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Child Centered Divorce
The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent
Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC
Latino Children

Celebrity Divorces: Lessons we can learn...

Celebrity Divorces: Lessons we can learn about Co-Parenting!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT In today’s world Hollywood celebrities are major role models in our culture, especially to the younger generation. For that reason I keep an eye on the movie-star set to see what they’re doing in their relationships. It always makes for great conversation within the Child-Centered Divorce community. Too often the examples we see are poor ones. So many celebrity relationships end in ugly divorces and child-custody suits. Happily, however, there are some admirable exceptions. These couples are stepping up to taking more responsibility for their behaviors before and after the divorce. They are talking about the issues affecting their children and seem more aware than in the past about the consequences for children when a divorce gets nasty. Singer/actress Jennifer Lopez is a prime example. She was quoted during her divorce saying, "I feel very proud of the way we're handling it. I really do. We

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Children of Divorce: Let Them Love Their...

Children of Divorce: Let Them Love Their Other Parent Without Guilt
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT We’ve all heard again and again warnings for parents to not badmouth their former spouse to the children following the divorce. Clearly, while it’s tempting to put Mom or Dad down for the way they’ve hurt you in the marriage, venting to the kids puts them in a very uncomfortable position. They love both of their parents and don’t want to hear about the ways your Ex misbehaved or initiated your divorce. But there’s another factor that doesn’t get as much attention worth bringing up in this same conversation. And that’s forbidding or discouraging your children from expressing love or talking about their other parent around you. Kids naturally want to talk about their lives including things they might have done with their other parent, especially the fun times. If they’re made to feel guilty when bringing up the subject of an adventure with Dad, a

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How Does Virtual Visitation Affect Child...

How Does Virtual Visitation Affect Children of Divorce?
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Divorce, like most other aspects of our culture, is being affected by new technological advances. In recent years several states in the U.S. have started allowing and even encouraging virtual visitation as part of the divorce agreement. The purpose is to enable a divorced parent with whom the children are not living to enjoy connection time with their child by utilizing a variety of electronic communication tools. This can include video web chats, email dialogue, Face-time, sharing iPod music, playing iPhone games together or other technological interactions. While many are embracing this reality as a means of maintaining a stronger connection between a parent and their child who is living apart, there are others expressing concern. Some feel these technology-based alternatives are not a substitute for in-person visits. These divorce professionals are afraid that some parents will rely too heavily on virtual communication. They may forgo

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Conflicting Lifestyles Create Conflicts ...

Conflicting Lifestyles Create Conflicts for Divorced Moms and Dads
As a Divorce & Parenting Coach I continually get asked questions from concerned parents. One of the questions recently sent to me focused on an issue that many divorced parents face with mounting frustration. It had to do with this woman’s ex-husband treating the children to lavish gifts and trips when he has them, while Mom is struggling financially. She added that she is aware that she shouldn’t say anything negative to her children about her ex, but she was finding it difficult in the face of her circumstances. The question, of course, was what can she do about this? It’s impossible to provide a specific answer when the so many of the circumstances are unknown in this situation. How often is Dad seeing the children? What kind of relationship does he have with them when he is not there? Is he angry about not sharing custody? Is he resentful

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Family Vacations After Divorce can be re...

Family Vacations After Divorce can be rewarding despite the challenges!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Even though divorce is a common reality in today’s world, it can still be emotionally devastating and difficult to accept. During vacation time adults and children can easily be upset by past memories or former traditions that are no longer part of their lives. This can lead to feelings of not being a “real” family anymore. Accusations, guilt, blame and a sense of inadequacy easily fuels conflict that can undermine even the most festive occasions or well-meant plans. Too often post-divorce families set themselves up for disappointment by making comparisons with vacations of the past. Children can erroneously expect certain family traditions to continue. Concerned parents may try to replicate the close bonds and sense of security within the family – and regret that things are just not the same. Instead, think proactively! Start creating new experiences, new memories and new places to explore. By talking

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Divorced Parents: Don’t Drag Your Kids I

Divorced Parents: Don’t Drag Your Kids Into Your Emotions
Divorce can be devastating when you’re a parent. You can’t just crawl into a hole and grieve, rant or rage. You must still care for the well-being of your children. And sometimes this is a challenge that overwhelms, resulting in parents who can’t cope with the responsibilities of parenting. When this happens, your children pay a high price. And too often, the parents aren’t totally aware of how their kids are affected. It’s not always easy to remember that your children may be grieving as deeply as you are during and after divorce. It’s even more frightening for them because they were not responsible for the divorce nor the complex dynamics that led up to the split. Their fears are compounded by apprehension about whether Mom or Dad will ever divorce them -- and what will happen to them and their family in the future. As dramatically as your life

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Raising the Kid You Love with the Ex You...

Raising the Kid You Love with the Ex You Hate – A Must-Read for Divorcing Parents
Dr. Farber's book discusses the complexities of co-parenting as well as why your child will benefit from the efforts you make in that direction. He addresses the important subject of how, what and what not to tell your children about the divorce and about related family issues once the co-parenting process has begun. I highly recommend this book for divorced parents.

A Smart Parenting Plan Your Best Asset w...

A Smart Parenting Plan Your Best Asset when Parenting After Divorce.
While smart parenting plans make excellent tools for the family after divorce, keep them flexible so that their purpose doesn’t get lost in a maze of too rigid rules. Allow for some fluctuation and reassessments as the family ages and also experiences the day-to-day realities of their living arrangements.