Moving through or beyond Divorce?

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Articles

Below is a list of helpful articles that can be used as a resource. To receive weekly articles, expert advice, and insights about Child-Centered Divorce, be sure to sign up for Rosalind Sedacca’s free ezine. Plus you’ll receive her free report on Post-Divorce Parenting. Simply fill out the short form on the right side of this page.

Articles by

Rosalind Sedacca, CDC

huffington-post-logo As Featured On Ezine Articles

 

5 Tips to Help Children Cope With Divorce!

Coping with Co-Parenting Challenges After Divorce: Keep the Kids in Mind

Emotional Effects of Anger on Children of Divorce

Helping Children Cope With Divorce: Avoiding the 10 Biggest Mistakes Divorced Parents Make!

5 Must-Tell Messages
to Prepare the Kids for Your Divorce

Britney Spears’ Negative Role-Modeling Lessons

Before You Divorce – Be Prepared to Tell the Kids

Child Custody – Putting Your Children First

Children’s Awareness Month: a Wakeup Call for Divorcing Parents

Doing Divorce Right – Reese, Ryan and Kids

Disciplining Children through Divorce: Limit their Behavior but Not their Thoughts

Parents Making Divorce Decisions: Don’t Take Advice from Family and Friends

Use your life lessons to teach your children valuable lessons

Telling kids about divorce? Avoid these mistakes

Divorce Without Dishonor motivates child-centered attorney

Baldwin-Basinger would have benefited from Child-Centered Divorce

Child-Centered Divorce: Learning from the Mistakes of Others

Does Divorce Scar Children – or Is It Their Parents?

Divorce Doesn’t Scar Children – Selfish Parents Do!

Spiritual Divorce – Acknowledging Debbie Ford’s Work

Talk “to” – not “at” — your child … through divorce and beyond

When Children of Divorce Act Out – Caring Parents Step Up!

Parental Alienation – A Divorce Disaster Sure to Alienate Your Children

Child-Custody & Shared Parenting

 

Articles by Contributing Therapists

Children’s Emotional Needs During Divorce and Beyond – Paul Wanio, PhD, LMFT

Overcoming Guilt about the Divorce – Paul Wanio, PhD, LMFT

Divorce Alert: Tuning In To Your Child’s Feelings – Paul Wanio, PhD, LMFT

Divorce: Changing Your Perspectives – Deri Ronis, PhD

Handling the Messy Break-up – JoAnn C. Simmons, M.A., L.M.H.C., R.C.C.

Points To Ponder – Paul Wanio, PhD, LMFT

Protecting Our Children: During and After Divorce
– Paul Wanio, PhD, LMFT

What to Do – and Not Do
Regarding Kids and Your Divorce – Paul Wanio, PhD, LMFT

Take Control and Start Your Own Divorce Support Group – Madeline Binder, M.S.Ed, M.S. Human Services Counseling

Never Married Parents: Is Their Situation Better Than Divorced Parents? – Jeffrey Shelton, PhD

Articles by Other Child-Centered Divorce Authors

10 Questions Kids Have About Divorce

Should You Divorce or Save Your Marriage

Explaining Shared Custody to Kids – Parents.com

Co-Parent Communication: Rules of Engagement – Teresa Virani

How To Answer Your Kids’ Hardest Questions

How To Get Divorced Without Going Broke or Crazy: Mediation!

Parenting Coordination – A Missing Piece of the Divorce Puzzle – Cindy Harari, Esq.

5 Rules To Follow For a Healthy Co-Parenting Relationship – Teresa Virani

Divorced Parents Guide to Co-parenting Harmoniously With Your Ex

Post-Divorce Step-parenting and Blending Families: How to do it right!

Divorce With Special Needs Children

Tips for Getting Through the Holidays After Divorce

Child-Custody and Its Effect on Parenting

Do Violent Video Games Affect Children’s Behavior?

Sesame Street Produces Program for Children Affected by Divorce

Attorney Advice For Divorcing Parents

Your Divorce and Teenage Drug Abuse

How To Talk To Your Children When You Get Divorced 2

5 Single Parent Strategies for Communicating with your Child

Helping Your Child Understand Divorce

Change After Divorce Can Really Be a Second Chance – Pat Bubash

Are You Contributing to the Cradle to Prison Pipeline for Your Children?

Child Custody Issues 

 

 

Valuable InfoGraphics

A Parent’s Guide to Children & Divorce

How To Effectively Deal With Sibling Rivalry

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Additional Articles

http://www.childcentereddivorce.com

Numerous articles on child-centered and collaborative divorce issues

http://www.kidsturncentral.com/topics/issues

Divorce articles for children

http://www.relationshipgolf.com/divorce/index.htm

Rebuilding life after divorce

http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/families/divorce.html

Articles for teens

10 Comments

  1. Sarah Moreman Sarah Moreman
    September 14, 2011    

    Do you know of information to help mothers whose children choose to go live with the dad? This is a painful kind of rejection.

  2. September 15, 2011    

    KIds are caught in a no-win situation when divorce takes place. Any time they make choices between parents, one parent is sure to feel rejected. It’s important to choose not to take it that way. To put yourself in your child’s place and see it from their perspective. Sometimes changing parent homes can seem like an easier life for them — less discipline or more flexibility with one parent. That may or may not be the case. Sometimes they feel bad for one parent and believe it would be helpful it they gave that parent more attention. There are many factors that influence a child’s decision — often not logical at all to the other parent. Frequently children choose to move back and forth between parents over a period of years, depending on their circumstances with friends, school and parental rules.

    So today’s decisions aren’t always long-term decisions. But it’s essential for you to maintain a positive relationship with that child, even at a distance. Create a call/ Skype schedule for chats. Keep up friendly email and texting communication, especially when things are going well. Don’t make your communications only about problem situations. Schedule frequent in-person visits, if possible, along with outings and vacation time together. Ask to be privy to school decisions and other factors influencing your child’s life. Let them know you’re still their parent, still and always will love them, and look forward to your time together.

    It may be helpful to see a therapist to vent your frustrations and find new resources to empower you during the time of transition. Life is all about coming from a place of power, confidence and self-love. Work on that and you’ll attract more positive outcomes in your life beyond your role as a parent. Getting professional help in finding your place in the world after a child has moved out of the house will pay off in helping you to find fulfillment from other directions and resources.

    Many of the articles in my weekly ezine and on the Child-Centered Divorce website (www.childcentereddivorce.com) focus on self-esteem during and after divorce so do check them out. If you’d like some personal one-on-one telephone coaching, let me know at rosalind@childcentereddivorce.com.

    Sincere best wishes to you!

  3. Colleen Colleen
    January 9, 2012    

    I’m currently going through a divorce for a marriage of 6 years. We have two young children: 3 years and 9 months (still nursing). I’m having a difficult time finding information regarding visitation for children this young. My husband wants 50% visitation, but is never home and has never bonded with the baby.
    Any advice would be appreciated.

  4. January 10, 2012    

    I suggest you find a Child-Centered Mediator to help negotiate this process with you. Don’t go straight to an attorney, unless they practice Collaborative Law. When infants and young children are involved, often the parents agree to let the Mom be the custodial parent for the first five or so years, to give the children consistency and more security. However, your husband should have frequent visits and interaction with the children so they bond with him if he wants to be an active part of their lives. Through mediation you can discuss your feelings and arrange an outcome that is respectful for both parents while taking into consideration the special needs of your very young children. Hopefully your husband will cooperate when he sees you are being cooperative and not trying to deny him access to his children.

    The tone you take to start negotiations will set the groundwork for future negotiations so get some coaching or counseling advice before moving ahead. Your goal is effective, cooperative co-parenting, whenever possible, for the long-term well-being of your children. If your husband feels “heard” and valued in your children’s lives, he’ll be less likely to insist on unrealistic expectations in the future. If you’re already involved with a lawyer who isn’t steering you into a cooperative divorce, you have the right to question the outcome and can bring in a therapist, coach or other resource to steer you in a better direction.

    I hope this is of some help and sincerely wish you a positive outcome!

    Rosalind Sedacca

  5. Karina Karina
    February 9, 2012    

    Is it healthy to live with your spouse during a separation? We have been married for 13 years and have 2 kids – 7 year old and a 8 month baby… do not want to affect my son since he is a very sensitive little boy and absolutely adore his father.

  6. February 10, 2012    

    What is not healthy is when two parents are fighting or treating each other disrespectfully in front of the kids. So if you can co-parent effectively while living together, there should be no problem. I acknowledge you for wanting to protect your sensitive son at this time and for recognizing his love for his father. If living with your spouse during separation works for you, by all means do that. The problems arise when parents don’t get along and create tension in the home. Otherwise there is nothing wrong with maintaining your family unit before and during the divorce as well as after. You will still be a family following the divorce even when you are living in two residences. With that in mind, your children will benefit from your child-centered decisions.

  7. Deena Deena
    February 28, 2014    

    After one child together, and 27 years together, I initiated my divorce. My divorce was the result of my spouse finally coming to terms with his true sexuality/coming out. (Actually I outed him when I discovered his infidelities). Our son is 13 and wants nothing to do with his dad, or dads new living arrangement with his partner. Our decree stipulates our son share every other week during the school year- and now he states he wants a choice and doesn’t want to be forced staying with dad. I’m finding it difficult to coparent because my former spouse isn’t the man I thought he was. And I’m not finding good information to help me or my son to deal with divorce due to a day parent. Any suggestions?

  8. February 28, 2014    

    Your husband made many serious mistakes which np doubt has been hurtful for you and your son. However, it’s important to remember that being gay in our culture has been stigmatized for many, many decades prior to the past few years. If your husband had been a good father to your son, you need to talk with your son and help him understand his father and his behavior. It isn’t wise to punish dad for hiding his sexual orientation all those years. Help your son remember the good things his father has done in his life and how much dad loves him. He doesn’t deserve to be alienated from his son and you need to do everything you can to heal that relationship which will benefit dad as well as your son. He needs to put himself in dad’s shoes to better understand dad’s decisions. It’s also wise to work on forgiveness and seeing the value of forgiveness for you and your son. It would also be heartbreaking for dad to lose his relationship with his son. Reaching out to a therapist or coach to work with each of you would be very helpful to heal all the family dynamics. This isn’t about right and wrong. It’s about helping a family heal and create a future with respect for one another, even after divorce. Be sure to get the help you need as well to assimilate the drama you’ve experienced. This was a very tough experience for each of you. But you can move past it and thrive if you desire to.

  9. Deena Deena
    February 28, 2014    

    Thank you. I will continue to remind our son about the love his dad gave us both, but admit it’s been difficult to hear our son say he doesn’t like his dad. He doesn’t want to stay there. I understand and have said to him, he has the right to feel what he does and that as he grows up there will be times he wants to be wig me more AND times when he will want to be with his dad more AND more time with his friends from school. Thank you for reminding me to be consistent… at some point I hope his dad trys a bit harder to connect and remind our son of that love too

  10. February 28, 2014    

    I honor your heart-felt response and know how challenging this is for you and your son. I’d like you to watch a video on the subject of talking to your child about seeing their other parent when they don’t want to. I found this to be quite impressive. It’s dialogue from an episode of Desperate Housewives. It’s worth a few minutes of your time and might give you some hints as to what to say to your son. Watch/listen to it here: //www.youtube.com/watch?v=edzeH0izPEA.

    Sincere best wishes to you. Should you desire personal coaching via telephone, I’m always available.

    Rosalind Sedacca

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