Parents: Preserving Family Photos Essent...

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC I read a poignant comment on a blog recently, written by a married mother of three. She was a child of divorce whose father moved out of the home when she was four. She talks about having very few pictures of herself as a child and only one of her mother and father together. Her grandfather found and gave her the photo just a few years ago. She framed it and has proudly displayed it in her home for her own children to see. She talks about how special that one photo of her with Mom and Dad is to her. It shows a little girl sitting happily on a lawn with her “real” family – before the divorce. This woman grieves that she has no other photographs of her father and so few pictures of her childhood. She assumes that her mother hid or destroyed

Parenting After Divorce

Children of Divorce Deserve Special Holiday Attention

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all know the holiday season is fraught with stress, overwhelm and pressure for parents. But we are not alone. For children facing their parents’ divorce or who are experiencing their first holiday season post-divorce, this can be an especially tough time of year. So I reach out to all parents, and extended family members, who want to protect children caught in the consequences of a divorce, to be especially mindful and compassionate during the weeks ahead. It doesn’t take much to give a child or a teen a joyous occasion spending time with you. You don’t need expensive gifts or trips to exotic places. Doing things together are what count most. Sledding, ice skating, baking, creating crafts, watching a movie, visiting a children’s museum, taking a short railroad trip, building a snowman, making a family video, adopting a pet from a local shelter, volunteering to

Parenting After Divorce

Child Centered Parenting in a Blended Family – Hers, Mine and the Exes

My soon-to-be second wife and I are raising four children. With our wedding date quickly approaching, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to have a successful blended family, and how we deal with our exes for the good of our children. Out of the Mouths of Babes It’s 3:00 AM and I can’t sleep. I keep hearing the voices of our kids, over and over in my head. “Mommy is going to be mad if we stay up late.” “My dad lets me watch that show.” “She’s not our sister!” “I don’t want to come to the wedding.” That last one stings. We have four parents in this equation. All with different views on what’s best for our children. It can be stressful. It can be annoying. Ultimately our success is not judged by our personal comfort, but by the experience of our children. Here are some

Parenting After Divorce

2 Comments

Finding the Best Divorce Attorney When You’re a Divorcing Parent

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Choosing the best divorce lawyer for you is a major decision for anyone facing this life-altering reality. However, when you’re a parent, the decision is far more complex and significant. In our culture divorce is looked upon as a legal battle between two parties with opposing sides. Legal battles are about “winning,” which means all effort goes toward not “losing.” Sadly, parental divorce is more than the dissolution of a marital contract. It’s a highly emotional experience that deeply affects everyone in the family. Not all divorce attorneys approach divorce in the same manner. When you’re a parent you must not only protect yourself and your financial interests, but your children as well. If you hire a divorce litigator, whose primary focus is “winning” through the courts, you are exposing yourself and your children to lengthy periods of stress, heightened conflict and the loss of power

Child-Centered Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC While moving through divorce can seem like an insurmountable obstacle, for many parents it is just the beginning of a new and equally intimidating challenge: co-parenting your children. Hats off to all of you who have chosen to remain in your children’s lives as co-parents. It means both of you care deeply about your children and want to continue raising them in the least-disruptive possible manner. Of course not all parents can share the parenting process in this way and for some couples it is not realistic to even attempt it. But those divorced parents who choose to live relatively close to one another so as not to disturb the school, sports and other related schedules of their children, certainly deserve credit and acknowledgement. This is a complex topic that can’t be glossed over with a few simple how-tos. It is based on sincere levels of

Parenting After Divorce

7 Ways to Support the Grandparent-Grandchild Relationship After Divorce!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When divorce takes place, everyone in the family is affected. Often the impact on grandparents is overlooked amidst the turmoil involving parents and children. But the affect can be devastating for grandparents who want to help and also stay in the lives of the children they love. Grandparents frequently ask me, “How do I help and stay close to my grandkids when we are geographically separated?” Even more challenging, how do you cope as grandparents when the consequences of divorce limits or ends physical visits with the grandkids? You do that by maintaining and strengthening the relationship you already have using the technology available and your best communication skills with your grown child’s former spouse. When possible, ask permission to continue the relationship with the kids when they are with the “Ex.” Let them know how much it means to you and how important it is for

Parenting After Divorce

6 Ways Pets Can Help Your Family Cope With Divorce!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Pets can be a helpful resource for you and your children when handling the challenges of divorce. If your family has one or more pets, let your children have access to them as much as they desire. There is a great emotional benefit to kids dung times of insecurity -- and your children are fortunate that the pets they love can still be in their lives. If you don’t already have a pet, I recommend getting one – but only if you are in a position to be responsible to that innocent animal during this time of additional stress in your life. If a family pet is out of the question, please consider giving your children time to play with the pets of friends and family. Take them to petting zoos. Allow them contact with other living creatures, such as birds and squirrels in the park.

Parenting After Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Moving through a divorce can seem like an insurmountable obstacle. But for parents, it is just the beginning of an even greater challenge: co-parenting your children together. As founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network I acknowledge all parents who have chosen to remain in your children’s lives as co-parents. You care deeply about your children and cooperative co-parenting is the way to raise them in the least-disruptive possible manner. The key word here is COOPERATION. Not all parents can share the parenting process in this way. For some couples, sadly, it should not even be attempted. Which is why those couples who are determined to co-parent – and choose to live relatively close to one another so as not to disturb the school, sports and other related schedules of their children – certainly deserve credit and acknowledgement. This is a complex topic that can’t be glossed

Child-Centered Divorce, Parenting After Divorce

2 Comments

Back to School After Divorce: Helping Your Kids Adapt & Heal!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC parenting after divorce Back to school time is always stressful for families. However, returning to school after their parents have separated or divorced can be especially difficult for any child. As a parent, you can ease the transition, by making the school your ally. This will open the door to the many resources available to you through the school. The key here is in forming a cooperative relationship with key personnel. Making your child’s teachers aware of your divorce and related changes in your home environment and scheduling will be helpful both for them and your child. That’s because school is really a second home for children in our culture. Regardless of their age, children can’t be expected to turn off their emotions during or after a divorce any more than their parents can. Fear, insecurity, shame, guilt and other emotions are usually triggered

Child-Centered Divorce

3 Comments

Coping With Anger & Bitterness For Parents During & After Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC and Amy Sherman, LMHC One of the most challenging and frustrating aspects of being a parent may be getting along with your child’s other parent. We all understand that parents are parents for life – regardless of whether you are married, separated or divorced. The better you get along with one another, the easier you make life for you and your children – not only for this month, but for years and decades to come. It’s a safe bet that you and your child’s other parent are quite good at pushing each other’s buttons. It’s not difficult to bring one another to a state of anger – and then to feel frustration and resentment in return. For that reason, learning how to handle and manage your anger is an excellent and very productive skill to master. Unfortunately people in our lives hurt us and do things

Relationship Advice

Blog

Parents: Preserving Family Photos Essent...

Children of Divorce Deserve Special Holi...

Child Centered Parenting in a Blended Fa...

Finding the Best Divorce Attorney When Y...

6 Proven Co-Parenting Strategies for Div...

7 Ways to Support the Grandparent-Grandc...

6 Ways Pets Can Help Your Family Cope Wi...

Co-Parenting After Divorce: How To Make ...

Back to School After Divorce: Helping Yo...

Coping With Anger & Bitterness For Paren

Blog Posts by Date (Archives)

Categories