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Child Centered Divorce
The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent
Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC
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5 Tips to Help Children Cope With Divorc...

5 Tips to Help Children Cope With Divorce!
B Communication with your child is essential. Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce need not wound and scar your children if you put their emotional and psychological needs first when making crucial decisions. Some parents don’t understand that every decision they make regarding their divorce will affect the well-being of their children in countless ways. The emotional scars are not only harder to see, they’re also much harder to erase. Here are five keys to helping your children cope with and even thrive after divorce. Remind them this is not their fault.  Children tend to blame themselves for divorce, no matter how bad Mom and Dad’s relationship has been. The younger the child, the more likely this is so. Sit down together and talk to your children, emphasizing that they are in no way at fault. You can say something like: “Mom and Dad don’t agree about certain

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How to Rebuild Your Self Esteem After Di...

How to Rebuild Your Self Esteem After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CC Divorce can be devastating on many levels. In addition to the financial and stress toll on both partners as well as the children, it can easily wreak havoc on one's self-esteem. Even those who initiate the divorce process can experience tremendous emotional turmoil resulting in guilt, anxiety and insecurity. Those who were not expecting or in any way desiring the break-up can come away feeling psychologically battered, confused and questioning their own worth. It's hard to tackle these burdens alone. A support group, private coach or professional counselor will be very valuable. These resource will remind you that 1) you are not alone in your experiences or feelings and 2) there is a brighter future ahead for you - if you take proactive steps in that direction. While family and friends are usually very well-intentioned, their support may not always be helpful for you. They have

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How To Nurture the Grandparent-Grandchil...

How To Nurture the Grandparent-Grandchild Love Bond Despite Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When divorce enters a family, everyone is affected.  Sometimes the impact on grandparents is overlooked amidst the turmoil involving parents and children. Sadly, the effect can be devastating for grandparents who want to help and also stay in the lives of the children they love. Grandparents often ask me, "How can I support stay close to my grandkids when we are geographically separated?" You do that by maintaining and strengthening the relationship you already have. Below are some ways you can stay in the lives of your grandchildren despite the distance between you. Keep in mind the technology gap may be real, but you don’t have to connect in the same way they play with their friends. Remind them you do things differently in some ways, and invite them to try things at your pace while you try to adapt to theirs. ·      Create a special

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Divorce and Parenting: Teaching Valuable...

Divorce and Parenting: Teaching Valuable Life Lessons To Your Children
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Your behavior helps children cope with divorce As a divorced parent, what lessons and behaviors are you modeling for your children? The messages you convey will influence your children into adulthood. Here's valuable advice on leaving a positive imprint as role models for your innocent children during and after divorce.  Bad things can happen to good people. Divorce is a prime example.  Good people get divorced. Responsible people who are loving parents get caught in the decision to end a loveless or deceitful marriage. The consequences of that decision can either be life affirming or destroying. It all  depends on how each parent approaches this transition. Parents who are blinded by blame and anger are not likely to learn much through the experience. They see their former spouse as the total problem in their life. Consequently, they believe that getting rid of

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Tips and Tools To Effectively Talk Divor...

Tips and Tools To Effectively Talk Divorce With Your Children
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Facing divorce and stymied about how to tell your kids? Worried about how it will affect them? Hurting them with the news? What to say and not say? What they will do? How much to confide? Well, you’re not alone. There’s no doubt this might be one of the most difficult conversations you’ll ever have. Despite that, you must be prepared. Here are the five mistakes most commonly made by parents. Be sure you don’t add stress to your children’s lives by making these errors. Exposing your children to parental conflict or fighting. Studies show that this does more damage to children than any other factor in their lives – whether in a divorced or still married family. Keep your battles away from your child’s eyes and ears to ensure they still get to have the childhood they deserve. Bad-mouthing their other parent. Any display of

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Dating After Divorce: Use Caution When T...

Dating After Divorce: Use Caution When Telling Your Kids!
Attentive communication with your child is essential. By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all know divorce creates havoc in any family's life, especially when children are involved. Moving on after divorce can also be challenging. It's a time to be very gentle, both with yourself as well as with your children. Chances are, you made a considerable emotional investment in your marriage. Having seen that relationship end can make you insecure about facing new relationships ahead. So take the time to go within, learn from your mistakes, and understand the lessons from your marriage. That will help you determine new ways to approach future relationships. In time you will feel ready to step back out into the dating world again. Then you face the challenge of breaking the news to your children. Be Mindful, Sensitive and Empathic! Of course the age of your children will play a

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Consistent Co-parenting Is a Blessing Fo...

Consistent Co-parenting Is a Blessing For Children of Divorce
Pets help children cope with divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Parenting after divorce takes patience, cooperation and collaboration. It's not uncommon for one parent to notice behavior differences in their children when they return from a stay with their other parent. This can be extremely frustrating or irritating, especially if your values and parenting style doesn't match that of your former spouse. What can you do to remedy the situation? Try having a conversation about how inconsistencies affect your children after divorce - and see if you can come to some mutual agreements.  Consistency eases post-divorce adjustment Consistency in parenting creates the smoothest transition after divorce - and in the years that follow. If the rules previously established in your home are still followed by both parents after the divorce, the children are likely to more easily adjust to the new transitions in their life. In

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Your Co-Parenting Success Depends On Mak...

Your Co-Parenting Success Depends On Making Smart Choices
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce doesn't end your co-parenting relationship with your former spouse. It only changes some of the structure. It is still essential to create a working relationship focused on the optimum care and concern for your children. Every co-parenting relationship will be unique, affected by your post-divorce family dynamics. However, there are guidelines that will enhance the results for children in any family. Here are some crucial points to keep in mind to maximize your co-parenting success. Respect your co-parent's boundaries: Chances are your former spouse has a different parenting style than you, with some conflicting rules. Rather than stress yourself about these differences, learn to accept that life is never consistent and it may actually be beneficial for your kids to experience other ways of doing things. Step back from micro-managing your co-parent's life. If the kids aren't in harm's way, let go and focus on

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Soberlink and The Child-Centered Divorce...

Soberlink and The Child-Centered Divorce Network  Honor National Child-Abuse Prevention Month  by Addressing Alcohol Misuse and Promoting Healthy Shared-Parenting Time
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Sadly, in our nation and beyond, children are still being mistreated, neglected, and abused. In April, we recognize National Child-Abuse Prevention Month by raising awareness of how parents, professionals, and concerned parties can protect children from the lasting effects of adverse childhood experiences—especially those caused by a parent’s alcohol misuse. For many families, divorce doesn’t end the challenges—it often marks the beginning of new ones, especially when one parent struggles with alcohol abuse. The consequences of this dynamic can lead to emotional harm, instability, and in some cases, overlooked forms of child abuse. That’s why the Child-Centered Divorce Network has partnered with Soberlink this April. Together, we are committed to highlighting ways to make shared parenting safer, more secure, and less stressful for both parents and, most importantly, for the children caught in the middle. Soberlink’s portable alcohol monitoring devices have become a vital resource for

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Using Your Children As Spies Post-Divorc...

Using Your Children As Spies Post-Divorce: Don’t Do It!
Probing and pressuring can be abusive when you cross the line By Rosalind Sedacca Following divorce it's tempting to turn your children into "spies." Don't go there! When children are told to report on the activities of the other parent, it places the children in a no-win situation. Even worse, using your children as spies has other negative consequences. It promotes lying and deceit. Not surprisingly, encouraging spying also leads to  picking sides. And it often creates loyalty conflicts for your children. As a result, your kids may clam up, become untruthful, or untrustworthy. Not surprisingly, it's not easy to break the habit of inappropriately questioning your children after they return from time spent with their other parent. However, it must be done. It helps to think about it from your child's perspective. How do your kids feel when  transitioning from one home to the other?

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