So much is being written about the Jon and Kate divorce, it may be overkill by now. But the lessons learned from airing dirty laundry in public, especially when that laundry is related to a divorce between two parents, can’t be overstated!
The media is not the place for two caring parents to discuss any aspect of their marital challenges and subsequent divorce. The temptations to justify – and amplify – your own “take” on the issues are just too strong. When divorce becomes all about YOU, you’ve lost your objectivity – and with it, the opportunity to create a Child-Centered Divorce – which should be the goal for all divorcing parents.
Had Jon and Kate had a third child, rather than six more, would any of this be happening in their lives? Would they have a public forum for acting out or discussing their marital problems? Of course, not. And they might not be getting a divorce either. But even if they were, chances are they would be handling their personal issues with more diplomacy and sincere concern about the effects on their children.
It’s time to shut down the circus, stop encouraging these parents to discuss their grievances in the public eye, and remind Jon and Kate about the irrevocable damage they are doing to their children.
With no audience, no attention to their drama, these two parents can retreat back into the privacy of their own family, where they belong. There, together, they can come up with a realistic, viable plan for moving on in their lives as mature, responsible and loving parents of eight innocent children. That’s challenge enough for any divorcing couple.
If Jon and Kate don’t have the sense to do this on their own, let’s not encourage them with more media attention. Let’s “send them to their rooms” and give them a mandatory “time out!”
* * *
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a relationship seminar facilitator and author of the new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids … about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children — with Love!. For free articles, her blog, valuable resources on child-centered divorce or to subscribe to her free ezine, go to: www.childcentereddivorce.com.
© Rosalind Sedacca 2009. All rights reserved.