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Child Centered Divorce
The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent
Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC
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Keep Unconscious Unparenting From Scarri...

Keep Unconscious Unparenting From Scarring Your Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Too many divorces are being scarred by "Unconscious Unparenting!" -- leaving the children to pay the price! Why is the concept of Child-Centered, Amicable or Collaborative Divorce so threatening for some?  Perhaps because it suggests having to own the part we played in the dissolution of our marriage. Perhaps because it means we can't play the victim -- venting about the horrible person we married while craving sympathy from anyone who will listen. Maybe it's threatening because it means we have to take our children into account and step up to co-parenting maturely with the other parent that our kids also love. Avoiding the Win/Lose Battle No doubt, cooperative, conscious, mindful divorce isn't an easy path and unconscious un-parenting can have its appeal. The goal in our misguided legal system too often is simply  "winning" -- which comes at the expense of the other parent "losing."

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Clear Parent/Child Communication Essenti...

Clear Parent/Child Communication Essential After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Children tend not to tell you when they are angry, resentful, confused, hurt or depressed. Instead, they reflect their problems through their behavior - acting out or perhaps turning inward in ways that you have not experienced prior to the divorce. Check out these tips for seeing the world through your child's eyes and communicating effectively with them during and after divorce: 1. Asking why can be intimidating and close off your conversation. Instead, ask what happened questions, which keep the dialogue open. 2. Be patient. Don't react or respond until you get the full message. Sometimes it takes some meandering for your child to reach the crucial point of what they want to say. Don't shut them off too soon! 3.  Remember that preaching, moralizing or "parenting" comments can put up barriers to clear communication. Listening is your most valuable skill and tool. 4.  Watch

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Protecting Children Starts with Accounta...

Protecting Children Starts with Accountability: Co-Parenting Safeguards to Adapt for Child Abuse Prevention Month
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC April is Child Abuse Prevention Month, a time to think about protecting our children not only from overt harm. It’s equally important to focus on avoiding the emotional wounds that can stem from unchecked conflict between parents. Accountability, as well as consistency and respect, are safeguards that shape a child’s sense of security and well-being. Adapting these principles to co-parenting with a mindset rooted in protection and love can make all the difference in daily life for children of divorce. Keep the Focus Where It Belongs: On The Children When tensions rise, remind yourself: This is about the children, not the relationship that ended. Filter every decision through a simple question: “Will this help or hurt my child’s stability?” Avoid making parenting choices out of resentment or competition. Stay child-centered in your communication and planning rather than revisiting old grievances or wounds. Practice Accountability, Not Blame Accountability begins with

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Find the Gift in Your Divorce — Some Que

Find the Gift in Your Divorce — Some Questions To Ask Yourself!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When we are in the midst of life trauma it is very difficult to experience anything but the pain, disappointment, hurt and anguish related to that experience. That’s only natural. But very often, looking back in hindsight, we can find meaning, relevance, valuable lessons and insights that were the direct result of those major life challenges.  Without that life-altering event, we would not become the people we are today. I look upon that result as the gift I received from the experience and the wisdom gleaned. It became the turning point I needed to move on to a new chapter in my life. I look back and can say the lesson was tough, but I don’t regret it in the least. In fact, I am grateful. For me divorce can be looked upon as a gift and life lesson when I choose to look for the

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Telling Your Kids About Your Divorce? Av...

Telling Your Kids About Your Divorce? Avoid These Mistakes!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Getting psyched up to tell your children about your pending divorce -- or separation? Not sure what to say? When to say it? How to say it? What to expect after the conversation? What to do next? How to deal with your special circumstances? What therapists, mediators, attorneys and other professionals suggest you do and don't do to make things better all around? Well, you're not alone. Having the "divorce talk" with a child you love is one of the toughest conversations you'll ever have. Shouldn't you be prepared? Professionals all agree on some of the most common mistakes parents make when bringing up divorce or separation. These include:   asking children to bear the weight of making decisions or choosing sides  failing to remind children that none of this is in any way their fault  forgetting to emphasize that Mom and Dad will still always

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How Successful Co-Parenting Communicatio...

How Successful Co-Parenting Communication Protects Children Emotionally After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Founder, Child-Centered Divorce Network It’s no secret. Children don’t experience divorce the way adults do. They don’t track legal timelines or understand emotional backstories. What they feel is tension, silence, tone shifts, and sudden changes in how their parents talk to each other. That’s why successful co-parenting communication isn’t a soft skill. It’s emotional protection. At the Child-Centered Divorce Network, we work with parents who want to do better for their children, even when the divorce itself has been painful. As the creator of the Child-Centered Divorce philosophy, I teach parents how communication choices either calm a child’s nervous system or keep it on constant alert. There’s no middle ground. What Children Actually Need From Co-Parenting Communication Children don’t need parents who agree on everything. They need parents who communicate clearly, consistently, and without emotional spillover. When communication is unpredictable or charged, children feel it immediately.

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Divorced? Be What Your Children Want You...

Divorced? Be What Your Children Want You To Be!
By Rosalind Sedacca I came upon this quote from British blogger, David Bly: "Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be." That's the best advice anyone can give any parent, especially when faced with challenging times, such as your divorce. About 40% of our children will experience the divorce of their parents. The outcome is not the same for all families. That's why it's so important for parents to understand that every decision they make has consequences. And these consequences not only affect their children. They also impact their own well-being for years and decades to come! As a Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach, I've found that many parents are short-sighted when it comes to understanding the effects of divorce on their children. They don't understand how emotional wounds in childhood lead to behaviors in the teen years. And that decisions in adulthood are

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The Core Rules of Respectful Co-Parentin...

healthy co parenting relationship
Divorce changes the shape of a family, but it never changes a child’s need for love, safety, and steady support from both parents. Even after the court dates are over, you are still tied together through school drop-offs, sick days, birthdays, and everyday decisions that quietly shape your child’s world. The way you speak to each other in these moments matters more than you might think. A calm word can bring reassurance. A tense exchange can linger long after it ends. Over the years, I have seen how small changes in tone and mindset can ease tension at home and help children feel secure. These simple shifts form the heart of healthy, successful co-parenting communication. Keep the Focus Where It Belongs When conversations drift into old marital arguments, children pay the emotional price. I remind parents often that co-parenting is not about settling personal scores. It is about making thoughtful

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Child-Centered Divorce 20th Anniversary ...

Child-Centered Divorce 20th Anniversary Gifts!
Cooperative coparenting supports children YOURS FREE! MY BRAND-NEW VIDEO SERIES & OTHER RESOURCES TO HELP YOU PROTECT THE CHILDREN YOU LOVE! Compliments of Rosalind Sedacca, CDC and the Child-Centered Divorce Network!   To commemorate the Child-Centered Divorce Network's 20th Anniversary, I'm giving away valuable resources on all facets of divorcing, co-parenting and dating after divorce. NEW 6-PART VIDEO Series:  Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC ... Protecting Your Children During & Long After Divorce! 6 Episodes -- a $300 value -- your gift from Rosalind! 1: Putting Yourself in Your Child's Shoes to Understand What They Want You to Know! Discover what your children wish you knew about how your divorce is affecting them physically, emotionally and psychologically -- and what you can do about that NOW!  WATCH HERE 2: Preparing For The Dreaded Divorce Talk! It's one of the most difficult conversations you're likely to have.

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Proving An Unsafe Environment For Your C...

Proving An Unsafe Environment For Your Child When Alcohol Is Involved
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When alcohol use creates an unsafe environment for your child, it can be a deeply painful and confusing situation for everyone involved. This is specially challenging when you are divorcing an *alcoholic or co-parenting after a divorce. It’s important to recognize the warning signs of alcohol-related neglect or endangerment early on. Then you must understand how to document and present evidence in a calm, factual, and responsible way. Proving an unsafe environment for your child when alcohol is involved typically requires clear, credible evidence. The primary objective is showing that the child’s health, safety, or well-being is at risk due to a parent’s use of alcohol. This often plays out in custody disputes or Child Protective Services (CPS) investigations. It can also become a central point when parenting plan visitation details are being discussed. Key Elements or Types of Evidence The Courts or CPS May Look

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