divorce advice Archives - Page 2 of 7 - Child-Centered Divorce

Parental Alienation After Divorce: Don’t

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC April 25 is Parental Alienation Day -- a time to reflect on how you are influencing your children regarding your divorce. Parental Alienation is the darkest, most damaging consequence of divorce done wrong. It's impact can last a lifetime -- and it can boomerang on you in the years to come. Some thoughts on Parental Alienation, especially for the alienated parent ... Divorce conflicts between parents can get ugly. And too often parents tend to vent or share this anger about the other parent with one or more of the children involved. The results can be devastating – not only for the “target” parent, but for the children, as well. This is just one form of parental alienation which is a serious and very complex set of behaviors which often feel justified by the alienating parent. The problem is that children get caught in the middle,

Parenting After Divorce

Parents: Why It’s Vital To Let Go Of Grudges After Your Divorce!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Gandhi Divorce can be a major stumbling block to our happiness and personal growth. Holding grudges and resentments have been proven to be harmful to your physical health and emotional well-being – not to mention the psychological effects on your children. Forgiveness is a productive way to move forward, detach from the past and let go of lingering hurts so you can experience a healthier, more promising future – and protect your children from toxic parenting. It is not uncommon to resent your ex or other people closest to you because they have often done us some harm such as violating our trust through a lie, betrayal, deceit or abuse. However, resentment comes at a big cost to you. When you can’t let go of hurt and anger, it builds into a resentment or

Parenting After Divorce

Parenting Yourself Through Divorce To Better Protect Your Children

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce is a life-altering experience that takes its toll on your physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing. Its ramifications not only turn your own world upside down, but can also seriously affect your innocent children – a dire consequence we all want to avoid. Since divorce is a process, often a lengthy one, there are days – yes, weeks and months – when life can seem awfully low. Often overbearing. The weight can seem just too much to carry. The many life changes related to divorce can play a part in these difficult circumstances. And when you’re a parent at the same time … well, you know how it feels! Just know, as well, that you’re not alone. Parenting is tough for everyone, even under the best of circumstances. Parenting through and beyond divorce takes enormous focus and a continuous need for compassion, both for yourself and

Child-Centered Divorce

1 Comment

Divorced? 4 Valuable Life Lessons to Help You Move On!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT The aftermath of divorce can be a sense of self-discovery or internment in a self-made prison of depression and resentment. It’s all about our acceptance of what is and determination to use the divorce as a pathway to a new and better life. The good news: it’s all up to us. We can create an attitude of positive expectation or we can subjugate ourselves to months and years of self-pity and despair down the road. The bad news: it’s not always easy to change our attitude or perspective on life. But if you do, you’ll be rewarded with a happier future for yourself as well as your children. Here are some vital steps to embracing your divorce as a catalyst to a brighter future. Boost your self-esteem. One of the most damaging effects of divorce can be a toll on your self-esteem, especially if you were

Relationship Advice

How To Talk To Your Kids After Divorce — and Why It’s So Crucial!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT During and after divorce your children may be hyper-sensitive about many things. What may have formerly been routine conversations, questions or activities can now be touchy subjects fraught with anxiety, resentment or ager. This is understandable when you consider that the stability of the world they knew has been dramatically altered. Minor insecurities can easily grow into major problems. Children may regress in their behaviors and skills, become more clinging – or more aloof – depending on their adaptability and perspective about the divorce. This is a time to master the art of good parent/child communication so you can reinforce or rebuild trust, security and confidence that things will be okay again – despite the changes inflicted by your divorce. Here are some solid tips for more effective communication with your children. Master them today and they will work on your behalf for years and years ahead. Keep your conversations private – at times when others are not around.

Parenting After Divorce

5 Ways to Minimize the Impact of Divorce on Your Children

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Communication with our children is always important, but never as essential as when they are impacted by separation or divorce. Children are vulnerable and easily frightened by changes in their routines. The more you talk to and comfort them, the less stress and anxiety they’ll experience. This is the time to reassure your children that you are taking care of matters and everyone in the family will be okay. Then, of course, take responsibility for doing what needs to be done to assure their well-being. Here are five important ways you can minimize the impact of divorce on your children to help them thrive during and after your divorce. Strive to keep as much normalcy in your children’s lives as is feasible. Maintaining relationships with friends and neighbors provides a sense of stability and continuity. Keeping children in the same school and remaining in the same

Parenting After Divorce

Two Families Now: Video Class Teaches Effective Parenting During Separation & Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT I was quite impressed with an on-line video course created especially for divorcing and divorced or separated parents. Its child-centered approach and message aligns well with the teachings of the Child-Centered Divorce Network. The program is titled, Two Families Now. The Two Families Now parenting class helps parents lower their stress level and protect children from conflict during the family transition process. The class increases parents' knowledge and awareness of divorce-related factors that affect children. It also helps parents build new skills that will access critically needed social support to help buffer the impact of divorce on your children. As a parent you want to raise children with a healthy sense of self-worth. You want children who are trusting and trust-worthy -- who are open to creating loving relationships in their lives. I firmly believe it’s not divorce per se that emotionally scars children. It’s how

Child-Centered Divorce

How to Rebuild Your Self Esteem After Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Divorce can be devastating on many levels. In addition to the financial and stress toll on both partners, it can easily wreak havoc on one’s self-esteem. Even those who initiate the divorce process can experience tremendous emotional turmoil resulting in guilt, anxiety and insecurity. Those who were not expecting or in any way desiring the break-up can come away feeling psychologically battered, confused and questioning their own worth. It’s hard to tackle these burdens alone. A support group, private coach, professional counselor or other similar resources will be very valuable in reminding you that 1) you are not alone in your experiences or feelings and 2) there is a brighter future ahead for you – if you take proactive steps in that direction. While family and friends are usually very well-intentioned, their support may not always be valuable for you. They have their own agendas, perspectives

Relationship Advice

Tips for Re-bonding with Children for Parents Alienated After Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Children can easily and subtly be influenced by both parents during and after divorce. Sometimes the influence is intentional. Other times parents may not be aware of how they are manipulating their children’s affection and allegiance toward themselves and away from their other parent. Either way, the damage for children can be significant, especially in regards to maintaining a loving connection with both parents when the divorce is over. Here’s some sound advice for parents who feel targeted for alienation and want to re-establish or keep a healthy parent-child relationship: Keep in contact with your children in every possible way. Use video, texts, email and other technology to stay in touch, even on the most basic level. Maintain your personal power regarding scheduling activities and contact with the children. Don’t passively enable your kids or your ex to dictate terms and conditions. Create fun times worth

Parenting After Divorce

Divorced Parents: Made Mistakes You Regret? It’s Not Too Late To Make It Right!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Divorce drives some people crazy. Because of that, they make many poor decisions. Their judgment, integrity and credibility are easy to question. Their decisions regarding taking responsibility for their children come under scrutiny. There is much we can all learn from these mistakes. And wisdom we can take away that is important for all of us to remember: It’s never too late to get it right – when your children are at stake! In the heat of the divorce drama, we may have settled for a decision or two that we later regretted and still feel resentful. Or we made a child-related agreement that, in hindsight, was not in our child’s best interest – but we don’t know quite how to remedy the situation. Perhaps we lost our tempers at an inappropriate time and watched our children painfully internalize the experience. Maybe we referred to our

Parenting After Divorce

Parental Alienation After Divorce: Don’t

Parents: Why It’s Vital To Let Go Of Gru

Parenting Yourself Through Divorce To Be...

Divorced? 4 Valuable Life Lessons to Hel...

How To Talk To Your Kids After Divorce —

5 Ways to Minimize the Impact of Divorce...

Two Families Now: Video Class Teaches Ef...

How to Rebuild Your Self Esteem After Di...

Tips for Re-bonding with Children for Pa...

Divorced Parents: Made Mistakes You Regr...

Blog Posts by Date (Archives)

Categories