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Child Centered Divorce

The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent

Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC

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Shared Parenting & Child Custody – Put D

Shared Parenting & Child Custody – Put Down the Boxing Gloves
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When divorced parents let the negative emotions they're feeling toward their former spouses - hatred, hurt, disappointment, guilt, shame, anxiety, frustration, mistrust and more - influence their decisions about child-custody issues, they are sabotaging their children. It is selfish, insensitive and extremely unproductive to let your personal vendetta determine the relationship your children have with their other parent – and extended family on both sides. Throughout the U.S. and the world divorce professionals are talking about proposed changes to child custody legislation. Investigative committees are being formed and new legislation is being considered about whether shared parenting may be the best custodial situation for all children of divorcing parents. While I am a strong advocate of shared parenting - it worked very successfully for me - I do not believe it's the right or only answer for everyone. Because every situation is different when it comes

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Bashing Your Ex Has Bad Consequences For...

Bashing Your Ex Has Bad Consequences For Children Of Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all do it from time to time. Make a sarcastic comment about our ex, criticize something they did or didn’t do, gesture or grimace our faces when referring to our former spouse. When we do it in front of, near or within hearing distance of our children, we set ourselves up for a hornet’s nest of problems. We have all heard this, but it’s easy to forget or let slide. It hurts our children when they hear one of their parents put down the other. This is so even if your child does not say anything about it. With rare exceptions, children innately feel they are part of both parents. They love them both even when that love isn’t returned to them in the same way. When you put down their other parent your children are likely to interpret it as a put-down of part

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When Divorced Parents Abandon Or Reject ...

When Divorced Parents Abandon Or Reject Their Kids
The emotional toll of divorce on children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Following divorce, most parents are eager to see the children as frequently as possible. Often this desire results in heated battles inside or out of court focused around custody issues. In many cases co-parenting is the ideal option. A parenting plan is set into place and the children are moved between two homes giving them continued access to both parents. While many parents may not want to “share” the children, they often realize this is in their kid’s best interest, and therefore come up with an arrangement they can live with. In families that don’t co-parent, usually one parent has primary custody of the children with the other parent taking the reins on a scheduled basis. This regular visitation may be over weekends, specific days per month, or periodic visits during the year if distance

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Divorce is Tough – Even On Your Adult Ch

Divorce is Tough – Even On Your Adult Children!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Anger-Conflict Programs for Co-Parenting & Other Life Challenges We all know divorce is tough on families, especially when children are involved. In most cases, the older the children, the more complex the reaction and more difficult the adaptation. This includes adult children, as well. Adult children have a longer history in the former family unit, regardless of how healthy or toxic it has been. Perhaps they remember better times when Mom and Dad interacted with them and each other with more joy and harmony. Even if there were no good times to look back upon, adult and older children were accustomed to the existing family dynamic, knew their place in the structure, and felt a sense of comfort in “what is.” Resisting change is a natural part of being human. For adult children of divorce that resistance is compounded by a tendency

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Are Your Kids Paying The Price For Your ...

Are Your Kids Paying The Price For Your Difficult Divorce? How Not To Sabotage Your Divorce For the Sake of the Kids!
Parents Fighting Around Kids After Divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Most people believe belive that it’s divorce itself that scars children. But the real truth is HOW PARENTS HANDLE THE DIVORCE IS WHAT DOES THE MOST DAMAGE!  Know that, I faced a lot of skepticism, from both the media and from parents, when I started my work as Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network.  There were gender battles between mothers and fathers – each side accusing the other of being damaging to the wellbeing of the children.  There were sweeping generalizations about the impact of divorce on children – with cultural and religious contention that divorce was bad and staying together for the sake of the kids was somehow morally superior!  I fought those battels on TV, radio, blogs, magazine articles and social media – and slowly found support and strong endorsements from experts around the

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Managing Anger & Other Co-Parenting Chal

Managing Anger & Other Co-Parenting Challenges After Divorce
Anger-Conflict Programs for Co-Parenting & Other Life Challenges By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Anger is a natural consequence of a relationship breakup or divorce. But not all anger is the same and it’s important to understand how anger is affecting not only your divorce, but also your life and your other relationships. Is anger seeping into your relationship with your kids? With your in-laws, or other family members? Will anger negatively impact your future romantic relationships? If not handled affectively, it certainly will. No one wants to be in a relationship with an angry partner. But often we don’t see the anger others see in us. Or we feel our anger is so justified we don’t care about how it affects us. Or affects others. Especially our kids! Balancing Our Anger Effectively There are ways to handle, manage and work through our anger so it’s not destructive

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Why YOU – Not A Divorce Judge – Should R

Why YOU – Not A Divorce Judge – Should Resolve Child Custody Disputes!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Judges and others in the divorce judicial system mean well. However, they are burdened with too many cases to unravel the complexities involved for each family. That leads to serious complications, injustice and errors. Consequently it is wise to do everything you can to stay out of court when settling child custody issues and disputes. Based on speaking to many family law attorneys I believe that situations work out best, long-term, when decisions are made by the parents themselves rather than being left to the legal system. Most parents continue to co-parent their children after divorce. Except for circumstances where children are at risk, both parents have the responsibility to put the their children first by working out a parenting plan that is in the children’s best interests. Having trouble agreeing on a plan that works for both parents and the kids? Remember: If you are

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Children and Divorce: 5 Keys To Help You...

Children and Divorce: 5 Keys To Help Your Kids Thrive
Make smart parenting decisions after divorce. By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC No one plans to get divorced. But more than one million children in the U.S. will experience its affects this year alone. Divorce has become relatively mainstream in our culture, but that doesn’t make it easier for the parents or children involved. Consequently, innocent kids are coping with the consequences every day. The good news is that divorce need not wound and scar your children if you put their emotional and psychological needs first when making crucial decisions. It’s misguided parents – angry, resentful, hurt and mistrusting – who unintentionally set their children up for painful outcomes. These parents don’t understand that every decision they make regarding their divorce will affect the wellbeing of their children in countless ways. The emotional scars are not only harder to see, they’re also much harder to erase. Here are

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How To Tell Your Children About the Divo...

How To Tell Your Children About the Divorce:  A Proven Approach That’s Sensitive and Sane!
The best approach to breaking the divorce news to your children! By Rosalind Sedacca, DCD  Few children outgrow the warm comfort of a bedtime tale. And like most kids, my son always enjoyed his baby pictures – watching himself grow and change. Divorce is certainly no fairytale, but I thought, ‘Maybe combing a story with our own family photos will help him grasp the biggest, most dramatic change of his life.’ When I decided to end my marriage, I spent countless sleepless, anxiety-filled nights trying to figure out how my then-11-year-old son might survive the trauma. I knew I had to help him understand that the divorce was not his fault; that his dad and I would always love him and keep him safe; and that things would turn out okay. I wanted a way to tell him the divorce was essentially about change – not

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Shared Parenting v. Equal Parenting: 5 W...

Shared Parenting v. Equal Parenting: 5 Ways the New Laws Will Hurt Kids
Guest Post by Karen Covey Children affected by Divorce The story is all too familiar. The kids stand on the front steps, consumed by sadness. They watch their father walk toward the car. Silent tears roll down their cheeks while their dad gets in the car and drives away. As soon as he’s out of view, he chokes up and pulls over. He doesn’t want to lose his kids. But shared parenting seems like an impossible dream. It’s scenes like this one that have fueled the Father’s Rights movement. Over the past few decades, Father’s Rights advocates have slowly been chipping away at the assumption that mothers should always have sole custody of the kids in divorce. For years, fathers have been fighting to have an equal say in how their kids are raised. They have fought to get more time with their kids. Now, they’re

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