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Child Centered Divorce
The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent
Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC
Latino Children

Magical Thinking: When Children of Divor...

Magical Thinking: When Children of Divorce Blame Themselves
By Paul Wanio, PhD, LMFT For children, there is a fine line between fantasy and reality. Their imaginations are very powerful and they may see unreal monsters that live in closets or under beds which inspire real fears. They will also believe that their thoughts can cause real events to happen "magically." For example, if a child is angry at one of his/her parents and that parent is hurt or has an accident, the child may feel secretly guilty and responsible for "causing" the accident (or divorce) because of having "bad" thoughts, "ill feelings" or "nasty wishes" about Mommy or Daddy. In believing that a person can cause things to happen just by thinking or wishing it, "magical thinking" serves a special purpose for the child. It helps the child to feel a sense of power and control over life. ("If I can make bad things happen, I can also

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Children’s Emotional Needs During Divorc

Children’s Emotional Needs During Divorce and Beyond
When parents are caught up in the drama of divorce it is easy for them to forget the innate emotional and security needs of their innocent children. The following are a list of questions and comments that remind parents about the most fundamental needs of every child in order to experience psychological well-being. They are provided by Dr. Paul Wanio, one of the contributors to my new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? These concepts are particularly significant for your consideration when your family is experiencing the challenges and upheavals connected to divorce or separation. With this in mind, Dr. Wanio suggests you not only consider these questions, but actually take the time to answer them for yourself. 1) How can I help my child to develop a sense of security and trust in him/herself, in people, in the world, and in getting his/her needs met?

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Doing Divorce Right – Reese Witherspoon,

Doing Divorce Right – Reese Witherspoon, Ryan and Kids
Congratulations to Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe for taking the high road when so many in Hollywood choose another path. These two are rising above resentment and vindictiveness for the sake of their children – and in the process they’re setting an example that’s worth public mention. Three months after their split this couple was seen together attending a school function with their young children. The significance of spending time together with Mom and Dad when kids are experiencing the drama of their parent’s divorce can’t be overstated. It provides support, security and stability at a time when the children’s world is falling apart. It takes mature parents to move in this direction. Many therapists call it Child-Centered Divorce. These parents are consciously aware of the emotional, psychological and spiritual needs of their children at this challenging time. They are willing to transcend the personal drama in their own relationship

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When children of divorce act out, caring...

When children of divorce act out, caring parents step up!
Divorce, like life, is rarely neat and packaged. This is especially true for divorcing parents. The reality of divorce comes with unexpected twists, constant frustrations and times of utter helplessness when children act up or pull away. Here are three tips for coping with times when your children are venting, lashing out or expressing their own frustrations about being caught up in a family adjusting to separation or divorce. Diffusing blame. Some children, especially pre-teens and teens, may blame one parent or the other for the divorce. Sometimes they may be correct in this interpretation given circumstances they have been aware of for years (alcoholism, absent parent, domestic violence, etc.). Other times they side with one parent as a result of their prior relationship ... dynamics with that parent. Regardless of why you or your spouse is being blamed, keep your cool. In many cases blaming is a defense against

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Children and Divorce: New book uses a un...

Children and Divorce: New book uses a unique Create-a-Storybook™ concept to help parents tell kids about divorce
Rosalind Sedacca's new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce?, is a "create-a-storybook" guide that helps parents prepare their children for a pending divorce or separation -- with compassion and love. The fill-in-the-blanks templates and family album format simplifies one of the toughest conversations any parent will have. Divorce may be tough on parents, but it's often much tougher on their children. One of the most difficult conversations any parent will ever have is telling their kids about an upcoming divorce. Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, had that conversation more than a decade ago and used it as the basis for her new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook™ Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love! While many books address the topic of children and divorce, none provide a customizable template that doesn't just … tell parents what they should say --

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New book uses a unique Create-a-Storyboo...

New book uses a unique Create-a-Storybook™ concept to help parents tell kids about divorce
Rosalind Sedacca's new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce?, is a "create-a-storybook" guide that helps parents prepare their children for a pending divorce or separation -- with compassion and love. The fill-in-the-blanks templates and family album format simplifies one of the toughest conversations any parent will have. Divorce may be tough on parents, but it's often much tougher on their children. One of the most difficult conversations any parent will ever have is telling their kids about an upcoming divorce. Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, had that conversation more than a decade ago and used it as the basis for her new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook™ Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love! While many books address the topic of children and divorce, none provide a customizable template that doesn't just … tell parents what they should say --

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When Children of Divorce Act Out – Carin

When Children of Divorce Act Out – Caring Parents Step Up!
Divorce, like life, is rarely neat and packaged. This is especially true for divorcing parents. The reality of divorce comes with unexpected twists, constant frustrations and times of utter helplessness when children act up or pull away. Here are three tips for coping with times when your children are venting, lashing out or expressing their own frustrations about being caught up in a family adjusting to separation or divorce. Diffusing blame. Some children, especially pre-teens and teens, may blame one parent or the other for the divorce. Sometimes they may be correct in this interpretation given circumstances they have been aware of for years (alcoholism, absent parent, domestic violence, etc.). Other times they side with one parent as a result of their prior relationship ... dynamics with that parent. Regardless of why you or your spouse is being blamed, keep your cool. In many cases blaming is a defense against

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Child Custody – Putting Your Children Fi

Child Custody – Putting Your Children First
A recent article I read in a Florida newspaper talks about proposed changes to child custody legislation. An investigative committee is being formed to consider whether “shared parenting may be the best custodial situation for all children of divorcing parents.” While I am a strong advocate of shared parenting – it worked very successfully for me – I do not believe it’s the right or only answer for everyone. Because every situation is different when it comes to divorce, I certainly don’t believe legislation should be determining custody outcomes for any family. These are issues that caring, conscious parents should be deciding together with only one goal in mind ... – the very best interest of their children. Unfortunately, too many parents approach this issue as adversaries. When child custody becomes a battle, everyone loses. Parents are pitted against each other and innocent children inevitably pay the price. When custodial

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July is Child-Centered Divorce Month

July is Child-Centered Divorce Month
July has been designated National Child-Centered Divorce Month. This is a time for parents, therapists, attorneys, educators, clergy and other professionals to focus on the importance of putting children's needs first and foremost when divorce or separation is pending. Most of the negative consequences of divorce result from one or both parents making choices that are not in the best interest of their children. Frequently, parents are so caught up in their own emotional drama -- in anger, resentment, frustration and sometimes outright hatred of their former spouse -- that they make decisions based on hurting, spiting or getting even. Too often, innocent children are caught up in a vicious tug of war, whether it be physical or emotional. They are asked to keep or share secrets, relay messages, make choices about who they like best, and sometimes are even kept from contact with the other parent. Parents who do

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Divorce Alert: Tuning In To Your Child’s

Divorce Alert: Tuning In To Your Child’s Feelings
July is Child-Centered Divorce Month Join us in celebrating Child-Centered Divorce Month this July. This is a time for parents, therapists, attorneys, educators, clergy and other professionals to focus on the importance of putting children's needs first and foremost when divorce or separation is pending. Most of the negative consequences of divorce result from one or both parents making choices that are not in the best interest of their children. Frequently, parents are so caught up in their own emotional drama -- in anger, resentment, frustration and sometimes outright hatred of their former spouse -- that they make decisions based on ...