What To Do When Your Ex Bad-Mouths You t...

By Sandra Beck Many of us in high-conflict parenting relationships find ourselves the butt of jokes, the victim of malicious half-true and down-right untrue gossip spread by our Ex or their partner, and being the topic of “heart-to-heart” conversations with your ex and your children filled with carefully crafted stories intended to alienate your children from you. Sometimes it works. Sometimes your kids come home and say things like, “Mom, is it true that when you were in your 20s you smoked pot? Dad said you did and he said his current wife never did that?” or they say, “Hey Mom, Dad says you lie in court. Dad says you lie to the police. Dad said you lie to his friends.” The hard thing is not reacting. You want to knock some sense into the thick-skulled Ex for not understanding his or her need to punish, retaliate, control or whatever

Parenting After Divorce

Divorced Parent to Parent Transfers: How to Minimize Stress for Your Child

For children of divorce moving between homes is stressful enough without the transfers themselves being upsetting. There are many ways in which parents can turn simple transfers into real nightmares. If your transfers are unnecessarily stressful following these tips for minimizing your child’s parent-to-parent transfer: General Tips Keep your child’s transfer as brief as possible even if your child attempts to delay by trying to engage you in an activity with them. Say “hello” and “goodbye” to the other parent even if they do not speak to you. Your child needs to see that you are reasonable and civil in spite of the other parent’s action. Simple salutations only should occur at transfers. This is not the time for discussions. If the other parent attempts to start a discussion just say, “I’d like to speak with you regarding that but now isn’t the time. Give me a call or email

Parenting After Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Divorce drives some people crazy. Because of that, they make many poor decisions. Their judgment, integrity and credibility are easy to question. Their decisions regarding taking responsibility for their children come under scrutiny. There is much we can all learn from these mistakes. And wisdom we can take away that is important for all of us to remember: It’s never too late to get it right – when your children are at stake! In the heat of the divorce drama, we may have settled for a decision or two that we later regretted and still feel resentful. Or we made a child-related agreement that, in hindsight, was not in our child’s best interest – but we don’t know quite how to remedy the situation. Perhaps we lost our tempers at an inappropriate time and watched our children painfully internalize the experience. Maybe we referred to our

Parenting After Divorce

5 Costly Mistakes That Can Sabotage a Parent’s Divorce Settlement

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT When the emotional turmoil of divorce enters your life, it can be hard to focus on the crucial details revolving around financial issues. However, if you are not pro-active in covering your short and long-term financial needs, you can suffer the consequences for decades to come. Here are five mistakes to avoid when negotiating through your divorce. 1. Becoming a Financial Victim. Take the initiative. If a separation or divorce may be in your future, don’t wait. Be sure to make copies of all your important financial records. Include all account statements and other documents -- banks, checking accounts, credit cards, real estate mortgages, stocks and bonds, tax returns, wills, life insurance, etc. If there’s a chance your spouse may liquidate or re-title any marital assets, immediately notify the holder in writing and get a restraining order from the court. Keep your eye on the cash

Child-Centered Divorce

2 Comments

Parental Conflict Alienates/Hurts/Changes Children of Divorce Long Term

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT In a newsletter from Dr. Mark Goulston I read that: “A majority of teenagers, when asked if they had the choice between their parents being nicer to them or more loving towards each other, will pick the latter. The animosity between parents is very painful to their children.” Stop and think about that for a moment. Teenagers would sacrifice receiving more love from their parents if they could assure their parents got along better with one another. This reinforces what most mental health professionals have long known: Parental conflict is a source of continual pain for our children – whether the parents are married or divorced! As a Divorce & Parenting Coach and Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network for parents, my goal is to make sure both parents fully understand the impact of parental discord upon your children. That’s why I ask every client: Do

Parenting After Divorce

2 Comments

Co-Parenting Success After Divorce Dependent on Wise Decisions

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT If you’re a parent, divorce doesn’t end your relationship with your former spouse. It only changes the form in some specific ways. It is still essential to create a working relationship focused on the optimum care and concern for your children. Every co-parenting relationship will be unique, affected by your post-divorce family dynamics. However, there are guidelines that will enhance the results for children in any family. Here are some crucial points to keep in mind to maximize your co-parenting success. Respect your co-parent’s boundaries: Chances are your former spouse has a different parenting style than you, with some conflicting rules. Rather than stress yourself about these differences, learn to accept that life is never consistent and it may actually be beneficial for your kids to experience other ways of doing things. Step back from micro-managing your co-parent’s life. If the kids aren’t in harm’s way,

Parenting After Divorce

2 Comments

Divorcing Parents: 10 Questions to Ask Before Fighting Over the Kids

Divorce Attorney Larry Sarezky has created a short film to stop divorcing parents from engaging in high-conflict custody battles for the sake of the kids. I saw the film, Talk to Strangers, and was dramatically impacted by its message. Larry also provides ten questions divorcing parents should ask themselves before fighting over the kids in court. His years of experience have shown him the consequences for the children involved – effects they’ll experience on a life-long basis. Here are Larry’s 10 questions, along with his opening comments about high conflict divorce. Ten Questions to Ask Before Fighting Over the Kids My worst nightmare as a divorce lawyer is that thousands of children are growing up wondering why the “grown-ups” didn’t protect them from their parents’ high conflict divorces. That’s how my film, Talk to Strangers came into being. But long before that, I put together ten questions to ask clients

Child-Centered Divorce

New Divorce View Talk Show Offers Divorce, Co-parenting and Moving on Advice from Experts on Live Internet TV and Radio (via PRWeb) The Divorce View, co-hosted by the Divorce Mentor Team, Joanie Winberg and Rosalind Sedacca, tackles challenging issues while providing support and resources for those going through or transitioning after divorce. Rosalind Sedacca, Divorce & Parenting…

Guest Experts

Five Keys to More Positive Parenting (and a happier you) After Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Parenting during and after divorce can be complex, frustrating and confusing. However, every day parents around the world are coping with the challenges of raising happy, well-adjusted children. There are many factors that influence your effectiveness as a parent. Here we’ll review five factors that play an important role in your pre- and post-divorce parenting success. Monitor Your Attitude Attitude plays a crucial part in every facet of our lives and especially when we’re coping with divorce. If you approach your divorce with a commitment to making it as positive an experience as possible on behalf of the children you love, you are on your way to succeeding. What attitude are you conveying about your divorce? Try to catch your thoughts and the way you speak about it. Are you filled with negativity? Are your days consumed with a “poor me” state of consciousness? Are you

Parenting After Divorce

Divorced? A quality online scheduling tool can ease the co-parenting process!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Divorce is always more challenging for parents. When both can agree about general parenting philosophies the co-parenting process can be amicable and supportive. However, when the divorce ends in acrimony, too often it leads to spiteful, high conflict parenting which can be extremely harmful for your innocent children. It also creates more tension and stress for both parents who want to move on with their own lives. One way for parents stay on track, co-parent more effectively and reduce sources of conflict is to use an online co-parent scheduling tool. They are designed to eliminate misunderstandings, confusion, inaccurate communication and quarrels about the inevitable changes of plans and last-minute conflicts that come about for divorced parents. They also minimize the stress of co-parenting and make it easier to resolve issues, schedule or re-schedule activates as well as plan vacations, celebrations, medical appointments and other routine family

Parenting After Divorce

What To Do When Your Ex Bad-Mouths You t...

Divorced Parent to Parent Transfers: How...

Divorced Parents: Made Mistakes You Regr...

5 Costly Mistakes That Can Sabotage a Pa...

Parental Conflict Alienates/Hurts/Change...

Co-Parenting Success After Divorce Depen...

Divorcing Parents: 10 Questions to Ask B...

New Divorce View Talk Show Offers Divorc...

Five Keys to More Positive Parenting (an...

Divorced? A quality online scheduling to...

Blog Posts by Date (Archives)

Categories