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Child Centered Divorce
The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent
Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC
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6 Crucial Steps To Co-Parenting Success ...

6 Crucial Steps To Co-Parenting Success After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC While moving through divorce can seem like an insurmountable obstacle, for many parents it is just the beginning of a new and equally intimidating challenge:  co-parenting your children. Hats off to all of you who have chosen to remain in your children’s lives as co-parents. It means both of you care deeply about your children. And you both want to continue raising them in the least-disruptive possible manner. Of course, not all parents can share the co-parenting process in this way. For some couples it is not appropriate to even attempt it. But other couples are determined to co-parent and choose cooperative options. They want to live relatively close to one another so as not to disturb the school, sports and other related schedules of their children. They certainly deserve credit and acknowledgement. This is a complex topic that can’t be glossed over with a few

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Using Family Photos To Support And Prote...

Using Family Photos To Support And Protect Children of Divorce
Cooperative coparenting supports children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC  I read a poignant comment on a blog recently written by a married mother of three. She was a child of divorce whose father moved out of the home when she was four. She talks about having very few pictures of herself as a child and only one of her mother and father together. Her grandfather found and gave her the photo just a few years ago. She framed it and has proudly displayed it in her home for her own children to see. She explains how special that one photo of her with Mom and Dad is to her. It shows a little girl sitting happily on a lawn with her “real” family – before the divorce. This woman grieves that she has no other photographs of her father and so few pictures of her childhood. She

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5 Pitfalls to Avoid When Telling Kids Ab...

5 Pitfalls to Avoid When Telling Kids About Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Facing divorce and stymied about how to tell your kids? Wondering how it will affect them? Worried about hurting them with the news? When’s the best time to talk? What to say and not say? What they will say? Not sure just what to confide?  Well, you’re not alone. There’s no doubt this might be one of the most difficult conversations you’ll ever have. It’s a talk your children won’t want to have – and you must be prepared. Here are the five mistakes most commonly made by parents regarding the divorce talk. Be sure you don’t add stress to your children’s lives by making these errors. You'll find answers to the other questions on my blog at ChildCenteredDivorce.com.  1. Exposing your children to parental conflict or fighting. Studies show that this does more damage to children than any other factor in their lives – whether

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5 Smart Steps To Maximize Your Co-Parent...

5 Smart Steps To Maximize Your Co-Parenting Success!
Cooperative coparenting supports children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When you’re a parent, divorce doesn’t end your relationship with your former spouse. It only changes the form in some specific ways. It is still essential to create a working relationship focused on the optimum care and concern for your children. Every co-parenting relationship will be unique, affected by your post-divorce family dynamics. However, there are guidelines that will enhance the results for children in any family. Here are some crucial points to keep in mind to maximize your co-parenting success. 1)  Respect your co-parent’s boundaries: Chances are your former spouse has a different parenting style than you, with some conflicting rules. Rather than stress yourself about these differences, learn to accept reality. Life is never consistent and it may actually be beneficial for your kids to experience other ways of doing things. Step back from micro-managing your

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6 Ways To Boost Connection To Your Kids ...

6 Ways To Boost Connection To Your Kids After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce is often a time for disconnect. It’s not uncommon for you to feel alone, rejected and insecure in the months following your divorce. So can your children. It is important for you to strengthen your bond with your children during this time of transition – whether you are living with them or apart. Children want to know they are still loved, valued and cared about. Show them, tell them and keep in close communication with them. This is equally important during the happy times and the sad ones. They need to know they have a safe place to turn, a shoulder to cry on and a non-judgmental ear when they need it. This is true even if you are not physically together. If divorce has been tough on you – remember it’s even tougher on them – whether they confide that to you or not.

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Parents: Are You Damaging Your Kids When...

Parents: Are You Damaging Your Kids When You Fight?
Parents fight & kids suffer during divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC  For years, as Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, I’ve been telling parents one crucial point. Fighting around the children is more damaging to them than divorce. Part of having an amicable divorce is giving your children’s psychological needs top priority when making all decisions. In that way you can avoid doing serious emotional harm to the kids. Many studies over the years supports this point, including several in the Journal of Research on Adolescence. Whether the focus of these studies is on fighting over financial issues, time-sharing, child-care or other related topics, the consequences are basically the same. Exposure to parental conflict psychologically damages your kids! The overall consensus is clear. Children exposed to constant parental bickering are more likely to be depressed. They are also more prone to expressing other “problem behaviors,” including

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How To Keep Kids From Sabotaging Your Da...

How To Keep Kids From Sabotaging Your Dating After Divorce!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Dating after divorce can be challenging for many parents who have been out of the market for some time. But it’s even more challenging for your children. It’s only natural for them to be resistant to any new partner you bring into their lives. And sometimes they can be downright belligerent to keep you from dating post-divorce. No matter how much you love your kids, they can represent obstacles to your future love life. This is a reality whether your divorce was relatively painless or high conflict. As a parent you don’t want to create more emotional drama or trauma for your children. You want to protect them from unnecessary conflict and competition for your attention. When you introduce a new partner, especially one who may be a parental figure in the future, be prepared. It’s not surprising that kids will want to express their feelings,

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Does Divorce Scar Children? Or Selfish P...

Does Divorce Scar Children? Or Selfish Parents?
Divorce catches kids in the middle By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce is a highly emotional topic. When children are involved, the consequences are far more dramatic. And not surprisingly, so are our opinions. I know many people sincerely believe that no divorce is a good divorce. They argue that children are always harmed by the physical and emotional separation of their parents. Therefore, parents should – for the sake of the kids – just stick it out. They should not consider divorce until the children are grown. This is a particularly prevalent view for many adult children of divorce. Too often they have experienced the dramatic life changes that come with divorce. Many feel permanently scarred as a result. That response is certainly understandable. But it’s not the final word on this subject. I have another perspective. It’s based on the experience of being raised in

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Divorced Parents: Sharing Your Life Less...

Divorced Parents: Sharing Your Life Lessons Helps Your Children
Communication with your child is essential. By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC As a divorced parent, what lessons and behaviors are you modeling for your children? Bad things can happen to good people. Divorce is a prime example.  Good people get divorced. Responsible people who are loving parents get caught in the decision to end a loveless or deceitful marriage. The messages you convey will influence your children into adulthood. Here’s valuable advice on leaving a positive imprint on your innocent children.  Making Choices With Awareness The consequences of how you handle your divorce can either be life affirming or destroying. It depends on how each parent approaches this transition. Parents who are blinded by blame and anger are not likely to learn much through the experience. They see their former spouse as the total problem in their life. Consequently, they are convinced that getting rid of that

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7 Keys To Boosting The Grandparent-Grand...

7 Keys To Boosting The Grandparent-Grandchild Bond After Divorce!
Grandparents - grandchildren - affected by divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When divorce takes place, everyone in the family is affected. Often the impact on grandparents is overlooked amidst the turmoil involving parents and children. The results can be devastating for grandparents who want to be supportive and also stay in the lives of the children they love. Grandparents frequently wonder, “How can I help and stay close to my grandkids when we are geographically separated?” Even more challenging, how do you cope as grandparents when the consequences of divorce may limit or end physical visits with the grandkids? You do that in two important ways: 1) Maintain and strengthen the relationship you already have through available technology. 2) Use empathy and your best communication skills with your adult child’s former spouse. Talking to your daughter or son-in-law … If appropriate, ask permission to continue the relationship

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