Parenting After Divorce Archives - Page 15 of 22

Divorced Parents’ Dilemma: Privacy vs. S

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT What do you recommend when the other parent tells your children not to tell you what goes on in their house? Great question! You’re not alone in asking about this and it’s not an easy one to answer. After divorce most parents want to keep their private lives private and don’t want the children sharing too many details about their visit time. Asking children to “spy” on their other parent puts the kids in an awkward situation. They feel guilty, pressured and confused, especially if Mom or Dad tells them not to share specific information. This delicate subject needs to be addressed between both parents and agreed upon in advance. Children should be able to share something about activities or other innocent details regarding their time with their other parent. Asking not to say anything is unfair to the children who naturally want to talk about

Parenting After Divorce

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Divorced Parents: Made Mistakes You Regret? It’s Not Too Late To Make It Right!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Divorce drives some people crazy. Because of that, they make many poor decisions. Their judgment, integrity and credibility are easy to question. Their decisions regarding taking responsibility for their children come under scrutiny. There is much we can all learn from these mistakes. And wisdom we can take away that is important for all of us to remember: It’s never too late to get it right – when your children are at stake! In the heat of the divorce drama, we may have settled for a decision or two that we later regretted and still feel resentful. Or we made a child-related agreement that, in hindsight, was not in our child’s best interest – but we don’t know quite how to remedy the situation. Perhaps we lost our tempers at an inappropriate time and watched our children painfully internalize the experience. Maybe we referred to our

Parenting After Divorce

Divorced Parents: Don’t Take Advice from Family and Friends

Divorced Parents: Don’t Take Advice from Family & Friends Be gracious about accepting advice – then do what is congruent for you! By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Divorce is a subject that, by its very nature, brings up lots of judgments. Most people seem to have strong opinions about divorce, primarily influenced by their own experiences or the programming of their upbringing. It’s very unlikely that any one argument will change the mind of someone who feels in direct opposition about the subject. This is important to keep this in mind when you find yourself going through the trials of separation or divorce. Your family and friends all mean well. They want to support and help you through any crisis. But be aware that along with their support they bring with them the baggage of opinions and judgments that inevitably color their advice. If you allow yourself to be influenced by

Parenting After Divorce

Helping You & Your Children Survive the Holidays After Your Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT One of the toughest transitions for children of divorce is coping with the first holiday season. As parents our challenge is to create new traditions and activities that can replace the memories of family holidays in the past. Here are some suggestions for helping your children keep the best spirits through the holiday season. Be Attentive and Compassionate Talk to your children about the holidays. Listen, and don’t lecture. Let them vent about their feelings, regrets and frustrations. Acknowledge what they are expressing to you and show compassionate understanding. Be aware that some children will hold their feelings in as a means to protect you. Reassure them that it’s okay to talk about their sadness as well as apprehension about what they will experience this year. Remind your children that what they are feeling is natural and normal. Be there for them with reassurance and hugs.

Parenting After Divorce

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What To Do When Your Ex Bad-Mouths You to Your Kids

By Sandra Beck Many of us in high-conflict parenting relationships find ourselves the butt of jokes, the victim of malicious half-true and down-right untrue gossip spread by our Ex or their partner, and being the topic of “heart-to-heart” conversations with your ex and your children filled with carefully crafted stories intended to alienate your children from you. Sometimes it works. Sometimes your kids come home and say things like, “Mom, is it true that when you were in your 20s you smoked pot? Dad said you did and he said his current wife never did that?” or they say, “Hey Mom, Dad says you lie in court. Dad says you lie to the police. Dad said you lie to his friends.” The hard thing is not reacting. You want to knock some sense into the thick-skulled Ex for not understanding his or her need to punish, retaliate, control or whatever

Parenting After Divorce

Divorced Parent to Parent Transfers: How to Minimize Stress for Your Child

For children of divorce moving between homes is stressful enough without the transfers themselves being upsetting. There are many ways in which parents can turn simple transfers into real nightmares. If your transfers are unnecessarily stressful following these tips for minimizing your child’s parent-to-parent transfer: General Tips Keep your child’s transfer as brief as possible even if your child attempts to delay by trying to engage you in an activity with them. Say “hello” and “goodbye” to the other parent even if they do not speak to you. Your child needs to see that you are reasonable and civil in spite of the other parent’s action. Simple salutations only should occur at transfers. This is not the time for discussions. If the other parent attempts to start a discussion just say, “I’d like to speak with you regarding that but now isn’t the time. Give me a call or email

Parenting After Divorce

Children of Divorce: Protecting Their Well-Being & Minimizing Emotional Effects

For many families, divorce is a part of life. And while every case is different, divorce is never easy. From estranged couples and their children, to in-laws, family members and loved ones, the dissolution of a marriage can have a profound effect on entire families and social circles. And, unfortunately, many divorcing couples become so ensnared in the details of their cases, they forget to focus on the well-being of their children, loved ones, and even themselves. Thankfully, though, there are ways to minimize the emotional and psychological impact of divorce. Keep reading for tips on reducing conflict and simplifying the process of divorce, as well as protecting children along the way. Honesty is (Usually) the Best Policy When it comes to the gritty details of divorce, some things are best kept between the couple in question; however, children should always be included in family conversations about separation and divorce. For

Parenting After Divorce

Parental Conflict Alienates/Hurts/Changes Children of Divorce Long Term

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT In a newsletter from Dr. Mark Goulston I read that: “A majority of teenagers, when asked if they had the choice between their parents being nicer to them or more loving towards each other, will pick the latter. The animosity between parents is very painful to their children.” Stop and think about that for a moment. Teenagers would sacrifice receiving more love from their parents if they could assure their parents got along better with one another. This reinforces what most mental health professionals have long known: Parental conflict is a source of continual pain for our children – whether the parents are married or divorced! As a Divorce & Parenting Coach and Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network for parents, my goal is to make sure both parents fully understand the impact of parental discord upon your children. That’s why I ask every client: Do

Parenting After Divorce

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Divorced Parents’ Dilemma: Privacy vs. S

Divorced Parents: Made Mistakes You Regr...

Divorced Parents: Don’t Take Advice from

Helping You & Your Children Survive the

What To Do When Your Ex Bad-Mouths You t...

Divorced Parent to Parent Transfers: How...

Divorced Parents: Made Mistakes You Regr...

Children of Divorce: Protecting Their We...

Parental Conflict Alienates/Hurts/Change...

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