Choosing The Right Divorce Team Is A Gif...

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Over the past dozen plus years, through the Child-Centered Divorce Network, I have met a remarkable community of divorce and parenting experts. Each of them has focused their careers on supporting and assisting people moving through and beyond divorce. It is essential for you to put together a team of professionals before you move ahead with major life-altering divorce decisions. It’s far easier to make changes during the negotiation period than it is to undo a divorce settlement after the fact. Consider All The Options -- Then Choose Your Trusted Team Carefully! One group to consider seriously are Collaborative, Amicable or Child-Centered divorce attorneys. This special breed really cares about helping families avoid unnecessary litigation. This saves couples both money and sanity, especially when children are concerned. Others I highly recommend are Mediators devoted to assisting couples moving through the maze of decisions regarding divorce. They

Child-Centered Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Picture this: you’re getting divorced and you’re angry, resentful, hurt, or any combination of other painful emotions. You want to lash out at, or maybe get back at your soon to be former spouse. Hiring the most aggressive divorce lawyer you can find seems like your smartest choice. You are gearing up for a fight! But stop. Think. If you are a parent, you may be making a choice you regret for a long time. If you choose a lawyer who directs you into a vicious court battle, the costs may be insurmountable. Not only the financial expenses, but the emotional costs as well. Keep Out Of The Courts Think long and hard before you move your divorce battle into the legal system. If you do, it's likely to take its toll on every member of your family – especially your children. And sadly, in the

Child-Centered Divorce, Divorce Court

Overcome Holiday Depression During and After Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Separated or divorced? Thanksgiving, Christmas – most any holiday -- can be depressing. Or bring up painful memories of happier times, especially if you have children. So, what can you do? Keep in mind that with the pain comes a choice. You can choose to acknowledge the past for what it was. You can value the good times you might have had together. Then you can choose to move on and let go. Yes, that’s never easy. But it is worth the effort. Because otherwise you’re likely to get stuck tormenting yourself with all the "shoulds." We should still be a family today. He should be ashamed of what he's doing to us. She shouldn’t be able to have the kids on Christmas Day. I should be over this by now. It should be easier for me to move on – why isn’t it? You get

Parenting After Divorce

Disciplining Children Through Divorce By Limiting Behavior — Not Their Thoughts!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Discipline is always a challenge for parents. Regardless of the age your child may be, they inevitably find ways to act out, challenge your authority and test the limits of their boundaries. Often these behaviors create tension and disagreements between both parents which children are good at exploiting to their advantage. This, of course, is the time for parents to forge a solid bond of agreement regarding their approach to discipline. If they do, the child is less likely to test the waters and more likely to alter their behavior into more appropriate channels. When separation or divorce takes place, disciplining children can become even more difficult. This is especially so if both parents are not on good terms regarding the parenting equation. Parental discord can open the door for children to move into behavioral extremes, pitting you and your former spouse against each other. We've

Parenting After Divorce

Divorced Parents: Made Mistakes You Regret? It’s Not Too Late To Make It Right!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce drives some people crazy. Because of that, divorced co-parents often make many poor decisions. Their judgment, integrity and behavior are easy to question. Their decisions regarding taking responsibility for their children come under scrutiny. There is much we can all learn from these mistakes as co-parents. And wisdom we can take away that is important for all of us to remember: It’s never too late to get it right – when your children are at stake! We all have regrets … In the heat of the divorce drama, we may have settled for a decision or two that we later regretted and still feel resentful. Or we made a child-related agreement that, in hindsight, was not in our child’s best interest – but we don’t know quite how to remedy the situation. Perhaps we lost our tempers at an inappropriate time and watched our children

Parenting After Divorce

Divorced Parents: Don’t Let Your Children Start Parenting You!

Divorce catches kids in the middle By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce is tough enough. When children try to protect their parents by parenting their parents, the parenting is moving backwards and the results are devastating. Always be careful of what you share with your children regarding your own emotional state during and after your divorce. It can create enormous confusion for your children, along with guilt, frustration and despair. Children can be very resourceful in how they behave when they sense either one of their parents is vulnerable or hurting. Often they will side with one parent over the other as a means of support. They may fear that expressing happiness about time spent with one parent can seem like a betrayal of the other. They worry about hurting the feelings of the emotionally weaker parent – or experiencing the disapproval of the emotionally stronger parent.

Parenting After Divorce

5 Divorce Co-Parenting Questions Your Kids Want You To Explore

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Co-parenting brings enormous challenges to both parents. For those not caught in high conflict divorces, it’s easier to move into the co-parenting equation. And much easier to adapt to new schedules, boundaries, agreements and conversations. That’s why the Child-Centered Divorce Network so strongly endorses mediation, Collaborative Divorce, the new Amicable Divorce Network and similar low-conflict options. They keep both parents focused on what really matters long-term: the emotional, physical and psychological well-being of your children! When one gets entangled in the complications of litigation, you are opening the door to court involvement in your family dynamics. This is rarely a healthy situation for parents or children. No judge, regardless of how well-meaning they may be, knows your family the way you do. Their decisions are binding. That may lead you to countless appearances over many years trying to untangle a decision that didn’t need to be

Parenting After Divorce

Co-Parenting with Someone Who is Narcissistic or Challenging

Guest Post from Terry Gaspard At its best, co-parenting is a wonderful opportunity for children of divorce to have close to equal access to both parents – to feel it is okay to love both of their parents. Experts agree that the outcomes for children of divorce improve when they have positive bonds with both parents. These include better psychological and behavioral adjustment, and enhanced academic performance. However, few experts discuss the drawbacks of co-parenting when one parent is hands-off, has a high conflict personality; or a personality disorder such as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. What is the solution for parents who want to co-parent with an ex who is narcissistic or challenging? According to Dr. Edward Kruk, Ph.D., “Parallel Parenting is an arrangement in which divorced parents are able to co-parent by means of disengaging from each other, and having limited contact, in situations where they have demonstrated that they

Guest Experts

Divorced? 4 Valuable Life Lessons You Can Master!

Cooperative coparenting supports children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce affects everyone differently. Its impact also lingers with us for different periods of time. But there’s one thing that never changes: the aftermath of divorce can be a sense of self-discovery. Or it can become an internment in a self-made prison of depression and resentment. What influences us the most is how well we accept what is and our determination to use the divorce as a pathway to a new and better life. The good news: it’s all up to us. We can create an attitude of positive expectation. Or we can subjugate ourselves to months and years of self-pity and despair down the road. The bad news: it’s not always easy to change our attitude or perspective on life. But if you do, you’ll be rewarded with a happier future for yourself as well as your

Relationship Advice

6 Tips For Talking To Your Kids After Divorce!

Divorced parent communication with your child is essential. By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When you’re a divorced parent, effective communication with your children is more important than ever. Which means honing your communication skills so you’re connecting with love, respect and compassion. Candid divorced parent communication opens the doors to a healthier, more positive relationship with your kids. It makes you more sensitive to issues of concern early on so you can nip them in the bud. It encourages your children to talk about what they are feeling. It addresses their questions and situations that are creating conflict for them. How to open the conversation so you’re not shut down! Don’t sit down and say, let’s talk. Find comfortable times and places where conversation can flow naturally and easily. Then bring up related subjects in a casual way. Watching TV or movies at home can often be

Parenting After Divorce

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Choosing The Right Divorce Team Is A Gif...

Want A Peaceful Child-Centered Divorce: ...

Overcome Holiday Depression During and A...

Disciplining Children Through Divorce By...

Divorced Parents: Made Mistakes You Regr...

Divorced Parents: Don’t Let Your Childre

5 Divorce Co-Parenting Questions Your Ki...

Co-Parenting with Someone Who is Narciss...

Divorced? 4 Valuable Life Lessons You Ca...

6 Tips For Talking To Your Kids After Di...

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