Relationship Advice Archives - Child-Centered Divorce

Dating After Divorce: Straight Answers ...

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC I applaud parents who are striving to create a Child-Centered Divorce. It's not always the easiest path, but it certainly is the most rewarding in the long-term for your children. It involves understanding and respecting your children's needs whenever you are making decisions about your own life. This includes all facets of co-parenting. It also moves into decisions about starting over and dating after divorce. As parents move beyond divorce and start thinking about the prospect of finding new relationships, there is much to take into account. When it comes to issues related to dating after divorce, here are some common questions I am asked and the advice I suggest. Is it ok to date when you're separated, or should you wait until you are legally divorced? It's always better to take some time to prepare yourself before starting to date - legally divorced or not.

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How To Keep Kids From Sabotaging Your Dating After Divorce!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Dating after divorce can be challenging for many parents who have been out of the market for some time. But it’s even more challenging for your children. It’s only natural for them to be resistant to any new partner you bring into their lives. And sometimes they can be downright belligerent to keep you from dating post-divorce. No matter how much you love your kids, they can represent obstacles to your future love life. This is a reality whether your divorce was relatively painless or high conflict. As a parent you don’t want to create more emotional drama or trauma for your children. You want to protect them from unnecessary conflict and competition for your attention. When you introduce a new partner, especially one who may be a parental figure in the future, be prepared. It’s not surprising that kids will want to express their feelings,

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Divorce Warning Signs – Did You See Yours In Advance?

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC From time to time when talking to clients they tell me they were caught off guard by their divorce. Some even proclaim their spouses left them “one day, without any warning!” I usually respond by asking: is that actually true? Was there really no warning?Upon deeper reflection, in most every case some "warning" signs were there already. Often they were evident looking quite a way back. Consequently, the day their partner left actually took place after an accumulation of many previous warning signs. Sadly they were overlooked or dismissed. While that doesn’t soften the blow of the experience, it puts another perspective on the importance of being aware of what’s going on in your relationship. That means keeping your eyes wide open even when you’d prefer not to “see.” Think back on all the times you felt something was not quite right, but you just couldn’t

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Divorced? 4 Valuable Life Lessons You Can Master!

Cooperative coparenting supports children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce affects everyone differently. Its impact also lingers with us for different periods of time. But there’s one thing that never changes: the aftermath of divorce can be a sense of self-discovery. Or it can become an internment in a self-made prison of depression and resentment. What influences us the most is how well we accept what is and our determination to use the divorce as a pathway to a new and better life. The good news: it’s all up to us. We can create an attitude of positive expectation. Or we can subjugate ourselves to months and years of self-pity and despair down the road. The bad news: it’s not always easy to change our attitude or perspective on life. But if you do, you’ll be rewarded with a happier future for yourself as well as your

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9 Tips For Parents When You’re Dating After Divorce!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC It’s no surprise that jumping into dating after a divorce can be difficult. But dating after a divorce when you have children can be even harder. That’s because your entire perspective on relationships changes after having children. Now you aren't only looking for someone to spend your time with. You are looking for someone to be an adult role model for your children, as well, complicating many of your decisions. Here are 9 important tips to grasp before you start socializing after divorce when you’re a parent. Be open and honest with first dates. Let them know you have children, their general age range and whether they are living with you. This isn’t information you should hide. Being single with children is an important factor that impacts any dating relationship. You also want to find out how your date feels about children and whether they, too,

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Do You Have Anger Issues Triggered By Your Divorce or Relationship?

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all get angry when we believe we are being wronged, misunderstood or unjustly accused. It’s a natural reaction to circumstances that put us on the defensive. For many, divorce is the perfect storm that triggers all our anger issues. When we’re parents and cannot manage our anger, it can take over our lives and affect the wellbeing of our children. Focusing our anger on our divorcing spouse can fuel the fire to dangerous levels for everyone involved. Anger is a feeling that alerts us that something is wrong. What we fail to understand is that we, as human beings, always have choicesregarding how we act regarding those feelings. Acting before thinking can lead to mismanaged anger.Once we have reacted to anger, we have allowed our feelings to control us. This can lead to actions and behaviors we never would have taken if we were making

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4 Crucial Steps To Transforming Your Life After Divorce!

parenting after divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce is always a life-altering experience. But it doesn’t have to be all negative. For many it’s a time of personal self-discovery. For others, a self-made prison of depression and resentment. What makes the difference is our acceptance of what is and our ability to use the divorce as a stepping stone to a new and better life. The bottom line: it’s all up to us. We can generate an attitude of positive expectation or we can choose instead a life filled with the pain of self-pity and despair. The real challenge: changing our attitude or perspective on life is not a simple task. But if you take consistent steps in that direction, you’ll create the foundation for a happier future -- both for yourself and the children you love. Start by focusing your attention on these 4 Steps

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Rebuilding Your Self Esteem After Divorce Is Essential!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce can be devastating on many levels. In addition to the financial and stress toll on both partners, it can easily wreak havoc on one’s self-esteem. Even those who initiate the divorce process can experience tremendous emotional turmoil resulting in guilt, anxiety and insecurity. Those who were not expecting or in any way desiring the break-up can come away feeling psychologically battered, confused and questioning their own worth. It’s hard to tackle these burdens alone. A support group, personal coach, professional counselor or other expert resources will be very valuable in reminding you that 1) you are not alone in your experiences or feelings and 2) there is a brighter future ahead for you – if you take proactive steps in that direction. While family and friends are usually very well intentioned, their support may not always be valuable for you. They have their own agendas,

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5 Steps To A Brighter Future After Divorce!

parenting after divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Accepting the reality and finality of divorce can be a tough challenge. We need to be able to let go of the life we knew and prepare to face an unknown future. That can be intimidating. Here are 5 key steps to accepting your new reality with grace, peace and positive expectations for a happier life ahead, especially if you’re also a parent! 1) Focus on yourself -- not on your former spouse We can’t ever undo the past. But the past can undo us -- if we’re not careful about our thoughts, beliefs and actions. The only one we can ever change is ourselves. Don’t waste valuable time pining about the past, blaming your ex or wishing you had done something differently. Focus instead on how you can transform yourself today into the person you most want to

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Divorce is Tough – Even On Your Adult Children!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Anger-Conflict Programs for Co-Parenting & Other Life Challenges We all know divorce is tough on families, especially when children are involved. In most cases, the older the children, the more complex the reaction and more difficult the adaptation. This includes adult children, as well. Adult children have a longer history in the former family unit, regardless of how healthy or toxic it has been. Perhaps they remember better times when Mom and Dad interacted with them and each other with more joy and harmony. Even if there were no good times to look back upon, adult and older children were accustomed to the existing family dynamic, knew their place in the structure, and felt a sense of comfort in “what is.” Resisting change is a natural part of being human. For adult children of divorce that resistance is compounded by a tendency

Relationship Advice

Dating After Divorce: Straight Answers ...

How To Keep Kids From Sabotaging Your Da...

Divorce Warning Signs – Did You See Your

Divorced? 4 Valuable Life Lessons You Ca...

9 Tips For Parents When You’re Dating Af

Do You Have Anger Issues Triggered By Yo...

4 Crucial Steps To Transforming Your Lif...

Rebuilding Your Self Esteem After Divorc...

5 Steps To A Brighter Future After Divor...

Divorce is Tough – Even On Your Adult Ch

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