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Michael Mastracci is an attorney on a mission -- one he shares with the entire child-centered divorce community. He talks about – and is soon to be the author of a new book about – Divorce Without Dishonor. “A difficult and acrimonious divorce and child custody battle led to my interest in collaborative family law,” notes Mastracci. His soon to be released book focuses on child custody issues and divorce using collaborative law. Mike is quite personable and a good listener. Along with those traits he has a sincere interest in helping parents to resolve their divorce and child custody issues “in a fair and even-handed manner that will cause the least amount of damage” to their children. “I have personally seen the strife that divorce causes in families,” says Mike, “and want to express my concern and compassion for your personal situation.” “Collaborative law does not mean giving away

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October is National Talk to Your Child Month. You wouldn’t think one would need to create such a designation, advising parents to talk to their children. Unfortunately, many parents need just such a reminder -- especially in today’s mega-paced culture in which just sitting down to a family dinner together seems to be a major accomplishment. Too often busy parents find themselves talking “at” their children, but not “to” them. And most especially, not “with” them. This, of course, is problematic in any family trying to raise socially, emotionally and spiritually healthy children. However, it is especially dangerous if that family is facing the challenges of divorce or separation. If your parent-child communication skills and rapport is not optimal before discussions about divorce or family lifestyle changes come up, the likeliness of a peaceful, successful outcome is dramatically jeopardized. For that reason, more than ever before, parents need to create

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Divorce, like life, is rarely neat and packaged. This is especially true for divorcing parents. The reality of divorce comes with unexpected twists, constant frustrations and times of utter helplessness when children act up or pull away. Here are three tips for coping with times when your children are venting, lashing out or expressing their own frustrations about being caught up in a family adjusting to separation or divorce. Diffusing blame. Some children, especially pre-teens and teens, may blame one parent or the other for the divorce. Sometimes they may be correct in this interpretation given circumstances they have been aware of for years (alcoholism, absent parent, domestic violence, etc.). Other times they side with one parent as a result of their prior relationship ... dynamics with that parent. Regardless of why you or your spouse is being blamed, keep your cool. In many cases blaming is a defense against

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A recent article I read in a Florida newspaper talks about proposed changes to child custody legislation. An investigative committee is being formed to consider whether “shared parenting may be the best custodial situation for all children of divorcing parents.” While I am a strong advocate of shared parenting – it worked very successfully for me – I do not believe it’s the right or only answer for everyone. Because every situation is different when it comes to divorce, I certainly don’t believe legislation should be determining custody outcomes for any family. These are issues that caring, conscious parents should be deciding together with only one goal in mind ... – the very best interest of their children. Unfortunately, too many parents approach this issue as adversaries. When child custody becomes a battle, everyone loses. Parents are pitted against each other and innocent children inevitably pay the price. When custodial

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