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Child Centered Divorce
The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent
Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC
Latino Children

Are You Holding Onto Grudges Post-Divorc...

Are You Holding Onto Grudges Post-Divorce?
                "The weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." Gandhi   Divorce can be a major stumbling block to our happiness and personal growth.  Holding grudges and resentments has been proven to be harmful to your physical health and emotional well-being.  Forgiveness is a productive way to move forward, detach from the past and let go of lingering hurts so you can experience a healthier, more promising future. It is not uncommon to resent the people closest to us. Often they have done us some harm such as violating our trust through a lie, betrayal, deceit or abuse.  However, resentment comes at a big cost to you! When you can't let go of hurt and anger, it builds into a resentment or grudge. That feeling can take hold of you, growing to envelop your whole life and all of

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Attentive Parent-Child Communication Cru...

Attentive Parent-Child Communication Crucial For Post-Divorce Success!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC It's no secret that one of the biggest challenges divorced parents face is staying in good communication with your children. Obviously, all parents struggle with communication issues as their children grow. But children whose lives are dramatically altered by separation or divorce need even more attention. And diligent observation by their parents. Here are some tips that most professionals agree on to encourage positive and productive communication between you and your children. Many of these are obvious or innate behaviors. Some, however, can easily be forgotten amid the challenges you are juggling daily in your own life. Be Attentive, Understanding and Empathic Take time to see the world through your children's eyes.  As a result, you will be better able to meet their needs and understand their confusion or aggression.  You'll likely also find appropriate ways to dissolve tension through your conversation and caring behaviors. ·  

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Keep Unconscious Unparenting From Scarri...

Keep Unconscious Unparenting From Scarring Your Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Too many divorces are being scarred by "Unconscious Unparenting!" -- leaving the children to pay the price! Why is the concept of Child-Centered, Amicable or Collaborative Divorce so threatening for some?  Perhaps because it suggests having to own the part we played in the dissolution of our marriage. Perhaps because it means we can't play the victim -- venting about the horrible person we married while craving sympathy from anyone who will listen. Maybe it's threatening because it means we have to take our children into account and step up to co-parenting maturely with the other parent that our kids also love. Avoiding the Win/Lose Battle No doubt, cooperative, conscious, mindful divorce isn't an easy path and unconscious un-parenting can have its appeal. The goal in our misguided legal system too often is simply  "winning" -- which comes at the expense of the other parent "losing."

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Clear Parent/Child Communication Essenti...

Clear Parent/Child Communication Essential After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Children tend not to tell you when they are angry, resentful, confused, hurt or depressed. Instead, they reflect their problems through their behavior - acting out or perhaps turning inward in ways that you have not experienced prior to the divorce. Check out these tips for seeing the world through your child's eyes and communicating effectively with them during and after divorce: 1. Asking why can be intimidating and close off your conversation. Instead, ask what happened questions, which keep the dialogue open. 2. Be patient. Don't react or respond until you get the full message. Sometimes it takes some meandering for your child to reach the crucial point of what they want to say. Don't shut them off too soon! 3.  Remember that preaching, moralizing or "parenting" comments can put up barriers to clear communication. Listening is your most valuable skill and tool. 4.  Watch

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Protecting Children Starts with Accounta...

Protecting Children Starts with Accountability: Co-Parenting Safeguards to Adapt for Child Abuse Prevention Month
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC April is Child Abuse Prevention Month, a time to think about protecting our children not only from overt harm. It’s equally important to focus on avoiding the emotional wounds that can stem from unchecked conflict between parents. Accountability, as well as consistency and respect, are safeguards that shape a child’s sense of security and well-being. Adapting these principles to co-parenting with a mindset rooted in protection and love can make all the difference in daily life for children of divorce. Keep the Focus Where It Belongs: On The Children When tensions rise, remind yourself: This is about the children, not the relationship that ended. Filter every decision through a simple question: “Will this help or hurt my child’s stability?” Avoid making parenting choices out of resentment or competition. Stay child-centered in your communication and planning rather than revisiting old grievances or wounds. Practice Accountability, Not Blame Accountability begins with

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Find the Gift in Your Divorce — Some Que

Find the Gift in Your Divorce — Some Questions To Ask Yourself!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When we are in the midst of life trauma it is very difficult to experience anything but the pain, disappointment, hurt and anguish related to that experience. That’s only natural. But very often, looking back in hindsight, we can find meaning, relevance, valuable lessons and insights that were the direct result of those major life challenges.  Without that life-altering event, we would not become the people we are today. I look upon that result as the gift I received from the experience and the wisdom gleaned. It became the turning point I needed to move on to a new chapter in my life. I look back and can say the lesson was tough, but I don’t regret it in the least. In fact, I am grateful. For me divorce can be looked upon as a gift and life lesson when I choose to look for the

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Telling Your Kids About Your Divorce? Av...

Telling Your Kids About Your Divorce? Avoid These Mistakes!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Getting psyched up to tell your children about your pending divorce -- or separation? Not sure what to say? When to say it? How to say it? What to expect after the conversation? What to do next? How to deal with your special circumstances? What therapists, mediators, attorneys and other professionals suggest you do and don't do to make things better all around? Well, you're not alone. Having the "divorce talk" with a child you love is one of the toughest conversations you'll ever have. Shouldn't you be prepared? Professionals all agree on some of the most common mistakes parents make when bringing up divorce or separation. These include:   asking children to bear the weight of making decisions or choosing sides  failing to remind children that none of this is in any way their fault  forgetting to emphasize that Mom and Dad will still always

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Divorced? Be What Your Children Want You...

Divorced? Be What Your Children Want You To Be!
By Rosalind Sedacca I came upon this quote from British blogger, David Bly: "Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be." That's the best advice anyone can give any parent, especially when faced with challenging times, such as your divorce. About 40% of our children will experience the divorce of their parents. The outcome is not the same for all families. That's why it's so important for parents to understand that every decision they make has consequences. And these consequences not only affect their children. They also impact their own well-being for years and decades to come! As a Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach, I've found that many parents are short-sighted when it comes to understanding the effects of divorce on their children. They don't understand how emotional wounds in childhood lead to behaviors in the teen years. And that decisions in adulthood are

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Child-Centered Divorce 20th Anniversary ...

Child-Centered Divorce 20th Anniversary Gifts!
Cooperative coparenting supports children YOURS FREE! MY BRAND-NEW VIDEO SERIES & OTHER RESOURCES TO HELP YOU PROTECT THE CHILDREN YOU LOVE! Compliments of Rosalind Sedacca, CDC and the Child-Centered Divorce Network!   To commemorate the Child-Centered Divorce Network's 20th Anniversary, I'm giving away valuable resources on all facets of divorcing, co-parenting and dating after divorce. NEW 6-PART VIDEO Series:  Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC ... Protecting Your Children During & Long After Divorce! 6 Episodes -- a $300 value -- your gift from Rosalind! 1: Putting Yourself in Your Child's Shoes to Understand What They Want You to Know! Discover what your children wish you knew about how your divorce is affecting them physically, emotionally and psychologically -- and what you can do about that NOW!  WATCH HERE 2: Preparing For The Dreaded Divorce Talk! It's one of the most difficult conversations you're likely to have.

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Proving An Unsafe Environment For Your C...

Proving An Unsafe Environment For Your Child When Alcohol Is Involved
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When alcohol use creates an unsafe environment for your child, it can be a deeply painful and confusing situation for everyone involved. This is specially challenging when you are divorcing an *alcoholic or co-parenting after a divorce. It’s important to recognize the warning signs of alcohol-related neglect or endangerment early on. Then you must understand how to document and present evidence in a calm, factual, and responsible way. Proving an unsafe environment for your child when alcohol is involved typically requires clear, credible evidence. The primary objective is showing that the child’s health, safety, or well-being is at risk due to a parent’s use of alcohol. This often plays out in custody disputes or Child Protective Services (CPS) investigations. It can also become a central point when parenting plan visitation details are being discussed. Key Elements or Types of Evidence The Courts or CPS May Look

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