Parents: Benefit From the Power of Forgi...

Divorce and the Blended Family By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Today we explore the value of forgiving yourself and how you can benefit from the lessons that life gives us for personal growth. Forgiveness starts by deciding to forgive. That decision frees you to let go of the old hurts. You give yourself permission to release the negative emotions associated with that other person and choose to not let their past actions hurt you anymore. The healing choice is yours to make. When you don't choose to forgive others, your feelings of resentment, hurt and humiliation continue being an active part of your life. Unless you forgive yourself, your feelings of guilt and shame will continue to entrap you! Start by forgiving yourself right now for any actions you may regret. We all would do better if we knew better. Now that you do know better, make a conscious choice to

Child-Centered Divorce

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Sobriety and Custody: How Long Do You Have to Be Sober to Get Custody of a Child?

Protecting every child’s well-being is the guiding principle in any custody process. While sobriety is often an important factor, there is no fixed or universally mandated length of sobriety required to gain or regain custody. Consequently, many parents find that sobriety monitoring technology like Soberlink provides valuable help. It turns worry, guesswork, and “he said/she said” conflict into clear, timely, objective information. That clarity can make parenting time safer, reduce stress for kids, and support healthier coparenting. Family courts nationwide primarily focus on the child’s best interests, which includes ensuring a safe, stable and nurturing environment. Here are some key points that play a serious role in making sobriety and custody decisions: Best Interest of the Child: Courts evaluate if the parent can provide a safe and stable home. Sobriety is part of proving the parent can care responsibly for the child. Length of Sobriety: While there is no set

Child-Centered Divorce, Divorce Court

Are You Holding Onto Grudges Post-Divorce?

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." Gandhi Divorce can be a major stumbling block to our happiness and personal growth. Holding grudges and resentments has been proven to be harmful to your physical health and emotional well-being. Forgiveness is a productive way to move forward, detach from the past and let go of lingering hurts so you can experience a healthier, more promising future. It is not uncommon to resent the people closest to us. Often they have done us some harm such as violating our trust through a lie, betrayal, deceit or abuse. However, resentment comes at a big cost to you! When you can't let go of hurt and anger, it builds into a resentment or grudge. That feeling can take hold of you, growing to envelop your whole life and all of

Parenting After Divorce

Attentive Parent-Child Communication Crucial For Post-Divorce Success!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC It's no secret that one of the biggest challenges divorced parents face is staying in good communication with your children. Obviously, all parents struggle with communication issues as their children grow. But children whose lives are dramatically altered by separation or divorce need even more attention. And diligent observation by their parents. Here are some tips that most professionals agree on to encourage positive and productive communication between you and your children. Many of these are obvious or innate behaviors. Some, however, can easily be forgotten amid the challenges you are juggling daily in your own life. Be Attentive, Understanding and Empathic Take time to see the world through your children's eyes. As a result, you will be better able to meet their needs and understand their confusion or aggression. You'll likely also find appropriate ways to dissolve tension through your conversation and caring behaviors. ·

Parenting After Divorce

Keep Unconscious Unparenting From Scarring Your Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Too many divorces are being scarred by "Unconscious Unparenting!" -- leaving the children to pay the price! Why is the concept of Child-Centered, Amicable or Collaborative Divorce so threatening for some? Perhaps because it suggests having to own the part we played in the dissolution of our marriage. Perhaps because it means we can't play the victim -- venting about the horrible person we married while craving sympathy from anyone who will listen. Maybe it's threatening because it means we have to take our children into account and step up to co-parenting maturely with the other parent that our kids also love. Avoiding the Win/Lose Battle No doubt, cooperative, conscious, mindful divorce isn't an easy path and unconscious un-parenting can have its appeal. The goal in our misguided legal system too often is simply "winning" -- which comes at the expense of the other parent "losing."

Child-Centered Divorce

Clear Parent/Child Communication Essential After Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Children tend not to tell you when they are angry, resentful, confused, hurt or depressed. Instead, they reflect their problems through their behavior - acting out or perhaps turning inward in ways that you have not experienced prior to the divorce. Check out these tips for seeing the world through your child's eyes and communicating effectively with them during and after divorce: 1. Asking why can be intimidating and close off your conversation. Instead, ask what happened questions, which keep the dialogue open. 2. Be patient. Don't react or respond until you get the full message. Sometimes it takes some meandering for your child to reach the crucial point of what they want to say. Don't shut them off too soon! 3. Remember that preaching, moralizing or "parenting" comments can put up barriers to clear communication. Listening is your most valuable skill and tool. 4. Watch

Parenting After Divorce

Protecting Children Starts with Accountability: Co-Parenting Safeguards to Adapt for Child Abuse Prevention Month

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC April is Child Abuse Prevention Month, a time to think about protecting our children not only from overt harm. It’s equally important to focus on avoiding the emotional wounds that can stem from unchecked conflict between parents. Accountability, as well as consistency and respect, are safeguards that shape a child’s sense of security and well-being. Adapting these principles to co-parenting with a mindset rooted in protection and love can make all the difference in daily life for children of divorce. Keep the Focus Where It Belongs: On The Children When tensions rise, remind yourself: This is about the children, not the relationship that ended. Filter every decision through a simple question: “Will this help or hurt my child’s stability?” Avoid making parenting choices out of resentment or competition. Stay child-centered in your communication and planning rather than revisiting old grievances or wounds. Practice Accountability, Not Blame Accountability begins with

Parenting After Divorce

Find the Gift in Your Divorce — Some Questions To Ask Yourself!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When we are in the midst of life trauma it is very difficult to experience anything but the pain, disappointment, hurt and anguish related to that experience. That’s only natural. But very often, looking back in hindsight, we can find meaning, relevance, valuable lessons and insights that were the direct result of those major life challenges. Without that life-altering event, we would not become the people we are today. I look upon that result as the gift I received from the experience and the wisdom gleaned. It became the turning point I needed to move on to a new chapter in my life. I look back and can say the lesson was tough, but I don’t regret it in the least. In fact, I am grateful. For me divorce can be looked upon as a gift and life lesson when I choose to look for the

Child-Centered Divorce

Telling Your Kids About Your Divorce? Avoid These Mistakes!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Getting psyched up to tell your children about your pending divorce -- or separation? Not sure what to say? When to say it? How to say it? What to expect after the conversation? What to do next? How to deal with your special circumstances? What therapists, mediators, attorneys and other professionals suggest you do and don't do to make things better all around? Well, you're not alone. Having the "divorce talk" with a child you love is one of the toughest conversations you'll ever have. Shouldn't you be prepared? Professionals all agree on some of the most common mistakes parents make when bringing up divorce or separation. These include: asking children to bear the weight of making decisions or choosing sides failing to remind children that none of this is in any way their fault forgetting to emphasize that Mom and Dad will still always

How Do I Tell the Kids About The Divorce?

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Parents: Benefit From the Power of Forgi...

4 Vital Steps to Help Teens Handle Your ...

Sobriety and Custody: How Long Do You H...

Are You Holding Onto Grudges Post-Divorc...

Attentive Parent-Child Communication Cru...

Keep Unconscious Unparenting From Scarri...

Clear Parent/Child Communication Essenti...

Protecting Children Starts with Accounta...

Find the Gift in Your Divorce — Some Que

Telling Your Kids About Your Divorce? Av...

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