Rosalind Sedacca, Author at Child-Centered Divorce

Parental Alienation and Divorce Conflict...

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC It’s all too common to find parents who rage about their ex after the divorce. This usually includes venting about the other parent’s parenting skills. The results can be devastating. We all know divorce conflicts between parents can get ugly. But too often we forget the effects, not only on the “targeted” parent. Disrespectful words, actions and decisions take their toll on your innocent children! This becomes a form of parental alienation. PA is a serious and complex set of behaviors. They are designed to win the favor of one parent against the other. In most cases, that parent feels fully justified in their behaviors. They refuse to see or acknowledge the harm in the alienation. When kids get caught in the middle ... Of course, the biggest consequence is that the children get caught in the middle. They are often confused by hurtful and disrespectful

Parenting After Divorce

When Children Of Divorce Resist Time With Their Other Parent

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Parenting after divorce is always challenging, especially when your children act out. One big issue is handling children if they resist visitation with their other parent. Many factors come into play. Here are some pertinent questions to ask yourself to help you determine the source of the problem. And then understand why your children are resisting contact with their Mom or Dad. 1. Are you showing signs of depression or neediness? Have you been talking about missing your kids so much they are afraid to leave you? This creates a guilt mind-set in the home. Your kids take on the parenting role and feel guilty loving or wanting to be with their other parent. If this is the case, you are doing them an injustice and robbing them of the joys of having two parents to love. 2. Have they been privy to information, slurs or

Parenting After Divorce

6 “Other Woman/Man” Mistakes Divorcing Parents Must Never Make!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When there’s an “other woman” (OW) in the picture, divorce can be vastly more complicated for parents. (Of course, it’s the same with the “other man.”) However, the challenges that can come with the "other woman” don't change the parenting rules. Affairs and new relationship partners mean you’re coping with tremendous emotional turmoil. And you deserve to be heard, validated and treated with great compassion at this time. But your kids deserve great compassion as well! When you’re a parent it is essential that you don’t make the big “never do” mistakes. It’s especially important when talking to your children and dealing with the OW – as tempting as it may be to do otherwise. That's the foundation of a successful child-centered divorce. Here are 6 damaging behaviors and “never do” mistakes you must avoid to show you love your kids more than you hate the

Child-Centered Divorce

6 Crucial Steps To Co-Parenting Success After Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC While moving through divorce can seem like an insurmountable obstacle, for many parents it is just the beginning of a new and equally intimidating challenge: co-parenting your children. Hats off to all of you who have chosen to remain in your children’s lives as co-parents. It means both of you care deeply about your children. And you both want to continue raising them in the least-disruptive possible manner. Of course, not all parents can share the co-parenting process in this way. For some couples it is not appropriate to even attempt it. But other couples are determined to co-parent and choose cooperative options. They want to live relatively close to one another so as not to disturb the school, sports and other related schedules of their children. They certainly deserve credit and acknowledgement. This is a complex topic that can’t be glossed over with a few

Parenting After Divorce

Using Family Photos To Support And Protect Children of Divorce

Cooperative coparenting supports children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC I read a poignant comment on a blog recently written by a married mother of three. She was a child of divorce whose father moved out of the home when she was four. She talks about having very few pictures of herself as a child and only one of her mother and father together. Her grandfather found and gave her the photo just a few years ago. She framed it and has proudly displayed it in her home for her own children to see. She explains how special that one photo of her with Mom and Dad is to her. It shows a little girl sitting happily on a lawn with her “real” family – before the divorce. This woman grieves that she has no other photographs of her father and so few pictures of her childhood. She

How Do I Tell the Kids About The Divorce?

5 Pitfalls to Avoid When Telling Kids About Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Facing divorce and stymied about how to tell your kids? Wondering how it will affect them? Worried about hurting them with the news? When’s the best time to talk? What to say and not say? What they will say? Not sure just what to confide? Well, you’re not alone. There’s no doubt this might be one of the most difficult conversations you’ll ever have. It’s a talk your children won’t want to have – and you must be prepared. Here are the five mistakes most commonly made by parents regarding the divorce talk. Be sure you don’t add stress to your children’s lives by making these errors. You'll find answers to the other questions on my blog at ChildCenteredDivorce.com. 1. Exposing your children to parental conflict or fighting. Studies show that this does more damage to children than any other factor in their lives – whether

Child-Centered Divorce

5 Smart Steps To Maximize Your Co-Parenting Success!

Cooperative coparenting supports children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When you’re a parent, divorce doesn’t end your relationship with your former spouse. It only changes the form in some specific ways. It is still essential to create a working relationship focused on the optimum care and concern for your children. Every co-parenting relationship will be unique, affected by your post-divorce family dynamics. However, there are guidelines that will enhance the results for children in any family. Here are some crucial points to keep in mind to maximize your co-parenting success. 1) Respect your co-parent’s boundaries: Chances are your former spouse has a different parenting style than you, with some conflicting rules. Rather than stress yourself about these differences, learn to accept reality. Life is never consistent and it may actually be beneficial for your kids to experience other ways of doing things. Step back from micro-managing your

Parenting After Divorce

6 Ways To Boost Connection To Your Kids After Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce is often a time for disconnect. It’s not uncommon for you to feel alone, rejected and insecure in the months following your divorce. So can your children. It is important for you to strengthen your bond with your children during this time of transition – whether you are living with them or apart. Children want to know they are still loved, valued and cared about. Show them, tell them and keep in close communication with them. This is equally important during the happy times and the sad ones. They need to know they have a safe place to turn, a shoulder to cry on and a non-judgmental ear when they need it. This is true even if you are not physically together. If divorce has been tough on you – remember it’s even tougher on them – whether they confide that to you or not.

Parenting After Divorce

Parents: Are You Damaging Your Kids When You Fight?

Parents fight & kids suffer during divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC For years, as Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, I’ve been telling parents one crucial point. Fighting around the children is more damaging to them than divorce. Part of having an amicable divorce is giving your children’s psychological needs top priority when making all decisions. In that way you can avoid doing serious emotional harm to the kids. Many studies over the years supports this point, including several in the Journal of Research on Adolescence. Whether the focus of these studies is on fighting over financial issues, time-sharing, child-care or other related topics, the consequences are basically the same. Exposure to parental conflict psychologically damages your kids! The overall consensus is clear. Children exposed to constant parental bickering are more likely to be depressed. They are also more prone to expressing other “problem behaviors,” including

Child-Centered Divorce

How To Keep Kids From Sabotaging Your Dating After Divorce!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Dating after divorce can be challenging for many parents who have been out of the market for some time. But it’s even more challenging for your children. It’s only natural for them to be resistant to any new partner you bring into their lives. And sometimes they can be downright belligerent to keep you from dating post-divorce. No matter how much you love your kids, they can represent obstacles to your future love life. This is a reality whether your divorce was relatively painless or high conflict. As a parent you don’t want to create more emotional drama or trauma for your children. You want to protect them from unnecessary conflict and competition for your attention. When you introduce a new partner, especially one who may be a parental figure in the future, be prepared. It’s not surprising that kids will want to express their feelings,

Relationship Advice

Parental Alienation and Divorce Conflict...

When Children Of Divorce Resist Time Wit...

6 “Other Woman/Man” Mistakes Divorcing P

6 Crucial Steps To Co-Parenting Success ...

Using Family Photos To Support And Prote...

5 Pitfalls to Avoid When Telling Kids Ab...

5 Smart Steps To Maximize Your Co-Parent...

6 Ways To Boost Connection To Your Kids ...

Parents: Are You Damaging Your Kids When...

How To Keep Kids From Sabotaging Your Da...

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