Guest Experts Archives - Child-Centered Divorce

Co-Parenting with Someone Who is Narciss...

Guest Post from Terry Gaspard At its best, co-parenting is a wonderful opportunity for children of divorce to have close to equal access to both parents – to feel it is okay to love both of their parents. Experts agree that the outcomes for children of divorce improve when they have positive bonds with both parents. These include better psychological and behavioral adjustment, and enhanced academic performance. However, few experts discuss the drawbacks of co-parenting when one parent is hands-off, has a high conflict personality; or a personality disorder such as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. What is the solution for parents who want to co-parent with an ex who is narcissistic or challenging? According to Dr. Edward Kruk, Ph.D., “Parallel Parenting is an arrangement in which divorced parents are able to co-parent by means of disengaging from each other, and having limited contact, in situations where they have demonstrated that they

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Why Staying In A Bad Relationship Is Worse For Your Children

Parents Fighting Around Kids After Divorce By Ellie Hayes Relationships are not easy. Having to balance our own needs with that of another person can be incredibly tough. And when kids are added to the mix, that challenge becomes all the more difficult. Often, after years of resentment and overfamiliarity, couples feel trapped in their marriage or long-term relationship. While they might be unhappy, several factors prevent them from breaking the toxic cycle and moving on with their lives. The fear of the unknown, social groups which rely on your union and close financial ties are common reasons couples stay together longer than they should. But it’s arguably when kids are involved where the greatest sacrifices are made. As Direct Line found out in a recent study, 7.6 million parents in the UK stay together because of their children. Amazingly, as many as 41% of these say

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Damaging Things Parents Do That Harm Children During Divorce and Why!

By Sean Smallwood, Esq. Over the last decade in my practice as a family law and divorce attorney I have seen and litigated just about every type of custody issue that you can imagine. I have seen allegations of domestic violence, substance abuse, sexual molestation, and even attempted murder, however, the thing that that appalls me the most is the utter disregard that so many divorcing parents have for the permanent emotional damage that they cause to their children by their behavior during divorce. Many have said that when two people are going through a life altering event such as divorce that their personalities change and their brain starts working in a way that is uncharacteristic of their normal function. In my experience, I believe this to be very true. I prefer to call it temporary insanity. With all of the emotional angles of a divorce such as betrayal, jealousy,

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Children in the Equation: How Kids are Affected by Divorce

Divorce catches kids in the middle It is estimated that between 42 to 45% percent of first marriages end in divorce. As partners who were once in love, going through a divorce can be extremely painful and frustrating. This experience is intensified ten-fold when you have children. There is no doubt that divorce has difficult emotional, educational, and social impacts on children. That’s why we’re teaching you the importance of co-parenting children through divorce and using a marriage therapist to your advantage after separation. How Kids are Affected by Divorce There are many reasons to see a marriage therapist if you are thinking about or are currently going through a divorce. One of the main reasons is so that you and your spouse can learn how to manage your children throughout your divorce. Here are just some of the ways that children are affected emotionally and mentally

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5 Reasons Why A Rebound Relationship May Be Just What You Need

Guest Post by Terry Gaspard As a newly divorced woman with two school age children, I plunged into a rebound relationship with someone who provided solace, companionship, and emotional and sexual intimacy. Since neither one of us had healed sufficiently from our recent divorces, the relationship ended after six months. While we weren’t ready for a commitment, my ex-boyfriend helped me overcome my challenging divorce and gave me self-confidence. This relationship helped me to get over my anger at my ex-spouse and move on with my life. It was a good opportunity for me to test out dating someone very different from my ex and allowed me to have fun and feel passion. Truth be told, most experts believe that if you are newly divorced, you probably aren’t ready to leap headlong into a romantic relationship. The chance of a rebound relationship having long-term potential is slim because it will take

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Divorce Books Helpful For Children of Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all know that divorce is one of the most traumatic events that can happen in a child’s life. Many people have written books on the subject to guide parents through the maze of challenges that are inevitable at this time. However, it is much more difficult communicating with children directly about divorce. There are a few books on the market written especially for children. None of them are one size fits all. So parents must read through each one to determine which book speaks most clearly to their own family situation. The age and gender of the children, relationship between the divorced parents, custodial agreements and other factors all influence how effective any one children’s book will be for any family. Karen Stanton has written and illustrated a new book: Monday, Wednesday And Every Other Weekend. It’s a gentle and accessible story about dealing with

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7 Steps To Forgiving Your Ex Once and For All

Forgiveness is the gift you give yourself so you can move on to healthier relationships By Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW Forgiving others and yourself is infinitely terrifying yet necessary for achieving healthy relationships. It’s about being willing to acknowledge that you are capable of being wounded and able to risk exposing yourself. It also means that you’re stepping out of the role of a victim and taking charge of your life. Forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood concepts, yet people often express clichés such as “forgive and forget” as if it’s an easy process. However, the importance of forgiveness takes on a new meaning after divorce because no one marries with the intent of divorcing so hurt and shame can run deep. At times people equate forgiveness with weakness and it’s also widely believed that if you forgive someone you’re condoning their behavior. In my case,

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Legal Resources Here is a list of highly recommended attorneys and mediators who specialize in helping parents create a Child-Centered Divorce. I have spoken with each of them and know they share and promote the sentiments conveyed in my book, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? I would appreciate your feedback regarding your experience with any of these professionals. Mark Baer, Esq. Mediator, Attorney, Collaborative Divorce https://www.markbaeresq.com [email protected] (626) 389-8929 Passadena, CA Lori Barkus, PA Family Law & Mediation https://barkuslaw.com [email protected] (954) 349-7988 Ft. Lauderdale, FL Lauren Behrman, PhD Divorce Coaching, Collaborative Divorce Child Specialist, Collaborative Divorce Neutral Parenting Coordination, Mediation, Co-parent Counseling [email protected] [email protected] / www.laurenbehrmanphd.com (212) 799-7921 New York, NY Gillian Bishop Solicitor, Collaborative Lawyer & Mediator ///www.flip.co.uk London, England +44 20 7420 5004 [email protected] Gillian A. Brady Attorney Mediator Better Solutions Mediation(TM) www.BetterSolutionsMediation.com (530) 756-2536 Davis, CA Allyson N. Brupbacher, Esq Board Certified Family Law

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New Divorce View Talk Show Offers Divorce, Co-parenting and Moving on Advice from Experts on Live Internet TV and Radio (via PRWeb) The Divorce View, co-hosted by the Divorce Mentor Team, Joanie Winberg and Rosalind Sedacca, tackles challenging issues while providing support and resources for those going through or transitioning after divorce. Rosalind Sedacca, Divorce & Parenting…

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How to Talk to Your Kids When They are Upset About Your Divorce

A Guest Post by Ben Stich The last thing divorced or separated parents want is for their kids to be hurt by their break-up any more than necessary. There is nothing worse for a parent than to see their child in pain. Yet, it is almost inevitable that the kids will experience some level of pain, disappointment and confusion. Human nature being what it is, it is normal for divorced parents to have difficulty tolerating their children’s distress. As a result, some conversations between an anxious soon-to-be divorced mother and her upset son go something like this: Parent: What’s wrong, honey? Son: Why do you have to get divorced? I hate it! Parent: It’s going to be, OK. Son: (Sniffling). But, but… Parent: Don’t worry, everything will be OK. Son: OK, Mommy. At first blush, it seems like this mother did a nice job of reassuring her child, right? No!

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Co-Parenting with Someone Who is Narciss...

Why Staying In A Bad Relationship Is Wor...

Damaging Things Parents Do That Harm Chi...

Children in the Equation: How Kids are A...

5 Reasons Why A Rebound Relationship May...

Divorce Books Helpful For Children of Di...

7 Steps To Forgiving Your Ex Once and Fo...

Attorneys & Mediators

New Divorce View Talk Show Offers Divorc...

How to Talk to Your Kids When They are U...

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