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Divorce Rules For Parents From Your Chil...

Parenting Coordinator and trainer Ann Marie Termini, co-founder of the Cooperative Parenting Institute, has put together a set of rules that every divorced parent should take to heart. That’s because it comes from the heart of children like yours. While kids can’t adequately express themselves, these are the messages they want to share with you. Read them over on a daily basis until they are deeply entrenched in your mind and psyche. Before making important decisions that affect the well-being of your children during and after divorce, even many years after, refer to this list. Make sure you are not compromising their boundaries or putting them in awkward situations to appease your own needs, agenda and judgments about your former spouse – who is their other parent. With this list of rules in mind you will parent more effectively, earn your children’s life-long respect and give your kids the best

Child-Centered Divorce, Parenting After Divorce

Parent/Child Communication – even more vital Post-Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT It’s no secret that one of the biggest challenges a parent faces after divorce is maintaining good communication with your children. Obviously all parents struggle with communication issues as their children grow, but children who have had their lives dramatically altered by separation or divorce need even more attention – and diligent observation by their parents. Children tend not to tell you when they are angry, resentful, confused, hurt or depressed. Instead they reflect their problems through their behavior – acting out or perhaps turning inward in ways that you have not experienced prior to the divorce. Here are some tips that most all professionals agree about as ways to encourage positive and productive communication between you and your children. Many of these are obvious or innate behaviors. Some can easily be forgotten amid the challenges you are juggling in your own life on a daily

Parenting After Divorce

Two Challenges Children Face During and After Your Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Whether your divorce is pending or five years behind you, your children continue to process the reality according to their age and level of understanding. There are several concepts that cause the most emotional turmoil for children. Being aware of these sensitive areas can help parents address these issues more effectively. As your children age they may revisit your divorce with more questions, confusion or insecurity. That’s why it’s essential that you have answers ready based on a keen understanding of how children internalize a divorce – even long after it’s over. There are two major concepts that can create the most emotional pain for children. The first has to do with blame and the second with unrealistic expectations. Here are some suggestions for handling these common challenges. Children keep blaming themselves for the divorce – even after it’s over! Regardless of what their parents may

Parenting After Divorce

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Emotional Effects of Conflict on Children of Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Fighting around the children does more damage to them than divorce itself. A study published in the Journal of Research on Adolescence* shows that children exposed to constant parental bickering are more likely to be depressed. They are also more prone to expressing other “problem behaviors,” including substance abuse, aggression and poor school grades. Never battle where kids can see or hear you. Little ears can pick up phone conversations as well as conflict behind closed bedroom doors. Parents often don't think about the psychological impact of their arguments on children. It changes who they are and how they feel about themselves and life in general. Never lie or play one parent off the other to win your child’s favors. Telling lies about, bashing or demeaning your former spouse confuses, hurts and angers children in serious ways. Keep personal resentments personal and don’t use your kids

Parenting After Divorce

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Tips for Re-bonding with Children for Parents Alienated After Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Children can easily and subtly be influenced by both parents during and after divorce. Sometimes the influence is intentional. Other times parents may not be aware of how they are manipulating their children’s affection and allegiance toward themselves and away from their other parent. Either way, the damage for children can be significant, especially in regards to maintaining a loving connection with both parents when the divorce is over. Here’s some sound advice for parents who feel targeted for alienation and want to re-establish or keep a healthy parent-child relationship: • Keep in contact with your children in every possible way. Use video, texts, email and other technology to stay in touch, even on the most basic level. • Maintain your personal power regarding scheduling activities and contact with the children. Don’t passively enable your kids or your ex to dictate terms and conditions. • Create

Parenting After Divorce

Divorcing Parents – Protect Your Children by Avoiding Court Litigation

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT When famous celebrities like Mel Gibson, Denise Richards, Halle Berry and others battle through a divorce, the stakes are high. Millions of dollars are often in contention, blurring issues related to child-custody and visitation. These couples hire killer attorneys and commit to paying an enormous price -- which includes not only hefty legal fees, but a tremendous time expenditure and emotional toll. Too many non-celebrity couples facing divorce blindly choose this same path – often without considering the reality of all the costs involved. They do not have the revenue to maintain ongoing litigation in the courts. Nor do they have a game plan for putting together the pieces of their shattered family after the legal battles are finally over. Sadly they come to realize that celebrities are usually poor role models. They don’t necessarily make the wisest decisions regarding their children’s best interest as they

Child-Centered Divorce

Divorcing Parents: Be the Role Model You Want Your Kids To Be

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT I recently came upon this quote from British blogger, David Bly: “Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be.” Basically that’s the best advice anyone can give any parent. It’s especially so when faced with challenging times, such as your divorce. It’s estimated that 40% of our children will experience the divorce of their parents. The outcome is not the same for all children or all families. That’s why it’s so important for parents facing divorce to understand that every decision they make has consequences that affect their children as well as their own well-being for years and decades to come. As a Divorce & Parenting Coach I’ve found that many parents are short-sighted when it comes to understanding the effects of divorce on their children. They don’t understand that emotional wounds in childhood lead to behaviors in the

Child-Centered Divorce

Conflicting Lifestyles Create Conflicts for Divorced Moms and Dads

As a Divorce & Parenting Coach I continually get asked questions from concerned parents. One of the questions recently sent to me focused on an issue that many divorced parents face with mounting frustration. It had to do with this woman’s ex-husband treating the children to lavish gifts and trips when he has them, while Mom is struggling financially. She added that she is aware that she shouldn’t say anything negative to her children about her ex, but she was finding it difficult in the face of her circumstances. The question, of course, was what can she do about this? It’s impossible to provide a specific answer when the so many of the circumstances are unknown in this situation. How often is Dad seeing the children? What kind of relationship does he have with them when he is not there? Is he angry about not sharing custody? Is he resentful

Parenting After Divorce

Divorced Parents: Don’t Drag Your Kids Into Your Emotions

Divorce can be devastating when you’re a parent. You can’t just crawl into a hole and grieve, rant or rage. You must still care for the well-being of your children. And sometimes this is a challenge that overwhelms, resulting in parents who can’t cope with the responsibilities of parenting. When this happens, your children pay a high price. And too often, the parents aren’t totally aware of how their kids are affected. It’s not always easy to remember that your children may be grieving as deeply as you are during and after divorce. It’s even more frightening for them because they were not responsible for the divorce nor the complex dynamics that led up to the split. Their fears are compounded by apprehension about whether Mom or Dad will ever divorce them -- and what will happen to them and their family in the future. As dramatically as your life

Parenting After Divorce

Raising Happy, Well-Adjusted Children – Despite Divorce

Parenting is a continual learning process, which is compounded when you are going through a divorce. Here's how to speak to your children so you are heard and they listen.

Parenting After Divorce

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Divorce Rules For Parents From Your Chil...

Parent/Child Communication – even more v

Two Challenges Children Face During and ...

Emotional Effects of Conflict on Childre...

Tips for Re-bonding with Children for Pa...

Divorcing Parents – Protect Your Childre

Divorcing Parents: Be the Role Model You...

Conflicting Lifestyles Create Conflicts ...

Divorced Parents: Don’t Drag Your Kids I

Raising Happy, Well-Adjusted Children –

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