When you think about it, there’s little surprise that the number of couples filing for divorce rises dramatically every January. And this year, despite the sluggish economy, is no different. Many couples who’ve made the decision to split intentionally wait until after the holidays to break the news to their children. Others hold off in anticipation of year-end job bonuses to help cover attorney, moving and other related expenses. This surge in divorces translates into a large number of children who are suddenly facing the reality that their family life will be dramatically changing. And regardless of why the separation came about, the big question that needs to be addressed is: How are these parents going to approach their divorce – and how will it affect their innocent children? Winter separations can be especially difficult for children coming as it does in the middle of the school year. Parents need
National Child-Centered Divorce Month celebrated with free ebooks, coaching, teleclasses & more through July July is National Child-Centered Divorce Month, dedicated to helping parents make the best possible decisions regarding their children's well-being during and after separation or divorce. Divorce attorneys, mediators, therapists, financial planners, coaches, educators, clergy and other professionals concerned about the effects of divorce on children will be sharing their advice and insights on the topic throughout July. Their goal is to educate parents about the choices they do have before moving into divorce to prevent negative consequences for children of all ages. During July parents are encouraged to visit a special web page at which they can download a variety of free ebooks, audio presentations, services and other gifts from divorce professionals throughout North America. They can also access a series of free teleclasses presented by "child-centered" divorce experts providing sound advice on divorce and parenting
Is it divorce or parental discord that most damages children? Answers are finally coming in! A recent article by marriage and family therapist Ruth Bettelheim has much to say on this topic that is both relevant and, quite surprising for many. That’s because she refutes common misconceptions about divorce and addresses the real issues of concern. According to Bettelheim, “Studies conducted in the past 20 years have shown that on all meaningful measures of success -- social, economic, intellectual and psychological -- most adult children from divorced families are no worse off than their peers whose parents remained married.” Researchers have found two explanations for this, notes Bettelheim. “Children who have to cope with their parents’ separation and post-divorce lives often grow resilient, self-reliant, adaptable and independent. And children benefit from escaping the high-conflict environment of a rocky marriage. After their parents’ separation, as conflicts fade, children recover.” There is
Want the latest feedback and perspectives from founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, Rosalind Sedacca, CCT? Sedacca, the author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love! is now a regular contributor to the popular blog, Basil & Spice. Every week Rosalind provides her insights on divorce and parenting issues – many posts based on current news headlines generating buzz around the world. She also provides advice, useful suggestions and valuable information related to divorce legislation, effective co-parenting, communication skills and the effects of divorce on children. Her columns can be found under Love and Relationship at //www.basilandspice.com/love-and-relationships/. Basil & Spice (//www.basilandspice.com) features blog posts on a broad spectrum of subjects of popular interest, including health, fitness, finances, weight loss, environmental issues and mind/body balance. Founder Kelly Jad’on says, “The world is rapidly changing and it is my
Statistics bear it out. Every January the number of couples filing for divorce rises dramatically. And despite the economy, this year the numbers are still there. When you think about it, the reason comes as no surprise. Many couples considering splitting decide to wait until after the holidays to break the news to their children. Others wait to take advantage of year-end job bonuses, if they come, so they’ll have the extra funds to cover attorney, moving and other related expenses. Regardless, it’s not the why that should be concerning us at this time – it’s the how. How are these couples, if they are parents, going to approach their separation or divorce – and how will it affect their innocent children? I, too, planned my separation at this time of year more than a decade ago. My son was eleven at the time. We told him a couple of
Whether Tiger Woods gets a divorce or not, his family is experiencing the emotional turmoil resulting from any parental breakup. Celebrity or not, everyone in the family is affected by a separation or rift between parents. Often Mom and Dad are so caught up in their own battles they tend to overlook the effects on the children, especially when those children are very young. However, kids come with powerful emotional radar. Even when they can’t speak they pick up on tension and absorb the discord in their environment. At times like these, it’s essential to watch your children closely. Look for unusual or different behaviors. Listen to their questions and comments carefully. Be there to answer their questions as honestly as you can in an age-appropriate way. Communication with our children is always important, but never as essential as when they are touched by separation or divorce. Children are vulnerable
Is our down-turned economy having an effect on divorce in the United States and other nations around the world? While it’s too early for statistical evidence, reports from marriage counselors and divorce attorneys around the globe are in agreement. They’re finding many couples who were ready to call it quits are postponing the divorce decision due to financial reasons. In the U.S., with housing values at near-record lows, wide-ranging cuts in salaries and a dramatic rise in unemployment rates, many couples are just not divorcing because they are afraid they can’t afford it. Does this mean couples are finding new ways to get along and reconsider their marriages? In some cases, yes, but for many it just means adapting to continued states of unhappiness and coping with disappointment and frustration. This, of course, does not bear well for the children of these unions. They experience the negative consequences of a
Only YOU have the Power to Minimize the Negative Impact of Divorce on Your Innocent Children! Do you want your children, when they’re grown adults, to thank you for the way you handled your divorce? Or will you let them be victimized by mistakes that create anxiety, anger, guilt and resentment in your kids because you just didn’t know better? Dear Parent: Are you worried about the well-being of your child(ren) following your divorce? Are there tensions with your co-parent that frighten you or drive you crazy? Are you feeling insecure about how your kids are handling life post-divorce? Do you want support in making co-parenting decisions that are best for your kids? I don’t have to tell you how complex and frustrating the divorce process can be. And when you add innocent children to the mix, you know the consequences! As a parent you have to be extremely
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, was announced the first place inner of the 2008 Victorious Woman Award. The international competition was created by Annmarie Kelly, author of Victorious Woman! Shaping Life’s Challenges into Personal Victories. A panel of judges made the winning selections. Sedacca is recognized as The Voice of Child-Centered Divorce and is the author of the new book, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children -- with Love! Her winning essay was taken from the first chapter of her book in which she shares her personal story about the trauma of telling her eleven year old son that she was divorcing his father. Sedacca came up with an innovative approach that more than a decade later she turned into an interactive ebook. What makes the book unique is that she doesn’t just tell parents what to say. She says it for
I'm buzzing with excitement to share with you that I recently returned from my son's wedding. Every detail was so wonderful and beautiful and I am filled with a knowing that happy endings are indeed possible for children of divorce. My message today is to remind you that the challenges we face as we parent after divorce can reap long-term rewards. At the wedding I experienced that on a very deep personal level. It made every frustration, every disappointment, every time I compromised, forgave or settled on a parenting issue with my ex all worth the effort. At the wedding both my ex and I were there with our spouses and considerable extended family on both sides. Some of these people I've seen over the years at celebrations and graduations, always on good terms. Others I haven't seen for close to fifteen years. The genuine warmth we shared was inspiring
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