children of divorce Archives - Page 4 of 5

Divorced Parents’ 10 Biggest Parenting M

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Some parents think once they are divorced and most of the decisions have been made, the worst is behind them. Unfortunately, parenting after divorce is a week by week experience. Your success depends on the decisions you make, your attitude toward your situation and your compassion for your innocent children. You may have heard it all before, but smart parents quiz themselves regularly to see if they are not falling into some of the traps of destructive post-divorce parenting. If you find yourself making any of these mistakes, it’s never too late to make amends. You may have to alter decisions, change some behaviors, give yourself an attitude adjustment and even apologize to your children – or to their other parent! Keep in mind, we all make mistakes that we regret. It’s part of the learning process – especially when we’re parents. It’s far better to

Parenting After Divorce

Raising Healthy, Well-Adjusted Children – Despite Divorce

Co-parenting & single parenting after divorce Amy Sherman, LMHC is one of the contributors to my internationally-acclaimed book, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children -- with Love! Today she shares some of her wisdom based on her private practice and years of working with pre-teen and teen populations. Parenting is a continual learning process, which is compounded when you are going through a divorce. Not only does it require an understanding of the child’s needs and the skills to meet those needs, but it requires additional special attention. Talking to your children about the divorce could be one of the most difficult experiences of parenting, because you want, of course, your wisdom to be heard and then your child to apply it. From my work with divorced parents and their children, I have gained much insight

Parenting After Divorce

Parents: Preserving Family Photos Essential For Children of Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC I read a poignant comment on a blog recently, written by a married mother of three. She was a child of divorce whose father moved out of the home when she was four. She talks about having very few pictures of herself as a child and only one of her mother and father together. Her grandfather found and gave her the photo just a few years ago. She framed it and has proudly displayed it in her home for her own children to see. She talks about how special that one photo of her with Mom and Dad is to her. It shows a little girl sitting happily on a lawn with her “real” family – before the divorce. This woman grieves that she has no other photographs of her father and so few pictures of her childhood. She assumes that her mother hid or destroyed

Parenting After Divorce

Children of Divorce Deserve Special Holiday Attention

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all know the holiday season is fraught with stress, overwhelm and pressure for parents. But we are not alone. For children facing their parents’ divorce or who are experiencing their first holiday season post-divorce, this can be an especially tough time of year. So I reach out to all parents, and extended family members, who want to protect children caught in the consequences of a divorce, to be especially mindful and compassionate during the weeks ahead. It doesn’t take much to give a child or a teen a joyous occasion spending time with you. You don’t need expensive gifts or trips to exotic places. Doing things together are what count most. Sledding, ice skating, baking, creating crafts, watching a movie, visiting a children’s museum, taking a short railroad trip, building a snowman, making a family video, adopting a pet from a local shelter, volunteering to

Parenting After Divorce

Back to School After Divorce: Helping Your Kids Adapt & Heal!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC parenting after divorce Back to school time is always stressful for families. However, returning to school after their parents have separated or divorced can be especially difficult for any child. As a parent, you can ease the transition, by making the school your ally. This will open the door to the many resources available to you through the school. The key here is in forming a cooperative relationship with key personnel. Making your child’s teachers aware of your divorce and related changes in your home environment and scheduling will be helpful both for them and your child. That’s because school is really a second home for children in our culture. Regardless of their age, children can’t be expected to turn off their emotions during or after a divorce any more than their parents can. Fear, insecurity, shame, guilt and other emotions are usually triggered

Child-Centered Divorce

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New Year … New Divorce Challenges. Are You Protecting Your Children?

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Statistics bear it out. Every January the number of couples filing for divorce rises dramatically. And while the divorce rate has gone down the past few years, because of the economy, January is still the month with the highest divorce rate. When you think about it, the reason comes as no surprise. Many couples considering splitting decide to wait until after the holidays to break the news to their children. Others wait to take advantage of year-end job bonuses, if they come, so they’ll have the extra funds to cover attorney, moving and other related expenses. Regardless, it’s not the why that should be concerning us at this time – it’s the how. How are divorcing parents going to approach their separation or divorce – and how will it affect their innocent children? I, too, planned my separation at this time of year more than a

Parenting After Divorce

Emotional Effects of Conflict on Children of Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Fighting around the children does more damage to them than divorce itself. That’s why as parents we need to be diligent in monitoring our children as well as our own behavior to safeguard our kids from emotional and psychological damage. A study published in the Journal of Research on Adolescence* shows that children exposed to constant parental bickering are more likely to be depressed. They are also more prone to expressing other “problem behaviors,” including substance abuse, aggression and poor school grades. Here are some essential behaviors to avoid during and after divorce to protect your children from the negative effects of conflict on their psyches. Never battle where kids can see or hear you. Little ears can pick up phone conversations as well as conflict behind closed bedroom doors. Parents often don't think about the psychological impact of their arguments on children. It changes who they

Parenting After Divorce

Divorce With Children: Communicate Well For a Better Outcome!

By Rosalind Sedacca During and after divorce your children may be hyper-sensitive about many things. What may have formerly been routine conversations, questions or activities can now be touchy subjects fraught with anxiety, resentment or anger. This is understandable when you consider that the stability of the world they knew has been dramatically altered. Minor insecurities can easily grow into major problems. Children may regress in their behaviors and skills, become more clinging - or more aloof - depending on their adaptability and perspective about the divorce. This is a time to master the art of good parent/child communication so you can reinforce or rebuild trust, security and confidence that things will be okay again - despite the changes created by your divorce. Here are some solid tips for more effective communication with your children. Master them today and they will work on your behalf for years and years ahead. Keep your conversations private -

Child-Centered Divorce, Parenting After Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT I read a poignant comment on a blog recently written by a married mother of three. She was a child of divorce whose father moved out of the home when she was four. She talks about having very few pictures of herself as a child and only one of her mother and father together. Her grandfather found and gave her the photo just a few years ago. She framed it and has proudly displayed it in her home for her own children to see. She explains how special that one photo of her with Mom and Dad is to her. It shows a little girl sitting happily on a lawn with her “real” family – before the divorce. This woman grieves that she has no other photographs of her father and so few pictures of her childhood. She assumes that her mother hid or destroyed all

Parenting After Divorce

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After Divorce: Smart Ways to Stay Connected With Your Kids

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT For so many parents, divorce is a time of disconnection. It’s not uncommon to feel alone, rejected and insecure in the months following your divorce. So can your children. It is therefore vitally important for caring parents to strengthen their bond with their children during this period of transition – whether they are living with them or apart. Children want to know they are still loved, valued and cared about. Child-centered parents understand this and make it a priority to show them, tell them and keep in close communication with them – during the happy times as well as the sad. Children want to know they have a safe place to turn, a shoulder to cry on and a non-judgmental ear when they need it. If divorce has been tough on you – remember it’s even tougher on your kids – whether they

Child-Centered Divorce

Divorced Parents’ 10 Biggest Parenting M

Raising Healthy, Well-Adjusted Children ...

Parents: Preserving Family Photos Essent...

Children of Divorce Deserve Special Holi...

Back to School After Divorce: Helping Yo...

New Year … New Divorce Challenges. Are Y

Emotional Effects of Conflict on Childre...

Divorce With Children: Communicate Well ...

Family Photos Vitally Important for Chil...

After Divorce: Smart Ways to Stay Connec...

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