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Child Centered Divorce

The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent

Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC


Parental Discord – Not Divorce – Most Da

Parental Discord – Not Divorce – Most Damages Children!
Is it divorce or parental discord that most damages children? Answers are finally coming in! A recent article by marriage and family therapist Ruth Bettelheim has much to say on this topic that is both relevant and, quite surprising for many. That’s because she refutes common misconceptions about divorce and addresses the real issues of concern. According to Bettelheim, “Studies conducted in the past 20 years have shown that on all meaningful measures of success -- social, economic, intellectual and psychological -- most adult children from divorced families are no worse off than their peers whose parents remained married.” Researchers have found two explanations for this, notes Bettelheim. “Children who have to cope with their parents’ separation and post-divorce lives often grow resilient, self-reliant, adaptable and independent. And children benefit from escaping the high-conflict environment of a rocky marriage. After their parents’ separation, as conflicts fade, children recover.” There is

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The Opportunity of Valentines Day — even

The Opportunity of Valentines Day — even for the divorced!
The Opportunity of Valentine’s Day With Valentine’s Day a big part of this month, I’m sharing with you commentary written by my friend Lisheyna S. Hurvitz M.A. Ed., a licensed mental health counselor in private practice in Boca Raton, FL. Every February we get reminded that Valentine’s Day is close by which means love is “in the air” -- or is it? People start going through their mental lists of who they love, who loves them and will they or won’t they have a special Valentine this year. This day can especially wreck havoc with those that have recently separated, divorced, widowed or split up from their significant other. Many get depressed and feel left out of the loving holiday spirit if they are single. The truth is that love is in the air. You do have someone you love in your heart. It could be a mother, brother, child,

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Raising Healthy, Well-Adjusted Children ...

Raising Healthy, Well-Adjusted Children — Despite Divorce
Amy Sherman, LMHC is one of the contributors to Rosalind Sedacca's new book, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children -- with Love! Here she shares some of her wisdom based on her private practice and years of working with pre-teen and teen populations. Parenting is a continual learning process, which is compounded when you are going through a divorce. Not only does it require an understanding of the child’s needs and the skills to meet those needs, but it requires additional special attention. Talking to your children about the divorce could be one of the most difficult experiences of parenting, because you want, of course, your wisdom to be heard and then your child to apply it. From my work with divorced parents and their children, I have gained much insight into what we, as adults, need to do to

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Magical Thinking: When Children of Divor...

Magical Thinking: When Children of Divorce Blame Themselves
By Paul Wanio, PhD, LMFT For children, there is a fine line between fantasy and reality. Their imaginations are very powerful and they may see unreal monsters that live in closets or under beds which inspire real fears. They will also believe that their thoughts can cause real events to happen "magically." For example, if a child is angry at one of his/her parents and that parent is hurt or has an accident, the child may feel secretly guilty and responsible for "causing" the accident (or divorce) because of having "bad" thoughts, "ill feelings" or "nasty wishes" about Mommy or Daddy. In believing that a person can cause things to happen just by thinking or wishing it, "magical thinking" serves a special purpose for the child. It helps the child to feel a sense of power and control over life. ("If I can make bad things happen, I can also

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Children’s Emotional Needs During Divorc

Children’s Emotional Needs During Divorce and Beyond
When parents are caught up in the drama of divorce it is easy for them to forget the innate emotional and security needs of their innocent children. The following are a list of questions and comments that remind parents about the most fundamental needs of every child in order to experience psychological well-being. They are provided by Dr. Paul Wanio, one of the contributors to my new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? These concepts are particularly significant for your consideration when your family is experiencing the challenges and upheavals connected to divorce or separation. With this in mind, Dr. Wanio suggests you not only consider these questions, but actually take the time to answer them for yourself. 1) How can I help my child to develop a sense of security and trust in him/herself, in people, in the world, and in getting his/her needs met?

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Divorce Alert: Tuning In To Your Child’s

Divorce Alert: Tuning In To Your Child’s Feelings
July is Child-Centered Divorce Month Join us in celebrating Child-Centered Divorce Month this July. This is a time for parents, therapists, attorneys, educators, clergy and other professionals to focus on the importance of putting children's needs first and foremost when divorce or separation is pending. Most of the negative consequences of divorce result from one or both parents making choices that are not in the best interest of their children. Frequently, parents are so caught up in their own emotional drama -- in anger, resentment, frustration and sometimes outright hatred of their former spouse -- that they make decisions based on ...