Child-Centered Divorce Archives - Page 11 of 21

Back to School After Divorce: Helping Yo...

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC parenting after divorce Back to school time is always stressful for families. However, returning to school after their parents have separated or divorced can be especially difficult for any child. As a parent, you can ease the transition, by making the school your ally. This will open the door to the many resources available to you through the school. The key here is in forming a cooperative relationship with key personnel. Making your child’s teachers aware of your divorce and related changes in your home environment and scheduling will be helpful both for them and your child. That’s because school is really a second home for children in our culture. Regardless of their age, children can’t be expected to turn off their emotions during or after a divorce any more than their parents can. Fear, insecurity, shame, guilt and other emotions are usually triggered

Child-Centered Divorce

3 Comments

Should I Stay In a Toxic Marriage For the Sake of the Kids – Or Divorce?

An Interview with Rosalind Sedacca, CDC I understand you are a child of parents who stayed in a bad marriage rather than getting a divorce. What was that like? My childhood was not a happy one. My parents were good people caught in a bad relationship. They fought continuously. I remember hearing them fighting while I was in bed. I felt helpless to fix the problem. My parents made all the mistakes that divorced parents can make and I ending up hurt in the same ways as children of divorce done wrong. You say there are emotional and psychological scars for children when parents stay together in a toxic marriage. Tell us about that. Children feel the tension, the anger and often they blame themselves thinking if only I got better grades or cleaned up my room, maybe mom and dad would stop fighting. They feel insecure and walk on

Child-Centered Divorce

2 Comments

When Children of Divorce Act Out – Caring Parents Step Up!

By Rosalind Sedacca CDC Divorce, like life, is rarely neat and packaged. This is especially true for divorcing parents. The reality of divorce comes with unexpected twists, constant frustrations and times of utter helplessness when children act up or pull away. Here are three tips for coping with times when your children are venting, lashing out or expressing their own frustrations about being caught up in a family adjusting to separation or divorce. Diffusing blame. Some children, especially pre-teens and teens, may blame one parent or the other for the divorce. Sometimes they may be correct in this interpretation given circumstances they have been aware of for years (alcoholism, absent parent, domestic violence, etc.). Other times they side with one parent as a result of their prior relationship dynamics with that parent. Regardless of why you, or your spouse, are being blamed, keep your cool. In many cases blaming is

Child-Centered Divorce

Picture this: you’re getting divorced and you’re angry, resentful, hurt, or any combination of other painful emotions. You want to lash out at, or maybe get back at your soon to be former spouse. Hiring the most aggressive divorce lawyer you can find seems like your smartest choice. You are gearing up for a fight! But stop. Think. If you are a parent, you may be making a choice you regret for a long time. If you choose a lawyer who directs you into a vicious court battle, the costs may be insurmountable – not only the financial expenses, but the emotional costs as well. Think long and hard before you move your divorce battle into the legal system. If you do that it is likely to take its toll on every member of your family – especially your children – in the most destructive and gut-wrenching ways. It happens

Child-Centered Divorce

Should You Divorce or Stay? Parents Must Put Kids First Either Way!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CLC Stay together for the sake of the kids? Generations of miserable parents followed that advice hoping their sacrifices would pay off for their children in the end. Many still believe that’s the only option for parents stuck in a dead-end marriage. Based on my own personal experience, I have another perspective. Having been raised by parents that chose to stay together in a miserable marriage, I opt in on the other side. For me, parental divorce is preferable to years of living in a home where parents fight, disrespect one another and children are surrounded by sadness and anger. That’s the world I grew up in and the scars are still with me today, many decades later. I believe that staying in a marriage only for the kids is a physical choice that doesn’t touch upon the emotional and psychological pain children endure when their parents

Child-Centered Divorce

4 Comments

Do You Have an Anger Or Conflict Control Problem? Ask Yourself These Key Question and Find Out!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CLC We all get angry when we believe we are being wronged, misunderstood or unjustly accused. It’s a natural reaction to circumstances that put us on the defensive. But when we cannot identify or manage our anger, it can take over our lives and affect the wellbeing of those close to us. When our anger is focused on our relationship partners or a divorcing spouse, it can reach dangerous levels – especially when there are children involved. If managing anger has been a challenge for you, it is important to recognize signs to watch out for in your behavior. By identifying “red flag” warnings in advance, before you explode out of control, you can learn healthier ways of expressing anger, frustration and other difficult feelings, which will make for more peaceful and rewarding life experiences. Anger management issues need to be addressed before they destroy your life

Child-Centered Divorce, Relationship Advice

Color Through Divorce: A Therapeutic Coloring Book to Help Mom & Child Through Separation & Divorce

The first weeks and months after a separation or divorce can be quite challenging. With so many emotions -- especially anger, sadness and fear -- fighting for your attention, it's a wonder you make it through your day. To complicate matters even more, not only are you worried about yourself but you are worried about your kids too. What will the effects of divorce be on my child? Will I be able to help my child through my divorce? Will their behavior and grades be affected? What do I say if they get sad or mad? What if I don't know what to say at all? These and many more questions are probably swirling around your head. They were swirling around my head when I faced my divorce and most every parent has the same concerns. Sara Woodard-Ortiz is no different. After finding out that her husband had been cheating

Child-Centered Divorce

2 Comments

Parenting Yourself Through Divorce To Better Protect Your Children

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce is a life-altering experience that takes its toll on your physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing. Its ramifications not only turn your own world upside down, but can also seriously affect your innocent children – a dire consequence we all want to avoid. Since divorce is a process, often a lengthy one, there are days – yes, weeks and months – when life can seem awfully low. Often overbearing. The weight can seem just too much to carry. The many life changes related to divorce can play a part in these difficult circumstances. And when you’re a parent at the same time … well, you know how it feels! Just know, as well, that you’re not alone. Parenting is tough for everyone, even under the best of circumstances. Parenting through and beyond divorce takes enormous focus and a continuous need for compassion, both for yourself and

Child-Centered Divorce

1 Comment

Divorce With Children: Communicate Well For a Better Outcome!

By Rosalind Sedacca During and after divorce your children may be hyper-sensitive about many things. What may have formerly been routine conversations, questions or activities can now be touchy subjects fraught with anxiety, resentment or anger. This is understandable when you consider that the stability of the world they knew has been dramatically altered. Minor insecurities can easily grow into major problems. Children may regress in their behaviors and skills, become more clinging - or more aloof - depending on their adaptability and perspective about the divorce. This is a time to master the art of good parent/child communication so you can reinforce or rebuild trust, security and confidence that things will be okay again - despite the changes created by your divorce. Here are some solid tips for more effective communication with your children. Master them today and they will work on your behalf for years and years ahead. Keep your conversations private -

Child-Centered Divorce, Parenting After Divorce

Divorce Litigation: Can Parents Afford the REAL Price?

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT You’re getting divorced and you’re angry, resentful, hurt, vindictive or any combination of other painful emotions. You want to lash out, to get back at your spouse or boost your own sense of esteem. Hiring the most aggressive litigious divorce lawyer you can find seems like your smartest choice. Your ex is in for a fight! If you’re a parent who is thinking along those lines, you’re making a choice you may long regret – at a price you can little afford! If you choose a lawyer who directs you straight into a vicious court battle, the costs to you will be insurmountable – not only in financial outlay, but in emotional turmoil as well. Think long and hard before you move your divorce battle into the legal system. It is likely to take its toll on every member of your family – including your children

Child-Centered Divorce

2 Comments

Back to School After Divorce: Helping Yo...

Should I Stay In a Toxic Marriage For th...

When Children of Divorce Act Out – Carin

Creating a Child-Centered Divorce: A Wak...

Should You Divorce or Stay? Parents Must...

Do You Have an Anger Or Conflict Control...

Color Through Divorce: A Therapeutic Col...

Parenting Yourself Through Divorce To Be...

Divorce With Children: Communicate Well ...

Divorce Litigation: Can Parents Afford t...

Blog Posts by Date (Archives)

Categories