Amy Sherman, LMHC is one of the contributors to Rosalind Sedacca's new book, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children -- with Love! Here she shares some of her wisdom based on her private practice and years of working with pre-teen and teen populations. Parenting is a continual learning process, which is compounded when you are going through a divorce. Not only does it require an understanding of the child’s needs and the skills to meet those needs, but it requires additional special attention. Talking to your children about the divorce could be one of the most difficult experiences of parenting, because you want, of course, your wisdom to be heard and then your child to apply it. From my work with divorced parents and their children, I have gained much insight into what we, as adults, need to do to

Read More

By Paul Wanio, PhD, LMFT For children, there is a fine line between fantasy and reality. Their imaginations are very powerful and they may see unreal monsters that live in closets or under beds which inspire real fears. They will also believe that their thoughts can cause real events to happen "magically." For example, if a child is angry at one of his/her parents and that parent is hurt or has an accident, the child may feel secretly guilty and responsible for "causing" the accident (or divorce) because of having "bad" thoughts, "ill feelings" or "nasty wishes" about Mommy or Daddy. In believing that a person can cause things to happen just by thinking or wishing it, "magical thinking" serves a special purpose for the child. It helps the child to feel a sense of power and control over life. ("If I can make bad things happen, I can also

Read More

When parents are caught up in the drama of divorce it is easy for them to forget the innate emotional and security needs of their innocent children. The following are a list of questions and comments that remind parents about the most fundamental needs of every child in order to experience psychological well-being. They are provided by Dr. Paul Wanio, one of the contributors to my new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? These concepts are particularly significant for your consideration when your family is experiencing the challenges and upheavals connected to divorce or separation. With this in mind, Dr. Wanio suggests you not only consider these questions, but actually take the time to answer them for yourself. 1) How can I help my child to develop a sense of security and trust in him/herself, in people, in the world, and in getting his/her needs met?

Read More