Child Centered Divorce Blog Index

Dating After Divorce: 3 Tips When Tellin...

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all know divorce creates havoc in any family’s life, especially when children are involved – even adult children. Moving on after divorce can also be challenging. It’s a time to be very gentle, both with yourself as well as with your children. Chances are, you made a considerable emotional investment in your marriage. Having seen that relationship fail can make you insecure about facing new relationships ahead. So take the time to go within. Learn from your mistakes -- we've all made them. Understand the lessons from your marriage. Determine new ways to approach future relationships. At some point you will feel ready to step back out into the dating world again. Then you face the challenge of breaking the news to your children. Tweens, teens and grown children usually present special challenges. So prepare with that in mind. Be Sensitive and Empathic! Of course

Parenting After Divorce

5 Ways To Help Your Kids Genuinely Thrive After Your Divorce!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC How do you know your kids are managing well after your divorce? As a divorced parent you owe it to your children to diligently watch their behavior. And listen to their conversations. In addition, to be aware of any changes that may be due to challenges related to the divorce. Children can adapt well to life after divorce. But it’s up to you to catch signs they may be confused, anxious, insecure or in other ways having problems coping with their new reality. Here are 5 vitally important ways to know your children are doing well, and thriving, despite your divorce: They continue to thrive at school When school grades fall or aggressive behavior develops, parents need to be proactive and not wait on the sidelines. Conversations with teachers and school counselors can give you a better perspective on your child’s needs. Don’t hesitate to talk

Parenting After Divorce

How Parental Anger Affects Your Children – During & Long After Divorce!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Children have a difficult time understanding what your anger means. They may experience shock, disbelief, fear, guilt, grief, confusion, shame and outrage by your aggressive tendencies. Observe how your behavior is affecting the children in your home and realize that you are a major role model for them. It is very likely that your children will grow to imitate your behavior and reactions – even if they disapprove of it at this time. Adults are responsible for helping children learn appropriate behaviors and coping skills. Without positive guidance children may experience the following behavior patterns resulting from your anger issues: Physical aggression towards others such as hitting, harming, screaming, kicking, etc. Sleep problems Feelings of inadequacy Increased fears, especially about losing a parent through divorce Depression/sadness School behavior problems Stomach aches, headaches, nausea and other stress-related physical symptoms Feeling their home is no longer a safe

Parenting After Divorce

How Guilt Can Impact You and Your Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Many caring parents I speak to admit to feeling tremendous guilt during and after their divorce. It's easy to understand why. Parents who are aware of the emotional toll a separation or divorce can take on their children often feel torn about whether they made the right decision. Asking relevant questions can be healthy! Are they being selfish in moving ahead with the divorce? Will this experience psychologically scar their children for life? Will the kids ever forgive them - or their other parent - for initiating the divorce? Are they making the right decisions regarding co-parenting and visitation? Are they overwhelmed by the challenges of parent to parent communication? Are they failing in discussing relevant decisions with the kids? These are valid questions to ask yourself. The answers should be seriously considered before moving into divorce. However, divorce is never a black and white issue.

Child-Centered Divorce

6 Guidelines For Divorced Parents Before You Start Dating!

Communication with your child is essential. By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Dating after divorce as a single parent comes with its own set of challenges. When you’re a parent you can’t forget the child in your life, much as you may want to when out in the dating world. Parenting is a life-long responsibility. It doesn’t matter whether your child is with you full-time or you have a shared visitation schedule. Either way, it’s crucial that you approach being single with the awareness that you are also parent. And that should influence all of your social and relationship decisions. Because your kids' emotional and psychological wellbeing is at stake -- and that is something you must never forget. Here are some realistic guidelines that will keep you on track when the allure of dating and new relationships can be distracting! 1. Be up front with new partners

Relationship Advice

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6 CRUCIAL MESSAGES WHEN TELLING YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT YOUR UPCOMING DIVORCE

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC One of the toughest conversations any parent will ever have is breaking the divorce news to your children. Regardless of their age, kids are emotionally impacted in so many painful ways. It’s a subject that’s heartbreaking to discuss, frightening to digest, and overwhelming to think about for parents and children alike. That’s why I wrote How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Protecting Your Children – With Love! It conveys my internationally acclaimed strategy combining photos, parental support and communication principles that work. When both parents plan their approach in advance, agree not to point fingers at one another, and share a message that is hopeful and compassionate, the experience is better for everyone in the family. Navigating the Dreaded Divorce Talk Here are six crucial messages to include in your divorce talk. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Children of

How Do I Tell the Kids About The Divorce?

The Power of Forgiveness in Divorce: The Gift You Give Yourself!

The Divorce/Separation Path By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Most all mental health practitioners consider forgiveness to be a major step forward in coping with life's harshest experiences. Divorce certainly fits into that category. It's important to explore the value of forgiving yourself for anything related to your past relationships and the divorce. In that way you can benefit from learning lessons that life gives us for personal growth Self-Forgiveness is a Healthy Personal Choice! Forgiveness starts by making a decision to forgive. That decision frees you to let go of the old hurts. You give yourself permission to release the negative emotions associated with past and present relationship partners. You then choose to not let their decisions, comments and actions hurt you anymore. The healing choice is yours to make! Unless you forgive others, your feelings of resentment, hurt and humiliation will continue being an active part

Relationship Advice

Don’t Divorce Your Children’s Grandparents!

Grandparents - grandchildren - affected by divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When parents divorce, each member of the family is affected in unique and personal ways. This is influenced by the age of the child, their gender and their relationship with their siblings. Equally important is how close they were to each parent. Many other factors impact the physical, mental and emotional repercussions in the months and years ahead. One that's too often overlooked are the grandparents. Their lives can be forever changed and scarred by the complexities of divorce. Custody issues are hard enough for parents to battle out. Few take into account the consequences for grandparents. Their unconditional love for the grandchildren can play such a healthy and rewarding part of normal family life. It can be a refuge your kids will depend on post-divorce as well! Don't make innocent grandparents pay the price!

Child-Centered Divorce

Talk “To” – Not “At” – Your Child … Through Divorce and Beyond!

Communication with your child is essential. By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Most parents don't know how to talk to their children. It's one of the underlying reasons for parent-child communication, respect and trust issues within the family parent-child communication dynamic. You wouldn't think one would need to be reminded to talk to your children. Unfortunately, many parents need just such a reminder. Especially in today's mega-paced culture where just sitting down to a family dinner together seems to be a major accomplishment. Too often busy parents find themselves talking "at" their children, but not "to" them. And most especially, not "with" them. This, of course, is problematic in any family trying to raise socially, emotionally and spiritually healthy children. However, it is especially dangerous if that family is facing the challenges of divorce or separation. Think about your parent-child communication skills and rapport. If they're not optimal

Child-Centered Divorce

Protecting Your Pets As Well As Children During & After Divorce

Pets help children cope with divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Abandoned pets are one of the many sad outcomes of divorce. Marital problems, conflict and ultimately divorce is behind a significant number of pet turn-ins for animal shelters every year. Often one spouse doesn’t want to take the dog or cat while the other can’t keep them due to downsizing or reduced income. Many rental apartments won’t take pets over twenty pounds or allow more than one animal per unit. Sometimes couples will fight dramatically over family pets. They bring the conflict into mediation or attorney negotiations with as much emotion as their battles over child custody. In most states pets are still considered property, much like a car or antique furniture. The emotional connection to the family is not a factor in determining pet custody or relevance. Heartbreaking outcomes for children Frequently the divorcing couple

Child-Centered Divorce

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Dating After Divorce: 3 Tips When Tellin...

5 Ways To Help Your Kids Genuinely Thriv...

How Parental Anger Affects Your Children...

How Guilt Can Impact You and Your Divorc...

6 Guidelines For Divorced Parents Before...

6 CRUCIAL MESSAGES WHEN TELLING YOUR CHI...

The Power of Forgiveness in Divorce: The...

Don’t Divorce Your Children’s Grandparen

Talk “To” – Not “At” – Your Child … Thro

Protecting Your Pets As Well As Childre

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