Facing Separation or Divorce?
 
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On these pages you'll find …

  • Tips on Parenting during and after Divorce
  • Divorce support, advice & strategies for parents
  • Parenting resources, coaching & teleclasses!
We're here for you & your children
before, during & after divorce!


Meet Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
Rosalind Sedacca is recognized as The Voice of Child-Centered Divorce. She is a Divorce & Parenting Coach and Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network for parents. Rosalind is also the author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children - with Love! This internationally acclaimed ebook provides an innovative new approach to breaking the divorce news to your children and setting the stage for positive parenting ahead. Rosalind also provides Personal Coaching services, via phone or Skype, on all facets of divorce and parenting issues. Her Mastering Child-Centered Divorce 10-hr Audio Coaching Program with Workbook provides valuable insights, tips and advice on co-parenting successfully on behalf of the children you love! Rosalind’s helpful resources throughout this website will help you create the best possible outcome for your family in the months, years and decades to come.
Experts Endorse Rosalind's Book …

"Rosalind's book is unique in that it offers parents an innovative approach to having that difficult and usually dreaded initial conversation with their children and making it as positive and supportive as possible. A parent contemplating a divorce would be well served by reading this valuable book."

Raoul Felder,
Celebrity Divorce Attorney

"Rosalind's brilliant book's non-judgmental, compassionate and no-nonsense approach will resonate with all divorcing parents – even those with the most challenging relationships. It is a critical piece of the divorce puzzle, and a must read!"

Cynthia Tiano, Esq.

"I highly recommend this as more than a book, but a tool to assist children to more successfully navigate the disorientation and maze that comes as part of divorce."

C. Paul Wanio, Ph.D., LMFT, LMHC

"This hands-on interactive storybook is a must for all parents going through a divorce. It is a step-by-step guide for appropriately including children in the process. No parent should leave their home without it!"

Sally Goldberg, PhD
Center for Successful Children

"Rosalind Sedacca has invaluable information to share with divorcing parents. There is no other book a couple needs to help them with the most difficult conversation a parent can have with a child, that their parents are getting divorced. You are VERY lucky to have found my partner in the peaceful divorce movement."

Belinda Rachman, Esq

"Rosalind Sedacca has just improved the lives of countless children. I have practiced divorce law for 44 years and will attest to the importance of how children are introduced to their parents' divorce. How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? gives us something simple and sound to rely upon. There is absolutely no downside to Rosalind's storybook concept. It's all good and it beats anything else that I've come across. In fact, it's great and it is definitely something that the world has needed. The book is a winner and it is also a lifesaver."

J. Richard Kulerski, Esq

"Rosalind Sedacca has made a monumental contribution to self-help resources in an area that affects the lives of millions of men, women and children. After 32 years of counseling people in various stages of uncoupling, I can testify to the urgent need of a "how to" guide for people contemplating divorce. This book offers them a "life preserver." I have already referred my patients to this material and have received great feedback. I cannot recommend this book highly enough."

Beverly Gibel, LCSW, ACSW, BCD

"Rosalind Sedacca's 'How Do I Tell the Kids about the DIVORCE?' is a much needed breakthrough in the emotional minefield that parents traverse when they prepare their children for an impending divorce. The template, storybook strategy sends sensitive, kind, loving and safe messages which every child needs as they prepare for the scary unknown. I recommend her book for everyone who has children and is contemplating divorce."

Jack Singer, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical & Forensic Psychologist, LCSW, ACSW, BCD

postheadericon Helping Children Cope With Divorce: Avoiding the 10 Biggest Mistakes Divorced Parents Make!

Some parents think once they are divorced and most of the decisions have been made, the worst is behind them. Unfortunately, parenting after divorce is a week by week experience. Your success depends on the decisions you make, your attitude toward your situation and your compassion for your innocent children.

You may have heard it all before, but smart parents quiz themselves regularly to see if they are not falling into some of the traps of destructive post-divorce parenting. If you find yourself making any of these mistakes, it’s never too late to make amends. You may have to alter decisions, adjust some behaviors, give yourself an attitude adjustment and even apologize to your children – or to their Dad! Keep in mind, we all make mistakes that we regret. It’s part of the learning process – especially when we’re parents. It’s far better to set the course straight today than to reap the consequences years from now when your adult children ask: Mom (or Dad), what were you thinking?

 

Professionals all agree these are some of the most emotionally damaging mistakes to children that parents make when coping with divorce or separation:

 

  1. Fighting around your children – even on the phone or in another room if they can hear you. It does more damage than you can imagine!

 

  1. Asking your children to bear the weight of making decisions or choosing sides. It fills them with guilt, anxiety and confusion.

 

  1. Failing to remind your children that none of this is in any way their fault. Kids tend to blame themselves for your problems unless you tell them differently.

 

  1. Forgetting to emphasize that Mom and Dad will always be their Mom and Dad and always continue to love them — even after the divorce! Fear of losing Mom or Dad is an enormous emotional burden.

 

  1. Confiding adult details to children in order to attract their allegiance, sympathy or emotional support. Save that for adult friends and therapists.

 

  1. Disparaging, putting down or in any way disrespecting their other parent — regardless how justified or tempting — because it creates confusion, guilt, sadness, insecurity and low self-esteem in your children

 

  1. Alienating or keeping your children from having an ongoing loving relationship with their other parent (for your own selfish reasons!) Often they’ll resent you for this when they are grown!

 

  1. Asking your children to spy, act as messengers between both parents or provide inappropriate details about the other parent’s home life. Let them enjoy their childhood without adult responsibilities on their shoulders!

 

  1. Lying to your children in order to manipulate their attention or sympathy. This is selfish and hurtful. They’ll resent you for it when they’re adults!

 

  1. Getting back at your ex by making decisions aimed at hurting them – even though your children will pay the emotional price (such as moving a great distance away, not inviting your ex to a graduation or other important occasion, punishing them for financial problems by limiting visitation, etc.)

 

All of these behaviors are bound to backfire on you. If not immediately, then down the line as your children grow and understand more about the world. A good question to keep in mind when making all decisions about your children is: What will my kids say to me about how I handled the divorce when they are adults?

 

You and your children can survive — and even thrive after divorce. Think before you leap and give your children the best possible opportunity to face the changes ahead by providing them with security, compassion and love.

back to child centered divorce articles

5 Responses

  • Phyllis Mooney:

    My grandson’s mother is saying terrible things to my grandson. She is telling him if he doesn’t tell her what his dad is doing or who his dad is talking to than he doesn’t love her. She tells him she is no longer his mom and to forget she ever was his mother.
    He is 15 and she has hurt him and caused him so much anguish. He cannot take much more of this from her. He gets so angry when she does this he hits the wall with his fist and hurts himself.

  • I am heartbroken to read your story, Phyllis. This mother is making every mistake and feels justified in doing it. I hope you can maintain a close relationship with your grandson and his father can as well. There’s no value in undermining the mother. It backfires. The best strategy is being the most loving and sincere you can be with your grandson and trust that he will pick up on your genuine concern about him. He knows who his father is in his heart and will keep his allegiance there as he watches his mother try to sabotage that relationship. Be strong, consistent and patient. Take the high road and you will prevail!

  • […] anxiety, have children that grow up happy and well-adjusted, despite the divorce. Parents who make serious divorce mistakes have children who pay the consequences through emotional pain and psychological […]

  • […] anxiety, have children that grow up happy and well-adjusted, despite the divorce. Parents who make serious divorce mistakes have children who pay the consequences through emotional pain and psychological […]

  • […] have children that grow adult happy and well-adjusted, notwithstanding a divorce. Parents who make serious divorce mistakes have children who compensate a consequences by romantic pain and psychological […]

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