The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce! - Divorce and Co-Parenting - Parenting Children of Divorce - Dating as a Divorced Parent
Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC
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When faced with parental alienation behaviors after divorce, here are some important strategies to consider, suggested by divorce therapists, to open the door to healing and maintaining your relationship with your children:
July is National Child-Centered Divorce Month, dedicated to alerting parents about the harm to their children when divorce isn’t handled effectively. Repeated studies show that it isn’t divorce per se that damages children. It’s the mistakes that unaware parents make before, during and after divorce that does the harm. Throughout July divorce professionals concerned about the effects of divorce on children will be sharing their advice and insights on the topic. Their goal is to educate parents about the choices they do have before moving into divorce to prevent negative consequences for children of all ages.
Author of internationally acclaimed ebook discusses how to tell children about your divorce, one of the toughest conversations any parent will have, in a compassionate and effective way to safeguard your children. Six key messages essential to the conversation are included.
?????April 25th is the annual recognition of Parental Alienation Day. It is a time for all divorced parents to reflect on their relationship with their former spouse and how it may be subtly or overtly affecting the emotional and psychological well-being of their children. One behavior commonly overlooked as a very hurtful aspect of Parental Alienation involves one parent keeping the other from contact with the children – as punishment. Threatening To Keep Your Ex From the Kids Divorced parents can quickly learn ways to abuse their power over the other parent by using the children as a lever. Among the most harmful of these types of manipulations is making demands and threatening to eliminate or restrict contact with the kids if your ex doesn’t agree. Most all divorced parents have incidents and expectations that cause great frustration or anger toward their ex. But you’re stepping over the line when
Divorce can be a major stumbling block to our happiness and personal growth. When you can’t let go of hurt and anger, it builds into a resentment or grudge. That feeling can take hold of you growing to envelope your whole life and all of your thoughts. Learn some of the signs that you are still holding grudges.
Ever go on a vacation without making plans in advance? The consequences are usually disastrous. If you fail to plan ahead regarding newspaper and mail delivery, feeding your pets or watering the plants, knowing where your destination is and reserving your accommodations, your vacation is likely to be filled with disappointment, frustration and even heartache. What about preparing your children for your pending divorce? Do you have a plan – or are you going to wing it without any prior thought? For children, divorce is a monumental life experience for which they have no preparation. The very foundation of their security – their love for Mom and Dad – is being thrown into turmoil. Everything they knew and accepted as part of routine daily life is going to be affected in one way or another. They don’t know what to expect and have little source of comfort other than their
Want the latest feedback and perspectives from founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, Rosalind Sedacca, CCT? Sedacca, the author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love! is now a regular contributor to the popular blog, Basil & Spice. Every week Rosalind provides her insights on divorce and parenting issues – many posts based on current news headlines generating buzz around the world. She also provides advice, useful suggestions and valuable information related to divorce legislation, effective co-parenting, communication skills and the effects of divorce on children. Her columns can be found under Love and Relationship at //www.basilandspice.com/love-and-relationships/. Basil & Spice (//www.basilandspice.com) features blog posts on a broad spectrum of subjects of popular interest, including health, fitness, finances, weight loss, environmental issues and mind/body balance. Founder Kelly Jad’on says, “The world is rapidly changing and it is my
Whether Tiger Woods gets a divorce or not, his family is experiencing the emotional turmoil resulting from any parental breakup. Celebrity or not, everyone in the family is affected by a separation or rift between parents. Often Mom and Dad are so caught up in their own battles they tend to overlook the effects on the children, especially when those children are very young. However, kids come with powerful emotional radar. Even when they can’t speak they pick up on tension and absorb the discord in their environment. At times like these, it’s essential to watch your children closely. Look for unusual or different behaviors. Listen to their questions and comments carefully. Be there to answer their questions as honestly as you can in an age-appropriate way. Communication with our children is always important, but never as essential as when they are touched by separation or divorce. Children are vulnerable
Parenting after divorce takes patience, cooperation and collaboration. It’s not uncommon for one parent to notice behavior differences in their children when they return from a stay with their other parent. This can be extremely frustrating or irritating, especially if your values and parenting style doesn’t match that of your former spouse. What can you do to remedy the situation? Try having a conversation about how inconsistencies affect your children after divorce – and see if you can come to a better understanding. Consistency in parenting creates the smoothest transition after divorce – and in the years that follow. If the rules previously established in your home are still followed by both parents after the divorce, the children are likely to more easily adjust to the new transitions in their life. In families where Mom and Dad dramatically disagree about significant parenting decisions, the consequences can be disturbing and sometimes
Divorce is tough enough. When children try to protect their parents from its consequences, the parenting is moving backwards and the results are devastating. Always be careful of what you share with your children regarding your own emotional state during and after your divorce. It can create enormous confusion for your children, along with guilt, frustration and despair. Children who experience their parents divorce are helpless to change the circumstances. But they often try. They want to do something to “fix” the situation, but they haven’t a clue how. Sometimes they create solutions that make sense in their young minds, but actually cause greater complications. That’s why it‘s so important for parents to take the emotional burden off of the shoulders of their children. Reassure them that Mom and Dad are still their parents and will continue to be there for them with compassion and love. Tell them they need
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