10 Tips For Divorced Dads Raising Daught...

By Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW A girl stands a better chance of becoming a self-confident woman if she has a close bond with her father. A daughter’s sense of self, for instance, is often connected to how her father views her. In fact, studies show that a father’s effect on his daughter’s psychological well-being and identity is far-reaching. Research has shown that fathers play an important role in the lives of their daughters but that this relationship is the one that changes the most after divorce. While most daughters of divorce are well adjusted several years after their parents’ divorce, many have damaged relationships with their fathers. Unfortunately, if the wound is severe, a girl may grow into adulthood with low self-esteem and trust issues. What girls and women need is a loving, predictable father figure – whether or not her parents are married, single, or divorced. The following statistics

Parenting After Divorce

3 Comments

KIDS EMAIL: a smart tool for divorced parents … PROTECTS KIDS WHILE GIVING THEM THEIR FREEDOM

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Children of divorce face challenges other kids don’t have. In most cases, they don’t see Mom and Dad at the same time in the same home. They travel between homes and can spend days, weeks – even months – between visits with their other parent. Fortunately today’s technology makes life easier for these kids than ever before. Email, texting, notebooks and smart phones can build bridges with parents at a distance. But with the convenience also comes anxiety as parental stress mounts regarding how to ensure safe communication when using email and social media. Are your children being protected from spam, vulgarity, viruses and predators while on the internet, smart phones and tablets? Have you lost parental control over who they contact and what they say? Do you feel your children are safe when communicating with you, their other parent, family and friends? KidsEmail is great

Parenting After Divorce

After Divorce: Smart Ways to Stay Connected With Your Kids

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT For so many parents, divorce is a time of disconnection. It’s not uncommon to feel alone, rejected and insecure in the months following your divorce. So can your children. It is therefore vitally important for caring parents to strengthen their bond with their children during this period of transition – whether they are living with them or apart. Children want to know they are still loved, valued and cared about. Child-centered parents understand this and make it a priority to show them, tell them and keep in close communication with them – during the happy times as well as the sad. Children want to know they have a safe place to turn, a shoulder to cry on and a non-judgmental ear when they need it. If divorce has been tough on you – remember it’s even tougher on your kids – whether they

Child-Centered Divorce

How to Minimize the Negative Effects of Divorce on Your Children

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Over the years there have been endless studies on the effects of divorce on parents and children. Some of the results are controversial. Others seem to be universally accepted as relevant and real. Here are some insights about how divorce affects children at different ages and stages that I believe all of us, as parents, should take to heart. Not surprisingly, the first two years of divorce are the most difficult. In some cases it takes an average of three to five years to really "work through" and resolve many of the issues and emotions that come to the surface. For some, the effects of divorce last many additional years -- or even a lifetime -- if not dealt with appropriately. Taking steps toward a child-centered divorce can dramatically impact the negative effects of divorce on all members of the family. It will help everyone to

Child-Centered Divorce

2 Comments

Bashing Your Ex Is Bad News For Your Children!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT We all do it from time to time. Make a sarcastic comment about our ex, criticize something they did or didn’t do, gesture or grimace our faces when referring to our former spouse. When we do it in front of, near or within hearing distance of our children, we set ourselves up for a hornet’s nest of problems. We have all heard this, but it’s easy to forget or let slide. It hurts our children when they hear one of their parents put down the other. This is so even if your child does not say anything about it. With rare exceptions, children innately feel they are part of both parents. They love them both even when that love isn’t returned to them in the same way. When you put down their other parent your children are likely to interpret it as a put-down of part

Parenting After Divorce

Child Custody During Divorce – Are You Putting Your Children First?

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT When facing divorce as a parent child-custody issues can become quite challenging and emotions regarding divorce-related issues can easily become charged. I recently came upon an article about proposed changes to child custody legislation pending in some states. An investigative committee was being formed to consider whether “shared parenting may be the best custodial situation for all children of divorcing parents.” While I am a strong advocate of shared parenting – it worked very successfully for me – I do not believe it’s the right or only answer for everyone. Because every situation is different when it comes to divorce, I certainly don’t believe legislation should be determining custody outcomes for any family. These are issues that caring, conscious parents should be deciding together with only one goal in mind – the very best interest of their children. Unfortunately, too many parents approach this issue as

Child-Centered Divorce

Divorced Parents’ Dilemma: Privacy vs. Sharing About the Children

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT What do you recommend when the other parent tells your children not to tell you what goes on in their house? Great question! You’re not alone in asking about this and it’s not an easy one to answer. After divorce most parents want to keep their private lives private and don’t want the children sharing too many details about their visit time. Asking children to “spy” on their other parent puts the kids in an awkward situation. They feel guilty, pressured and confused, especially if Mom or Dad tells them not to share specific information. This delicate subject needs to be addressed between both parents and agreed upon in advance. Children should be able to share something about activities or other innocent details regarding their time with their other parent. Asking not to say anything is unfair to the children who naturally want to talk about

Parenting After Divorce

2 Comments

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT January is International Child-Centered Divorce Month. The entire month is dedicated to helping parents minimize the negative effects of divorce on children – by giving them the tools and resources they need to support their kids during and long after a divorce. Throughout January divorce attorneys, mediators, therapists, financial planners, coaches, parenting experts and other professionals around the world will be providing complimentary gifts offering advice and insights to help parents best cope with divorce and parenting issues. More divorces are initiated in January, following the holiday season, than in any other month. That’s why the Child-Centered Divorce Network chose January to commemorate ICCD Month every year. The goal is to educate parents about how to prevent negative consequences for children during and after separation or divorce. At the special website, parents can access free ebooks, coaching services, videos, audio programs and other valuable gifts by

Child-Centered Divorce

Divorced Parents: Don’t Take Advice from Family and Friends

Divorced Parents: Don’t Take Advice from Family & Friends Be gracious about accepting advice – then do what is congruent for you! By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Divorce is a subject that, by its very nature, brings up lots of judgments. Most people seem to have strong opinions about divorce, primarily influenced by their own experiences or the programming of their upbringing. It’s very unlikely that any one argument will change the mind of someone who feels in direct opposition about the subject. This is important to keep this in mind when you find yourself going through the trials of separation or divorce. Your family and friends all mean well. They want to support and help you through any crisis. But be aware that along with their support they bring with them the baggage of opinions and judgments that inevitably color their advice. If you allow yourself to be influenced by

Parenting After Divorce

Helping You & Your Children Survive the Holidays After Your Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT One of the toughest transitions for children of divorce is coping with the first holiday season. As parents our challenge is to create new traditions and activities that can replace the memories of family holidays in the past. Here are some suggestions for helping your children keep the best spirits through the holiday season. Be Attentive and Compassionate Talk to your children about the holidays. Listen, and don’t lecture. Let them vent about their feelings, regrets and frustrations. Acknowledge what they are expressing to you and show compassionate understanding. Be aware that some children will hold their feelings in as a means to protect you. Reassure them that it’s okay to talk about their sadness as well as apprehension about what they will experience this year. Remind your children that what they are feeling is natural and normal. Be there for them with reassurance and hugs.

Parenting After Divorce

4 Comments

10 Tips For Divorced Dads Raising Daught...

KIDS EMAIL: a smart tool for divorced pa...

After Divorce: Smart Ways to Stay Connec...

How to Minimize the Negative Effects of ...

Bashing Your Ex Is Bad News For Your Chi...

Child Custody During Divorce – Are You P

Divorced Parents’ Dilemma: Privacy vs. S

International Child-Centered Divorce Mon...

Divorced Parents: Don’t Take Advice from

Helping You & Your Children Survive the

Blog Posts by Date (Archives)

Categories