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Child Centered Divorce
The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent
Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC
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Divorce Advice From Family & Friends – D

Divorce Advice From Family & Friends – Don’t Take It!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC The Divorce/Separation Path Divorce by its very nature brings up lots of judgments. Most people have strong opinions about divorce, strongly influenced by their own experiences or the programming of their upbringing. You’re very unlikely to change anyone’s mind about the best way to handle divorce when you’re a parent. So don’t try. Your family and friends mean well. They want to support and help you through any crisis. But be aware that along with their support they bring their personal prejudices. These are weighed down by the baggage of judgments that inevitably color their advice. If you allow yourself to be influenced by the well-meant suggestions of these individuals, you may find yourself falling into a deep quagmire of confusion or even depression. No one walks in your shoes or has experienced your history. At the same time, most

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8 Tips For Co-Parenting Success After Di...

8 Tips For Co-Parenting Success After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC  Parenting following a divorce can be complex, frustrating and confusing. However, every day parents around the world are coping with the challenges and raising happy, well-adjusted children. As founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network I’ve found that there are many factors that influence your effectiveness as a co-parent. They begin from the inside out. In this article we’ll review some of the major keys to insuring a more successful co-parenting outcome for you and your children during and long after your divorce. Co-parenting is a life-long endeavor. When you master the skills suggested here, life will be better and more rewarding for everyone in the family. And that’s a goal worth attaining!  1: WATCH YOUR ATTITUDE  Attitude plays a big part in the success of any Child-Centered Divorce. If you approach your divorce with a commitment to making it as positive an experience as possible for

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4 Ways to Help Kids of Divorce Transitio...

4 Ways to Help Kids of Divorce Transition Between Homes
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC During divorce proceedings parenting plans and contact schedules are usually established to create a semblance of routine in this new chapter of family life. I am a strong believer in co-parenting whenever possible to serve the best interest of your children. Sometimes parallel parenting is the norm, meaning you both parent the children but with minimum communication between parents. Keep in mind that your kids pick up on the emotional energy around their parents and life after divorce is smoother and easier for them when their parents behave with civility and maturity. However you work out your shared parenting plan, it’s the reality of post-divorce daily life that puts co-parents to the test. Here are 4 ways to ease the process for everyone involved. 1. Be patient with one another. Starting any new schedule in life is never easy. Chances are the between-home transitions will present

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Lessons About Celebrity Divorces & Co-Pa

Lessons About Celebrity Divorces & Co-Parenting!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC In today’s world Hollywood celebrities are major role models in our culture, especially to the younger generation. For that reason I keep an eye on the movie-star set to see what they’re doing in their relationships. It always makes for great conversation within the Child-Centered Divorce community. Too often the examples we see are poor ones. So many celebrity relationships end in ugly divorces and child-custody suits. Happily, however, there are some admirable exceptions. These couples are stepping up to taking more responsibility for their behaviors before and after the divorce. They are talking about the issues affecting their children and seem more aware than in the past about the consequences for children when a divorce gets nasty. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are prime examples of putting your family first. They get together for church, special events, holidays and other family time. This reminds their

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3 Signs You’re Ready For A Divorce – Esp

3 Signs You’re Ready For A Divorce – Especially If You’re A Parent!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce catches kids in the middle Is it ever right to consider divorce, especially if you’re a parent? Of course, divorce should be avoided whenever possible. It’s not a solution to marital problems. More like an escape hatch – with no guarantee of a happy ending. If you don’t master the art of fair fighting, using effective communication skills, showing empathy and compassion for the needs of your partner, divorce is not likely to be of value in your life. Chances are you’ll move on to another toxic relationship, bringing with you the same unresolved baggage and issues which are destined to lead to new discord with your new partner. That said, there are sigs that divorce might be the best option for a couple, especially if they are parents. These include: Irreconcilable Disrespect: If one or both partners reach a point

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Is It Parental Conflict – Or Divorce – T

Is It Parental Conflict – Or Divorce – That Most Damages Children?
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Parents Fighting Around Kids After Divorce So often I am asked: Is it divorce or parental discord that most damages children? More and more evidence points at the attitude of the parents being most influential on the outcome for innocent children. Numerous articles by marriage and family therapist Ruth Bettelheim address this topic in ways that are both relevant and, quite surprising for many. That’s because she refutes common misconceptions about divorce and addresses the real issues of concern. According to Bettelheim, “Studies conducted in the past 20 years have shown that on all meaningful measures of success -- social, economic, intellectual and psychological -- most adult children from divorced families are no worse off than their peers whose parents remained married.” Researchers have found two explanations for this, notes Bettelheim. “Children who have to cope with their parents’ separation and post-divorce

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Divorced Parents: Keys For Coping With A...

Divorced Parents: Keys For Coping With Anxiety And Guilt
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Children are affected by divorce Not surprisingly, guilt is often an integral part of the equation for parents coping with divorce. No parent wants their child to have to go through the turmoil of a parental divorce or separation. This is especially true for the parent initiating the divorce. Sometimes the internal battle over whether to move ahead with the divorce can go on for years before the final decision is made. Complicating matters is the anxiety connected to breaking the divorce news to children and fear of the consequences for each child. Often, parents don’t want to discuss the divorce after the initial conversation. It brings up anxiety about what our children will be saying and reluctance to hear feedback that will produce sadness, anger or guilt in us. In addition, it may also be difficult to listen to negative comments

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Divorced Parents: Effective Communicatio...

Divorced Parents: Effective Communication Is Key to Co-Parenting Success
Children affected by Divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC While divorce may end a marriage, when you’re a parent it doesn’t end the need for working together on behalf of your children. How you communicate with one another about parenting issues will affect your children today and for years to come. Here are some tips on keeping communication with your Ex as effective as possible. Communicate in writing  Use online co-parenting tools such as MoietyApp.com to schedule co-parenting appointments and keep clear records of all conversations, notes, memos, and details. Avoid in-person or telephone talk if there is growing conflict. Writing enables you to express yourself clearly and succinctly. Emails, texts and faxes record dates and time which can also be useful. Focus on the present and the future      Communication is not about re-hashing old wounds and arguments. Focus on the issues at hand keeping

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Divorced Parents’ 10 Biggest Parenting M

Divorced Parents’ 10 Biggest Parenting Mistakes To Avoid!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Some parents think once they are divorced and most of the decisions have been made, the worst is behind them. Unfortunately, parenting after divorce is a week by week experience. Your success depends on the decisions you make, your attitude toward your situation and your compassion for your innocent children. You may have heard it all before, but smart parents quiz themselves regularly to see if they are not falling into some of the traps of destructive post-divorce parenting. If you find yourself making any of these mistakes, it’s never too late to make amends. You may have to alter decisions, change some behaviors, give yourself an attitude adjustment and even apologize to your children – or to their other parent! Keep in mind, we all make mistakes that we regret. It’s part of the learning process – especially when we’re parents. It’s far better to

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Raising Healthy, Well-Adjusted Children ...

Raising Healthy, Well-Adjusted Children – Despite Divorce
Co-parenting & single parenting after divorce Amy Sherman, LMHC is one of the contributors to my internationally-acclaimed book, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children -- with Love! Today she shares some of her wisdom based on her private practice and years of working with pre-teen and teen populations.  Parenting is a continual learning process, which is compounded when you are going through a divorce. Not only does it require an understanding of the child’s needs and the skills to meet those needs, but it requires additional special attention. Talking to your children about the divorce could be one of the most difficult experiences of parenting, because you want, of course, your wisdom to be heard and then your child to apply it. From my work with divorced parents and their children, I have gained much insight

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