Coping with Guilt After Divorce

Many caring parents I speak to admit to feeling tremendous guilt during and after their divorce. It’s easy to understand why. Parents who are aware of the emotional toll a separation or divorce can take on their children feel torn about whether they made the right decision. Are they being selfish in moving ahead with the divorce? Will this experience psychologically scar their children for life? Will the kids ever forgive them – or their other parent – for initiating the divorce? Are they making the right decisions regarding co-parenting, visitation, communication and discussing all related issues with the kids? These are valid questions to ask yourself. The answers should be seriously considered before making any move in the direction of divorce. However, divorce is never a black and white issue. Changing the form of a family unit doesn’t necessarily mean destroying the family or the love between parents and

Child-Centered Divorce, Parenting After Divorce

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Divorce Books for Children Worth Your Attention

We all know that divorce is one of the most traumatic events that can happen in a child’s life. Many people have written books on the subject to guide parents through the maze of challenges that are inevitable at this time. However, it is much more difficult communicating with children directly about divorce. There are a few books on the market written especially for children. None of them are one size fits all. So parents must read through each one to determine which book speaks most clearly to their own family situation. The age and gender of the children, relationship between the divorced parents, custodial agreements and other factors all influence how effective any one children’s book will be for any family. One book written with great sincerity and compassion is Where Am I Sleeping Tonight? A Story of Divorce by Carol Gordon Ekster with Illustrations by Sue Rama. I

Child-Centered Divorce, Parenting After Divorce

Make Smart Choices for Post-Divorce Co-Parenting Success

Divorce doesn’t end your co-parenting relationship with your former spouse. It only changes the form. It is still essential to create a working relationship focused on the optimum care and concern for your children. Every co-parenting relationship will be unique, affected by your post-divorce family dynamics. However, there are guidelines that will enhance the results for children in any family. Here are some crucial points to keep in mind to maximize your co-parenting success. Respect your co-parent’s boundaries: Chances are your former spouse has a different parenting style than you, with some conflicting rules. Rather than stress yourself about these differences, learn to accept that life is never consistent and it may actually be beneficial for your kids to experience other ways of doing things. Step back from micro-managing your co-parent’s life. If the kids aren’t in harm’s way, let go and focus on only the most serious issues before

Child-Centered Divorce, Parenting After Divorce

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Divorcing During School Year Always a Challenge for Children

The time of year you divorce can play a major role in how your children are affected. Many families experience separation or divorce as summer approaches so they can take advantage of the school break to make post-divorce transitions. There are many other families, however, that make the break in the midst of the school year. There are several reasons why this sometimes becomes a necessity. Many couples considering splitting decide to wait until after the holidays to break the news to their children. Others wait to take advantage of year-end job bonuses so they’ll have the extra funds to cover attorney, moving and other related expenses. Still others are faced with unexpected circumstances which accelerate the decision to divorce. Regardless, it’s not the why that should be concerning us at this time – it’s the how. How are these parents going to approach their separation or divorce – and

Child-Centered Divorce, Parenting After Divorce

Advice for Tiger Woods & All Parents Facing Separation or Divorce!

Whether Tiger Woods gets a divorce or not, his family is experiencing the emotional turmoil resulting from any parental breakup. Celebrity or not, everyone in the family is affected by a separation or rift between parents. Often Mom and Dad are so caught up in their own battles they tend to overlook the effects on the children, especially when those children are very young. However, kids come with powerful emotional radar. Even when they can’t speak they pick up on tension and absorb the discord in their environment. At times like these, it’s essential to watch your children closely. Look for unusual or different behaviors. Listen to their questions and comments carefully. Be there to answer their questions as honestly as you can in an age-appropriate way. Communication with our children is always important, but never as essential as when they are touched by separation or divorce. Children are vulnerable

Child-Centered Divorce, News, Parenting After Divorce

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A Smart Parenting Plan Your Best Asset when Parenting After Divorce

Parenting plans are becoming more and more recognized as the way for both parents to coordinate their parenting, their lives and their relationship with their children after divorce. In its simplest form a parenting plan puts in writing the agreed upon schedule both parents have created regarding most all parenting arrangements. It outlines the days, times and other details of when, where and how each parent will be with the children along with other agreements both parents will follow in the months and years to come. The purpose of the plans is to determine strategies that are in the children’s best interest to create smooth, easy and positive transitions. These plans encourage cooperative co-parenting so that the children feel secure, loved, wanted and nurtured by both of their parents. Plans can vary in depth and scope. Often they include guidelines for routine residential arrangements as well as special occasions, including

Child-Centered Divorce, Parenting After Divorce

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How to Rebuild Your Self Esteem After Divorce

Divorce can be devastating on many levels. In addition to the financial and stress toll on both partners, it can easily wreak havoc on one’s self-esteem. Even those who initiate the divorce process can experience tremendous emotional turmoil resulting in guilt, anxiety and insecurity. Those who were not expecting or in any way desiring the break-up can come away feeling psychologically battered, confused and questioning their own worth. It’s hard to tackle these burdens alone. A support group, private coach, professional counselor or other similar resources will be very valuable in reminding you that 1) you are not alone in your experiences or feelings and 2) there is a brighter future ahead for you – if you take proactive steps in that direction. While family and friends are usually very well-intentioned, their support may not always be valuable for you. They have their own agendas, perspectives and values about marriage,

Child-Centered Divorce, Parenting After Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Parenting plans are becoming more and more recognized as the way for both parents to coordinate their parenting, their lives and their relationship with their children after divorce. In its simplest form a parenting plan puts in writing the agreed upon schedule both parents have created regarding most all parenting arrangements. It outlines the days, times and other details of when, where and how each parent will be with the children along with other agreements both parents will follow in the months and years to come. The purpose of the plans is to determine strategies that are in the children’s best interest to create smooth, easy and positive transitions. These plans encourage cooperative co-parenting so that the children feel secure, loved, wanted and nurtured by both of their parents. Plans can vary in depth and scope. Often they include guidelines for routine residential arrangements as well

Child-Centered Divorce, Parenting After Divorce

How to Boost Parent/Child Communication After Your Divorce

It’s no secret that one of the biggest challenges a parent faces after divorce is staying in good communication with your children. Obviously all parents struggle with communication issues as their children grow, but children who have had their lives dramatically altered by separation or divorce need even more attention – and diligent observation by their parents. Children tend not to tell you when they are angry, resentful, confused, hurt or depressed. Instead they reflect their problems through their behavior – acting out or perhaps turning inward in ways that you have not experienced prior to the divorce. Here are some tips that most all professionals agree about as ways to encourage positive and productive communication between you and your children. Many of these are obvious or innate behaviors. Some can easily be forgotten amid the challenges you are juggling in your own life on a daily basis. Take time

Child-Centered Divorce, Parenting After Divorce

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Make Smart Choices for Co-Parenting Success After Divorce

Co-parenting success is all about making smart choices and avoiding putting one another on the defensive. Here are some wise suggestions for parenting successfully after divorce.

Child-Centered Divorce, Parenting After Divorce

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Coping with Guilt After Divorce

Divorce Books for Children Worth Your At...

Make Smart Choices for Post-Divorce Co-P...

Divorcing During School Year Always a Ch...

Advice for Tiger Woods & All Parents Fac

A Smart Parenting Plan Your Best Asset w...

How to Rebuild Your Self Esteem After Di...

A Smart Parenting Plan Your Best Asset w...

How to Boost Parent/Child Communication ...

Make Smart Choices for Co-Parenting Succ...

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