How To Cope With Parental Guilt After Di...

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Many caring parents I speak to admit to feeling tremendous guilt during and after their divorce. It's easy to understand why. Parents who are aware of the emotional toll a separation or divorce can take on their children feel torn about whether they made the right decision. Are they being selfish in moving ahead with the divorce? Will this experience psychologically scar their children for life? Will the kids ever forgive them - or their other parent - for initiating the divorce? Are they making the right decisions regarding co-parenting, visitation, communication and discussing all related issues with the kids? These are valid questions to ask yourself. The answers should be seriously considered before making any move in the direction of divorce. However, divorce is never a black and white issue. Changing the form of a family unit doesn't necessarily mean destroying the family. Or the

Child-Centered Divorce

Smart Parenting Plans Reflect Smart Co-Parenting After Your Divorce

parenting after divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Parenting plans are a commonly used tool for managing co-parenting post-divorce. It helps both parents coordinate their parenting, their lives and their relationship with one another following divorce. In its simplest form a parenting plan puts in writing the agreed upon schedule both parents have created regarding most all parenting arrangements. It outlines the days, times and other details of when, where and how each parent will be with the children. It also addresses other agreements both parents will follow in the months and years to come. The purpose of the plans is to determine strategies that are in the children’s best interest to create smooth, easy and positive transitions. These plans encourage cooperative co-parenting so that the children feel secure, loved, wanted and nurtured by both of their parents. Plans can vary in depth and scope. Often, they include

Child-Centered Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Over the years there have been endless studies on the effects of divorce on parents and children. Some of the results are controversial. Others seem to be universally accepted as relevant and real. Here are a few of my perceptions from studies on children who experience divorce that I believe all of us, as parents, should take to heart. Use your post-divorce time ahead wisely Not surprisingly, the first two years of divorce are the most difficult. In some cases it takes an average of three to five years to really "work through" and resolve many of the issues and emotions that come to the surface. For some, the effects of divorce last many additional years -- or even a lifetime -- if not dealt with appropriately. Taking steps toward acceptance, responsibility and preparing for happier times ahead give your life new meaning. It can also

Child-Centered Divorce

Disciplining Children Through Divorce By Limiting Their Behavior — Not Thoughts

By Rosalind Sedacca CDC Discipline is always a challenge for parents. Regardless of their age, your child may inevitably find ways to act out, challenge your authority and test the limits of their boundaries. Often these behaviors create tension and disagreements between both parents, which children are good at exploiting to their advantage. This, of course, is the time for Mom and Dad to forge a solid bond of agreement regarding their approach to discipline. If they do, the child is less likely to test the waters and more likely to alter their behavior into more appropriate channels. When separation or divorce takes place, disciplining children can become even more difficult, especially if both parents are not on good terms regarding parenting their children. Parental discord can open the door for children to move into behavioral extremes, pitting you and your former spouse against each other. We've all seen the

Child-Centered Divorce

5 Tips To Help Children Transition Between Homes After Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Parenting plans and contact schedules are an important part of divorce proceedings. They help create a semblance of routine in this new chapter of family life for divorcing parents. I am a strong believer in co-parenting whenever possible to serve the best interest of your children. But not all couples can work together with civility and harmony. So sometimes parallel parenting becomes the plan, meaning you both parent the children but with minimum communication between one another. Keep in mind that your kids pick up on the emotional energy around their parents and life after divorce is smoother and easier for them when their parents behave maturely and responsibly. However you work out your shared parenting plan, it’s the day-to-day challenges of post-divorce life that puts all co-parents to the test. Here are 5 important ways to ease the transitioning between homes process for everyone

Child-Centered Divorce

Children Are Psychologically Damaged When Parents Fight

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC For years I’ve been pointing out to parents one clear message. Fighting around the children does more damage to them than their parents’ divorce. Serious emotional harm to the kids is avoided when parents handle divorce amicably. And when they put their children’s psychological needs top of mind when making all decisions. Many studies over several decades confirm this perspective. They show how and why children exposed to constant parental bickering are more likely to be depressed. They are also more prone to expressing other “problem behaviors,” including substance abuse, aggression and poor school grades. Not surprisingly these studies have revealed significant challenges for parents who are dealing with "money-related chronic stress." For those parents, relationships with their children were highly tense and lacking in intimacy. Add the stress related to divorce and the outcome for children exposed to this tension increases exponentially. When interviewed about

Child-Centered Divorce

5 Keys To Creating A Better Life After Your Divorce!

parenting after divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Accepting the reality and finality of divorce can be a tough challenge. We need to be able to let go of the life we knew and prepare to face an unknown future. That can be intimidating. Here are 5 key steps to accepting your new reality with grace, peace and positive expectations for a happier life ahead. Especially if you’re also a parent! 1) Focus on yourself -- not on your former spouse We can’t ever undo the past. But the past can undo us -- if we’re not careful about our thoughts, beliefs and actions. The only one we can ever change is ourselves. Don’t waste valuable time pining about the past, blaming your ex or wishing you had done something differently. Focus instead on how you can transform yourself today into the person you most want to

Child-Centered Divorce

Rosalind Sedacca, CDC As The Voice of Child-Centered Divorce, my mission is to support parents and collaborate with divorce professionals in making the best decisions regarding the emotional and psychological effects of divorce on children. I’m a divorced parent as well as a Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach. I’ve experienced all the insecurities, anger, fears and anxieties that come with divorce. Like you, my primary concern was minimizing any negative effects on my child — not only in the months ahead, but in the decades to follow, too. I learned a lot about mistakes to avoid, smart steps to take and skills to learn — which I want to share with you – all on behalf of the children you love! So you can make the best decisions every step of the way. Parents: Divorce Doesn't Have To Emotionally Scar Your Children I believe that it is not

Child-Centered Divorce

Child-Centered Custody Means Putting Down the Boxing Gloves!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Over the past few years there has been a strong movement towards 50/50 post-divorce parenting arrangements. It’s often referred to as shared parenting. In many regards this approach to co-parenting may be the best custodial situation for most children of divorcing parents. I am a strong advocate of shared parenting. It worked very successfully in my own divorce. However, I do not believe it's the right or only answer for everyone. That’s because every situation is different when it comes to divorce. I don't believe legislation should be determining uniform custody outcomes for every family. These are issues that caring, conscious parents should be deciding together with only one goal in mind - the very best interest of their children. Unfortunately, too many parents approach this issue as adversaries. When child custody becomes a battle, everyone loses. Parents are pitted against each other and innocent children

Child-Centered Divorce

FREE GIFTS & SUPPORT RESOURCES -- from divorce and parenting experts around the world commemorating the 16th Annual International Child-Centered Divorce Month In the U.S. today nearly 4 out of 10 first marriages end in divorce. Even more significant, 60% of divorcing couples have children, resulting in more than one million kids each year experiencing the divorce of their parents. The consequence of parental divorce takes its toll on everyone in the family. An estimated 25 million children (36%) live apart from their biological father with about 26% of absentee fathers living in a different state than their kids. Close to 17 million children (25%) are living with their single mothers. It may come as no surprise that more divorces are initiated in January than in any other month. A large majority of parents wait until after the holiday season before breaking the divorce news to their children. For this

Child-Centered Divorce

How To Cope With Parental Guilt After Di...

Smart Parenting Plans Reflect Smart Co-P...

Child-Centered Divorce: Lessons Parents ...

Disciplining Children Through Divorce By...

5 Tips To Help Children Transition Betwe...

Children Are Psychologically Damaged Whe...

5 Keys To Creating A Better Life After Y...

An Encouraging Message to Parents from T...

Child-Centered Custody Means Putting Dow...

Divorcing or Divorced Parents: Why Janua...

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