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Child Centered Divorce

The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent

Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC

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4 Crucial Steps To Transforming Your Lif...

4 Crucial Steps To Transforming Your Life After Divorce!
parenting after divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce is always a life-altering experience. But it doesn’t have to be all negative. For many it’s a time of personal self-discovery. For others, a self-made prison of depression and resentment. What makes the difference is our acceptance of what is and our ability to use the divorce as a stepping stone to a new and better life. The bottom line: it’s all up to us. We can generate an attitude of positive expectation or we can choose instead a life filled with the pain of self-pity and despair. The real challenge: changing our attitude or perspective on life is not a simple task. But if you take consistent steps in that direction, you’ll create the foundation for a happier future -- both for yourself and the children you love. Start by focusing your attention on these 4 Steps

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Divorced Co-Parents’ Dilemma: Balancing

Divorced Co-Parents’ Dilemma: Balancing Privacy vs. Sharing
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC My co-parent tells our kids not to tell me about what goes on at home when they visit. Can’t I ask questions? You’re not alone in being frustrated by finding balance in the privacy versus sharing equation. And there is no simple answer. After divorce most parents want to keep their private lives private and don’t want the children sharing too many details about their visit time. Asking your children to “spy” on their other parent puts the kids in an awkward situation. They feel guilty, pressured and confused, especially if Mom or Dad tells them not to share specific information. This delicate subject needs to be addressed between both parents and agreed upon in advance. Discuss sensible boundaries, taking into account the age of your child. Children should be able to talk to both parents about activities, meals or other innocent details regarding their time

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Co-Parenting After Divorce Depends On Sm...

Co-Parenting After Divorce Depends On Smart Decisions
Divorce catches kids in the middle By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC If you’re a parent, divorce doesn’t end your relationship with your former spouse. It only changes the form in some specific ways. It is still essential to create a working relationship focused on the optimum care and concern for your children. Every co-parenting relationship will be unique, affected by your post-divorce family dynamics. However, there are guidelines that will enhance the results for children in any family. Here are some crucial points to keep in mind to maximize your co-parenting success. Respect your co-parent’s boundaries: Chances are your former spouse has a different parenting style than you, with some conflicting rules. Rather than stress yourself about these differences, learn to accept that life is never consistent and it may actually be beneficial for your kids to experience other ways of doing things. Step back from micro-managing

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Parents: Don’t Overlook Your Child’s Rea

Parents: Don’t Overlook Your Child’s Reaction To Your Divorce!
Be aware of the emotional toll of divorce on children! By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC: Parenting is always complex. Parenting following a divorce can add many other layers of distraction and confusion to the mix. That makes it even more important for parents to be aware of how their children are responding to the divorce. Misunderstanding your child’s stage of development One common error parents make is misunderstanding their child’s stage of development. That can lead to irrational and unrealistic expectations. Too often parents will assume that their child has a better handle on their emotions and a deeper understanding of human nature than is really possible at their age. So when their child acts out or otherwise misbehaves, it’s easy to misinterpret their intentions. Parents mistakenly see children, even teens, as little adults who bring adult reasoning and comprehension to daily circumstances. With that mindset, it’s

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Divorcing Parents: Don’t See Divorce As

Divorcing Parents: Don’t See Divorce As a Failure
Family Portrait By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all know divorce marks the end of a marital relationship. But when children are involved, it need not mean the end of the family. This is an important distinction for both parents and children to grasp. It can affect how that family is impacted by the divorce. Too often in our culture we look at divorce as a failure. That negative label puts an added emotional burden on parents when they are already feeling vulnerable, ashamed, anxious and confused. Rather than reflecting failure, divorce can be a solution for families. This is especially true for families that have been living with tension, anger, disrespect or other highly charged emotions. For those families divorce may become an intervention. It changes the form of a family, but need not mean the end of that family from a child's eyes. Parents who

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10 Key Questions Divorced Co-Parents Mus...

10 Key Questions Divorced Co-Parents Must Answer If You Really Love Your Kids!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorced parents face challenges that are not only complex; they are long lasting as well. There are many variations of joint parenting, co-parenting and other forms of divorced parenting based on how well both parents get along, their geographical proximity, the age of the children and other contributing factors. Every decision made will affect the children involved -- and the impact can be detected in children’s behavior, attitudes and levels of self-esteem. To help parents co-parent more effectively I’ve created a list of significant questions to ask yourselves. I share these during mentoring sessions with parents not only before, but long after the divorce as well. If you sit together and discuss these questions, or review them during mediation, it can help you avoid serious mistakes and unnecessary strife now and well into the future. The more honest you are with yourself and your former spouse,

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3 Keys To Rebuilding Your Self-Esteem Af...

3 Keys To Rebuilding Your Self-Esteem After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce catches kids in the middle Divorce can be devastating on many levels. In addition to the financial and stress toll on both partners, it can easily wreak havoc on one’s self-esteem. Even those who initiate the divorce process can experience tremendous emotional turmoil resulting in guilt, anxiety and insecurity. Those who were not expecting or in any way desiring the break-up can come away feeling psychologically battered, confused and questioning their own worth. It’s hard to tackle these burdens alone. A support group, personal divorce coach, professional counselor or other similar resources will be very valuable in reminding you that 1) you are not alone in your experiences or feelings and 2) there is a brighter future ahead for you – if you take proactive steps in that direction. While family and friends are usually very well-intentioned, their support may not

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2 Crucial Gifts Your Child Needs From Yo...

2 Crucial Gifts Your Child Needs From You After Your Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC One of the greatest challenges divorced parents face is adequately meeting their children’s needs during and after the divorce. While most parents pay lip service to focusing on the wellbeing of the children, sadly that’s not always the case. Divorcing and divorced parents can become overwhelmed by the emotional upheaval they are experiencing, especially if they don’t chose a positive divorce platform. After marinating in the anger, hurt, resentment, guilt, shame, blame and other conflicting emotions for so long, some lose their capacity to empathize with what their children are going through. Or they just stop caring. Other parents need parenting themselves. They  don’t have the ability to put their own needs aside to address the turmoil they see in their children. More than ever before co-parents need to feel and show compassion for their children. So  often kids are feeling frightened, confused, guilty, angry, ashamed

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Made Divorce Mistakes? It’s Not Too Late

Made Divorce Mistakes? It’s Not Too Late To Get it Right – For Your Children!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Whether you got divorced several weeks ago or it’s been several years, most of us can acknowledge that we’ve made some mistakes. Perhaps we lost our tempers at an inappropriate time and watched our children painfully internalize the experience. Maybe we referred to our ex in a rather unflattering way only to find our child get very upset and storm away in anger. Chances are, in the heat of the divorce drama, we settled for a decision or two that we later regretted and still feel unsettled. Or we made a child-related agreement that, in hindsight, was not in our child’s best interest – but we don’t know quite how to remedy the situation. While some legal matters will involve only legal resolution, there are many post-divorce relationship decisions involving our children that we can remedy. And it’s never too late to make amends and get

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Children in the Equation: How Kids are A...

Children in the Equation: How Kids are Affected by Divorce
Divorce catches kids in the middle It is estimated that between 42 to 45% percent of first marriages end in divorce. As partners who were once in love, going through a divorce can be extremely painful and frustrating. This experience is intensified ten-fold when you have children. There is no doubt that divorce has difficult emotional, educational, and social impacts on children. That’s why we’re teaching you the importance of co-parenting children through divorce and using a marriage therapist to your advantage after separation. How Kids are Affected by Divorce There are many reasons to see a marriage therapist if you are thinking about or are currently going through a divorce. One of the main reasons is so that you and your spouse can learn how to manage your children throughout your divorce. Here are just some of the ways that children are affected emotionally and mentally

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