children and divorce Archives - Page 5 of 9

Child Custody During Divorce – Are You P

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT When facing divorce as a parent child-custody issues can become quite challenging and emotions regarding divorce-related issues can easily become charged. I recently came upon an article about proposed changes to child custody legislation pending in some states. An investigative committee was being formed to consider whether “shared parenting may be the best custodial situation for all children of divorcing parents.” While I am a strong advocate of shared parenting – it worked very successfully for me – I do not believe it’s the right or only answer for everyone. Because every situation is different when it comes to divorce, I certainly don’t believe legislation should be determining custody outcomes for any family. These are issues that caring, conscious parents should be deciding together with only one goal in mind – the very best interest of their children. Unfortunately, too many parents approach this issue as

Child-Centered Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT January is International Child-Centered Divorce Month. The entire month is dedicated to helping parents minimize the negative effects of divorce on children – by giving them the tools and resources they need to support their kids during and long after a divorce. Throughout January divorce attorneys, mediators, therapists, financial planners, coaches, parenting experts and other professionals around the world will be providing complimentary gifts offering advice and insights to help parents best cope with divorce and parenting issues. More divorces are initiated in January, following the holiday season, than in any other month. That’s why the Child-Centered Divorce Network chose January to commemorate ICCD Month every year. The goal is to educate parents about how to prevent negative consequences for children during and after separation or divorce. At the special website, parents can access free ebooks, coaching services, videos, audio programs and other valuable gifts by

Child-Centered Divorce

Helping You & Your Children Survive the Holidays After Your Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT One of the toughest transitions for children of divorce is coping with the first holiday season. As parents our challenge is to create new traditions and activities that can replace the memories of family holidays in the past. Here are some suggestions for helping your children keep the best spirits through the holiday season. Be Attentive and Compassionate Talk to your children about the holidays. Listen, and don’t lecture. Let them vent about their feelings, regrets and frustrations. Acknowledge what they are expressing to you and show compassionate understanding. Be aware that some children will hold their feelings in as a means to protect you. Reassure them that it’s okay to talk about their sadness as well as apprehension about what they will experience this year. Remind your children that what they are feeling is natural and normal. Be there for them with reassurance and hugs.

Parenting After Divorce

4 Comments

Divorced Parents: Made Mistakes You Regret? It’s Not Too Late To Make It Right!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Divorce drives some people crazy. Because of that, they make many poor decisions. Their judgment, integrity and credibility are easy to question. Their decisions regarding taking responsibility for their children come under scrutiny. There is much we can all learn from these mistakes. And wisdom we can take away that is important for all of us to remember: It’s never too late to get it right – when your children are at stake! In the heat of the divorce drama, we may have settled for a decision or two that we later regretted and still feel resentful. Or we made a child-related agreement that, in hindsight, was not in our child’s best interest – but we don’t know quite how to remedy the situation. Perhaps we lost our tempers at an inappropriate time and watched our children painfully internalize the experience. Maybe we referred to our

Parenting After Divorce

Children of Divorce: Protecting Their Well-Being & Minimizing Emotional Effects

For many families, divorce is a part of life. And while every case is different, divorce is never easy. From estranged couples and their children, to in-laws, family members and loved ones, the dissolution of a marriage can have a profound effect on entire families and social circles. And, unfortunately, many divorcing couples become so ensnared in the details of their cases, they forget to focus on the well-being of their children, loved ones, and even themselves. Thankfully, though, there are ways to minimize the emotional and psychological impact of divorce. Keep reading for tips on reducing conflict and simplifying the process of divorce, as well as protecting children along the way. Honesty is (Usually) the Best Policy When it comes to the gritty details of divorce, some things are best kept between the couple in question; however, children should always be included in family conversations about separation and divorce. For

Parenting After Divorce

Divorcing Parents: 10 Questions to Ask Before Fighting Over the Kids

Divorce Attorney Larry Sarezky has created a short film to stop divorcing parents from engaging in high-conflict custody battles for the sake of the kids. I saw the film, Talk to Strangers, and was dramatically impacted by its message. Larry also provides ten questions divorcing parents should ask themselves before fighting over the kids in court. His years of experience have shown him the consequences for the children involved – effects they’ll experience on a life-long basis. Here are Larry’s 10 questions, along with his opening comments about high conflict divorce. Ten Questions to Ask Before Fighting Over the Kids My worst nightmare as a divorce lawyer is that thousands of children are growing up wondering why the “grown-ups” didn’t protect them from their parents’ high conflict divorces. That’s how my film, Talk to Strangers came into being. But long before that, I put together ten questions to ask clients

Child-Centered Divorce

Ten Ways to Know Your Kid is Coping Well After Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT 1. They look, behave and talk as they always have. Divorce can be devastating for kids, often resulting in anxiety, fears, hurt, anger, guilt and other negative emotions. If your children are interacting with you and moving through their days pretty much as usual, that’s a good sign. Look for any noticeable changes in mood and behavior and address them early on. 2. They still smile, and react positively to time spent with you. Angry kids find it hard to hide their emotions and try to avoid contact with their parents. They may get spiteful, aggressive and belligerent or withdraw into their own space and try to ignore you. Happy kids welcome your attention and enjoy being with you -- as they were before the divorce. 3. They ask questions about the divorce and changes ahead. Depressed kids don't talk alot and seem disconnected from daily

Parenting After Divorce

Divorce and Parenting: Teaching Valuable Life Lessons to Your Children

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT As a divorced parent, what lessons and behaviors are you modeling for your children? The messages you convey will influence your children into adulthood. Here’s valuable advice on leaving a positive imprint on your innocent children. Bad things can happen to good people. Divorce is a prime example. Good people get divorced. Responsible people who are loving parents get caught in the decision to end a loveless or deceitful marriage. The consequences of that decision can either be life affirming or destroying, depending upon how each parent approaches this transition. Parents who are blinded by blame and anger are not likely to learn much through the experience. They see their former spouse as the total problem in their life and are convinced that getting rid of that problem through divorce will bring ultimate resolution. These parents are often self-righteous about the subject and give little thought

Parenting After Divorce

1 Comment

The 9 Biggest Mistakes in Post-Divorce Parenting!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Some parents think once they are divorced and most of the decisions have been made, the worst is behind them. Unfortunately, parenting after divorce is a week by week experience. Your success depends on the decisions you make, your attitude toward your situation and your compassion for your innocent children. You may have heard it all before, but smart parents quiz themselves regularly to see if they are not falling into some of the traps of destructive post-divorce parenting. If you find yourself making any of these mistakes, it’s never too late to make amends. You may have to alter decisions, adjust some behaviors, give yourself an attitude adjustment and even apologize to your children – or to their Dad! Keep in mind, we all make mistakes that we regret. It’s part of the learning process – especially when we’re parents. It’s far better to set

Parenting After Divorce

2 Comments

Study Shows Children Are Psychologically Damaged When Parents Fight

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT For years I’ve been pointing out to parents that fighting around the children does more damage to them than their divorce. When parents handle divorce amicably and put their children’s psychological needs foremost when making all decisions, serious emotional harm to the kids is avoided. Now a study published in the Journal of Research on Adolescence confirms this perspective. While the focus on this study is on fighting over financial issues, the consequences are basically the same: damage to the children’s well-being. The study shows that children exposed to constant parental bickering are more likely to be depressed. They are also more prone to expressing other “problem behaviors,” including substance abuse, aggression and poor school grades. Not surprisingly the study revealed that among parents who were dealing with "money-related chronic stress," relationships with their children were highly tense and lacking in intimacy. Is the tension related to

Parenting After Divorce

Child Custody During Divorce – Are You P

International Child-Centered Divorce Mon...

Helping You & Your Children Survive the

Divorced Parents: Made Mistakes You Regr...

Children of Divorce: Protecting Their We...

Divorcing Parents: 10 Questions to Ask B...

Ten Ways to Know Your Kid is Coping Well...

Divorce and Parenting: Teaching Valuable...

The 9 Biggest Mistakes in Post-Divorce P...

Study Shows Children Are Psychologically...

Blog Posts by Date (Archives)

Categories