty, pressured and confused, especially if Mom or Dad tells them not to share specific information. This delicate subject needs to be addressed between both parents and agreed upon in advance. Discuss sensible boundaries, taking into account the age of your child. Children should be able to talk to both parents about activities, meals or other innocent details regarding their time

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Co-Parenting After Divorce Depends On Sm...

Co-Parenting After Divorce Depends On Smart Decisions
Divorce catches kids in the middle By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC If you’re a parent, divorce doesn’t end your relationship with your former spouse. It only changes the form in some specific ways. It is still essential to create a working relationship focused on the optimum care and concern for your children. Every co-parenting relationship will be unique, affected by your post-divorce family dynamics. However, there are guidelines that will enhance the results for children in any family. Here are some crucial points to keep in mind to maximize your co-parenting success. Respect your co-parent’s boundaries: Chances are your former spouse has a different parenting style than you, with some conflicting rules. Rather than stress yourself about these differences, learn to accept that life is never consistent and it may actually be beneficial for your kids to experience other ways of doing things. Step back from micro-managing

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Parents: Don’t Overlook Your Child’s Rea

Parents: Don’t Overlook Your Child’s Reaction To Your Divorce!
Be aware of the emotional toll of divorce on children! By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC: Parenting is always complex. Parenting following a divorce can add many other layers of distraction and confusion to the mix. That makes it even more important for parents to be aware of how their children are responding to the divorce. Misunderstanding your child’s stage of development One common error parents make is misunderstanding their child’s stage of development. That can lead to irrational and unrealistic expectations. Too often parents will assume that their child has a better handle on their emotions and a deeper understanding of human nature than is really possible at their age. So when their child acts out or otherwise misbehaves, it’s easy to misinterpret their intentions. Parents mistakenly see children, even teens, as little adults who bring adult reasoning and comprehension to daily circumstances. With that mindset, it’s

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Divorcing Parents: Don’t See Divorce As

Divorcing Parents: Don’t See Divorce As a Failure
Family Portrait By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all know divorce marks the end of a marital relationship. But when children are involved, it need not mean the end of the family. This is an important distinction for both parents and children to grasp. It can affect how that family is impacted by the divorce. Too often in our culture we look at divorce as a failure. That negative label puts an added emotional burden on parents when they are already feeling vulnerable, ashamed, anxious and confused. Rather than reflecting failure, divorce can be a solution for families. This is especially true for families that have been living with tension, anger, disrespect or other highly charged emotions. For those families divorce may become an intervention. It changes the form of a family, but need not mean the end of that family from a child's eyes. Parents who

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10 Key Questions Divorced Co-Parents Mus...

10 Key Questions Divorced Co-Parents Must Answer If You Really Love Your Kids!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorced parents face challenges that are not only complex; they are long lasting as well. There are many variations of joint parenting, co-parenting and other forms of divorced parenting based on how well both parents get along, their geographical proximity, the age of the children and other contributing factors. Every decision made will affect the children involved -- and the impact can be detected in children’s behavior, attitudes and levels of self-esteem. To help parents co-parent more effectively I’ve created a list of significant questions to ask yourselves. I share these during mentoring sessions with parents not only before, but long after the divorce as well. If you sit together and discuss these questions, or review them during mediation, it can help you avoid serious mistakes and unnecessary strife now and well into the future. The more honest you are with yourself and your former spouse,

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