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Child Centered Divorce
The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent
Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC
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Divorced Parents’ Biggest Mistakes To Av

Divorced Parents’ Biggest Mistakes To Avoid
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC  Let’s face it, we all make mistakes we regret. It’s part of the learning process. This is especially true for parents. But when we make mistakes as DIVORCED PARENTS, the impact can be even more lasting – and dramatic! So, here’s the bottom line: It’s far better to set the course straight today than to reap the consequences years from now when your adult children ask: Mom/Dad, what were you thinking?  Of course, coping with the challenges of parenting after divorce or separation can be very frustrating and difficult. It takes enormous awareness and compassion. With that in mind, here are the most emotionally damaging mistakes that negatively impact children of divorce. Don’t be guilty of making these mistakes: Fighting around your children.  Even if it’s on the phone or in another room, if they can hear you, it’s a source of pain, confusion and deep

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Divorce Is Tough – But Even Tougher On T

Divorce Is Tough – But Even Tougher On Teens!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all know divorce is tough on families. Everyone is affected, especially the children. In most cases, the older the children, the more complex the reaction and more difficult the adaptation. There are many reasons why. Older children have a longer history in the former family unit, regardless of how healthy or toxic it has been. Perhaps they remember better times spent with one or both parents. Even if there were no good memories to look back upon, older children were accustomed to the existing family dynamic. They knew their place in the structure, and felt a sense of comfort in “what is.” Resisting change is a natural part of being human. For teenagers that resistance is compounded by a tendency to test boundaries and rock the status quo. Divorce or separation naturally makes all children feel powerless over their circumstances. For teens, who are more

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When a Divorced Parent Abandons or Rejec...

When a Divorced Parent Abandons or Rejects the Kids
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Following divorce, most parents are eager to see the children as frequently as possible. Often this desire results in heated battles in or out of court focused around custody issues. In many cases co-parenting is the ideal option. A parenting plan is set into place and the children are moved between two homes giving them continued access to both parents. While many parents may not want to “share” the children, they often realize this is in their child’s best interest. So they come up with an arrangement both parents can live with. In families that don’t co-parent, usually one parent has primary custody of the children. The other parent takes the reins on a scheduled basis. This regular visitation may be over weekends, specific days per month, or periodic visits during the year if distance is a factor. Parental Rejection: the saddest outcome of divorce! In

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When One Divorced Parent Tries To Spoil ...

When One Divorced Parent Tries To Spoil the Kids
parenting after divorce can be challenging By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC  It’s a common scenario. One divorced parent is spoiling the kids. Usually, they aren’t equally sharing parenting. So they  treat the children to lavish gifts, trips and other indulgences when spending time with the kids. Often the custodial parent may be struggling financially. Which infuriates that parent. In many cases it’s mom who finds herself in that position. However, not always. Either way, it’s a challenging dilemma to tackle. Smart parents know not to bad-mouth the spoiling parent to the kids. (They understand that put-downs will only backfire on them in the long run.) So custodial Mom (or Dad) is looking for suggestions on how to best handle this situation. Not surprisingly, there is often an underlying motive behind this kind of behavior. In many cases i t’s related to how frequently the other parent sees

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Make Effective Communication Top Priorit...

Make Effective Communication Top Priority For Co-Parenting Success
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Sure, divorce may end a marriage. But when you’re a parent it doesn’t end the need for working together on behalf of your children. How you communicate with one another about parenting issues is crucially important. That’s because it will affect your children today and for years to come! Here are some tips on keeping communication with your Ex as effective as possible. Communicate in writing  Use one of the many co-parenting apps/tools to schedule co-parenting appointments. You can also keep clear records of all conversations, notes, memos, and details. Avoid in-person or telephone talk if there is tension, animosity or conflict. Writing enables you to express yourself clearly and succinctly. Emails and texts record dates and time which can also be useful. Focus on the present – not the past  Communication is not about re-hashing old wounds and arguments. Focus on the issues at hand.

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5 Ways To Ease Between-Home Transitions ...

5 Ways To Ease Between-Home Transitions For Your Kids After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC During divorce proceedings parenting plans or contact schedules are usually established to create a semblance of routine in this new chapter of family life. I am a strong believer in co-parenting whenever possible to serve the best interest of your children. But it’s the reality of post-divorce daily life that puts everyone to the test. Here are 5 important ways to ease the co-parenting process and between-home transitions for everyone involved. Be more focused on your kids’ wellbeing than yours. Co-parenting is not about you. It’s about your children’s quality of life. If you have to overlook some annoyances to achieve a more peaceful outcome, do it. For your kids. For the greater good. For your own overall sanity! You’ll work out touchy issues more smoothly if you enter the process remembering this is all for giving your children the best childhood possible, despite your divorce.

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Bashing Your Ex Is Really Bad For Your K...

Bashing Your Ex Is Really Bad For Your Kids!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all do it from time to time. Make a sarcastic comment about our ex, criticize something they did or didn’t do, gesture or grimace our faces when referring to our former spouse. When we do it in front of, near or within hearing distance of our children, we set ourselves up for a hornet’s nest of problems. We have all heard this, but it’s easy to forget or let slide. It hurts our children when they hear one of their parents put down the other. This is so even if your child does not say anything about it. With rare exceptions, children innately feel they are part of both parents. They love them both even when that love isn’t returned to them in the same way. When you put down their other parent your children are likely to interpret it as a put-down of part

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Divorce Co-Parenting Depends On Coordina...

Divorce Co-Parenting Depends On Coordination & Cooperation
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Children are always affected by Divorce Moving through a divorce can seem like an insurmountable obstacle. For many parents it is just the beginning of a new and equally intimidating challenge: co-parenting your children. Hats off to all of you who have chosen to remain in your children’s lives as co-parents. It means both of you deeply care about your children. It confirms you want to continue raising them in the least-disruptive possible manner. Of course, not all parents can share the parenting process in this way. For some couples it is not the ideal situation to even attempt it. Those couples who are determined to co-parent mindfully, certainly deserve credit and acknowledgement. They seek solutions that involve cooperation and coordination between both parents. For example, choosing to live relatively close to one another. That reduces negative impact on school, sports and

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Keys To Rebuilding Your Self Esteem Afte...

Keys To Rebuilding Your Self Esteem After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Communication with your child is essential. Divorce can be devastating on many levels. In addition to the financial and stress toll on both partners, it can easily wreak havoc on one’s self-esteem. Even those who initiate the divorce process can experience tremendous emotional turmoil resulting in guilt, anxiety and insecurity. Those who were not expecting or desiring the break-up can feel psychologically battered. They are often confused and come away questioning their own worth. It’s hard to tackle these burdens alone. A divorce coach, therapist, support group or other related resources can be quite valuable. They will remind you that: you are not alone in your experiences or feelings there can be a brighter future ahead for you you must take proactive steps in that direction While family and friends are usually very well-intentioned, their support may not always be helpful for

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Parental Alienation and Divorce Conflict...

Parental Alienation and Divorce Conflict: Don’t Blame the Kids!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC It’s all too common to find parents who rage about their ex after the divorce. This usually includes venting about the other parent’s parenting skills. The results can be devastating. We all know divorce conflicts between parents can get ugly. But too often we forget the effects, not only on the “targeted” parent. Disrespectful words, actions and decisions take their toll on your innocent children! This becomes a form of parental alienation. PA is a serious and complex set of behaviors. They are designed to win the favor of one parent against the other. In most cases, that parent feels fully justified in their behaviors. They refuse to see or acknowledge the harm in the alienation. When kids get caught in the middle ... Of course, the biggest consequence is that the children get caught in the middle. They are often confused by hurtful and disrespectful

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