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Family Photos Vitally Important for Chil...

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT I read a poignant comment on a blog recently written by a married mother of three. She was a child of divorce whose father moved out of the home when she was four. She talks about having very few pictures of herself as a child and only one of her mother and father together. Her grandfather found and gave her the photo just a few years ago. She framed it and has proudly displayed it in her home for her own children to see. She explains how special that one photo of her with Mom and Dad is to her. It shows a little girl sitting happily on a lawn with her “real” family – before the divorce. This woman grieves that she has no other photographs of her father and so few pictures of her childhood. She assumes that her mother hid or destroyed all

Parenting After Divorce

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Managing Anger When You’re Triggered by Divorce or Relationship Issues!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT We all get angry when we believe we are being wronged, misunderstood or unjustly accused. It’s a natural reaction to circumstances that put us on the defensive. For many, divorce is the perfect storm that triggers all our anger issues. When we’re parents and cannot manage our anger, it can take over our lives and affect the well-being of our children. Focusing our anger on our divorcing spouse can fuel the fire to dangerous levels for everyone involved. Anger is a feeling that alerts us that something is wrong. What we fail to understand is that we, as human beings, always have choices regarding how we act regarding those feelings. Acting before thinking can lead to mismanaged anger. Once we have reacted to anger, we have allowed our feelings to control us. This can lead to actions and behaviors we never would have taken if we

Parenting After Divorce

5 Tips For Reducing The Negative Impact of Divorce On Your Children!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Communication with our children is always important, but never as essential as when they are impacted by separation or divorce. Children are vulnerable and easily frightened by changes in their routines. The more you talk to and comfort them, the less stress and anxiety they’ll experience. Children of divorce need additional attention and support. This is the time to reassure your children that you are taking care of matters and everyone in the family will be okay. Then, of course, take responsibility for doing what needs to be done to assure their well-being. Here are five important ways you can minimize the impact of divorce on your children to help them thrive during and after your divorce. Strive to keep as much normalcy in your children’s lives as is feasible. Maintaining relationships with friends and neighbors provides a sense of stability and continuity. Keeping children in

Parenting After Divorce

KIDS EMAIL: a smart tool for divorced parents … PROTECTS KIDS WHILE GIVING THEM THEIR FREEDOM

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Children of divorce face challenges other kids don’t have. In most cases, they don’t see Mom and Dad at the same time in the same home. They travel between homes and can spend days, weeks – even months – between visits with their other parent. Fortunately today’s technology makes life easier for these kids than ever before. Email, texting, notebooks and smart phones can build bridges with parents at a distance. But with the convenience also comes anxiety as parental stress mounts regarding how to ensure safe communication when using email and social media. Are your children being protected from spam, vulgarity, viruses and predators while on the internet, smart phones and tablets? Have you lost parental control over who they contact and what they say? Do you feel your children are safe when communicating with you, their other parent, family and friends? KidsEmail is great

Parenting After Divorce

Bashing Your Ex Is Bad News For Your Children!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT We all do it from time to time. Make a sarcastic comment about our ex, criticize something they did or didn’t do, gesture or grimace our faces when referring to our former spouse. When we do it in front of, near or within hearing distance of our children, we set ourselves up for a hornet’s nest of problems. We have all heard this, but it’s easy to forget or let slide. It hurts our children when they hear one of their parents put down the other. This is so even if your child does not say anything about it. With rare exceptions, children innately feel they are part of both parents. They love them both even when that love isn’t returned to them in the same way. When you put down their other parent your children are likely to interpret it as a put-down of part

Parenting After Divorce

Divorced Parents: Don’t Take Advice from Family and Friends

Divorced Parents: Don’t Take Advice from Family & Friends Be gracious about accepting advice – then do what is congruent for you! By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Divorce is a subject that, by its very nature, brings up lots of judgments. Most people seem to have strong opinions about divorce, primarily influenced by their own experiences or the programming of their upbringing. It’s very unlikely that any one argument will change the mind of someone who feels in direct opposition about the subject. This is important to keep this in mind when you find yourself going through the trials of separation or divorce. Your family and friends all mean well. They want to support and help you through any crisis. But be aware that along with their support they bring with them the baggage of opinions and judgments that inevitably color their advice. If you allow yourself to be influenced by

Parenting After Divorce

Should Divorced Dads Get Equal Custody? Let the Battle Begin …

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT More than ever before, divorce is making news. Much of it is due to changing legislation in many nations and several states within the U.S. regarding issues such as custody. In the past five years there have also been major shifts in our perceptions about divorce and the emergence of new alternatives that can simplify and reduce the time and cost involved in divorce proceedings. Consequently, society is talking more and caring more about divorce than ever before in history. This, I believe, is very good because with discussion comes awareness of the many complex challenges that surround divorce. This includes the many weaknesses and inequities in our divorce-related legal systems and the long-term consequences of poor decision-making as couples attempt to transition through the divorce maze. A while back Parade Magazine, the Sunday supplement magazine that comes with newspapers in many large cities around the

Child-Centered Divorce

5 Costly Mistakes That Can Sabotage a Parent’s Divorce Settlement

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT When the emotional turmoil of divorce enters your life, it can be hard to focus on the crucial details revolving around financial issues. However, if you are not pro-active in covering your short and long-term financial needs, you can suffer the consequences for decades to come. Here are five mistakes to avoid when negotiating through your divorce. 1. Becoming a Financial Victim. Take the initiative. If a separation or divorce may be in your future, don’t wait. Be sure to make copies of all your important financial records. Include all account statements and other documents -- banks, checking accounts, credit cards, real estate mortgages, stocks and bonds, tax returns, wills, life insurance, etc. If there’s a chance your spouse may liquidate or re-title any marital assets, immediately notify the holder in writing and get a restraining order from the court. Keep your eye on the cash

Child-Centered Divorce

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Co-Parenting Success After Divorce Dependent on Wise Decisions

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT If you’re a parent, divorce doesn’t end your relationship with your former spouse. It only changes the form in some specific ways. It is still essential to create a working relationship focused on the optimum care and concern for your children. Every co-parenting relationship will be unique, affected by your post-divorce family dynamics. However, there are guidelines that will enhance the results for children in any family. Here are some crucial points to keep in mind to maximize your co-parenting success. Respect your co-parent’s boundaries: Chances are your former spouse has a different parenting style than you, with some conflicting rules. Rather than stress yourself about these differences, learn to accept that life is never consistent and it may actually be beneficial for your kids to experience other ways of doing things. Step back from micro-managing your co-parent’s life. If the kids aren’t in harm’s way,

Parenting After Divorce

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Ten Ways to Know Your Kid is Coping Well After Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT 1. They look, behave and talk as they always have. Divorce can be devastating for kids, often resulting in anxiety, fears, hurt, anger, guilt and other negative emotions. If your children are interacting with you and moving through their days pretty much as usual, that’s a good sign. Look for any noticeable changes in mood and behavior and address them early on. 2. They still smile, and react positively to time spent with you. Angry kids find it hard to hide their emotions and try to avoid contact with their parents. They may get spiteful, aggressive and belligerent or withdraw into their own space and try to ignore you. Happy kids welcome your attention and enjoy being with you -- as they were before the divorce. 3. They ask questions about the divorce and changes ahead. Depressed kids don't talk alot and seem disconnected from daily

Parenting After Divorce

Family Photos Vitally Important for Chil...

Managing Anger When You’re Triggered by

5 Tips For Reducing The Negative Impact ...

KIDS EMAIL: a smart tool for divorced pa...

Bashing Your Ex Is Bad News For Your Chi...

Divorced Parents: Don’t Take Advice from

Should Divorced Dads Get Equal Custody? ...

5 Costly Mistakes That Can Sabotage a Pa...

Co-Parenting Success After Divorce Depen...

Ten Ways to Know Your Kid is Coping Well...

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