Keep Unconscious Unparenting From Scarri...

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Too many divorces are being scarred by "Unconscious Unparenting!" -- leaving the children to pay the price! Why is the concept of Child-Centered, Amicable or Collaborative Divorce so threatening for some? Perhaps because it suggests having to own the part we played in the dissolution of our marriage. Perhaps because it means we can't play the victim -- venting about the horrible person we married while craving sympathy from anyone who will listen. Maybe it's threatening because it means we have to take our children into account and step up to co-parenting maturely with the other parent that our kids also love. Avoiding the Win/Lose Battle No doubt, cooperative, conscious, mindful divorce isn't an easy path and unconscious un-parenting can have its appeal. The goal in our misguided legal system too often is simply "winning" -- which comes at the expense of the other parent "losing."

Child-Centered Divorce

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Protecting Children Starts with Accountability: Co-Parenting Safeguards to Adapt for Child Abuse Prevention Month

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC April is Child Abuse Prevention Month, a time to think about protecting our children not only from overt harm. It’s equally important to focus on avoiding the emotional wounds that can stem from unchecked conflict between parents. Accountability, as well as consistency and respect, are safeguards that shape a child’s sense of security and well-being. Adapting these principles to co-parenting with a mindset rooted in protection and love can make all the difference in daily life for children of divorce. Keep the Focus Where It Belongs: On The Children When tensions rise, remind yourself: This is about the children, not the relationship that ended. Filter every decision through a simple question: “Will this help or hurt my child’s stability?” Avoid making parenting choices out of resentment or competition. Stay child-centered in your communication and planning rather than revisiting old grievances or wounds. Practice Accountability, Not Blame Accountability begins with

Parenting After Divorce

Find the Gift in Your Divorce — Some Questions To Ask Yourself!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When we are in the midst of life trauma it is very difficult to experience anything but the pain, disappointment, hurt and anguish related to that experience. That’s only natural. But very often, looking back in hindsight, we can find meaning, relevance, valuable lessons and insights that were the direct result of those major life challenges. Without that life-altering event, we would not become the people we are today. I look upon that result as the gift I received from the experience and the wisdom gleaned. It became the turning point I needed to move on to a new chapter in my life. I look back and can say the lesson was tough, but I don’t regret it in the least. In fact, I am grateful. For me divorce can be looked upon as a gift and life lesson when I choose to look for the

Child-Centered Divorce

Telling Your Kids About Your Divorce? Avoid These Mistakes!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Getting psyched up to tell your children about your pending divorce -- or separation? Not sure what to say? When to say it? How to say it? What to expect after the conversation? What to do next? How to deal with your special circumstances? What therapists, mediators, attorneys and other professionals suggest you do and don't do to make things better all around? Well, you're not alone. Having the "divorce talk" with a child you love is one of the toughest conversations you'll ever have. Shouldn't you be prepared? Professionals all agree on some of the most common mistakes parents make when bringing up divorce or separation. These include: asking children to bear the weight of making decisions or choosing sides failing to remind children that none of this is in any way their fault forgetting to emphasize that Mom and Dad will still always

How Do I Tell the Kids About The Divorce?

Divorced? Be What Your Children Want You To Be!

By Rosalind Sedacca I came upon this quote from British blogger, David Bly: "Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be." That's the best advice anyone can give any parent, especially when faced with challenging times, such as your divorce. About 40% of our children will experience the divorce of their parents. The outcome is not the same for all families. That's why it's so important for parents to understand that every decision they make has consequences. And these consequences not only affect their children. They also impact their own well-being for years and decades to come! As a Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach, I've found that many parents are short-sighted when it comes to understanding the effects of divorce on their children. They don't understand how emotional wounds in childhood lead to behaviors in the teen years. And that decisions in adulthood are

Parenting After Divorce

Cooperative coparenting supports children YOURS FREE! MY BRAND-NEW VIDEO SERIES & OTHER RESOURCES TO HELP YOU PROTECT THE CHILDREN YOU LOVE! Compliments of Rosalind Sedacca, CDC and the Child-Centered Divorce Network! To commemorate the Child-Centered Divorce Network's 20th Anniversary, I'm giving away valuable resources on all facets of divorcing, co-parenting and dating after divorce. NEW 6-PART VIDEO Series: Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC ... Protecting Your Children During & Long After Divorce! 6 Episodes -- a $300 value -- your gift from Rosalind! 1: Putting Yourself in Your Child's Shoes to Understand What They Want You to Know! Discover what your children wish you knew about how your divorce is affecting them physically, emotionally and psychologically -- and what you can do about that NOW! WATCH HERE 2: Preparing For The Dreaded Divorce Talk! It's one of the most difficult conversations you're likely to have.

Child-Centered Divorce

Proving An Unsafe Environment For Your Child When Alcohol Is Involved

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When alcohol use creates an unsafe environment for your child, it can be a deeply painful and confusing situation for everyone involved. This is specially challenging when you are divorcing an *alcoholic or co-parenting after a divorce. It’s important to recognize the warning signs of alcohol-related neglect or endangerment early on. Then you must understand how to document and present evidence in a calm, factual, and responsible way. Proving an unsafe environment for your child when alcohol is involved typically requires clear, credible evidence. The primary objective is showing that the child’s health, safety, or well-being is at risk due to a parent’s use of alcohol. This often plays out in custody disputes or Child Protective Services (CPS) investigations. It can also become a central point when parenting plan visitation details are being discussed. Key Elements or Types of Evidence The Courts or CPS May Look

Divorce Court

Blended Family Success Strategies For Parents & Kids

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC There are twenty million blended families in the United States alone. That number has doubled over the past ten years. Some project that blended families will become the norm, or at least a majority, within the next decade. Regardless of the statistics, blended families are a growing reality in our society. They also face challenges that can be overwhelming if not handled with great awareness and sensitivity for all concerned. Whether you're a step-parent, step-child or step-sibling, you face issues that other families do not encounter. Here are some suggestions for avoiding problems and tension within your family unit. · Don't expect to be the Brady Bunch right from the start. Allow your family members time to adjust to a new reality and new people sharing the same space. · Discuss family rules and rituals before you make the move into one home. Set agreements and

Parenting After Divorce

5 Tips to Help Children Cope With Divorce!

B Communication with your child is essential. Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce need not wound and scar your children if you put their emotional and psychological needs first when making crucial decisions. Some parents don’t understand that every decision they make regarding their divorce will affect the well-being of their children in countless ways. The emotional scars are not only harder to see, they’re also much harder to erase. Here are five keys to helping your children cope with and even thrive after divorce. Remind them this is not their fault. Children tend to blame themselves for divorce, no matter how bad Mom and Dad’s relationship has been. The younger the child, the more likely this is so. Sit down together and talk to your children, emphasizing that they are in no way at fault. You can say something like: “Mom and Dad don’t agree about certain

Child-Centered Divorce

Keep Unconscious Unparenting From Scarri...

Clear Parent/Child Communication Essenti...

Protecting Children Starts with Accounta...

Find the Gift in Your Divorce — Some Que

Telling Your Kids About Your Divorce? Av...

Divorced? Be What Your Children Want You...

Child-Centered Divorce 20th Anniversary ...

Proving An Unsafe Environment For Your C...

Blended Family Success Strategies For Pa...

5 Tips to Help Children Cope With Divorc...

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