4 Ways to Help Kids of Divorce Transitio...

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC During divorce proceedings parenting plans and contact schedules are usually established to create a semblance of routine in this new chapter of family life. I am a strong believer in co-parenting whenever possible to serve the best interest of your children. Sometimes parallel parenting is the norm, meaning you both parent the children but with minimum communication between parents. Keep in mind that your kids pick up on the emotional energy around their parents and life after divorce is smoother and easier for them when their parents behave with civility and maturity. However you work out your shared parenting plan, it’s the reality of post-divorce daily life that puts co-parents to the test. Here are 4 ways to ease the process for everyone involved. 1. Be patient with one another. Starting any new schedule in life is never easy. Chances are the between-home transitions will present

Parenting After Divorce

Divorcing Parents: Avoid Taking Your Divorce Drama To Court

By Rosalind Sedacca, CD C divorce consequences for families You’re getting divorced. It’s likely that one or both of you are angry, resentful, hurt, vindictive or any combination of other painful emotions. You want to lash out, to get back at your spouse or boost your own sense of esteem. Hiring the most aggressive litigious divorce lawyer you can find may seem like your smartest choice. Your ex is in for a fight! If you’re a parent who is thinking along those lines, you’re making a decision you may long regret. And so will your innocent children. If you choose a lawyer who directs you straight into a vicious court battle, the costs to you can be insurmountable – not only in financial outlay, but in emotional turmoil as well. Think long and hard before you move your divorce battle into the litigation system. It is

Child-Centered Divorce

Lessons About Celebrity Divorces & Co-Parenting!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC In today’s world Hollywood celebrities are major role models in our culture, especially to the younger generation. For that reason I keep an eye on the movie-star set to see what they’re doing in their relationships. It always makes for great conversation within the Child-Centered Divorce community. Too often the examples we see are poor ones. So many celebrity relationships end in ugly divorces and child-custody suits. Happily, however, there are some admirable exceptions. These couples are stepping up to taking more responsibility for their behaviors before and after the divorce. They are talking about the issues affecting their children and seem more aware than in the past about the consequences for children when a divorce gets nasty. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are prime examples of putting your family first. They get together for church, special events, holidays and other family time. This reminds their

Parenting After Divorce

Protecting Children of Divorce From the Emotional Damage of Parental Alienation!

Children are affected by divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce conflicts between parents can get ugly. And too often parents tend to vent or share this anger about the other parent with one or more of the children involved. The results can be devastating – not only for the “target” parent, but for the children, as well. This is just one form of parental alienation. PA is a persistent and very complex set of behaviors designed to break the bond between the targeted parent and their children. Most significant is that the behavior usually feels totally justified by the alienating parent. The problem is that your innocent children are caught in the middle. Often they are quite upset and confused about being told disrespectful things about their other parent. Not only is this hurtful for them, the reaction can cause havoc in the family. Alienated children

Parenting After Divorce

3 Signs You’re Ready For A Divorce – Especially If You’re A Parent!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce catches kids in the middle Is it ever right to consider divorce, especially if you’re a parent? Of course, divorce should be avoided whenever possible. It’s not a solution to marital problems. More like an escape hatch – with no guarantee of a happy ending. If you don’t master the art of fair fighting, using effective communication skills, showing empathy and compassion for the needs of your partner, divorce is not likely to be of value in your life. Chances are you’ll move on to another toxic relationship, bringing with you the same unresolved baggage and issues which are destined to lead to new discord with your new partner. That said, there are sigs that divorce might be the best option for a couple, especially if they are parents. These include: Irreconcilable Disrespect: If one or both partners reach a point

Child-Centered Divorce

Why You Must Let Go of Grudges After Your Divorce!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Gandhi Anger-Conflict Programs for Co-Parenting & Other Life Challenges Divorce can be a major stumbling block to our happiness and personal growth. Holding grudges and resentments have proven to be harmful to your physical health and emotional wellbeing. Forgiveness is a productive way to move forward, detach from the past and let go of lingering hurts so you can experience a healthier, more promising future. It is not uncommon to resent the people closest to us because they have often done us some harm such as violating our trust through a lie, betrayal, deceit or abuse. However, resentment comes at a big cost to you. When you can’t let go of hurt and anger, it builds into a resentment or grudge. That feeling can take hold of you growing to

Relationship Advice

Is It Parental Conflict – Or Divorce – That Most Damages Children?

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Parents Fighting Around Kids After Divorce So often I am asked: Is it divorce or parental discord that most damages children? More and more evidence points at the attitude of the parents being most influential on the outcome for innocent children. Numerous articles by marriage and family therapist Ruth Bettelheim address this topic in ways that are both relevant and, quite surprising for many. That’s because she refutes common misconceptions about divorce and addresses the real issues of concern. According to Bettelheim, “Studies conducted in the past 20 years have shown that on all meaningful measures of success -- social, economic, intellectual and psychological -- most adult children from divorced families are no worse off than their peers whose parents remained married.” Researchers have found two explanations for this, notes Bettelheim. “Children who have to cope with their parents’ separation and post-divorce

Child-Centered Divorce

6 Break the Divorce News to the Kids Messages for Divorcing Parents

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC The best approach to breaking the divorce news to your children! One of the most difficult conversations any parent will ever have is telling their children about their pending divorce. I know first-hand because many years ago I went through the experience. I fought and faced the overwhelming emotions. The deep gut-wrenching fear. The continuous anxiety. The incredible guilt. And the oppressive weight of shame. My son, after all, was innocent. A sweet, gentle soul who loved his father and mother dearly. He certainly did not deserve this. I struggled with the anxiety for weeks in advance. When should I tell him? How should I tell him? Should we tell him together? And most frightening of all, WHAT SHOULD WE SAY? How do you explain to a child that the life he has known, the comfort he has felt in his family

How Do I Tell the Kids About The Divorce?

Is There a “Gift” in Your Divorce? Find the “Silver Lining” and You Will Flourish!

Find the reward in your divorce experience. By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When we are in the midst of life trauma, like a divorce, it is very difficult to experience anything but the pain, disappointment, hurt and anguish related to that experience. That’s only natural. But very often, in hindsight, we can find meaning, relevance, valuable lessons and insights that were the direct result of those major life challenges. Without that life-altering event we would not become the more resilient, more successful person we are today. Many people look upon that result as the “gift” they received from the experience – the wisdom they gleaned, the turning point they needed to move on to a new chapter in their lives. They look back and can say the lesson was tough, but they don’t regret it in the least. I believe divorce can be looked upon as one

Child-Centered Divorce

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By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Children are affected by divorce Not surprisingly, guilt is often an integral part of the equation for parents coping with divorce. No parent wants their child to have to go through the turmoil of a parental divorce or separation. This is especially true for the parent initiating the divorce. Sometimes the internal battle over whether to move ahead with the divorce can go on for years before the final decision is made. Complicating matters is the anxiety connected to breaking the divorce news to children and fear of the consequences for each child. Often, parents don’t want to discuss the divorce after the initial conversation. It brings up anxiety about what our children will be saying and reluctance to hear feedback that will produce sadness, anger or guilt in us. In addition, it may also be difficult to listen to negative comments

Child-Centered Divorce

4 Ways to Help Kids of Divorce Transitio...

Divorcing Parents: Avoid Taking Your Div...

Lessons About Celebrity Divorces & Co-Pa

Protecting Children of Divorce From the ...

3 Signs You’re Ready For A Divorce – Esp

Why You Must Let Go of Grudges After You...

Is It Parental Conflict – Or Divorce – T

6 Break the Divorce News to the Kids Mes...

Is There a “Gift” in Your Divorce? Find

Divorced Parents: Keys For Coping With A...

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