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Children of Divorce: Protecting Their We...

For many families, divorce is a part of life. And while every case is different, divorce is never easy. From estranged couples and their children, to in-laws, family members and loved ones, the dissolution of a marriage can have a profound effect on entire families and social circles. And, unfortunately, many divorcing couples become so ensnared in the details of their cases, they forget to focus on the well-being of their children, loved ones, and even themselves. Thankfully, though, there are ways to minimize the emotional and psychological impact of divorce. Keep reading for tips on reducing conflict and simplifying the process of divorce, as well as protecting children along the way. Honesty is (Usually) the Best Policy When it comes to the gritty details of divorce, some things are best kept between the couple in question; however, children should always be included in family conversations about separation and divorce. For

Parenting After Divorce

Parental Conflict Alienates/Hurts/Changes Children of Divorce Long Term

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT In a newsletter from Dr. Mark Goulston I read that: “A majority of teenagers, when asked if they had the choice between their parents being nicer to them or more loving towards each other, will pick the latter. The animosity between parents is very painful to their children.” Stop and think about that for a moment. Teenagers would sacrifice receiving more love from their parents if they could assure their parents got along better with one another. This reinforces what most mental health professionals have long known: Parental conflict is a source of continual pain for our children – whether the parents are married or divorced! As a Divorce & Parenting Coach and Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network for parents, my goal is to make sure both parents fully understand the impact of parental discord upon your children. That’s why I ask every client: Do

Parenting After Divorce

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Co-Parenting Success After Divorce Dependent on Wise Decisions

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT If you’re a parent, divorce doesn’t end your relationship with your former spouse. It only changes the form in some specific ways. It is still essential to create a working relationship focused on the optimum care and concern for your children. Every co-parenting relationship will be unique, affected by your post-divorce family dynamics. However, there are guidelines that will enhance the results for children in any family. Here are some crucial points to keep in mind to maximize your co-parenting success. Respect your co-parent’s boundaries: Chances are your former spouse has a different parenting style than you, with some conflicting rules. Rather than stress yourself about these differences, learn to accept that life is never consistent and it may actually be beneficial for your kids to experience other ways of doing things. Step back from micro-managing your co-parent’s life. If the kids aren’t in harm’s way,

Parenting After Divorce

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Five Keys to More Positive Parenting (and a happier you) After Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Parenting during and after divorce can be complex, frustrating and confusing. However, every day parents around the world are coping with the challenges of raising happy, well-adjusted children. There are many factors that influence your effectiveness as a parent. Here we’ll review five factors that play an important role in your pre- and post-divorce parenting success. Monitor Your Attitude Attitude plays a crucial part in every facet of our lives and especially when we’re coping with divorce. If you approach your divorce with a commitment to making it as positive an experience as possible on behalf of the children you love, you are on your way to succeeding. What attitude are you conveying about your divorce? Try to catch your thoughts and the way you speak about it. Are you filled with negativity? Are your days consumed with a “poor me” state of consciousness? Are you

Parenting After Divorce

Divorced? A quality online scheduling tool can ease the co-parenting process!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Divorce is always more challenging for parents. When both can agree about general parenting philosophies the co-parenting process can be amicable and supportive. However, when the divorce ends in acrimony, too often it leads to spiteful, high conflict parenting which can be extremely harmful for your innocent children. It also creates more tension and stress for both parents who want to move on with their own lives. One way for parents stay on track, co-parent more effectively and reduce sources of conflict is to use an online co-parent scheduling tool. They are designed to eliminate misunderstandings, confusion, inaccurate communication and quarrels about the inevitable changes of plans and last-minute conflicts that come about for divorced parents. They also minimize the stress of co-parenting and make it easier to resolve issues, schedule or re-schedule activates as well as plan vacations, celebrations, medical appointments and other routine family

Parenting After Divorce

The ninth International Child-Centered Divorce Month is being commemorated once again in January. The entire month is devoted to alerting parents about the effects of divorce on children – especially the impact of parental decisions on their children’s well-being during and long after a divorce. Divorce attorneys, mediators, therapists, financial planners, coaches, parenting experts and other professionals around the world are providing free gifts to parents that offer advice and insights to help them best cope with divorce and parenting issues. Our Family Wizard, an online resource providing shared custody calendars and visitation schedules for co-parents, has stepped up to sponsor ICCD Month activities. More divorces are filed in January, following the holiday season, than in any other month. That’s why Rosalind Sedacca, Divorce & Parenting Coach and founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, chose January to commemorate ICCD Month each year. The goal is to educate parents about how

Child-Centered Divorce

Parent/Child Communication – even more vital Post-Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT It’s no secret that one of the biggest challenges a parent faces after divorce is maintaining good communication with your children. Obviously all parents struggle with communication issues as their children grow, but children who have had their lives dramatically altered by separation or divorce need even more attention – and diligent observation by their parents. Children tend not to tell you when they are angry, resentful, confused, hurt or depressed. Instead they reflect their problems through their behavior – acting out or perhaps turning inward in ways that you have not experienced prior to the divorce. Here are some tips that most all professionals agree about as ways to encourage positive and productive communication between you and your children. Many of these are obvious or innate behaviors. Some can easily be forgotten amid the challenges you are juggling in your own life on a daily

Parenting After Divorce

Emotional Effects of Conflict on Children of Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Fighting around the children does more damage to them than divorce itself. A study published in the Journal of Research on Adolescence* shows that children exposed to constant parental bickering are more likely to be depressed. They are also more prone to expressing other “problem behaviors,” including substance abuse, aggression and poor school grades. Never battle where kids can see or hear you. Little ears can pick up phone conversations as well as conflict behind closed bedroom doors. Parents often don't think about the psychological impact of their arguments on children. It changes who they are and how they feel about themselves and life in general. Never lie or play one parent off the other to win your child’s favors. Telling lies about, bashing or demeaning your former spouse confuses, hurts and angers children in serious ways. Keep personal resentments personal and don’t use your kids

Parenting After Divorce

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Celebrity Divorces: Lessons we can learn about Co-Parenting!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT In today’s world Hollywood celebrities are major role models in our culture, especially to the younger generation. For that reason I keep an eye on the movie-star set to see what they’re doing in their relationships. It always makes for great conversation within the Child-Centered Divorce community. Too often the examples we see are poor ones. So many celebrity relationships end in ugly divorces and child-custody suits. Happily, however, there are some admirable exceptions. These couples are stepping up to taking more responsibility for their behaviors before and after the divorce. They are talking about the issues affecting their children and seem more aware than in the past about the consequences for children when a divorce gets nasty. Singer/actress Jennifer Lopez is a prime example. She was quoted during her divorce saying, "I feel very proud of the way we're handling it. I really do. We

Parenting After Divorce

Children of Divorce: Let Them Love Their Other Parent Without Guilt

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT We’ve all heard again and again warnings for parents to not badmouth their former spouse to the children following the divorce. Clearly, while it’s tempting to put Mom or Dad down for the way they’ve hurt you in the marriage, venting to the kids puts them in a very uncomfortable position. They love both of their parents and don’t want to hear about the ways your Ex misbehaved or initiated your divorce. But there’s another factor that doesn’t get as much attention worth bringing up in this same conversation. And that’s forbidding or discouraging your children from expressing love or talking about their other parent around you. Kids naturally want to talk about their lives including things they might have done with their other parent, especially the fun times. If they’re made to feel guilty when bringing up the subject of an adventure with Dad, a

Parenting After Divorce

Children of Divorce: Protecting Their We...

Parental Conflict Alienates/Hurts/Change...

Co-Parenting Success After Divorce Depen...

Five Keys to More Positive Parenting (an...

Divorced? A quality online scheduling to...

January is International Child-Centered ...

Parent/Child Communication – even more v

Emotional Effects of Conflict on Childre...

Celebrity Divorces: Lessons we can learn...

Children of Divorce: Let Them Love Their...

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