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Child Centered Divorce
The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent
Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC
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Depression In Children of Divorce – Help

Depression In Children of Divorce – Helping Your Kids Cope Effectively
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Remember the emotional toll of divorce on children Divorce has many effects on children. No two children will react in exactly the same way. That’s why parents need to be diligent about watching for signs and indications that your child may be having problems coping with their new reality. Depression is one of the more common reactions we see in children of divorce. Unfortunately, many parents entirely miss or misinterpret the signs of depression. It can take many forms including behavior that is distancing, lethargic and withdrawn. This is often accompanied by a drop in school grades. But depression can also show in other ways, such as agitation, frustration and aggression. When depression takes that form, parents are likely to think of it in terms of discipline problems and respond with punishment. It takes maturity and a broader perspective to stand back

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How Divorce Affects Children & Teens: Pa

How Divorce Affects Children & Teens: Parents Need Realistic Expectations!
Children are affected by divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Parenting is always complex. Parenting following a divorce can add many other layers of distraction and confusion to the mix. That makes it even more important for parents to be aware of how their children are responding to the divorce. Misunderstanding Your Child’s Intentions One common error parents make is misunderstanding the stage of development their children are at which can lead to unrealistic expectations. Too often parents will assume that their child has a realistic handle on their emotions. They also believe the child has a deeper understanding of human nature than is really possible at their age. So when their child acts out, expresses anger or otherwise misbehaves, many parents misconstrue their intentions. Parents don’t fully grasp the fear and insecurity that divorce brings up in children. They mistakenly see these young beings as little

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Is It Parental Conflict – Or Divorce – T

Is It Parental Conflict – Or Divorce – That Most Damages Children?
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Parents Fighting Around Kids After Divorce So often I am asked: Is it divorce or parental discord that most damages children? More and more evidence points at the attitude of the parents being most influential on the outcome for innocent children. Numerous articles by marriage and family therapist Ruth Bettelheim address this topic in ways that are both relevant and, quite surprising for many. That’s because she refutes common misconceptions about divorce and addresses the real issues of concern. According to Bettelheim, “Studies conducted in the past 20 years have shown that on all meaningful measures of success -- social, economic, intellectual and psychological -- most adult children from divorced families are no worse off than their peers whose parents remained married.” Researchers have found two explanations for this, notes Bettelheim. “Children who have to cope with their parents’ separation and post-divorce

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Divorced Parents: Keys For Coping With A...

Divorced Parents: Keys For Coping With Anxiety And Guilt
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Children are affected by divorce Not surprisingly, guilt is often an integral part of the equation for parents coping with divorce. No parent wants their child to have to go through the turmoil of a parental divorce or separation. This is especially true for the parent initiating the divorce. Sometimes the internal battle over whether to move ahead with the divorce can go on for years before the final decision is made. Complicating matters is the anxiety connected to breaking the divorce news to children and fear of the consequences for each child. Often, parents don’t want to discuss the divorce after the initial conversation. It brings up anxiety about what our children will be saying and reluctance to hear feedback that will produce sadness, anger or guilt in us. In addition, it may also be difficult to listen to negative comments

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Does Divorce Scar Children – Or Do Poor

Does Divorce Scar Children – Or Do Poor Parenting Choices Create All the Damage?
Rosalind Sedacca, CDC reveals the truth! Rosalind Sedacca, CDC More divorces are filed in January, following the holiday season, than in any other month. That’s why January is recognized as International Child-Centered Divorce Month. This year is our 10th Anniversary commemoration. I initiated ICCD Month as a Divorce & Parenting Coach, founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network and author of How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce.  Our goal is to educate parents about how to prevent negative consequences for children during and after separation or divorce. One of the most important questions I get asked by both clients and the media is: Does Divorce Really Scar Children?  My answer is NO! It’s how parents approach the divorce that does the damage. Parental Conflict is behind most of the Negative Effects On Our children. And that’s both good news and bad news. The good news:  Parents

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International Child-Centered Divorce Mon...

International Child-Centered Divorce Month Commemorates 10 Years  Helping Divorcing & Divorced Parents With Free Advice, Services & Other Resources!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC January is International Child-Centered Divorce Month This year we commemorate the 10th Anniversary of International Child-Centered Divorce Month. In recognition of International Child-Centered Divorce Month divorce experts around the world will be providing free ebooks, coaching services, teleseminars and other gifts to divorced parents throughout January. ICCD Month is dedicated to alerting parents about the effects of divorce on children – and how to prevent emotional and psychological damage to children during and after a divorce. Divorce attorneys, mediators, therapists, financial planners, coaches and other professionals on four continents will be participating. Their purpose is to promote peaceful divorce, cooperative co-parenting, and educating parents about how to prevent negative consequences for children affected by separation or divorce. More divorces get initiated in January, following the holiday season, than in any other month. That’s why as a Divorce & Parenting Coach and founder

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Understanding Children’s Emotional Needs

Understanding Children’s Emotional Needs During Divorce and Beyond
When parents are caught up in the drama of divorce it is easy for them to forget the innate emotional and security needs of their innocent children. The following are a list of questions and comments that remind parents about the most fundamental needs of every child in order to experience psychological wellbeing. They are provided by Dr. Paul Wanio, one of the contributors to my internationally acclaimed ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? These concepts are particularly significant for your consideration when your family is experiencing the challenges and upheavals connected to divorce or separation. With this in mind, Dr. Wanio suggests you not only consider these questions, but actually take the time to answer them for yourself. 1) How can I help my child to develop a sense of security and trust in him/herself, in people, in the world, and in getting his/her needs

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When Children of Divorce Act Out – Carin

When Children of Divorce Act Out – Caring Parents Step Up!
By Rosalind Sedacca CDC Divorce, like life, is rarely neat and packaged. This is especially true for divorcing parents. The reality of divorce comes with unexpected twists, constant frustrations and times of utter helplessness when children act up or pull away. Here are three tips for coping with times when your children are venting, lashing out or expressing their own frustrations about being caught up in a family adjusting to separation or divorce. Diffusing blame. Some children, especially pre-teens and teens, may blame one parent or the other for the divorce. Sometimes they may be correct in this interpretation given circumstances they have been aware of for years (alcoholism, absent parent, domestic violence, etc.). Other times they side with one parent as a result of their prior relationship dynamics with that parent. Regardless of why you, or your spouse, are being blamed, keep your cool. In many cases blaming is

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Parental Alienation After Divorce: Don’t

Parental Alienation After Divorce: Don’t Let Your Kids Pay The Price!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC April 25 is Parental Alienation Day -- a time to reflect on how you are influencing your children regarding your divorce. Parental Alienation is the darkest, most damaging consequence of divorce done wrong. It's impact can last a lifetime -- and it can boomerang on you in the years to come. Some thoughts on Parental Alienation, especially for the alienated parent ... Divorce conflicts between parents can get ugly. And too often parents tend to vent or share this anger about the other parent with one or more of the children involved. The results can be devastating – not only for the “target” parent, but for the children, as well. This is just one form of parental alienation which is a serious and very complex set of behaviors which often feel justified by the alienating parent. The problem is that children get caught in the middle,

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Should You Divorce or Stay? Parents Must...

Should You Divorce or Stay? Parents Must Put Kids First Either Way!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CLC Stay together for the sake of the kids? Generations of miserable parents followed that advice hoping their sacrifices would pay off for their children in the end. Many still believe that’s the only option for parents stuck in a dead-end marriage. Based on my own personal experience, I have another perspective. Having been raised by parents that chose to stay together in a miserable marriage, I opt in on the other side. For me, parental divorce is preferable to years of living in a home where parents fight, disrespect one another and children are surrounded by sadness and anger. That’s the world I grew up in and the scars are still with me today, many decades later. I believe that staying in a marriage only for the kids is a physical choice that doesn’t touch upon the emotional and psychological pain children endure when their parents

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