Child Centered Divorce Blog Index

Balancing Boundaries & Privacy Issues As

Balancing Boundaries & Privacy Issues as Divorced Co-Parents By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC After divorce most parents want to keep their private lives private. They don’t want the children sharing too many details about their visit time. This can create frustration for parents as they struggle to find balance in the privacy versus sharing equation. And there’s no simple solution. Often your co-parent may ask the kids not to tell you about what they did, ate or talked about during their visits. Yet, as a parent, it’s only natural to ask questions. To want to know how your kids spent their time. Handled compassionately, you can avoid needless conflict. Asking your children to “spy” on their other parent puts them in an awkward situation. They feel guilty, pressured and confused, especially if either parent tells them not to share specific information. This complex topic needs to be addressed between both parents. And should be agreed upon in

Parenting After Divorce

Divorce or Separation During School Year Especially Tough on Children

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Many families experience separation or divorce as summer approaches, taking advantage of the school break to ease post-divorce transitions. There are many other families, however, that make the split during the school year. There are several reasons why this sometimes becomes a necessity. Many couples considering a divorce decide to wait until after the holidays to break the news to their children. Others wait to take advantage of year-end job bonuses. This can provide additional funds to cover attorney, moving and other related expenses. Still others are faced with unexpected circumstances which accelerate the decision to divorce. Regardless, it’s not the why that matters most at this time – it’s the how. How are these parents going to approach their separation or divorce – and how will it affect their innocent children? Compassionate, mindful decisions make all the difference! I, too, planned my separation mid-school year.

Child-Centered Divorce

Protecting You & Your Children From the Emotional Toll of Divorce!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce can be devastating when you’re a parent. You can’t just crawl into a hole and grieve, rant or rage. You must still care for the wellbeing of your children. And sometimes this challenge is so overwhelming parents fail to cope with the responsibilities of parenting. When that happens, your children pay a high price. And very often, you may not be fully aware of how your kids are affected. It’s not always easy to remember that your children may be grieving as deeply as you are during and after divorce. It’s even more frightening for them because they were not responsible for the divorce. Nor are they aware of the complex dynamics that led up to the split. Their fears are compounded by apprehension about whether either parent may ever divorce them. They fear what will happen to them and their family in the future.

Child-Centered Divorce

Co-parenting Cooperatively So You Can Protect Your Children!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry provides this advice. Children of divorce do best when both of their parents continue to be actively involved in their lives. It's the ongoing connection that makes the positive difference for children, minimizing the fact that their parents no longer live together. That's why co-parenting is so universally encouraged after divorce. It's a meaningful way to reduce the long-term emotional impact on children. Co-parenting styles and arrangements can differ widely from family to family to suit their individual needs. However, most all professionals agree that co-parenting will only succeed if some basic commitments are made. Equally important, significant mistakes must be avoided. Here are some good rules to follow: 1. Don't deny your child personal time with both of their parents. To help your child defeat the challenges and disruptions that come with divorce, remember this. Give them

Parenting After Divorce

Dating After Divorce: Straight Answers To 7 Challenging Questions!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC I applaud parents who are striving to create a Child-Centered Divorce. It's not always the easiest path, but it certainly is the most rewarding in the long-term for your children. It involves understanding and respecting your children's needs whenever you are making decisions about your own life. This includes all facets of co-parenting. It also moves into decisions about starting over and dating after divorce. As parents move beyond divorce and start thinking about the prospect of finding new relationships, there is much to take into account. When it comes to issues related to dating after divorce, here are some common questions I am asked and the advice I suggest. Is it ok to date when you're separated, or should you wait until you are legally divorced? It's always better to take some time to prepare yourself before starting to date - legally divorced or not.

Relationship Advice

Co-Parenting After Divorce: 3 Crucial Questions Every Parent Must Answer

Co-Parenting Positively After Divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Sadly, not every Family Law attorney is Child-Centered. Many are seriously too self-centered. They put their personal welfare before the wellbeing of the family caught up in the divorce. The outcome can be a higher conflict and higher cost divorce. Michael Matracci, Esq. is one of the "good guy" collaborative divorce attorneys who avidly supports the concept and principles of Child-Centered Divorce. He is the author of an excellent book I've been recommending for you. Fighting Over the Kids: Resolving Day-to-Day Custody Conflict in Divorce Situations can be found on Amazon and his website at www.divorcewithoutdishonor.com. I had the pleasure of interviewing Michael, who is a divorced parent himself. He shared with me a valuable technique he uses when dealing with parenting issues with his former spouse. I loved the concept and am passing it along to you.

Child-Centered Divorce

Divorce Decisions & the Economy: No Excuse For Irresponsible Parenting

Cooperative coparenting supports children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Is our down-turned economy having an effect on divorce in the U.S. and other nations around the world? While it’s too early for statistical evidence, many Marriage and Divorce professionals word-wide are in agreement. These are tough times. Professionals are seeing couples who were ready to call it quits postponing the divorce decision due to financial reasons. With food, clothing, vehicle, home and rental pricing at record highs, many are not divorcing because they can’t afford it. Does this mean couples are finding new ways to get along and reconsider their marriages? In some cases, yes. However, for others it just means adapting to ongoing states of unhappiness, disappointment and frustration. This, of course, does not bear well for their innocent children. They experience the negative consequences of a distressed marriage. The kids are affected whether the couple

Child-Centered Divorce

What If Your Kids Resist Divorce Visits With Their Other Parent?

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Parenting after divorce is always challenging, especially when your children act out. One big issue is handling children if they resist visitation with their other parent. Many factors come into play when this occurs. Here are some questions to ask yourself which can help you determine the source of the problem. They’ll also help you understand the reasons why your children are resisting post-divorce contact with their other parent. For simplification purposes, I’m using Dad as the example. However, this happens to fathers and mothers alike depending on their prior and post-divorce relationships. Questions for parental self-reflection Are the kids feeling guilty or disloyal when leaving your presence? This can easily influence their feelings toward spending time with their Dad. Have they been privy to information, slurs or other comments that make them dislike their Dad? Do they hear you complain about him to family or

Parenting After Divorce

Breaking The Divorce News? 5 Pitfalls To Avoid When Telling Kids!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Facing divorce and stymied about how to tell your kids? Wondering how it will affect them? Worried about hurting them with the news? When’s the best time to talk? What to say and not say? How they will respond? Not sure just what to confide? Well, you’re not alone. There’s no doubt this might be one of the most difficult conversations you’ll ever have. It’s a talk your children won’t want to have – and you must be prepared. 5 Big Mistakes To Avoid Here are the five mistakes most commonly made by parents. Be sure you don’t add stress to your children’s lives by making these errors. 1. Exposing your children to parental conflict. That not only includes fighting. Bad-mouthing their other parent, eye-rolling, sarcasm and other disrespectful behavior or remarks count too. Studies show that this does more damage to children than any other

How Do I Tell the Kids About The Divorce?

4 Ways Parental Anger and Conflict Harm Children of Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Does parental anger affect children of divorce? Studies repeatedly show that fighting around the children does more damage to them than divorce itself. That’s why as parents we need to be diligent in monitoring our children as well as our own behavior. So, we can safeguard our kids from emotional and psychological damage. Exposure to conflict can change a child’s self-image and sense of security. It impacts their concept of the world and their ability to trust others. The consequences can last a lifetime. A study published in the Journal of Research on Adolescence* shows that children exposed to constant parental bickering are more likely to be depressed. They are also more prone to expressing other “problem behaviors,” including substance abuse, aggression and poor school grades. Some children regress back to bed-wetting, thumb sucking or limiting social contact. Others move into bullying, acting out and thoughts

Child-Centered Divorce

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Balancing Boundaries & Privacy Issues As

Divorce or Separation During School Year...

Protecting You & Your Children From the

Co-parenting Cooperatively So You Can Pr...

Dating After Divorce: Straight Answers ...

Co-Parenting After Divorce: 3 Crucial Qu...

Divorce Decisions & the Economy: No Excu

What If Your Kids Resist Divorce Visits ...

Breaking The Divorce News? 5 Pitfalls To...

4 Ways Parental Anger and Conflict Harm ...

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