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International Child-Centered Divorce Mon...

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT January is International Child-Centered Divorce Month. The entire month is dedicated to helping parents minimize the negative effects of divorce on children – by giving them the tools and resources they need to support their kids during and long after a divorce. Throughout January divorce attorneys, mediators, therapists, financial planners, coaches, parenting experts and other professionals around the world will be providing complimentary gifts offering advice and insights to help parents best cope with divorce and parenting issues. More divorces are initiated in January, following the holiday season, than in any other month. That’s why the Child-Centered Divorce Network chose January to commemorate ICCD Month every year. The goal is to educate parents about how to prevent negative consequences for children during and after separation or divorce. At the special website, parents can access free ebooks, coaching services, videos, audio programs and other valuable gifts by

Child-Centered Divorce

Divorced Parents: Don’t Take Advice from Family and Friends

Divorced Parents: Don’t Take Advice from Family & Friends Be gracious about accepting advice – then do what is congruent for you! By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Divorce is a subject that, by its very nature, brings up lots of judgments. Most people seem to have strong opinions about divorce, primarily influenced by their own experiences or the programming of their upbringing. It’s very unlikely that any one argument will change the mind of someone who feels in direct opposition about the subject. This is important to keep this in mind when you find yourself going through the trials of separation or divorce. Your family and friends all mean well. They want to support and help you through any crisis. But be aware that along with their support they bring with them the baggage of opinions and judgments that inevitably color their advice. If you allow yourself to be influenced by

Parenting After Divorce

What To Do When Your Ex Bad-Mouths You to Your Kids

By Sandra Beck Many of us in high-conflict parenting relationships find ourselves the butt of jokes, the victim of malicious half-true and down-right untrue gossip spread by our Ex or their partner, and being the topic of “heart-to-heart” conversations with your ex and your children filled with carefully crafted stories intended to alienate your children from you. Sometimes it works. Sometimes your kids come home and say things like, “Mom, is it true that when you were in your 20s you smoked pot? Dad said you did and he said his current wife never did that?” or they say, “Hey Mom, Dad says you lie in court. Dad says you lie to the police. Dad said you lie to his friends.” The hard thing is not reacting. You want to knock some sense into the thick-skulled Ex for not understanding his or her need to punish, retaliate, control or whatever

Parenting After Divorce

Should Divorced Dads Get Equal Custody? Let the Battle Begin …

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT More than ever before, divorce is making news. Much of it is due to changing legislation in many nations and several states within the U.S. regarding issues such as custody. In the past five years there have also been major shifts in our perceptions about divorce and the emergence of new alternatives that can simplify and reduce the time and cost involved in divorce proceedings. Consequently, society is talking more and caring more about divorce than ever before in history. This, I believe, is very good because with discussion comes awareness of the many complex challenges that surround divorce. This includes the many weaknesses and inequities in our divorce-related legal systems and the long-term consequences of poor decision-making as couples attempt to transition through the divorce maze. A while back Parade Magazine, the Sunday supplement magazine that comes with newspapers in many large cities around the

Child-Centered Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Divorce drives some people crazy. Because of that, they make many poor decisions. Their judgment, integrity and credibility are easy to question. Their decisions regarding taking responsibility for their children come under scrutiny. There is much we can all learn from these mistakes. And wisdom we can take away that is important for all of us to remember: It’s never too late to get it right – when your children are at stake! In the heat of the divorce drama, we may have settled for a decision or two that we later regretted and still feel resentful. Or we made a child-related agreement that, in hindsight, was not in our child’s best interest – but we don’t know quite how to remedy the situation. Perhaps we lost our tempers at an inappropriate time and watched our children painfully internalize the experience. Maybe we referred to our

Parenting After Divorce

Children of Divorce: Protecting Their Well-Being & Minimizing Emotional Effects

For many families, divorce is a part of life. And while every case is different, divorce is never easy. From estranged couples and their children, to in-laws, family members and loved ones, the dissolution of a marriage can have a profound effect on entire families and social circles. And, unfortunately, many divorcing couples become so ensnared in the details of their cases, they forget to focus on the well-being of their children, loved ones, and even themselves. Thankfully, though, there are ways to minimize the emotional and psychological impact of divorce. Keep reading for tips on reducing conflict and simplifying the process of divorce, as well as protecting children along the way. Honesty is (Usually) the Best Policy When it comes to the gritty details of divorce, some things are best kept between the couple in question; however, children should always be included in family conversations about separation and divorce. For

Parenting After Divorce

5 Costly Mistakes That Can Sabotage a Parent’s Divorce Settlement

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT When the emotional turmoil of divorce enters your life, it can be hard to focus on the crucial details revolving around financial issues. However, if you are not pro-active in covering your short and long-term financial needs, you can suffer the consequences for decades to come. Here are five mistakes to avoid when negotiating through your divorce. 1. Becoming a Financial Victim. Take the initiative. If a separation or divorce may be in your future, don’t wait. Be sure to make copies of all your important financial records. Include all account statements and other documents -- banks, checking accounts, credit cards, real estate mortgages, stocks and bonds, tax returns, wills, life insurance, etc. If there’s a chance your spouse may liquidate or re-title any marital assets, immediately notify the holder in writing and get a restraining order from the court. Keep your eye on the cash

Child-Centered Divorce

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Parental Conflict Alienates/Hurts/Changes Children of Divorce Long Term

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT In a newsletter from Dr. Mark Goulston I read that: “A majority of teenagers, when asked if they had the choice between their parents being nicer to them or more loving towards each other, will pick the latter. The animosity between parents is very painful to their children.” Stop and think about that for a moment. Teenagers would sacrifice receiving more love from their parents if they could assure their parents got along better with one another. This reinforces what most mental health professionals have long known: Parental conflict is a source of continual pain for our children – whether the parents are married or divorced! As a Divorce & Parenting Coach and Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network for parents, my goal is to make sure both parents fully understand the impact of parental discord upon your children. That’s why I ask every client: Do

Parenting After Divorce

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Co-Parenting Success After Divorce Dependent on Wise Decisions

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT If you’re a parent, divorce doesn’t end your relationship with your former spouse. It only changes the form in some specific ways. It is still essential to create a working relationship focused on the optimum care and concern for your children. Every co-parenting relationship will be unique, affected by your post-divorce family dynamics. However, there are guidelines that will enhance the results for children in any family. Here are some crucial points to keep in mind to maximize your co-parenting success. Respect your co-parent’s boundaries: Chances are your former spouse has a different parenting style than you, with some conflicting rules. Rather than stress yourself about these differences, learn to accept that life is never consistent and it may actually be beneficial for your kids to experience other ways of doing things. Step back from micro-managing your co-parent’s life. If the kids aren’t in harm’s way,

Parenting After Divorce

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Divorcing Parents: 10 Questions to Ask Before Fighting Over the Kids

Divorce Attorney Larry Sarezky has created a short film to stop divorcing parents from engaging in high-conflict custody battles for the sake of the kids. I saw the film, Talk to Strangers, and was dramatically impacted by its message. Larry also provides ten questions divorcing parents should ask themselves before fighting over the kids in court. His years of experience have shown him the consequences for the children involved – effects they’ll experience on a life-long basis. Here are Larry’s 10 questions, along with his opening comments about high conflict divorce. Ten Questions to Ask Before Fighting Over the Kids My worst nightmare as a divorce lawyer is that thousands of children are growing up wondering why the “grown-ups” didn’t protect them from their parents’ high conflict divorces. That’s how my film, Talk to Strangers came into being. But long before that, I put together ten questions to ask clients

Child-Centered Divorce

International Child-Centered Divorce Mon...

Divorced Parents: Don’t Take Advice from

What To Do When Your Ex Bad-Mouths You t...

Should Divorced Dads Get Equal Custody? ...

Divorced Parents: Made Mistakes You Regr...

Children of Divorce: Protecting Their We...

5 Costly Mistakes That Can Sabotage a Pa...

Parental Conflict Alienates/Hurts/Change...

Co-Parenting Success After Divorce Depen...

Divorcing Parents: 10 Questions to Ask B...

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