The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce! - Divorce and Co-Parenting - Parenting Children of Divorce - Dating as a Divorced Parent
Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC
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National Child-Centered Divorce Month celebrated with free ebooks, coaching, teleclasses & more through July July is National Child-Centered Divorce Month, dedicated to helping parents make the best possible decisions regarding their children's well-being during and after separation or divorce. Divorce attorneys, mediators, therapists, financial planners, coaches, educators, clergy and other professionals concerned about the effects of divorce on children will be sharing their advice and insights on the topic throughout July. Their goal is to educate parents about the choices they do have before moving into divorce to prevent negative consequences for children of all ages. During July parents are encouraged to visit a special web page at which they can download a variety of free ebooks, audio presentations, services and other gifts from divorce professionals throughout North America. They can also access a series of free teleclasses presented by "child-centered" divorce experts providing sound advice on divorce and parenting
Is it divorce or parental discord that most damages children? Answers are finally coming in! A recent article by marriage and family therapist Ruth Bettelheim has much to say on this topic that is both relevant and, quite surprising for many. That’s because she refutes common misconceptions about divorce and addresses the real issues of concern. According to Bettelheim, “Studies conducted in the past 20 years have shown that on all meaningful measures of success -- social, economic, intellectual and psychological -- most adult children from divorced families are no worse off than their peers whose parents remained married.” Researchers have found two explanations for this, notes Bettelheim. “Children who have to cope with their parents’ separation and post-divorce lives often grow resilient, self-reliant, adaptable and independent. And children benefit from escaping the high-conflict environment of a rocky marriage. After their parents’ separation, as conflicts fade, children recover.” There is
Want the latest feedback and perspectives from founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, Rosalind Sedacca, CCT? Sedacca, the author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love! is now a regular contributor to the popular blog, Basil & Spice. Every week Rosalind provides her insights on divorce and parenting issues – many posts based on current news headlines generating buzz around the world. She also provides advice, useful suggestions and valuable information related to divorce legislation, effective co-parenting, communication skills and the effects of divorce on children. Her columns can be found under Love and Relationship at //www.basilandspice.com/love-and-relationships/. Basil & Spice (//www.basilandspice.com) features blog posts on a broad spectrum of subjects of popular interest, including health, fitness, finances, weight loss, environmental issues and mind/body balance. Founder Kelly Jad’on says, “The world is rapidly changing and it is my
Many caring parents I speak to admit to feeling tremendous guilt during and after their divorce. It’s easy to understand why. Parents who are aware of the emotional toll a separation or divorce can take on their children feel torn about whether they made the right decision. Are they being selfish in moving ahead with the divorce? Will this experience psychologically scar their children for life? Will the kids ever forgive them – or their other parent – for initiating the divorce? Are they making the right decisions regarding co-parenting, visitation, communication and discussing all related issues with the kids? These are valid questions to ask yourself. The answers should be seriously considered before making any move in the direction of divorce. However, divorce is never a black and white issue. Changing the form of a family unit doesn’t necessarily mean destroying the family or the love between parents and
We all know that divorce is one of the most traumatic events that can happen in a child’s life. Many people have written books on the subject to guide parents through the maze of challenges that are inevitable at this time. However, it is much more difficult communicating with children directly about divorce. There are a few books on the market written especially for children. None of them are one size fits all. So parents must read through each one to determine which book speaks most clearly to their own family situation. The age and gender of the children, relationship between the divorced parents, custodial agreements and other factors all influence how effective any one children’s book will be for any family. One book written with great sincerity and compassion is Where Am I Sleeping Tonight? A Story of Divorce by Carol Gordon Ekster with Illustrations by Sue Rama. I
Divorce doesn’t end your co-parenting relationship with your former spouse. It only changes the form. It is still essential to create a working relationship focused on the optimum care and concern for your children. Every co-parenting relationship will be unique, affected by your post-divorce family dynamics. However, there are guidelines that will enhance the results for children in any family. Here are some crucial points to keep in mind to maximize your co-parenting success. Respect your co-parent’s boundaries: Chances are your former spouse has a different parenting style than you, with some conflicting rules. Rather than stress yourself about these differences, learn to accept that life is never consistent and it may actually be beneficial for your kids to experience other ways of doing things. Step back from micro-managing your co-parent’s life. If the kids aren’t in harm’s way, let go and focus on only the most serious issues before
The time of year you divorce can play a major role in how your children are affected. Many families experience separation or divorce as summer approaches so they can take advantage of the school break to make post-divorce transitions. There are many other families, however, that make the break in the midst of the school year. There are several reasons why this sometimes becomes a necessity. Many couples considering splitting decide to wait until after the holidays to break the news to their children. Others wait to take advantage of year-end job bonuses so they’ll have the extra funds to cover attorney, moving and other related expenses. Still others are faced with unexpected circumstances which accelerate the decision to divorce. Regardless, it’s not the why that should be concerning us at this time – it’s the how. How are these parents going to approach their separation or divorce – and
Whether Tiger Woods gets a divorce or not, his family is experiencing the emotional turmoil resulting from any parental breakup. Celebrity or not, everyone in the family is affected by a separation or rift between parents. Often Mom and Dad are so caught up in their own battles they tend to overlook the effects on the children, especially when those children are very young. However, kids come with powerful emotional radar. Even when they can’t speak they pick up on tension and absorb the discord in their environment. At times like these, it’s essential to watch your children closely. Look for unusual or different behaviors. Listen to their questions and comments carefully. Be there to answer their questions as honestly as you can in an age-appropriate way. Communication with our children is always important, but never as essential as when they are touched by separation or divorce. Children are vulnerable
Parenting plans are becoming more and more recognized as the way for both parents to coordinate their parenting, their lives and their relationship with their children after divorce. In its simplest form a parenting plan puts in writing the agreed upon schedule both parents have created regarding most all parenting arrangements. It outlines the days, times and other details of when, where and how each parent will be with the children along with other agreements both parents will follow in the months and years to come. The purpose of the plans is to determine strategies that are in the children’s best interest to create smooth, easy and positive transitions. These plans encourage cooperative co-parenting so that the children feel secure, loved, wanted and nurtured by both of their parents. Plans can vary in depth and scope. Often they include guidelines for routine residential arrangements as well as special occasions, including
Don and Betty Draper are getting a divorce – and parents around the globe are watching in dismay. While the stars of Mad Men are just characters in a popular TV drama, the way these two very self-absorbed parents broke the news to their children was heart-breaking and eye-opening at the same time. Not surprisingly, most viewers picked up on how poorly this major life challenge was handled by both Don and Betty. Looking over their shoulders we can gasp at their insensitivity to the plight of their children, grimace at their poor communication skills and wonder what they were thinking as they sat together as a family in the formal living room. When the situation comes home and touches our own lives, however, it appears our perspective gets fuzzy and we easily lose our awareness about how dramatically the children are being affected. Fortunately there is much we can
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