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Child Centered Divorce
The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent
Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC
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Parental Conflict Alienates/Hurts/Change...

Parental Conflict Alienates/Hurts/Changes Children of Divorce Long Term
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT In a newsletter from Dr. Mark Goulston I read that: “A majority of teenagers, when asked if they had the choice between their parents being nicer to them or more loving towards each other, will pick the latter. The animosity between parents is very painful to their children.” Stop and think about that for a moment. Teenagers would sacrifice receiving more  love from their parents if they could assure their parents got along better with one another. This reinforces what most mental health professionals have long known: Parental conflict is a source of continual pain for our children – whether the parents are married or divorced! As a Divorce & Parenting Coach and Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network for parents, my goal is to make sure both parents fully understand the impact of parental discord upon your children. That’s why I ask every client: Do

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Co-Parenting Success After Divorce Depen...

Co-Parenting Success After Divorce Dependent on Wise Decisions
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT If you’re a parent, divorce doesn’t end your relationship with your former spouse. It only changes the form in some specific ways. It is still essential to create a working relationship focused on the optimum care and concern for your children. Every co-parenting relationship will be unique, affected by your post-divorce family dynamics. However, there are guidelines that will enhance the results for children in any family. Here are some crucial points to keep in mind to maximize your co-parenting success. Respect your co-parent’s boundaries: Chances are your former spouse has a different parenting style than you, with some conflicting rules. Rather than stress yourself about these differences, learn to accept that life is never consistent and it may actually be beneficial for your kids to experience other ways of doing things. Step back from micro-managing your co-parent’s life. If the kids aren’t in harm’s way,

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Ten Ways to Know Your Kid is Coping Well...

Ten Ways to Know Your Kid is Coping Well After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT 1. They look, behave and talk as they always have. Divorce can be devastating for kids, often resulting in anxiety, fears, hurt, anger, guilt and other negative emotions. If your children are interacting with you and moving through their days pretty much as usual, that’s a good sign. Look for any noticeable changes in mood and behavior and address them early on. 2. They still smile, and react positively to time spent with you. Angry kids find it hard to hide their emotions and try to avoid contact with their parents. They may get spiteful, aggressive and belligerent or withdraw into their own space and try to ignore you. Happy kids welcome your attention and enjoy being with you -- as they were before the divorce. 3. They ask questions about the divorce and changes ahead. Depressed kids don't talk alot and seem disconnected from daily

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Five Keys to More Positive Parenting (an...

Five Keys to More Positive Parenting (and a happier you) After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Parenting during and after divorce can be complex, frustrating and confusing. However, every day parents around the world are coping with the challenges of raising happy, well-adjusted children. There are many factors that influence your effectiveness as a parent. Here we’ll review five factors that play an important role in your pre- and post-divorce parenting success. Monitor Your Attitude Attitude plays a crucial part in every facet of our lives and especially when we’re coping with divorce. If you approach your divorce with a commitment to making it as positive an experience as possible on behalf of the children you love, you are on your way to succeeding. What attitude are you conveying about your divorce? Try to catch your thoughts and the way you speak about it. Are you filled with negativity? Are your days consumed with a “poor me” state of consciousness? Are you

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Divorced? A quality online scheduling to...

Divorced? A quality online scheduling tool can ease the co-parenting process!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Divorce is always more challenging for parents. When both can agree about general parenting philosophies the co-parenting process can be amicable and supportive. However, when the divorce ends in acrimony, too often it leads to spiteful, high conflict parenting which can be extremely harmful for your innocent children. It also creates more tension and stress for both parents who want to move on with their own lives. One way for parents stay on track, co-parent more effectively and reduce sources of conflict is to use an online co-parent scheduling tool. They are designed to eliminate misunderstandings, confusion, inaccurate communication and quarrels about the inevitable changes of plans and last-minute conflicts that come about for divorced parents. They also minimize the stress of co-parenting and make it easier to resolve issues, schedule or re-schedule activates as well as plan vacations, celebrations, medical appointments and other routine family

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Divorce and Parenting: Teaching Valuable...

Divorce and Parenting: Teaching Valuable Life Lessons to Your Children
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT  As a divorced parent, what lessons and behaviors are you modeling for your children? The messages you convey will influence your children into adulthood. Here’s valuable advice on leaving a positive imprint on your innocent children.  Bad things can happen to good people. Divorce is a prime example.  Good people get divorced. Responsible people who are loving parents get caught in the decision to end a loveless or deceitful marriage. The consequences of that decision can either be life affirming or destroying, depending upon how each parent approaches this transition. Parents who are blinded by blame and anger are not likely to learn much through the experience. They see their former spouse as the total problem in their life and are convinced that getting rid of that problem through divorce will bring ultimate resolution. These parents are often self-righteous about the subject and give little thought

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The 9 Biggest Mistakes in Post-Divorce P...

The 9 Biggest Mistakes in Post-Divorce Parenting!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Some parents think once they are divorced and most of the decisions have been made, the worst is behind them. Unfortunately, parenting after divorce is a week by week experience. Your success depends on the decisions you make, your attitude toward your situation and your compassion for your innocent children. You may have heard it all before, but smart parents quiz themselves regularly to see if they are not falling into some of the traps of destructive post-divorce parenting. If you find yourself making any of these mistakes, it’s never too late to make amends. You may have to alter decisions, adjust some behaviors, give yourself an attitude adjustment and even apologize to your children – or to their Dad! Keep in mind, we all make mistakes that we regret. It’s part of the learning process – especially when we’re parents. It’s far better to set

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Study Shows Children Are Psychologically...

Study Shows Children Are Psychologically Damaged When Parents Fight
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT For years I’ve been pointing out to parents that fighting around the children does more damage to them than their divorce. When parents handle divorce amicably and put their children’s psychological needs foremost when making all decisions, serious emotional harm to the kids is avoided. Now a study published in the Journal of Research on Adolescence confirms this perspective. While the focus on this study is on fighting over financial issues, the consequences are basically the same: damage to the children’s well-being. The study shows that children exposed to constant parental bickering are more likely to be depressed. They are also more prone to expressing other “problem behaviors,” including substance abuse, aggression and poor school grades. Not surprisingly the study revealed that among parents who were dealing with "money-related chronic stress," relationships with their children were highly tense and lacking in intimacy. Is the tension related to

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Divorce Rules For Parents From Your Chil...

Divorce Rules For Parents From Your Children
Parenting Coordinator and trainer Ann Marie Termini, co-founder of the Cooperative Parenting Institute, has put together a set of rules that every divorced parent should take to heart. That’s because it comes from the heart of children like yours. While kids can’t adequately express themselves, these are the messages they want to share with you.  Read them over on a daily basis until they are deeply entrenched in your mind and psyche. Before making important decisions that affect the well-being of your children during and after divorce, even many years after, refer to this list. Make sure you are not compromising their boundaries or putting them in awkward situations to appease your own needs, agenda and judgments about your former spouse – who is their other parent.  With this list of rules in mind you will parent more effectively, earn your children’s life-long respect and give your kids the best

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