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Child Centered Divorce
The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent
Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC
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When One Divorced Parent Tries To Spoil ...

When One Divorced Parent Tries To Spoil the Kids
parenting after divorce can be challenging By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC  It’s a common scenario. One divorced parent is spoiling the kids. Usually, they aren’t equally sharing parenting. So they  treat the children to lavish gifts, trips and other indulgences when spending time with the kids. Often the custodial parent may be struggling financially. Which infuriates that parent. In many cases it’s mom who finds herself in that position. However, not always. Either way, it’s a challenging dilemma to tackle. Smart parents know not to bad-mouth the spoiling parent to the kids. (They understand that put-downs will only backfire on them in the long run.) So custodial Mom (or Dad) is looking for suggestions on how to best handle this situation. Not surprisingly, there is often an underlying motive behind this kind of behavior. In many cases i t’s related to how frequently the other parent sees

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Make Effective Communication Top Priorit...

Make Effective Communication Top Priority For Co-Parenting Success
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Sure, divorce may end a marriage. But when you’re a parent it doesn’t end the need for working together on behalf of your children. How you communicate with one another about parenting issues is crucially important. That’s because it will affect your children today and for years to come! Here are some tips on keeping communication with your Ex as effective as possible. Communicate in writing  Use one of the many co-parenting apps/tools to schedule co-parenting appointments. You can also keep clear records of all conversations, notes, memos, and details. Avoid in-person or telephone talk if there is tension, animosity or conflict. Writing enables you to express yourself clearly and succinctly. Emails and texts record dates and time which can also be useful. Focus on the present – not the past  Communication is not about re-hashing old wounds and arguments. Focus on the issues at hand.

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5 Ways To Ease Between-Home Transitions ...

5 Ways To Ease Between-Home Transitions For Your Kids After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC During divorce proceedings parenting plans or contact schedules are usually established to create a semblance of routine in this new chapter of family life. I am a strong believer in co-parenting whenever possible to serve the best interest of your children. But it’s the reality of post-divorce daily life that puts everyone to the test. Here are 5 important ways to ease the co-parenting process and between-home transitions for everyone involved. Be more focused on your kids’ wellbeing than yours. Co-parenting is not about you. It’s about your children’s quality of life. If you have to overlook some annoyances to achieve a more peaceful outcome, do it. For your kids. For the greater good. For your own overall sanity! You’ll work out touchy issues more smoothly if you enter the process remembering this is all for giving your children the best childhood possible, despite your divorce.

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Bashing Your Ex Is Really Bad For Your K...

Bashing Your Ex Is Really Bad For Your Kids!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all do it from time to time. Make a sarcastic comment about our ex, criticize something they did or didn’t do, gesture or grimace our faces when referring to our former spouse. When we do it in front of, near or within hearing distance of our children, we set ourselves up for a hornet’s nest of problems. We have all heard this, but it’s easy to forget or let slide. It hurts our children when they hear one of their parents put down the other. This is so even if your child does not say anything about it. With rare exceptions, children innately feel they are part of both parents. They love them both even when that love isn’t returned to them in the same way. When you put down their other parent your children are likely to interpret it as a put-down of part

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Divorce Co-Parenting Depends On Coordina...

Divorce Co-Parenting Depends On Coordination & Cooperation
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Children are always affected by Divorce Moving through a divorce can seem like an insurmountable obstacle. For many parents it is just the beginning of a new and equally intimidating challenge: co-parenting your children. Hats off to all of you who have chosen to remain in your children’s lives as co-parents. It means both of you deeply care about your children. It confirms you want to continue raising them in the least-disruptive possible manner. Of course, not all parents can share the parenting process in this way. For some couples it is not the ideal situation to even attempt it. Those couples who are determined to co-parent mindfully, certainly deserve credit and acknowledgement. They seek solutions that involve cooperation and coordination between both parents. For example, choosing to live relatively close to one another. That reduces negative impact on school, sports and

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Keys To Rebuilding Your Self Esteem Afte...

Keys To Rebuilding Your Self Esteem After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Communication with your child is essential. Divorce can be devastating on many levels. In addition to the financial and stress toll on both partners, it can easily wreak havoc on one’s self-esteem. Even those who initiate the divorce process can experience tremendous emotional turmoil resulting in guilt, anxiety and insecurity. Those who were not expecting or desiring the break-up can feel psychologically battered. They are often confused and come away questioning their own worth. It’s hard to tackle these burdens alone. A divorce coach, therapist, support group or other related resources can be quite valuable. They will remind you that: you are not alone in your experiences or feelings there can be a brighter future ahead for you you must take proactive steps in that direction While family and friends are usually very well-intentioned, their support may not always be helpful for

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Parental Alienation and Divorce Conflict...

Parental Alienation and Divorce Conflict: Don’t Blame the Kids!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC It’s all too common to find parents who rage about their ex after the divorce. This usually includes venting about the other parent’s parenting skills. The results can be devastating. We all know divorce conflicts between parents can get ugly. But too often we forget the effects, not only on the “targeted” parent. Disrespectful words, actions and decisions take their toll on your innocent children! This becomes a form of parental alienation. PA is a serious and complex set of behaviors. They are designed to win the favor of one parent against the other. In most cases, that parent feels fully justified in their behaviors. They refuse to see or acknowledge the harm in the alienation. When kids get caught in the middle ... Of course, the biggest consequence is that the children get caught in the middle. They are often confused by hurtful and disrespectful

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When Children Of Divorce Resist Time Wit...

When Children Of Divorce Resist Time With Their Other Parent
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC  Parenting after divorce is always challenging, especially when your children act out. One big issue is handling children if they resist visitation with their other parent. Many factors come into play. Here are some pertinent questions to ask yourself to help you determine the source of the problem. And then understand why your children are resisting contact with their Mom or Dad. 1. Are you showing signs of depression or neediness? Have you been talking about missing your kids so much they are afraid to leave you? This creates a guilt mind-set in the home. Your kids take on the parenting role and feel guilty loving or wanting to be with their other parent. If this is the case, you are doing them an injustice and robbing them of the joys of having two parents to love. 2. Have they been privy to information, slurs or

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6 “Other Woman/Man” Mistakes Divorcing P

6 “Other Woman/Man” Mistakes Divorcing Parents Must Never Make!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When there’s an “other woman” (OW) in the picture, divorce can be vastly more complicated for parents. (Of course, it’s the same with the “other man.”) However, the challenges that can come with the "other woman” don't change the parenting rules. Affairs and new relationship partners mean you’re coping with tremendous emotional turmoil. And you deserve to be heard, validated and treated with great compassion at this time. But your kids deserve great compassion as well! When you’re a parent it is essential that you don’t make the big “never do” mistakes. It’s especially important when talking to your children and dealing with the OW – as tempting as it may be to do otherwise. That's the foundation of a successful child-centered divorce. Here are 6 damaging behaviors and “never do” mistakes you must avoid to show you love your kids more than you hate the

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6 Crucial Steps To Co-Parenting Success ...

6 Crucial Steps To Co-Parenting Success After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC While moving through divorce can seem like an insurmountable obstacle, for many parents it is just the beginning of a new and equally intimidating challenge:  co-parenting your children. Hats off to all of you who have chosen to remain in your children’s lives as co-parents. It means both of you care deeply about your children. And you both want to continue raising them in the least-disruptive possible manner. Of course, not all parents can share the co-parenting process in this way. For some couples it is not appropriate to even attempt it. But other couples are determined to co-parent and choose cooperative options. They want to live relatively close to one another so as not to disturb the school, sports and other related schedules of their children. They certainly deserve credit and acknowledgement. This is a complex topic that can’t be glossed over with a few

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