Rosalind Sedacca’s new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce?, is a “create-a-storybook” guide that helps parents prepare their children for a pending divorce or separation — with compassion and love. The fill-in-the-blanks templates and family album format simplifies one of the toughest conversations any parent will have.
Divorce may be tough on parents, but it’s often much tougher on their children. One of the most difficult conversations any parent will ever have is telling their kids about an upcoming divorce. Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, had that conversation more than a decade ago and used it as the basis for her new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook™ Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love!
While many books address the topic of children and divorce, none provide a customizable template that doesn’t just …
tell parents what they should say — it says it for them. Parents are guided in preparing an attractive personal family storybook, in a photo-album-type format, that children will want to read. The two age-based fill-in-the-blanks templates talk about the family’s past, present and future, reminding children that change, while often frightening, is a natural part of life. Using age-appropriate language, the text conveys the six key messages parents need to share — and children need to hear, understand and accept.
These vital messages are:
1. This is not your fault
2. Mom and Dad will always love you
3. Mom and Dad will always be your Mom and Dad
4. You are, and will continue to be, safe
5. This is about change, not about blame
6. Everything is going to be okay.
The guidebook also includes commentary and support from six professional therapists who endorse the collaborative divorce concept as well tools such as mediation. Their contribution is immeasurable in assisting families as they face the challenges ahead.
A professional speaker and Certified Corporate Trainer, Sedacca is frequently asked why parents should prepare a storybook — in advance — to help break the news about their separation or divorce. “For the same reason they prepare for vacations, parties and other life events,” she explains. “Planning simplifies the process, keeps you on track and helps avoid regrettable mistakes. Isn’t your pending divorce a subject worth that effort?”
Sedacca’s son, now grown and working in a veterinary hospital as a Cardiology Resident, wrote the Forward to the book, acknowledging the benefits of this unique concept.
“As a divorced parent, my continuing close relationship with my son has been the ultimate pay-off for any and all sacrifices,” says Sedacca. “When I heard my adult son say to me, ‘while the divorce was a tough time, you and Dad did a great job in minimizing the trauma and supporting my needs as I grew up,’ I knew I had to write this book. I need to remind parents that by putting aside their emotional drama when making all those child-related decisions, they can positively influence how their children are affected by separation or divorce. And that’s my ultimate goal.”
Sedacca says she has been receiving enthusiastic endorsements from therapists, mediators, divorce attorneys, educators and clergy throughout the U.S. who strongly advocate the principles of child-centered divorce and are recommending her fill-in-the-blanks guidebook to their clients.
Because it is customizable, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? is being marketed on the internet as a downloadable ebook at www.howdoitellthekids.com. Parents who order the ebook will also receive four bonuses including Sedacca’s new Therapeutic Insights Journal for recording communication notations in the months to come, two Special Reports from contributing family therapist, Dr. C. Paul Wanio, PhD, LMFT, and a complimentary 20-minute telephone coaching session with contributing family therapist, Amy Sherman, MA, LMHC.
Sedacca’s training programs specialize in communication and relationship issues at home and in the workplace. She has facilitated workshops and seminars on creating “conscious” relationships for both singles and couples for many years. Her background also includes more than twenty years of experience in marketing, advertising and public relations as an award-winning copywriter and consultant.
To learn more about How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook™ Guide to Preparing Your Children — with Love! go to //www.howdoitellthekids.com. To sign up for Sedacca’s free Child-Centered Divorce ezine, visit her at: //www.childcentereddivorce.com. She can also be reached at: [email protected] or 561 742-3537.
Just wanted to stop by from 1st Friday. Sounds like you market a great product for children–children need to understand about divorce and not blame themselves. I hope that you have a chance to visit my blog sometime at //prettyinpinkwomansministry.blogspot.com
This is a great concept!
I struggled for years to overcome my parents backwards and forwards slandering, this child and divorce book really looks like it deals with some important issues!
Here are some more good tips for minimizing the effect of divorce on kids: //www.life123.com/article_FullStory/Understanding-Divorce-and-Children_1205354071463.html
Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. 🙂 Cheers! Sandra. R.
Thanks, Sandra. Hope you’ll stop by often. Lots of great info to share.
It is truly a shame our society believes there can be such a thing as a child-centered divorce. EVERY research study shows children do better in households with two parents, yet we feign empathy for them by creating terms such as “child-centered” divorce. In most cases, it would be more appropriately named “self-centered” divorce and how to not look bad to your kids. We so readily accept divorce, especially “no-fault divorce,” when it is certainly NOT in the best interest of the children…but have the gall to then shout “best interest” to make sure the decision becomes someone else’s responsibility. I do not agree in trying to pretend there is a civil way to tell the children you are so selfish that their best interests only come into play after your self-serving decision is in effect. It is sad, and certainly not altruistic in its empathy. Justification and shift of responsibility for a decision regardless of the children is definitely more appropriate. Perhaps that should be the lead in for any couple with children seeking a no-fault divorce.
Sadly your self-righteous comments have no foundation in truth. All studies show that children do better in households with two parents who provide loving parenting.
Unfortunately, children in homes with distressed, abusive, self-indulgent, disfunctional parents do as poorly as those from divorced homes with the same kind of parents. It’s not divorce itself but the way parents handle divorce that wounds and scars children emotionally.
Check the studies and see for yourself. Our goal is to enlighten parents about responsible parenting that puts their children’s needs first.
Sometimes parents better serve their children by separating or divorcing to provide more peace in the home environment. We are not here to encourage divorce. We’re here to keep parents on the path of conscious parenting, despite their personal relationship errors or challenges.
The world is not as black and white as you’d like to see it. Why not strive to be a positive light in the world instead of a critical dark and damaging force?
Well, if parents were that interested in how their decisions affected others to begin with, perhaps you wouldn’t be looking at divorce. Please note, I only speak of the most highly used and glamorous “No-Fault” divorce in this. If there IS fault, the children’s best interest is probably served with one parent. However, no matter what the case, counting on both parents to work together is a bit of long shot. If they could, they would have. The parent filing for the divorce is usually the one trying to make sure their decisions affect THEMSELVES as little as possible, and are looking for justification for their decisions pretending it doesn’t affect their children. It is unfortunate that only after the judge’s gavel falls that society starts looking after the “best interest” of the child.
I look at it as telling people how to keep your child as safe as possible while you run into a brick wall with your vehicle. I would think a better use of time would be to help people avoid walls instead of pretending they can do it without consequence if they just buckle their child in.
This is not dark and damaging…it is actual reality and if more people opened their eyes and took SOME responsibility for the decision instead of acting like it was something inevitable, perhaps we could prevent the issue to begin with. THEIR decision to divorce is the control point. Everything after that is just giving pain meds and putting band-aids on the wounds they’ve caused. It doesn’t remove the scars, but they can tell the victims of their decisions they tried to make them as comfortable as possible while they did it. That should make everyone feel better.
Unfortunately, “No-fault” divorce is RARELY a positive light in a child’s world. And no amount of “Correct” communication will turn that around. The best we can hope for is less dim until we rewire society with spotlights on their decisions.
I can appreciate what you are trying to do and I thank you for the opportunity to express my views.