New Year … New Divorce Challenges. Are Y

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Statistics bear it out. Every January the number of couples filing for divorce rises dramatically. And while the divorce rate has gone down the past few years, because of the economy, January is still the month with the highest divorce rate. When you think about it, the reason comes as no surprise. Many couples considering splitting decide to wait until after the holidays to break the news to their children. Others wait to take advantage of year-end job bonuses, if they come, so they’ll have the extra funds to cover attorney, moving and other related expenses. Regardless, it’s not the why that should be concerning us at this time – it’s the how. How are divorcing parents going to approach their separation or divorce – and how will it affect their innocent children? I, too, planned my separation at this time of year more than a

Parenting After Divorce

Emotional Effects of Conflict on Children of Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Fighting around the children does more damage to them than divorce itself. That’s why as parents we need to be diligent in monitoring our children as well as our own behavior to safeguard our kids from emotional and psychological damage. A study published in the Journal of Research on Adolescence* shows that children exposed to constant parental bickering are more likely to be depressed. They are also more prone to expressing other “problem behaviors,” including substance abuse, aggression and poor school grades. Here are some essential behaviors to avoid during and after divorce to protect your children from the negative effects of conflict on their psyches. Never battle where kids can see or hear you. Little ears can pick up phone conversations as well as conflict behind closed bedroom doors. Parents often don't think about the psychological impact of their arguments on children. It changes who they

Parenting After Divorce

Divorce With Children: Communicate Well For a Better Outcome!

By Rosalind Sedacca During and after divorce your children may be hyper-sensitive about many things. What may have formerly been routine conversations, questions or activities can now be touchy subjects fraught with anxiety, resentment or anger. This is understandable when you consider that the stability of the world they knew has been dramatically altered. Minor insecurities can easily grow into major problems. Children may regress in their behaviors and skills, become more clinging - or more aloof - depending on their adaptability and perspective about the divorce. This is a time to master the art of good parent/child communication so you can reinforce or rebuild trust, security and confidence that things will be okay again - despite the changes created by your divorce. Here are some solid tips for more effective communication with your children. Master them today and they will work on your behalf for years and years ahead. Keep your conversations private -

Child-Centered Divorce, Parenting After Divorce

How To Talk To Your Kids After Divorce — and Why It’s So Crucial!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT During and after divorce your children may be hyper-sensitive about many things. What may have formerly been routine conversations, questions or activities can now be touchy subjects fraught with anxiety, resentment or ager. This is understandable when you consider that the stability of the world they knew has been dramatically altered. Minor insecurities can easily grow into major problems. Children may regress in their behaviors and skills, become more clinging – or more aloof – depending on their adaptability and perspective about the divorce. This is a time to master the art of good parent/child communication so you can reinforce or rebuild trust, security and confidence that things will be okay again – despite the changes inflicted by your divorce. Here are some solid tips for more effective communication with your children. Master them today and they will work on your behalf for years and years ahead. Keep your conversations private – at times when others are not around.

Parenting After Divorce

Family Photos Vitally Important for Children of Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT I read a poignant comment on a blog recently written by a married mother of three. She was a child of divorce whose father moved out of the home when she was four. She talks about having very few pictures of herself as a child and only one of her mother and father together. Her grandfather found and gave her the photo just a few years ago. She framed it and has proudly displayed it in her home for her own children to see. She explains how special that one photo of her with Mom and Dad is to her. It shows a little girl sitting happily on a lawn with her “real” family – before the divorce. This woman grieves that she has no other photographs of her father and so few pictures of her childhood. She assumes that her mother hid or destroyed all

Parenting After Divorce

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What To Do When Your Kids Resist Divorce Visitations With Dad

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Parenting after divorce is always challenging, especially when your children act out. One big issue is handling children if they resist visitation with their other parent. Many factors come into play. Here are some questions to ask yourself which can help you determine the source of the problem and understand the reasons why your children are resisting contact with their Dad. Are they feeling guilty or disloyal when leaving your presence? This can easily influence their feelings toward spending time with their Dad. Have they been privy to information, slurs or other comments that make them dislike their Dad? Do they hear you complain about him to family or friends? Are they being raised in an environment hostile towards Dad? Has Dad been mistreating them or disciplining them in a different way than you do? Is the contrast between you two dramatic or extreme? Are you

Parenting After Divorce

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5 Ways to Minimize the Impact of Divorce on Your Children

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Communication with our children is always important, but never as essential as when they are impacted by separation or divorce. Children are vulnerable and easily frightened by changes in their routines. The more you talk to and comfort them, the less stress and anxiety they’ll experience. This is the time to reassure your children that you are taking care of matters and everyone in the family will be okay. Then, of course, take responsibility for doing what needs to be done to assure their well-being. Here are five important ways you can minimize the impact of divorce on your children to help them thrive during and after your divorce. Strive to keep as much normalcy in your children’s lives as is feasible. Maintaining relationships with friends and neighbors provides a sense of stability and continuity. Keeping children in the same school and remaining in the same

Parenting After Divorce

Managing Anger When You’re Triggered by Divorce or Relationship Issues!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT We all get angry when we believe we are being wronged, misunderstood or unjustly accused. It’s a natural reaction to circumstances that put us on the defensive. For many, divorce is the perfect storm that triggers all our anger issues. When we’re parents and cannot manage our anger, it can take over our lives and affect the well-being of our children. Focusing our anger on our divorcing spouse can fuel the fire to dangerous levels for everyone involved. Anger is a feeling that alerts us that something is wrong. What we fail to understand is that we, as human beings, always have choices regarding how we act regarding those feelings. Acting before thinking can lead to mismanaged anger. Once we have reacted to anger, we have allowed our feelings to control us. This can lead to actions and behaviors we never would have taken if we

Parenting After Divorce

Divorce Is Tough -- Even Tougher on Teens! By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all know divorce is tough on families. Everyone is affected, especially the children. In most cases, the older the children, the more complex the reaction and more difficult the adaptation. There are many reasons why. Older children have a longer history in the former family unit, regardless of how healthy or toxic it has been. Perhaps they remember better times when Mom and Dad interacted with them and each other with more joy and harmony. Even if there were no good times to look back upon, older children were accustomed to the existing family dynamic, knew their place in the structure, and felt a sense of comfort in "what is. Resisting change is a natural part of being human. For teenagers that resistance is compounded by a tendency to test boundaries and rock the status quo. Divorce or

Parenting After Divorce

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5 Tips For Reducing The Negative Impact of Divorce On Your Children!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Communication with our children is always important, but never as essential as when they are impacted by separation or divorce. Children are vulnerable and easily frightened by changes in their routines. The more you talk to and comfort them, the less stress and anxiety they’ll experience. Children of divorce need additional attention and support. This is the time to reassure your children that you are taking care of matters and everyone in the family will be okay. Then, of course, take responsibility for doing what needs to be done to assure their well-being. Here are five important ways you can minimize the impact of divorce on your children to help them thrive during and after your divorce. Strive to keep as much normalcy in your children’s lives as is feasible. Maintaining relationships with friends and neighbors provides a sense of stability and continuity. Keeping children in

Parenting After Divorce

New Year … New Divorce Challenges. Are Y

Emotional Effects of Conflict on Childre...

Divorce With Children: Communicate Well ...

How To Talk To Your Kids After Divorce —

Family Photos Vitally Important for Chil...

What To Do When Your Kids Resist Divorce...

5 Ways to Minimize the Impact of Divorce...

Managing Anger When You’re Triggered by

Divorce Is Tough — Even Tougher on Teens

5 Tips For Reducing The Negative Impact ...

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