Skip to main content
Child Centered Divorce
The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent
Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC
Latino Children
Asian Children
African Children
Caucasian Children

How You & Your Kids Can Survive the Holi

How You & Your Kids Can Survive the Holidays After Your Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC One of the toughest transitions for children of divorce is coping with the first holiday season. As parents our challenge is to create new traditions and activities that can replace the memories of family holidays in the past. Here are some suggestions for helping you and your children keep in the best spirits throughout the holiday season. Be Attentive and Compassionate Talk to your children about how the holidays will be the same and different this year. Listen, and don’t lecture. Let them vent about their feelings, regrets and frustrations.  Acknowledge what they are expressing to you and show empathic understanding. Be aware that some children will hold their feelings in as a means to protect you. Reassure them that it’s okay to talk about their sadness as well as apprehension about what they will experience over the holidays. Remind your children that what they are

Read More

Divorced Parents Holiday Coping Tips Whe...

Divorced Parents Holiday Coping Tips When Apart From Your Kids
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC One of the saddest consequences of divorce for parents is the alone-time when your children are visiting their other parent. While short-term periods away from the kids can be a welcome respite for an over-scheduled single parent, that’s not always the case. For many parents the intervals between seeing the children can be long and lonely. This is especially so during the holiday season which can become a particularly challenging time. It’s even more difficult when friends and neighbors are busy with their own family gatherings. Time to be focused on YOU! It’s really important for parents who are alone during the winter holidays to get creative. Absorb yourself in activities you find personally fulfilling. This time of year can also be an opportunity to reflect on meeting your own needs. It helps to reach out to friends. Also participate in activities that bring joy to

Read More

5 Ways To Ease Between-Home Transitions ...

5 Ways To Ease Between-Home Transitions For Your Kids After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC During divorce proceedings parenting plans or contact schedules are usually established to create a semblance of routine in this new chapter of family life. I am a strong believer in co-parenting whenever possible to serve the best interest of your children. But it’s the reality of post-divorce daily life that puts everyone to the test. Here are 5 important ways to ease the co-parenting process and between-home transitions for everyone involved. Be more focused on your kids’ wellbeing than yours. Co-parenting is not about you. It’s about your children’s quality of life. If you have to overlook some annoyances to achieve a more peaceful outcome, do it. For your kids. For the greater good. For your own overall sanity! You’ll work out touchy issues more smoothly if you enter the process remembering this is all for giving your children the best childhood possible, despite your divorce.

Read More

Divorce Co-Parenting Depends On Coordina...

Divorce Co-Parenting Depends On Coordination & Cooperation
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Children are always affected by Divorce Moving through a divorce can seem like an insurmountable obstacle. For many parents it is just the beginning of a new and equally intimidating challenge: co-parenting your children. Hats off to all of you who have chosen to remain in your children’s lives as co-parents. It means both of you deeply care about your children. It confirms you want to continue raising them in the least-disruptive possible manner. Of course, not all parents can share the parenting process in this way. For some couples it is not the ideal situation to even attempt it. Those couples who are determined to co-parent mindfully, certainly deserve credit and acknowledgement. They seek solutions that involve cooperation and coordination between both parents. For example, choosing to live relatively close to one another. That reduces negative impact on school, sports and

Read More

Keys To Rebuilding Your Self Esteem Afte...

Keys To Rebuilding Your Self Esteem After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Communication with your child is essential. Divorce can be devastating on many levels. In addition to the financial and stress toll on both partners, it can easily wreak havoc on one’s self-esteem. Even those who initiate the divorce process can experience tremendous emotional turmoil resulting in guilt, anxiety and insecurity. Those who were not expecting or desiring the break-up can feel psychologically battered. They are often confused and come away questioning their own worth. It’s hard to tackle these burdens alone. A divorce coach, therapist, support group or other related resources can be quite valuable. They will remind you that: you are not alone in your experiences or feelings there can be a brighter future ahead for you you must take proactive steps in that direction While family and friends are usually very well-intentioned, their support may not always be helpful for

Read More

6 “Other Woman/Man” Mistakes Divorcing P

6 “Other Woman/Man” Mistakes Divorcing Parents Must Never Make!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When there’s an “other woman” (OW) in the picture, divorce can be vastly more complicated for parents. (Of course, it’s the same with the “other man.”) However, the challenges that can come with the "other woman” don't change the parenting rules. Affairs and new relationship partners mean you’re coping with tremendous emotional turmoil. And you deserve to be heard, validated and treated with great compassion at this time. But your kids deserve great compassion as well! When you’re a parent it is essential that you don’t make the big “never do” mistakes. It’s especially important when talking to your children and dealing with the OW – as tempting as it may be to do otherwise. That's the foundation of a successful child-centered divorce. Here are 6 damaging behaviors and “never do” mistakes you must avoid to show you love your kids more than you hate the

Read More

5 Pitfalls to Avoid When Telling Kids Ab...

5 Pitfalls to Avoid When Telling Kids About Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Facing divorce and stymied about how to tell your kids? Wondering how it will affect them? Worried about hurting them with the news? When’s the best time to talk? What to say and not say? What they will say? Not sure just what to confide?  Well, you’re not alone. There’s no doubt this might be one of the most difficult conversations you’ll ever have. It’s a talk your children won’t want to have – and you must be prepared. Here are the five mistakes most commonly made by parents regarding the divorce talk. Be sure you don’t add stress to your children’s lives by making these errors. You'll find answers to the other questions on my blog at ChildCenteredDivorce.com.  1. Exposing your children to parental conflict or fighting. Studies show that this does more damage to children than any other factor in their lives – whether

Read More

Parents: Are You Damaging Your Kids When...

Parents: Are You Damaging Your Kids When You Fight?
Parents fight & kids suffer during divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC  For years, as Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, I’ve been telling parents one crucial point. Fighting around the children is more damaging to them than divorce. Part of having an amicable divorce is giving your children’s psychological needs top priority when making all decisions. In that way you can avoid doing serious emotional harm to the kids. Many studies over the years supports this point, including several in the Journal of Research on Adolescence. Whether the focus of these studies is on fighting over financial issues, time-sharing, child-care or other related topics, the consequences are basically the same. Exposure to parental conflict psychologically damages your kids! The overall consensus is clear. Children exposed to constant parental bickering are more likely to be depressed. They are also more prone to expressing other “problem behaviors,” including

Read More

Does Divorce Scar Children? Or Selfish P...

Does Divorce Scar Children? Or Selfish Parents?
Divorce catches kids in the middle By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce is a highly emotional topic. When children are involved, the consequences are far more dramatic. And not surprisingly, so are our opinions. I know many people sincerely believe that no divorce is a good divorce. They argue that children are always harmed by the physical and emotional separation of their parents. Therefore, parents should – for the sake of the kids – just stick it out. They should not consider divorce until the children are grown. This is a particularly prevalent view for many adult children of divorce. Too often they have experienced the dramatic life changes that come with divorce. Many feel permanently scarred as a result. That response is certainly understandable. But it’s not the final word on this subject. I have another perspective. It’s based on the experience of being raised in

Read More

Demonizing Divorce? What’s Best For YOUR

Demonizing Divorce? What’s Best For YOUR Kids?
The Divorce/Separation Path By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce is rarely an outcome married couples expect or anticipate. But marital strife can take its toll. For many, divorce is the chosen path for coping with relationship challenges. This makes divorce a rather controversial topic. Google the subject and you’ll find conflicting perspectives on every facet of divorce, especially when it comes to parenting issues. Of course that comes as no surprise to every mother and father who battled with the guilt, anxiety, fears and insecurities that rear up when contemplating divorce and its aftermath. As you know, the Child-Centered Divorce Network welcomes this kind of dialogue. I participate in many Summits and discussion groups. I comment on many blogs and write columns for several divorce and relationship websites. I offer my own advice and opinions on topics related to divorce and its effect on children. SHOULD WE

Read More